4 days till baby is 2!

So I’ve just had the shittest day I’ve had in ages. And a lot of it was fuelled by tiredness, hunger, hormones and the bastard rain.

Friday’s journey to Brett’s house wasn’t bad. Just bit packed on the train. That’s the problem with travelling at rush hour. We got on the 5:15 and got off at 6:35 so not too bad. Brett met us on the platform. His mom was in the car waiting.

When we got back we had some dinner. We had chip shop because it’s a Friday. Scarlett had already eaten at Nursery so she just had some chips. Brett bathed her then we put her down to bed at 9:30. She took ages to drop off.

Brett fell asleep on the sofa at 10. I left him. I climbed into his bed. Played my iPhone games then went to sleep at 12:30. He climbed into bed at some point, he woke me up. But we both went back to sleep.

Saturday Scarlett stirred at 6:55. I heard her but as she’d woke me, I really needed a wee so I ran past her cot and went upstairs. When I came back down she’d settled so I climbed into bed and went back to sleep. I heard her again at 9:30. She was singing. I left her till almost 10 then I got her up. Brett didn’t get up. It annoyed me. He eventually came out the bedroom after Scarlett had already gone shopping with his mom and I had had a shower.

When they got back we headed out to see his family. We stopped at McDonald’s on the way as I was starving and Scarlett needed some lunch. We ate on the way. We were there till 3 then we headed back. I put Scarlett down for a nap. She slept for 90 minutes. I woke her up trying to get past the cot (his room is an obstacle course).

We put her dinner on at 6ish. She ate at 6:30. She had waffles, fish fingers and beans. Then a yoghurt. Standard lol

We ate at 7ish then I put her in the bath. Took ages to get her to go to sleep. Mostly because Brett was on the PS4 and took ages to get off it. We put her down then we watched a film in the front room. We watched paycheck. Not bad film. It had you guessing things, which I like.

He played his PS4, again. Whilst I played my game on my phone in bed. I went to sleep at about 1ish.

Sunday (today) I didn’t hear Scarlett until 9. She was singing so I left her be. Must’ve fell asleep. Woke up at 10 and she was quiet. Rolled over to wake Brett up. Told him it was 10 and we should get up. Slide off the bed to see her and the cot was empty. I figured his mom must’ve picked her up so I went upstairs for a wee. On the stairs I could see her feet on the sofa, she was sat with his brother. So I brushed my teeth and came down to get dressed. I told Brett we needed to relieve his brother from babysitting duties. He just stayed there so I left the bedroom and went into see Scarlett. She had already had her bottle. Then she had some grapes and a yoghurt. The dog was asleep on the sofa and Scarlett slammed her hand down when running past. It startled him and he bit her. She was really upset. I picked her up and took her into the kitchen so I could see her hand. It was a smallest of grazes. I tried to console her but she was heartbroken. I washed her hands to be safe (let’s be honest, dogs lick their own arses). I told her it was okay and he didn’t mean it, she just spooked him. Her cry was really getting to me. I could feel my eyes watering. I hate crying. And I hate public crying even more. I held it back till she composed herself. I took her in the lounge to dress her. She was much calmer. Then she took her dirty nappy out into the kitchen to put in the bin. There was people in the kitchen so I seized my chance to escape upstairs. I had a wee and cried. I cried because my heart hurt. I don’t like when she’s upset. I don’t like not being able to control things. It wasn’t really anyone’s fault. The dog is old and was asleep. She startled him. But he shouldn’t bite. I’m so hormonal. Since the coil I’ve been skipping my period every other month. And it’s annoying. Because yeah, no blood, yay brill. But hormones still rain on me. So I’m either a blubbering mess or a psycho bitch. No inbetween #ideal

I tried to put her down for a nap before dinner. Brett was on his PS4 and didn’t get the hint when I said I wanted to put her to sleep. So after 90 minutes of trying I gave up. Then we had dinner. We got our stuff together and we left to get the train at 4ish. There was rail replacement buses from Woking (2 stops from Home) and I can’t do them buses as they are coaches and I get motion sickness. So I asked my mom if she minded picking us up from Woking. My brother’s girlfriend lives in Woking so she said yeah ok I’ll drop her back when I get you. So ok cool.

We got off the train at 5pm. It’s been raining for 2 days. So it’s soaking wet outside. They tell me to exit via platform 5. So I do. Then I’m told they got stuck because there is a road closed and they got diverted for like 2 miles and can’t get to me so can I go back through the station to platform 1’s exit. So I go back in and explain to the guard. They let me through. I come out the other exit. See mom waving down the road so walk as fast as I can carrying our overnight bag and pushing the stroller. Eventually we’re all in the car. Wet but in. Off we go to drop Natalia home. Scarlett is asleep within minutes. Not ideal. But whatever.

We had to divert again on the way home but we finally arrived just after 6. Kitchen was a mess. The water was still turned off. My mom nipped next door to ask if she could fill up some bottles with water so we could at least make tea. Scarlett had a hissy fit. She sounded like she was in pain. She was really upset. She wouldn’t let anyone pick her up off the floor. She ended up in my mom’s arms and she handed her to me. She calmed down. I asked her what was wrong. She said her elbow hurt (no idea) so I asked if she wanted me to kiss it better. She said Yeah. So I did. Then I asked if she wanted her tea. She shook her head. I said what do you want? She said “my bottle”. So I put her pyjamas on and wiped her face (no bath so it’s the best I could do) then I made her milk. She drank it and seemed to perk up. My mom’s friend came round to fix the pipe on the washing machine. Scarlett said Nunight at 7:30 and I took her up. She went to sleep. Water was back on so I watched Vera at 8 then at 10 I got in the shower. Omg it was so nice to wash my hair. I hate going to work with greasy hair and lately my hair is nothing but greasy. Ughhh!

I laid on my bed for a while after, enjoying the warmth from the heating that had come on whilst I was showering.

Now I’m in bed. Can’t sleep as I didn’t get up till 10 but I’ll try my best!

Scarlett is turning 2 in 4 days (although it’s almost 3 days now). It’s gone by so quick but at the same time it’s gone slowly.

I’m off to dream about the time when my kitchen wasn’t a shit hole, my hair wasn’t constantly greasy and I didn’t feel like shit (sore throat is back).



Laziest weekend ever!

Thursday Scarlett woke up in the night. She’s really into midnight Mama Snuggles at the moment. I’m loving it but I still put her back to bed. No bed sharing. It’s like sleeping with a drink octopus lol

Friday was looooooooong. It just seemed to drag. I felt really tired. I guess working a full week after being off for so long had caught up with me. Scarlett went to bed at 7:30. My mom went to work at 9. I watched some more Elementary. Scarlett woke up at 10:30. I brought her downstairs. I turned off the light, just had the TV as a light. She asked for a bottle. I gave her 5oz. She drank it. She’d had 5oz at 7. So that’s 10oz. That’s not like her. She must be having a growth spurt. She fell asleep on my lap on the sofa. So I left her. Brett turned up at 11:30. I woke her by accident when I got up to open the door when he knocked. She was so happy to see him. She was all over him like a rash. It was good to see because sometimes she really nonchalant about him lol

We put her back to bed then we watched some tele together. It was great just being there together. I think we went to sleep at like half 2!

Saturday Scarlett woke up at 8:30. I took her down to have her bottle. She watched some tele. We did some singing (wind the bobbin up). At 10 we went up and woke Brett up. I made breakfast. Scarlett loves porridge (or as she calls it “orridge”). He put her up for a nap. We watched some more Elementary. She woke up at 2ish. We got dressed and went to town for lunch. We went to Poppins cafe. We love it there. Scarlett had turkey dinosaurs, chips and peas. I had a chicken burger and chips. Brett had the all day breakfast. Mom had the mayo chicken baguette. Scarlett ate loads. My mom left as she was going to her boyfriends for the day/night. We went into the card factory as I needed to buy a few birthday cards. I’ve got a few friends toddler’s birthdays coming up in January and February. Plus my dad and Brett’s mom. And Scarlett (although I’ve already bought her card). So I went into the shop and Brett wandered with Scarlett. When I was done we went into Sainsbury’s. We got a movie to watch later plus he wanted some E45 bath stuff for his skin. We paid and then got on the bus to Home.

As we’d had a late lunch I didn’t plan on doing dinner until about 7. Usually Scarlett’s in bed by then but it’s a weekend and she was up late so I thought Ah Fuck It. So Brett had a bath at half 5. Scarlett and I chilled. My nan was making pies. I love her pies. She agreed to drop the first 2 round so we could have them for dinner. They were still hot (fresh out of the oven) so we had pie for dinner at 7:30. After dinner Brett bathed Scarlett whilst I put her washing away. She had her bottle then she went to bed at 9:30. That’s late for her but she went straight to sleep. We got into bed and watched Bridget Jones’s Baby. Brett actually liked the film though I doubt he’d ever admit it haha

Today she didn’t wake until at least half 9. I didn’t actually hear her until almost 10. She never cries or calls out. She just lays in her cot singing or she’ll get her book from the side and “read”. So I didn’t stir until her singing was louder on the monitor. I brought her in bed with us. I woke Brett up. He watched her whilst I nipped down to do her bottle. She had 8oz (I hate leaving a bit in the bottom of the carton so I poured it all out). She actually drank it all.

We went downstairs and I made her some breakfast. Porridge again lol she ate then she played with Brett. We watched some TV. He took her up for a nap at 1ish. We put on his Conor McGregor dvd. God I hate that Irish twat. But Brett likes him so I tolerated. Brett went up at 3:45 and woke Scarlett up. She was unamused but she can’t sleep all day. We watched some more Elementary and she played. He got his stuff together at 5 and then left to go home. His train was at 6. I put some dinner on at 6ish. We ate at 6:30. FaceTimed my mom then bath by 7ish. Bottle at 7:30. She wouldn’t drink much at first. She was trying to hang out bedtime lol she eventually went to bed at 8:15 but didn’t actually go to sleep until 9. She’s so funny. She was laid in her cot singing to herself and playing with her teletubbies. And she had the photo of her and Brett. She fell asleep holding it. So cute!

I watched Vera at 8 followed by 2 episodes of Elementary. I’ve almost finished season 5. What am I going to do with my life when it’s finished?

I tried to book our Sun Holiday today but they’ve changed how priority people can book so I’ve got to wait until tomorrow. How annoying. We’ve picked 4 sites around Weymouth/Poole area. So hopefully we get one of those. Will book it in the morning.

Back to work tomorrow. My work trousers are clean, I have food for lunch and Scarlett’s outfit for Nursery is laid out so I feel slightly organised lol


Night terrors

Saturday I woke up at 5am. My head was killing me! I haven’t had a migraine in such a long time so this properly threw me. I laid there for like an hour before I conceded defeat and went into the kitchen to scramble for painkillers. I took some, had some water and then laid back down. When Scarlett woke up at 7:45 I still had a bad head and I felt so sick. Brett woke up and said he’d take her so she had a nappy change and a bottle then she waved me goodbye and they left the bedroom. I finally managed to sleep. I woke up just before noon. The house was eerily silent. No dog barking. No people. No TV! I messaged Brett and he said they were visiting his cousins. So I had a shower and washed my hair – it desperately needed washing. Then I watched some TV. They got home at 1ish. We had some lunch. Scarlett hadn’t napped since she woke, apart from 15 minutes in the car. So at 2 I put her down for a nap. My head had started again so I took some more meds and then climbed into Brett’s bed. I didn’t sleep. I just laid there in the dark, dozing. Eventually the pain went. Scarlett woke up at 4ish so we went into the front room to play. She wasn’t very happy when she woke. She was feverish and miserable so she had some calpol, and cuddles. Eventually she perked up. We built some blocks up together and she had a blast knocking them down.

At 5ish Brett’s mom put some dinner on for us. Scarlett ate hers then had a yoghurt for pudding. At 7 Bret took her up for a bath. I did her bottle and she was in bed just after 8ish. We were going to watch a film but by the time Brett finished watching the darts it was almost 11. Instead we curled up in bed chatting then we went to sleep.

Sunday I woke up at 3am because Scarlett was crying. She must’ve had a bad dream or something. She didn’t wake again until 7:45. Brett got up to get her. I did her bottle and he did her nappy. I stayed in bed till 9 then I did us all some breakfast. I put her down for a nap at 10. We watched Suicide Squad. We had planned to watch it the night before but never got round to it. She woke up just after it finished, at 12ish. I gave her a yoghurt and a drink as we weren’t having dinner just yet.

Brett asked me if I had seen the Polar Express. I hadn’t. So he put it on. Scarlett weren’t fussed so she was playing blocks and drawing etc.

We had dinner at 3ish then I packed and at 4:30 we left for the train. The first train was ok but we didn’t have a proper seat. The second train was a pain because a family of 6 kids got on and they were proper noisy. Their mom didn’t even tell them to shush. She let them shout and screech for 20 minutes. I had a headache within 10 minutes. I was so glad when they got off at a station long before mine. Gave me some peace!

We were home by 6:15. Scarlett and I had a bath then she had a bottle and was in bed by 7:15. Mom did some supper at 8. I went up to bed at 9. My head was still banging. I must’ve fell asleep.

Today I woke up at 6am for a wee. My head was much better. I had slept from about 10pm (according to my Fitbit). I did feel good for it. Scarlett was sick in the car when we dropped her to my nan’s house. It was just phlegm. So she’s not sick I don’t think. Just a bit snuffly today.

We hosted training for some engineers on their PDA’s in the afternoon. It went okay. I’ve never done that training by myself so far. But I’ve also never been included in it because we had a team leader before. But as the team is just me, and my manager, I was invited to the training and I did prep for it such as a printing off the handouts and sending dummy jobs to their PDA’s for training purposes.

Scarlett was very grumpy in the car ride home after work. She cheered up a bit for FaceTime with Brett but she still wasn’t her usual self. She got really upset because she couldn’t understand why she couldn’t go to teletubbies land on the TV. Heartbroken she was, bless her!

I got her in bed for 7:15. Heard her chatting and playing till 8pm.

At 10ish the monitor lit up, she was crying. I went upstairs to check her. She was thrashing about and crying. I picked her up. She didn’t want me to hold her. She kept pushing me away and crying. It took 10 minutes for me to calm her and tell her it was mama and I won’t hurt her. I would say she experienced her first night terror. Hopefully she won’t remember anything tomorrow. But jeez it was horrible. I’m now in bed myself.


We are home


So we stayed on the site today. Scarlett figured out she could open her bedroom door in the caravan. This made nap time a lot harder. In the end I laid in our double bed with her and she eventually gave in. I think I nodded off lol Once she was up we had some lunch and then I took Scarlett for a little play in the park behind our caravan. She quite enjoyed walking down there and walking back. She thinks she is a big girl lol

We went to the entertainment centre for dinner and then had a play in the arcade. We played Air Hockey. Brett won, twice. Then we played the basketball game. Brett, twice. We also played a game where you have to lob balls at targets. Again, Brett won, twice. But between us we got enough tickets to get Scarlett some bubbles and stickers. We headed back to the caravan. Brett bathed Scarlett then I had a shower. We put her to bed at 9ish. She actually did stay in bed. We packed then watched NCIS and then Ultimate Force again.


We got up and had breakfast. I dressed Scarlett and myself. Brett had a shower then we did last minute sweeps of the caravan to make sure we hadn’t left anything. We threw our little bin into the main refuse bins on the way to reception to hand the keys back. We booked a taxi to take us to the station. Our train was due at 10:57am. So we just hung about on the platform, together, waiting. Scarlett fell asleep and slept pretty much the whole journey. Our train got stuck on the tracks just before Sevenoaks due to a queue for the tunnel. We ended up pulling into Waterloo East 25 minutes later than we should have which meant our connection between trains went from 40 minutes to 13. So we ran. But we made it. We sat in the wider area of the train as we had the luggage and a stroller. We got off the train at 1:45pm. My mom picked us up and dropped us home. It was great to be home.


We got up and had breakfast. Brett had a shower then we left at 10am for Finkley Down Farm. We had booked tickets for it the night before. They were having a “Teddy Bear’s Picnic”. So Scarlett brought along her new Monkey from holiday. We walked around, looked at all the different animals. Brett took her to the outdoor play area and they went down the massive slide together. We watched the Falconry show then we headed indoors. Brett took Scarlett to play on all the indoor play areas that she was old/young enough for.


We left in the afternoon and stopped by my nan’s for a cup of a tea. We ended up having an early dinner, KFC. I can’t eat KFC more than a few times a year because the spices in the coating aggravate my bowels lol I did enjoy it though. I had a boneless banquet box for 1 and some spicy wings. Brett had the same. We headed home. Put Scarlett in the bath then bed. Then my mom dropped Brett at the station as he was heading home. We had a chilled Saturday.


Scarlett and I had Sunday lunch at my nan’s. She played in the garden a little then after dinner I put her down for a nap and my Nan run me up the shop so I could grab some bits for work. We went home in the early evening for supper, bath, bottle and then bed. For Scarlett lol

Back to work tomorrow. I hate going back after having time off. I like being at home. I have my Coil Review on Thursday to make sure it’s working properly etc. No more babies for us!!!


The day after Boxing Day

Boxing Day Scarlett was much happier and back to herself. We went to the cemetery to lay a wreath on my uncles grave. 14 years we’ve done that. In March he’ll have been gone 15 years. Where does the time go? After we visited his, we visited my nan’s sister. She’s been gone 6 years already. Madness!

We left the cemetery and went to my nan’s brother’s house. He puts on a Boxing Day buffet. Every year. Last year I was 35 weeks pregnant and struggled to eat much because my stomach was squished by a certain little lady. This year she was terrorising everyone when they had food and attempting to play with her cousin who is 3 months older and walking. She ate lots of skips and I gorged on mozzarella sticks lol

She went to bed at 8:30 and I packed our stuff as we were off to Brett’s house today. It was hard knowing what to take as she had so many new outfits. I watched some tele then went to bed.

She woke up at 7ish. I gave her a bottle then we played then watched some tele together. She was tired but hungry by half 8 so I gave her some porridge and dressed her then strapped her in her stroller for a nap. I got myself washed and dressed then put the final bits in our bags, grabbed our gifts for everyone and then at 12ish we went to the station. I fed her a bottle at 12:30. We got the train at 1 and Brett met us off the train at 2:30.

Scarlett and I opened our gifts from Brett and his family. They opened ours. Brett got her the yellow fisher price activity chair and a stroller and babydoll. His mom got her some clothes and got me some pyjamas. His brothers got her a bath toy with extra bath bits. She’ll love that. She’s an extra spoiled bub!!

She had meatballs, mash and gravy for dinner followed by trifle. Then after some playtime she had a bath and at 7 she had a bottle. She was flat out straight after so I laid her in the travel cot then Brett and I went to the pub for a drink whilst his mom listened out for her. We came back and Brett cooked some dinner and now we are in bed watching Monsters Inc.

Overall, a good two days.


Bye Liverpool

Well we have had a brilliant trip to Liverpool. I am so glad to be home though. That train journey home is mad.

Tuesday we decided to go for a walk around the shops. We hit the water front first and I dragged Tasha and Kira up the Freij wheel on the docks. I didn’t realise Tash has a thing about heights, same as our pal Nicola so it must be love if she allowed me to drag her up the wheel lol

So after the wheel we went for a wander around the shops. I went a tad mad in Primark. In my defence, I had to get Scarlett a whole wardrobe for nursery. When I registered her they said that whilst they do their best to ensure their clothes remain relatively mess-free, they cannot guarantee it and one nursery worker told me to go in to Primark for its cheapness. Because as she point out, I’m less likely to worry if she’s wearing something from Primark and crawls through paint or gets her dinner down herself than I would if it was “nicer” clothes. She had a point. So I spent about £80 in there. I got 9-12 months as their sizes always come up smaller so it won’t be long before she’s wearing them even though she’s small and not even 8 months yet lol

We went for dinner again that night at the same place. The whetherspoons. We didn’t see our “mate” again lol

Wednesday we were due to meet the Liverpool girlies (hence the point of travelling all that way). Scarlett was napping after her feed so I left her to sleep then when she woke we grabbed our stuff and left. Tasha had said Kira was being a little madam so she wanted her to kip and she’d meet me there as soon as she was awake. I was only 20 minutes late and Tasha was 20 minutes behind me. I had a nice chat to all the ladies and cooed over their babies. Scarlett went to a few ladies for a cuddle. We went our separate ways after everyone had finished eating. I barely ate because the food wasn’t the kind I eat (fussy eater, right here). We wandered and then took the girls up Radio City Tower. It’s basically a radio hub that’s very high up and you can see for miles. So we did that.

We ended up having dinner in pizza expresss in Liverpool One shopping centre. We decided that another meal at Whetherspoons was a bit much lol I had dough balls and garlic bread. I didn’t fancy pizza although Tasha’s pizza did look lush.

Tasha left that night. Her other half picked her and Kira up.

I booked our train ticket home. It was £49 and we had to be on the designated train at that specific time. We missed the train by 10 freaking minutes. All because we got a bit lost trying to get the merseryrail from Moorfield to Lime Street. So I had to fork it £93 and then wait an hour. So I fed Scarlett then she had a nap.

When the virgin fast train got to Euston I desperately needed a wee so I paid 30p (travesty, why should I pay for a bodily function that I cannot control) and had to take Scarlett with me. There was no signs for baby change (would’ve been easier as bigger room/stall) so took her in normal ladies toilets. In her stroller. Couldn’t close toilet door with her in the way but couldn’t risk (obvs) leaving her outside it so I peed with the door open. Then when I came back out a guard had a go because I’d abandoned the suitcase. Even though I tried to explain that 1) I had to because I couldn’t wheel EVERYTHING into the ladies toilets, 2) I had had to take my baby with me in to the ladies as there was no baby change and therefore everything was made harder and 3) I didn’t see him there 10 minutes previous when I was struggling. I was so annoyed at him.

We finally got home and I was so pleased. Scarlett had missed her nanny and I missed home comforts.

Scarlett is in bed and so am I now.

Can’t believe it’s September already. Where has the time gone?


Finally home

Omg worst weekend. Literally had no sleep due to Brett’s dog constantly barking which kept waking Scarlett up. Then in the day she struggled to get a nap for the same reasons so I had to take her out in the pram for some damn peace.

Brett worked Friday so we went to the park. He got home just after 5. We had gone to the park for the afternoon. We found a big tree so we could sit in the shade on a blanket. It was a nice afternoon just us two. Scarlett was very happy to see him. He sorted some dinner. I got Scarlett ready for bed and then we ate. I put her to bed. Brett fell asleep on the sofa in the lounge after we naughtily took advantage of having a free house. He was on the sofa naked and I tried to wake him but he wouldn’t so I just got into bed. It was late. He came in the bedroom a few hours later and woke me up. Soon after Scarlett was woke up. Again. So I had to sort her out. Didn’t end up going back to sleep for ages. Then I was up with her early again. I was getting so ratty from lack of sleep at this point.

He had pre-arranged plans to go paint balling with his friends so he got picked up just after 8. Scarlett was on the flor crawling towards to me, his dog was about 2 foot away and for no reason he suddenly went for her so I snatched her up and the bastard tried to go for me. I fucking hate that dog. I was so angry and the lack of sleep was driving me insane that I just flung Scarlett on my hip and stormed out of the living room slamming the door behind me. The dog started barking because god forbid you shut him in. I sat on the step in the garden with her whilst I calmed down. I knew I could no longer let her crawl if he was in the room so I decided to take her out again to get some peace, and hopefully nap. So we got in the pram and off we went. We were no more than a minute from his house and she was flat out asleep. So when we passed a bench I sat down, parked her next to me and let her sleep to hearts content whilst I played a game on my iPad. When she woke we walked to the park and sat under the tree (same as the day before).

We stayed in the park until 5 then we walked back so I could feed her. Brett was back at 4pm so he had had an hour to himself before we came back. Again he fell asleep really early. He was flat out on the bed by 10:30pm. Second night in a row he’d missed his shower/bath. He woke up at 3:30am and woke me up. Thanks! I got up with Scarlett and left him to sleep in. I woke him and he wasn’t amused. It took all my energy (I barely had any at that point) not to scream at him “are you for real motherfucker?” I didn’t and I’m very proud lol

I settled on getting a rail replacement bus from Hackbridge to Streatham Common. Then I’d get a train to Clapham junction then home. So that’s what I did. On the bus at 15:05 and we arrived home at 16:30.  I was so glad to be home. Scarlett was glad too. She had missed her nanny.

Scarlett is in bed asleep and I’m in bed myself. We have a busy day tomorrow. We are due on the train at 11:30am for Liverpool. I can’t wait to get there.

I did lots of washing when I got home so I could pack. But it’s all done now. Just need to put in any last minute bits.