Waiting to hear from the estate agent

Thursday I viewed both properties. The first one, the one in Anglesey Avenue, was brilliant. I liked it immediately. The second one was alright but not a fave. I asked if I could put myself forward for the first one. I signed the forms and that was it. I went back to work.

I was called by the agent who explained that as there was 2 offers it had been down to the landlord to make a choice. He had been unable and wanted to meet each prospective tenant. So I agreed to meet him at 5:30 Friday at the estate agents office. Not ideal as I get the train to Brett’s at 5:15 so we’d be a bit later than usual.

I watched Death in Paradise then I packed our stuff for the weekend at Brett’s house.

Friday I went to work like normal. Was a slow day. I felt really drained and it seemed to drag. I met my mom for lunch. We went to Poppins in town. At 5 she picked me up from work and we drove to Bridges office in Frimley. We were early so we sat inside waiting. Scarlett did a poo so mom took her back to the car to sort her. The landlord turned up and we went into a meeting room to have a chat. He seems very nice and is a seasoned landlord so he knows what he’s doing. He asked me things my age, Scarlett’s age, do I work, where do I work, where I’m from, where I live and how long for, any pets, what do I want from life, long term goals, what I thought of the property etc. We parted ways at 6 and thankfully we got on the 6:15 train and were at Hackbridge for 7:45. We grabbed McDonald’s on our way from the station. Scarlett went to bed at 10ish.

Saturday she woke up at 7ish. I got up with her. Did her some toast and a cup of tea. I dressed her and she went shopping at 10 with Brett’s mom. I used my free time to get dressed and chill out. Brett was up by then. We discussed the cinema. When they got back from shopping we walked down the road to Asda. We had lunch then we wandered around. I bought myself some new bras and knickers as well as a new top plus I got Scarlett a new book, new sandals for summer and socks.

We walked back home. Scarlett fell asleep on the walk home so we left her in the stroller in the hallway. I was shattered so I laid on Brett’s bed then fell asleep for like 45 minutes. He woke me up throwing my slipper at me. Not sure why he has to be such a knob. I was clearly tired as I never fall asleep in the day and he woke up just to tell me I was snoring. Twat!

When she was up we played then at 7 I cooked us some dinner. Brett had a bad head so he’d gone to lay down. The meds kicked in and he was ok just as I dished up dinner so we ate together. She had her yoghurt for pudding. Brett got in the bath and then we got ready to head out. We got to the cinema at 8:35. As usual we were late because we were waiting for Brett. Luckily films don’t start for 20 minutes. We queued up to get tickets. Usually we do this online but I have a vue gift card as a Christmas present which you have to activate at the cinema. So we got tickets and drinks then went to find our seats. We watched Den of Thieves. It was actually quite good. It finished at 11:15 and we waited to be picked up.I was tired as I’d been in the cinema without my glasses so my eyes felt strained. I laid in bed and waited for Brett to go to sleep. I can block out his snoring but he can’t mine, so I have to wait for him to fuck off to sleep lol

Sunday (today) Scarlett woke up at 7 again. I took her into the lounge for some breakfast. She ate whilst we watched a film. I put on Moana. It’s actually a really lovely film and she watched about 60-70% of it. We went in at 9:30 to wake Brett up. He never wants to get up. And Scarlett whacking him in the balls by accident didn’t help. We left him to it and about 15 minutes later he came out of the bedroom. We watched the Winter Olympics. Scarlett played and followed Scott around. The dog tried to sit on Scott’s lap and when Scarlett noticed she got very annoyed. She said “no buster, move. My Scott”. It was very funny.

We didn’t stay for dinner today. I wanted to get home. So we had sandwiches at 1pm then we left at 2:30pm to catch the 2:53 train. As usual we were late leaving. We got there and the lift wasn’t working so Brett carried everything up the stairs. Then I went to use the platform lift and it was taking too long that the train pulled up so I stood at the top of the stairs with the stroller and my weekend bag trying to figure it out. A guy offered to help so between us we managed and we ran for the train. We made it!

We got off at Clapham junction 6 minutes later then after a 15 minute wait, we got back on a train for Home. At 4pm we arrived and my nan picked us up. We went back to hers instead of Home as Scarlett wanted to see Grandad, and Marley. We had a cup of tea then we walked home at 5:30pm.

We had soup and bread for dinner. She loves soup. She actually spooned some of my soup into her bowl. Greedy! She had a yoghurt after then I took her up for a bath. I ended up in the bath with her. I washed my hair under the shower then we got out. At 7:30 I made her bottle then we settled to watch some Dancing on Ice. She loves it. She watches so intently then when they finish she sits up properly and claps. It’s the cutest thing. I took her up to bed at 8:15 and she went straight to sleep. I watched the first episode of Requiem. Very odd. Not sure my mom would cope watching it alone, she’s a wimp. I went up to bed at 10:30. I’m just laid here now. May read a bit of my book (first book of 2018) then go to sleep.

It’s shrove Tuesday this week (pancakes) then Valentine’s Day Wednesday. Brett and I are spending a night away Saturday. Should be fun. We’re going to watch 50 shades freed.



Christmas Eve 2017

Friday was my last day at work. I worked really hard to finish everything I could before I left at 1pm. My mom picked me up at 1 and we went to my Nan’s for lunch. We left there to go to Costco as I needed to pick up a few items. We grabbed what I needed and I picked 2 items for my mom to wrap up for me as she had no idea what to get me. After Costco we dropped my Nan back home then mom and I went to Morrison’s so I could get some stocking fillers for Scarlett. We dropped it all home and had a quick cuppa then we headed back out to pick Brett up from the station. Then we went to pick up Scarlett. She was so happy to see him there. She ran over and gave him a big hug. She looked at me like I was shady though. As I NEVER pick her up. Neither does he. But apparently I’m the one she was confused about lol

We got home and she played. We opened our gifts from him. He opened ours. He took her up for a bath then he put her to bed. She didn’t go to sleep straight away. We could hear her singing to herself an hour later.

We ordered Pizzahut then we climbed into bed and watched a film. I made him watch Burlesque. He enjoyed it surprisingly.

Saturday Scarlett woke up at 9am which was a lovely lay in. I left her in my bed with Brett whilst I made her bottle. She drank it then we went downstairs. I did her some breakfast then she played. We watched some Postman Pat. Brett took her up for a nap at 11:15. She didn’t wake until almost 2pm. When she was up we got dressed and went to my nan’s. I made some lunch and she played with her cousins. My uncle was painting his girl’s nails and Scarlett was watching. She seemed really intrigued. When his youngest stood up from the stool, she sat down in her place and put her hands on the table ready. It was adorable. So he painted her nails for her and surprisingly she sat still for him to do it. She then went around showing off her nails. It was just so funny.

We had dinner there and then went home at 6:45. Brett bathed Scarlett and then he went to my nans to pick up his hoodie. He had left it there. I did Scarlett’s bottle whilst he was gone then when he was back I took her up to bed. She was tired.

My mom went to work at 8:45. It was just me and Brett. We were watching a film on TV. I went up for a shower then we had our much needed chat about the future. We’ve decided we want to give our relationship another go. We have things we want from each other and things we should/need to work on. We have wishes for 2018. I have personal goals. So does he. One thing we agree on is less rowing. I mean, who likes to row anyway!

He went up and had a shower. I put NCIS on in bed and we watched some. He fell asleep at 1am. I switched the TV off at 2am and went to sleep myself.

Today it is Christmas Eve! Like for real, Christmas Eve. I heard Scarlett at 8am but she didn’t whinge to get up so I left her and she went back to sleep. So did I. She woke up at 10am. What a babe! She had her bottle in bed with us and we played silly games then we went downstairs. We had some breakfast. She had tea, toast and banana. The usual. She went up for a nap at about half 11. We got into bed with the TV on as it was cold downstairs and we didn’t need to do anything. We could chill. It was nice. We went downstairs at half 12 and I stuck some tv on. I made us lunch at 1ish. Brett went up and woke Scarlett up at 2. She had some lunch. Though she didn’t eat much of it. She opened her Christmas Eve Box. She got a book (‘Twas the night before Christmas), underwater bath lights, a note pad and crayons, a Christmas dvd (Arthur Christmas) and some pyjamas.

Before she’d woken up we had decided that me and her would spend Christmas at his. We hadn’t planned to. I was happy to be at home. But I just sat there thinking about him going home and how we aren’t even celebrating Christmas at ours until the 27th and it just made no sense to stay home. So I packed some bits and picked a few presents for Scarlett to open, and grabbed the items I had bought for his family then we got in the car. My mom dropped us as the station at 4:30. We got on the train and finally got to his area at 5:45.

Scarlett was tired and a bit shy at first. Like usual. But she soon jumped all over Scott and Nanny. She had a bath and then we had some dinner. She didn’t eat much. She played a bit then at 8:45 I did her bottle then at 9 Brett took her to bed. I’m thankful she doesn’t understand Christmas yet. Imagine trying to convince a 3/4 year old that they have to go to bed because santa is coming!

We’re just watching some film on TV and enjoying the fact we haven’t got any presents to wrap etc.

Merry Christmas all …


Not how I expected my weekend to go

Friday was a nightmare at work. My temp, who use to give me a lift, said she wasn’t coming back on Monday. One of the managers had upset her and she didn’t want to work in a place where people are rude to each other. She was furious in the afternoon. I half expected her to up and leave there and then. I think she would’ve if she’d had her car but her husband had borrowed it because his was in the garage.

We were due to go to Brett’s house. Normally I check the trains ahead of time but I left it until 3pm. When I looked it said there were delays my end of the tracks until 5-6pm and his end there was a lot of cancelled trains due to an issue at East Croydon. So I thought we could go at 7pm as the was a train at 7 that looked like it was the usual 1 connection, 1 hour 15 minutes route. But when I got in from work, I realised it would be far too cold, far too late and far too dark to be dragging my toddler on the train. So I told Brett that I’d decided not to come due to the reasons above. I anticipated he’d have the hump but what happened was beyond anything I expected. He was utterly vile to me. Basically insulted my parenting skills by trying to say that taking her to watch a 15 minutes fireworks display in a mild November is the same as a 90 minute December journey at 7pm at night on a Friday after being at Nursery all day. And said I must be such a good mom for taking her to see fireworks (in the dark and cold) but not taking her on a train. Also said I traumatised her by taking her to see Santa. Oh and brought up the one time recently when she was walking underneath me when I was carrying something. I didn’t see her, I turned and my knee knocked her over and she hit her head on the doorframe. Like it was an accident. They happen from time to time. I didn’t mean to hurt her and I felt awful when she was upset. I picked her up and gave her a cuddle. That’s what moms do. I frequently pick her up and cuddle her.

Anyway, he was just horrible to me and I realised that I just don’t need or want him in my life (or Scarlett’s) anymore. So I blocked him for some peace then later I messaged him to say I can’t be with him anymore. I don’t love him in the same way as I used to. I’m not coming for Christmas. And please don’t harass me to get me back or try emotional blackmail like you usually do. I then blocked him again. I was up till almost 3am chatting to my bestie. She had a lot of support and advice to give on leaving a shitty relationship.

Saturday he tried to call me at some point in the morning as I had a voicemail. I only listened to a few seconds before deleting it.

Scarlett got up at 9. She had her bottle and we read some of her new books. She asked for breakfast. I asked her what she wanted, cereal or toast? She said toast. I said tea too? She said yeah! She’s so funny. So she had tea, toast and banana. I waited to eat with my mom as she was going to cook breakfast. We ate at 10:30. Scarlett had some sausage then I put her up for a nap at 11:15. I went up and got in bed because I was so cold and I had a headache. I fell asleep and woke up at 1:30. Then Scarlett woke. I dressed her then I finished putting addresses on the presents I needed to send.

Mom drove me to the post office so I could mail everything. I mailed all my gifts except my Australian secret santa. It was going to cost me £88 to send a £30 gift lol so I decided to try a different postal service. We went into town so I could get a refund on the PS4 Pro I bought Brett for Christmas. So I’m now £300 richer. Which is great because I have Scarlett’s 2nd cake smash to pay for in January as well as her birthday party.

After Argos we went to my nan’s. She had a full house. Everyone was there. We stayed for a few cups of tea. Scarlett had lunch when we first got there. We left at 5. I ordered a Chinese whilst we were watching Madagascar. It took over an hour to come. Scarlett was proper hangry. We ate then I took her up for a bath. I ended up bathing with her. We got our and got dressed. I did her bottle then she said goodnight to everyone as my mom was going to work and so was my brother. I took her up at 9:15 for bed. She was flat out within 15 minutes.

I was watching Grimm on Netflix when the bloody door knocked. I knew who it was. No way was I answering. I have nothing to say to him. I thought I’d made myself pretty clear in my message the night before. I ignored the door. But he knocked twice more. The light in our kitchen was on so I knew he’d see me if I darted upstairs to look out the window. I stood in the doorway and he must’ve sense it because I heard him say something about “come on just answer the door”. I ran upstairs to tell my brother girlfriend not to open the door. Not that she would have. It’s late.

I came back down and he spoke to me through the letterbox. Said he wanted to talk so could I at least open the door. I said no. It won’t change anything. I’m done. I can’t do this anymore. He said he wants to try and he’s listening. I said why listen now. You’ve had almost 2 years. We’re not the same as we were. It’s finished. He got a bit angry and slammed the letterbox. I thought he was gone so sat down but he came back and called my name. So I said what? He said so this is it? You want me to go? I said Yes that’s what I’ve been saying. He said he was sorry it got to this point and sorry we couldn’t work it out. He said he hopes I have a good Christmas and I look after Scarlett then he slammed the letterbox and went. Me and my brother’s girlfriend sat in the front room for a while, expecting him to knock again. But he didn’t. We chatted a bit and then I carried on watching Grimm.

I’m in bed now. Going to have a lazy day tomorrow. I just want to relax and have a laugh with my baby girl. She’s all that matters to me.


Okay, not single

So we talked. We agreed we both need to do more and be better. I’d had a long ass week at work. So had he. I’m worried about my impending scan (waiting for the letter). Christmas is coming. Money!

Saturday morning Scarlett gave me an epic lay-in. She woke up at 9am. I was like woah! She got up and had her bottle. We watched teletubbies then we had breakfast. She went down for a nap at 11am. Mom and I started tidying my room. It’s been too long since I did it. I managed to get rid of 3 bags of unwanted clothes – both mine and Scarlett’s. Also 2 bags of rubbish. And some recyclables. Overall we did well. She woke up at half 1. We got dressed and headed to my nans for lunch and a cup of tea. We ended up being there until 6pm. Scarlett had dinner there then we headed home. I still had some bits to do in my room so once she was in bed I ate, caught up with Inhumans then headed upstairs to finish. My room looks so much better now.

Today she woke up at half 7. She had a bottle and we played then breakfast. We got dressed and then my mom dropped us at the station. We got to Eastleigh at 10:30. She was a bit shy at first as we don’t see my dad and family that often. She was fine after a while. We had lunch at 12ish then we went to the park behind my Dad’s house. Then we wandered to the lake before heading back.

She was tired so I got her to lay down on a blanket in the front room. She nodded off pretty quick. We left her to nap. We convened in the kitchen. She woke up and they all had dinner (I don’t like gammon so I just had some mash). Then they had pecan pie and custard. Apparently she likes it as she ate all her pudding. We grabbed our stuff at 4:45 and set off for the train station.

We got on the train at 5:15 and were back in Farnborough by 6:05. Mom hadn’t eaten (and neither had I) so we got food on our way home. We ate. Scarlett helped lol she got in the bath at 7:30. I had a shower then I did her bottle and she went to bed at 8. She was out like a light, bless her.

I got into bed at half 9. I found my Fitbit charger so that was on charge after I showered. It had been flashing red at me all day so I had fully expected it to die all day.

Payday tomorrow. Can finally get some of my Christmas shopping done on Saturday. I have 1/3 left to do. Some is online so will get it ordered. We’re taking her to see santa on Saturday. I wonder if she’ll cry like she did last year lol

I’m waiting patiently for my urgent scan referral letter. Hopefully I get that tomorrow. The sooner it’s done, the better I’ll feel.


Ps. There is 28 days till Christmas!!!!


Got the train at 5:15pm Friday and got off at 6:30pm. Brett’s mom picked us up. She called Scarlett cheeky and Scarlett said it back to her as clear as day. Another word for her word list lol we all had dinner together at 8:30. Scarlett ate lots considering she’d had her dinner at nursery at 4pm lol we got her into bed for 10pm. She was flat out.

We climbed into bed not long after. I was so tired. Friday’s are always long especially with the added travelling too.

Saturday Brett was working so he got up at 6:45. His dad came in to wake him and he accidentally woke Scarlett up. I expected her to go back to sleep but she wouldn’t so after 90 minutes of trying, I ended up getting up with her. I felt so tired. She usually sleeps well on a weekend so it was hard getting up lol

I gave her some breakfast then I had a quick shower before dressing her so we could go out with Brett’s mom. We dropped his foster brother off at the train station as he was seeing his other family today and then we went to Sainsbury’s. I got Scarlett a bunch of fall outfits. I only spent £40. I got her a really cool dress and leggings set. I might keep that for the weekend rather than let her trash it at nursery lol

After shopping we went back home to put it away and I made her a sandwich to take with us to see some of Brett’s family. We headed out at 12ish. We stayed for a few hours. Scarlett played with Brett’s cousins. She was in her element.

When we got back Brett was back. She was asleep in the car so I put her down for a nap. She slept for 2 hours. When she was up she had her dinner then me and Brett headed out for date night. We went to Frankie and benny’s. I had a banging headache so we had to stop at boots so I could get some painkillers before we went into the cinema. They dulled it enough for the movie. We watched “The Hitman’s Bodyguard”. It was pretty good. We got back at about half 11. I got straight in to bed. Brett crawled in a while later. He said he’d get up with Scarlett in the morning.

So when she woke up at 8ish I woke him up and he took her out of the bedroom at 8:30. I nodded back off at 9:30 and woke up at 11:30. I laid there for a bit then I climbed out of bed and went to find them. They were flat out asleep on the sofa together. So cute.

I moved her to the cot and she slept for 2 hours. When she woke up it was almost dinner time. I got her dressed and we played for a bit then we had dinner. She ate lots. She always starts off by eating her vegetables followed by her meat lol she barely touches her potatoes. Weird child. But I love that about her. VEG VEG VEG!

After dinner she played with Brett and his brother. I packed our stuff up. We got on the train at 6:20 and got to our home stop at 7:30. No one was available to pick us up so we got a taxi as it was pissing down with rain. We were home by 8pm. Mom made a cup of tea and Scarlett watched 1 teletubbies episode before bath, bottle, kisses and then bed. I got her down by 8:45. She went almost straight to sleep bless her. I caught up with Midnight, Texas and then I came up to bed. Work tomorrow!


Rome: the final destination

So it’s a good job that I did put cushions down. I woke up about 6ish and Scarlett was laid fast asleep on the floor, on the cushions. I’m not sure IF she did fall out of bed. Or whether she tried to get out but was sleepy and just laid down lol but either way, I didn’t want to leave her there so I put her back in her bed and she then didn’t wake up until 8ish. I gave her a bottle then got her dressed so we could go down and get some breakfast. I asked Brett if he wanted to go but he said No. we went down and had some toast and OJ. We headed back up to pack the few bits we’d unpacked and then check out.

We checked out at 10:30 and started our long journey back to the train station. We asked at the station what the best way to get to the airport would be and they said bus. So we paid for a bus, at the bus station next to the station and at 11:25am we set off. We arrived at the airport just before 12. Our flight wasn’t until 4:20pm and the info for it wasn’t displayed so we decided to grab some lunch. So we found a restaurant and had some food. Scarlett fell asleep so we sat there for ages just chatting and shit. At 2:15 the display boards showed what check-in desk we needed to go to so we set off. We waited in the queue for what seemed an eternity. We finally got to the front and got our luggage checked-in. Then our boarding passes and off we headed to passport control and our gate. We went through. Brett took Scarlett to change her nappy whilst I grabbed some water for us. We got in the queue for the flight. We had to go on a shuttle bus to the plane. We finally got on the aeroplane at 4:10pm and then we took off.

Scarlett is such a brilliant traveller. I could not be more proud of her. She’s done so brilliantly. She’s been on 2 aeroplanes, 2 trains and 1 bus. Plus a few taxis. She’s just awesome.

We touched down in Rome at 5:25pm and then we picked up our luggage. We arrived at Fiuicimo terminal 1 and had to walk across from there to the train station. We booked a ticket, had a quick wee and at 6:23pm we embarked towards Roma termini. Scarlett had a bottle as she was whinging for one. We walked from the station to our hotel. We got there at 7:25pm. Finally got checked in and settled by 8pm. Brett had a shower then we headed out for dinner.

Brett had pizza and he shared with Scarlett. I had tomato and basil spaghetti. It was delish but so filling. We left and stopped at a supermarket for some bath stuff as we had run out. We got back to our apartment quite late. Scarlett and I had a shower together again and then Brett dressed her whilst I washed my hair off then I put her to bed. She took ages to go to sleep. Was almost midnight before she could be counted as “being asleep”.

Brett and I were going to watch a film in bed on the iPad but it’s too late. We need to get some kip lol

Heading into Rome tomorrow for the day. We aim to see the Trevi fountain, colosseum and a few other sights!


One night in Venice

So this morning we woke up for the last time in Verona. We really enjoyed our stay at the Caraverona apartment. Scarlett got up and had a bottle then some breakfast. We packed everything up and headed out at check-out. We grabbed some breakfast at the cafe next door before heading to the train station. We got a taxi as it was easier than lugging two cases for 7 miles lol

We got to Verona Porta Nuova. I got our tickets and we headed to our platform. We decided to sit in the upstairs part of the train. Scarlett fell asleep. Brett had a nap and I watched Salem on my iPad. That's how I travel. I can't sleep like them two lol

We arrived at Venezia St Lucia at about 2:45pm. We had a row outside the station because I shouted at Brett. We were hungry and hot lol we walked the entire way to our hotel apartment for check-in. I was sweating like a pig and the guy made us wait ages (another customer was asking about city tax) before he got round to asking me the necessary questions for check-in. Then he proceeded to tell me the apartment I was due to stay in was not available and I'd have to have one of the hotel rooms there, instead. Same price and no more walking to find it so we said yes ok. I paid and then we dumped our stuff upstairs before heading out.

We wandered. We saw shops and the sights. We stopped in a cafe for ice cream. Scarlett shared with us. We carried on walking around. The biggest issue (annoyance) for us was the constant steps up and down the bridges. With a stroller it was hard work. Even more so when we first had lugged our suitcases from the train station to the hotel. We ended up walking really far from our hotel. I was searching for the "Lock" bridge. The bridge that had all the locks on it thag people had wrote on and padlocked to it. But we didn't find it. Maybe next time.

I can't say I'm overly keen on Venice. The water, with a toddler. Yikes. Dangerous. And the thin, narrow streets between bullrings, claustrophobic! And just how busy it is. I do regret a little not riding a gondola but for €80, I'll pass. We didn't budget for that much to be spent in one transaction. And as Brett has rode one before and I was wary due to Scarlett being only 18 months, we decided it was a big firm NO. Next time, if we visit Venice just the two of us, we'll do it then.

We decided to head back before we went for dinner. So we did. Took a long walk lol we dropped off what we had purchased (Brett more than me). We headed out for dinner at about 9ish which is really late for Scarlett. Nonetheless she did well. The restaurant we ate at, we ate outside on the street and the waiting staff were brilliant. They were so interactive with Scarlett. One even picked her up to talk to her. I won't lie, I felt so on edge because you just don't know this person. But I forced a grin and she was loving the attention. We ate. I had grilled chicken and tomato garlic bread. Brett had a pizza (that he shared with Scarlett). We ate and paid. We tipped because they deserved it then we headed to a shop for some drinks then we went back to the hotel. There was no bath so I had to shower with Scarlett in my arms then Brett took her from me to dry and dress her whilst I washed myself. She slept on a bed. A proper bed. With no "cot side" like on our holiday to Hastings. I was worried she'd roll out. So I put some cushions on the floor so if she did, she'd just roll onto them.

When she was asleep we stuck on a film on the iPad. But it kept cutting out then it disappeared off Netflix. So we tried another. And it played but then it cut off half way through. The hotel wifi was SHIT! So we turned it off and went to sleep.

Headed to Rome tomorrow. Got to get to the airport somehow, from Venice train station. We'll figure it out. We always do.