TGI Fridays was mad busy

Friday the guy did fix my cooker. Decided to have dinner at mom’s anyway. So I gave Scarlett a bath then at half 6 we walked down the road so we could settle in and watch Emmerdale. Scarlett sat in the armchair with Frozen on the iPad. She didn’t move lol we had chicken in pitas then Scarlett and I headed home.

Saturday we got up at 8 for ballet. She had fun. Afterwards we went for a late breakfast then we went shopping. We stopped at Nan’s for lunch. We headed home at 4 as we were going out for dinner with my work friends at 7:30. Scatlett had a nap whilst I washed my hair and did my make up. We got in the car at 6:45. We were early. We arrived at TGI Fridays at 7:15. My manager was already there. It’s her birthday we are celebrating. We waited for the others to arrive then we went in to be seated. Our table wasn’t ready or something so we went to the bar. One of my work colleagues bought a round of drinks. Scarlett sat at the bar on a barstool. She looked so funny sat there with her drink (lemonade, just to clarify). Eventually our table was ready. So we sat down, ordered our food then more drinks. There was a rowdy hen party next to us and they kept making Scarlett look round. She was not overly impressed with their noise lol we had a lovely evening. Scarlett was really well behaved and everyone interacted with her which was great. She took a liking to two of my work peeps because they played with her a lot. And she was chasing a balloon around and bopping it across the table lol we got the bill just before 10. Someone kindly offered to pay my share even though I was quite capable. I kindly accepted. However I don’t usually let people pay for me. I’ve always paid my way so it felt a bit weird. Even Brett doesn’t often get away with paying for me lol I don’t mind going halves but I hate when I don’t/am not allowed to contribute. Feels weird.

Anyways we got a lift to the station and just made the 10:15 train home. My Nan picked us up from the station and dropped us home.

Sunday we had a great lay in. We woke up at 9. We had breakfast then we watched Moana. I had a headache. It was driving me loopy. At 12 we climbed into bed to read books and just relax. We left for my Nan’s house at 1ish. We had dinner at half 2. We stayed for a cup of tea and the others had pudding. Scarlett included, obviously. We headed home at 4ish and my Sainsbury’s delivery showed up an hour early.

We had supper and watched Tinkerbell and the legend of the neverbeast. Mom popped in for a few hours. We had a cup of tea and she finished watching the movie with us. Scarlett had a bath, mom dressed her whilst I had a quick shower then she headed home and Scarlett went to bed.

Monday I got up but I felt like shit. My nose was blocked, my throat was sore and I had a headache still. I was half tempted to stay at home because Scarlett said she didn’t feel well either. But up we got and off we went. Work was fine, caught up on some stuff. Was so ready to finish when 5:30 hit. I cooked myself dinner and Scarlett stole some of my chips lol what she doesn’t realise is that I always cook extra so she’s not actually stealing anything, they’re kind of her chips anyways.

Today I felt really hyper in the morning. Had our weekly conference call, instead of Monday. That took up an hour of my day. Then I spent the rest of it busy but not focused. My hay fever was playing up even tho I take my meds every day!

Was checking my gas and electricity bill as I had given readings last week. They’re changing my direct debt payment from £47 to £78. That is a £31 difference. Last month it said I was “in credit” but now it says I’m “in debt”. How? In one month? I didn’t even use my cooker for 9 days. And I’m at work all day. So I only use my electricity or gas in the evenings or weekends. And in August I was at Brett’s one weekend, another we stayed in a hotel. So I don’t understand. I contacted them and they said they cannot reduce it back to what it was. I said I cannot afford to pay that much. There’s only me and a toddler living here. I had the right hump!

Scatlett and I had dinner when we got in. We ate at 6:30 then watched half of Emmerdale then she had a bath. We watched the second half then she went to bed at 9. I’m in bed myself. My eyes are sore and I’m quite tired. My throat is better now but I still have a headache #moaningbitch #moaningmyrtle


Ps. Today I got home contents insurance sorted and life insurance. If I crock it, scatlett gets £50K but I need to write a will to say where she’ll be living. God adulting is hard!


Another crazy week

Monday we got up and had breakfast. We went into town with mom. I was going to get Scarlett’s feet measured at Clarke’s but it was so busy. The kids haven’t gone back to school yet so it was a silly idea on my part to even attempt it. So we went to the card shop and then we had lunch. Scarlett had this big ass burger. It was as big as her head haha

Brett went home in the early evening and me and Scarlett chilled out. Got back in work/nursery mode.

Tuesday was busy. But a good day overall. I was tired though. I can’t seem to nod off because 1am atm!

Wednesday I left work at 12 to pick Scarlett up from nursery as everyone else was at a funeral. We walked around town then got a bus home. The gas safety check people came at 3pm. They’ve condemned my cooker. The mechanism that is suppose to turn the gas rings off (if the glass lid is shut) doesn’t work. So they’re going to have to repair or replace. I told my landlord and he’s got them booked in to look at it properly on Monday and hopefully it’ll be an easy fix. I’m doubtful. And I reckon it’ll end up being a replacement which means I could be without a cooker till next week. I went to moms as it was her turn to host our weekly natter with her friend. She cooked pizza for us adults and Scarlett had spaghetti carbonara. We went home at 8ish. Scarlett had a bath then went to bed in my bed. She said she doesn’t feel well and she’s got a cough so I let her.

Thursday I was back to work. I helped other regions with their gritting quotes as I’d done all mine. After work we stopped by mine so I could get changed and grab some food for me to cook at mom’s house. We left moms at 7:30 for home. We had a bath then Scarlett went to bed at 9. I did 2 loads of washing and caught up with some TV.

Friday I helped again at work as well as sorting my own regional stuff. The day felt slow but it sort of flew by. We got on the train at 6:15 which was good considering there was guard strikes this weekend. We got off the train at 7:30. Scarlett did my head in the entire journey. Usually she’s really good but she was just on one. She would not listen. I spent so much time telling her the same thing over and over. I lost my patience towards the end and when she rammed her finger in a gap by the train door I lost it, grabbed her arm away and told her I was going to sell her for a goat. She then proceeded to yell very loudly to the entire carriage that I hit her. So I told her loudly back that no I did not and I had simply removed her finger from the train door before it got snapped off. God I wanted to die there and then. When we got off I practically threw her at Brett’s mom and sauntered off. She didn’t cheer up until we got back and ate (even though she’d had dinner at nursery). She didn’t have a bath because it was quite late and I just couldn’t be assed. One day would hurt her. So she got into bed at 10. She played up a bit but eventually she settled. We ended up going to bed before midnight. I was tired.

Today she woke me up at 7. I wasn’t ready to get up and I really struggled. But up we got. We watched peter rabbit and I did breakfast. At 9 she got back in her bed and watched Frozen on the iPad. I got back into bed and dozed for ages.

His mom popped her head in at half 10 and asked if Scarlett wanted to go shopping. So she dressed her and off they went. I got up and got dressed. Brett watched some UFC then made lunch when they got back. I went into the bedroom to put my phone on charge at 3 and I fell asleep. I don’t do that often. Weird. I woke up at 6:30 then we had dinner at 7. I bathed Scarlett at 8. Brett had fell asleep. Scarlett spent an hour upstairs with her uncle Scott. He brought her down at 9 and I put her bed.

I tried to wake Brett up at half 10ish but he just made incoherent sounds so I left him. I’ll just crawl in next to him when I’m ready to go to sleep in a bit. What a waste of an evening together but it’s fine. I watched TV with his mom and dad.

Going home tomorrow and my grocery shopping will be delivered in the evening. I went with Sainsbury’s this time as Asda kept sending me stuff that was only a few days away from the expiry date. I had to chuck so much away because it had actually gone off. Dates are guidelines I know. But I had bananas and some fruit going manky after a few days. What a waste!


Ps. We go to Corfu in 24 days! It’ll be 3 weeks on Tuesday!!!!!

When is it winter?

I feel awful that I haven’t checked in sooner. I did think about it and started writing a post the other day. I try to check in every week. And it annoys me when I don’t manage it. Mostly because my recall isn’t as good as it use to be. And the little anecdotes that are funny and I’d like to share tend to get lost. And yes I do lead a busy life to some extent. I work full time, I look after a toddler and try to squeeze time in with my reading, my TV shows and obviously seeing Brett. But blogging does usually fit in. Just not this week.

Wednesday (18th) was better at work. It’s still so hot it’s like Satan’s asshole. I wish this weather would fuck right off. And no I’m not typical British who moans when it’s cold then moans when it’s warm. I only moan when it’s warm. I love the fall and winter months. Big jumpers. Cozy shoes. Hats. Gloves. Scarves. I love it! Bring on autumn I say!!!!

I booked our next hoseasons holiday. Just for us and Scarlett. It was a low deposit so I thought fuck it and paid it. The trip is about £300 each so not too bad for 7 nights in the cotswold in a 2 bed lodge with a hot tub!!!!

Thursday (19th) was hot. What a surprise! The weekend was getting closer though so I couldn’t complain much.

Friday (20th) I had work then I went home and spent my evening with Scarlett. We didn’t go to nans this week. We stayed home. We watched a film. We watched The Incredibles. She really enjoyed it. But she was tired and went straight to bed afterwards. I caught up with some TV.

Saturday (21st) she had the last ballet class of the school year before they shut for the summer holidays. They had a rectical. Luckily she remembered some stuff and she had fun. After ballet we got on the train to see Brett. He was at work so his mom picked us up and we had some lunch then Scarlett went down for a nap. I fell asleep. Brett had got home by the time we’d woke up. He got washed and dressed. We were going to the cinema at 7:30. When we got there and tried to get tickets there was only a few left and they were dotted around the seats. So we agreed we’d see the later showing of 9:55. We bought the tickets then we went next door to the bowling alley. We played two games and I won both. Somehow. I’m actually shite at bowling but I beat him lol he didn’t like that. Being beaten by someone who’s good is fine but being whooped by someone shite is bad lol

After bowling we went to Frankie and Benny’s for drinks. I had 2 cocktails, woo woo. He had JD and coke. Then we went for a wander. Ended up in IKEA which was sweltering hot.

Eventually the film started. We watched The Incredibles 2. It was fab. I thoroughly enjoyed it. The only downer was the dickheads sat next to us. I swear they were high as kites or something. Because 1) they couldn’t stop fucking munching and 2) they kept making dumb AF comments about the movie and plot and I was like in my head going “OMG STFU you dumbasses”!

We got home about half 12 and went to bed. I had a headache. Too much alcohol in this heat I guess.

Sunday (22nd) we got up and tried not to cook like bacon in a pan. We had a BBQ at 3:30 then we got the train at 6. Mom picked us up the other end and dropped us home. It was nice to be home but my god was it hot!

Monday (23rd) was hot. I had no fan on my desk and the office was just humid. I never usually sweat at work but our office has no air, no breeze, no nothing. So I asked reception if they’d replace the fan I use to have in my old office as it was stolen. They said yes. But I had to wait for it to be delivered. No worries. My friend from over there snuck me over this little USB fan to use. It was ok I guess.

Tuesday (24th) my fan arrived but it required a screwdriver to put it together so I had to make do with my little fan.

Wednesday (25th) I brought my screwdrivers in and put my fan together. Yay I could use it! Omg the difference between the two fans is so obvious. I mean size wise it is anyway. But breeze wise, deffo!

I discovered that my bra had been rubbing so badly it had made underneath my boobs red raw. And the skin was peeling. It was hurting bad. So I decided I’d not wear any underwired bras for a few days. Easier said than done when you’ve got boobs as big as mine (38G).

Today (26th) I wore a nursing bra to work. It’s non-wired and so soft. I was concerned my fan blowing at me would make my nipples stick out but it’s so warm in general they didn’t lol my shoe fell apart and I had a headache all day. It’s this heat it’s mentally draining.

I’ve learned a lot more at work this week. I’ve finally got access to 2 more systems so I’m able to raise POs and stuff. Yay! I’m not sure how keen I am on the job. It’s very hectic and I’m not use to the way they do stuff compared to my old job. But we’ll see what happens.

Scarlett and I had a bath when we got home tonight. Then she helped me do the washing then we watched Emmerdale. Then she helped me eat my dinner before she finally went to bed at 9ish. It’s too hot to sleep but she manages it!!! I watched some more Elementary then I got into bed at 10. I was waiting for some washing to finish then I could go to sleep but it’s too hot! When is the winter coming!!!!!!!!!

It’s my birthday in 23 days. 3 weeks. That’s crazy. Once’s it’s done I’d like winter to come please. I’m baking and I don’t like it.


The cast of “A Bugs Life” love my flat

Friday mom and I picked up Scarlett from nursery then we swung by the station to pick Brett up. Scarlett was so excited to see him. When we got in he did her bath whilst I cooked dinner. We ate and Scarlett tried to “help” us. We watched some TV then we put her to bed.

We caught up on all his stories from his holiday and he showed me all the pictures and videos. We carried on watching Prison Break. We tried not to go to bed too late as we knew we had to be up early-ish Saturday.

Saturday I woke up at 8ish. Scarlett was awake. I let her out of her bedroom. I tried to wake Brett. It took 45 minutes for him to get his ass moving. He really hates waking up, and being woken up. We left for dance class at 9ish. Scarlett did brilliantly. Brett watched her through the window and he was so proud of her. After dance we went into town. I needed to get a Father’s Day card for both Brett and my Dad plus do some food shopping. So we went to Poppins Cafe so Brett could have breakfast [Scarlett had some toast even though she’d already eaten]. We then hit the card factory before heading to Sainsburys. After shopping we went home and stayed home. Neither of us has any money so we had a chill afternoon/evening at home.

Sunday we got up at 8ish. I did Scarlett some breakfast then when she was done I made Brett some toast and we took his present and card to him in bed, to open. He was pleased with his gift and Scarlett was all over him like a rash because he had toast lol #fathersday

We got picked up at quarter to 10. We missed the 09:59 train by mere seconds so we had to wait another hour. Scarlett was very well behaved, thankfully, as we hadn’t brought the stroller. We saw my brother’s fiancé Nat on the opposite platform. As we had so long to wait Brett took Scarlett over the bridge to say Hi as she loves her “Nat Nat”. We got on the train at 11 and after changing at Basingstoke we got to Dad’s just before 12. He picked us up.

We had some lunch then Scarlett went with my step-mom to walk the dogs and Brett and I went shopping with my Dad. Child-free shopping. Like for reals! Then we had a costa. A child-free costa. It was nice spending adult time with Dad, and Brett. They’re like two bloody peas in a pod TBH. After shopping and costa we went back to Dad’s. Scarlett had had a lovely time and didn’t seem to miss us much lol we had a self serve BBQ buffet style dinner and the steak was DELICIOUS.

We got on the train at 6:11 and were off the other end at 7. We waited half hour for a taxi [no buses that late] and eventually got home at 7:45. Brett bathed Scarlett and she went to bed about half 8. We watched some more Prison Break and then we realised it was super late so we got into bed. It was like 12:30 and I noticed a bloody spider hanging from my ceiling so Brett had to get up and get rid of it. We had just laid back down and this massive black winged thing came flying over our heads and smacked into the same place where the spider was dangling before. Brett spent 10 minutes chasing it around the bedroom with a rolled up magazine. I just stood outside the bedroom panicking lol we eventually laid back down at 1:30 and he went straight to sleep. I laid there for a while hoping nothing else came wandering in.

Today I got up at 7 and sorted me and Scarlett. I kissed Brett’s head goodbye and left. I whatsapped him to say there is bread for toast and to help himself. Otherwise he doesn’t eat anything lol bless him. Watching another episode of The Killing on lunch. I love it!

IMG_0350This picture says a lot. She absolutely loves the bones of him. She copies his every little trait and quirk. She asks about him every day. He is the best King to raise our Princess and I am forever grateful that he loves her the way he does, it’s not easy raising another man’s child. But for him, and me, she IS his child. He wipes her tears away, he magic kisses her sore knee, reads her bedtime stories, gives her a bath, washes her hair, changes her nappy, dresses her, puts her hair up and so much more. That’s what being a Dad is all about.

We love you baby, Happy Father’s Day.


Waiting to hear from the estate agent

Thursday I viewed both properties. The first one, the one in Anglesey Avenue, was brilliant. I liked it immediately. The second one was alright but not a fave. I asked if I could put myself forward for the first one. I signed the forms and that was it. I went back to work.

I was called by the agent who explained that as there was 2 offers it had been down to the landlord to make a choice. He had been unable and wanted to meet each prospective tenant. So I agreed to meet him at 5:30 Friday at the estate agents office. Not ideal as I get the train to Brett’s at 5:15 so we’d be a bit later than usual.

I watched Death in Paradise then I packed our stuff for the weekend at Brett’s house.

Friday I went to work like normal. Was a slow day. I felt really drained and it seemed to drag. I met my mom for lunch. We went to Poppins in town. At 5 she picked me up from work and we drove to Bridges office in Frimley. We were early so we sat inside waiting. Scarlett did a poo so mom took her back to the car to sort her. The landlord turned up and we went into a meeting room to have a chat. He seems very nice and is a seasoned landlord so he knows what he’s doing. He asked me things my age, Scarlett’s age, do I work, where do I work, where I’m from, where I live and how long for, any pets, what do I want from life, long term goals, what I thought of the property etc. We parted ways at 6 and thankfully we got on the 6:15 train and were at Hackbridge for 7:45. We grabbed McDonald’s on our way from the station. Scarlett went to bed at 10ish.

Saturday she woke up at 7ish. I got up with her. Did her some toast and a cup of tea. I dressed her and she went shopping at 10 with Brett’s mom. I used my free time to get dressed and chill out. Brett was up by then. We discussed the cinema. When they got back from shopping we walked down the road to Asda. We had lunch then we wandered around. I bought myself some new bras and knickers as well as a new top plus I got Scarlett a new book, new sandals for summer and socks.

We walked back home. Scarlett fell asleep on the walk home so we left her in the stroller in the hallway. I was shattered so I laid on Brett’s bed then fell asleep for like 45 minutes. He woke me up throwing my slipper at me. Not sure why he has to be such a knob. I was clearly tired as I never fall asleep in the day and he woke up just to tell me I was snoring. Twat!

When she was up we played then at 7 I cooked us some dinner. Brett had a bad head so he’d gone to lay down. The meds kicked in and he was ok just as I dished up dinner so we ate together. She had her yoghurt for pudding. Brett got in the bath and then we got ready to head out. We got to the cinema at 8:35. As usual we were late because we were waiting for Brett. Luckily films don’t start for 20 minutes. We queued up to get tickets. Usually we do this online but I have a vue gift card as a Christmas present which you have to activate at the cinema. So we got tickets and drinks then went to find our seats. We watched Den of Thieves. It was actually quite good. It finished at 11:15 and we waited to be picked up.I was tired as I’d been in the cinema without my glasses so my eyes felt strained. I laid in bed and waited for Brett to go to sleep. I can block out his snoring but he can’t mine, so I have to wait for him to fuck off to sleep lol

Sunday (today) Scarlett woke up at 7 again. I took her into the lounge for some breakfast. She ate whilst we watched a film. I put on Moana. It’s actually a really lovely film and she watched about 60-70% of it. We went in at 9:30 to wake Brett up. He never wants to get up. And Scarlett whacking him in the balls by accident didn’t help. We left him to it and about 15 minutes later he came out of the bedroom. We watched the Winter Olympics. Scarlett played and followed Scott around. The dog tried to sit on Scott’s lap and when Scarlett noticed she got very annoyed. She said “no buster, move. My Scott”. It was very funny.

We didn’t stay for dinner today. I wanted to get home. So we had sandwiches at 1pm then we left at 2:30pm to catch the 2:53 train. As usual we were late leaving. We got there and the lift wasn’t working so Brett carried everything up the stairs. Then I went to use the platform lift and it was taking too long that the train pulled up so I stood at the top of the stairs with the stroller and my weekend bag trying to figure it out. A guy offered to help so between us we managed and we ran for the train. We made it!

We got off at Clapham junction 6 minutes later then after a 15 minute wait, we got back on a train for Home. At 4pm we arrived and my nan picked us up. We went back to hers instead of Home as Scarlett wanted to see Grandad, and Marley. We had a cup of tea then we walked home at 5:30pm.

We had soup and bread for dinner. She loves soup. She actually spooned some of my soup into her bowl. Greedy! She had a yoghurt after then I took her up for a bath. I ended up in the bath with her. I washed my hair under the shower then we got out. At 7:30 I made her bottle then we settled to watch some Dancing on Ice. She loves it. She watches so intently then when they finish she sits up properly and claps. It’s the cutest thing. I took her up to bed at 8:15 and she went straight to sleep. I watched the first episode of Requiem. Very odd. Not sure my mom would cope watching it alone, she’s a wimp. I went up to bed at 10:30. I’m just laid here now. May read a bit of my book (first book of 2018) then go to sleep.

It’s shrove Tuesday this week (pancakes) then Valentine’s Day Wednesday. Brett and I are spending a night away Saturday. Should be fun. We’re going to watch 50 shades freed.


Christmas Eve 2017

Friday was my last day at work. I worked really hard to finish everything I could before I left at 1pm. My mom picked me up at 1 and we went to my Nan’s for lunch. We left there to go to Costco as I needed to pick up a few items. We grabbed what I needed and I picked 2 items for my mom to wrap up for me as she had no idea what to get me. After Costco we dropped my Nan back home then mom and I went to Morrison’s so I could get some stocking fillers for Scarlett. We dropped it all home and had a quick cuppa then we headed back out to pick Brett up from the station. Then we went to pick up Scarlett. She was so happy to see him there. She ran over and gave him a big hug. She looked at me like I was shady though. As I NEVER pick her up. Neither does he. But apparently I’m the one she was confused about lol

We got home and she played. We opened our gifts from him. He opened ours. He took her up for a bath then he put her to bed. She didn’t go to sleep straight away. We could hear her singing to herself an hour later.

We ordered Pizzahut then we climbed into bed and watched a film. I made him watch Burlesque. He enjoyed it surprisingly.

Saturday Scarlett woke up at 9am which was a lovely lay in. I left her in my bed with Brett whilst I made her bottle. She drank it then we went downstairs. I did her some breakfast then she played. We watched some Postman Pat. Brett took her up for a nap at 11:15. She didn’t wake until almost 2pm. When she was up we got dressed and went to my nan’s. I made some lunch and she played with her cousins. My uncle was painting his girl’s nails and Scarlett was watching. She seemed really intrigued. When his youngest stood up from the stool, she sat down in her place and put her hands on the table ready. It was adorable. So he painted her nails for her and surprisingly she sat still for him to do it. She then went around showing off her nails. It was just so funny.

We had dinner there and then went home at 6:45. Brett bathed Scarlett and then he went to my nans to pick up his hoodie. He had left it there. I did Scarlett’s bottle whilst he was gone then when he was back I took her up to bed. She was tired.

My mom went to work at 8:45. It was just me and Brett. We were watching a film on TV. I went up for a shower then we had our much needed chat about the future. We’ve decided we want to give our relationship another go. We have things we want from each other and things we should/need to work on. We have wishes for 2018. I have personal goals. So does he. One thing we agree on is less rowing. I mean, who likes to row anyway!

He went up and had a shower. I put NCIS on in bed and we watched some. He fell asleep at 1am. I switched the TV off at 2am and went to sleep myself.

Today it is Christmas Eve! Like for real, Christmas Eve. I heard Scarlett at 8am but she didn’t whinge to get up so I left her and she went back to sleep. So did I. She woke up at 10am. What a babe! She had her bottle in bed with us and we played silly games then we went downstairs. We had some breakfast. She had tea, toast and banana. The usual. She went up for a nap at about half 11. We got into bed with the TV on as it was cold downstairs and we didn’t need to do anything. We could chill. It was nice. We went downstairs at half 12 and I stuck some tv on. I made us lunch at 1ish. Brett went up and woke Scarlett up at 2. She had some lunch. Though she didn’t eat much of it. She opened her Christmas Eve Box. She got a book (‘Twas the night before Christmas), underwater bath lights, a note pad and crayons, a Christmas dvd (Arthur Christmas) and some pyjamas.

Before she’d woken up we had decided that me and her would spend Christmas at his. We hadn’t planned to. I was happy to be at home. But I just sat there thinking about him going home and how we aren’t even celebrating Christmas at ours until the 27th and it just made no sense to stay home. So I packed some bits and picked a few presents for Scarlett to open, and grabbed the items I had bought for his family then we got in the car. My mom dropped us as the station at 4:30. We got on the train and finally got to his area at 5:45.

Scarlett was tired and a bit shy at first. Like usual. But she soon jumped all over Scott and Nanny. She had a bath and then we had some dinner. She didn’t eat much. She played a bit then at 8:45 I did her bottle then at 9 Brett took her to bed. I’m thankful she doesn’t understand Christmas yet. Imagine trying to convince a 3/4 year old that they have to go to bed because santa is coming!

We’re just watching some film on TV and enjoying the fact we haven’t got any presents to wrap etc.

Merry Christmas all …


Not how I expected my weekend to go

Friday was a nightmare at work. My temp, who use to give me a lift, said she wasn’t coming back on Monday. One of the managers had upset her and she didn’t want to work in a place where people are rude to each other. She was furious in the afternoon. I half expected her to up and leave there and then. I think she would’ve if she’d had her car but her husband had borrowed it because his was in the garage.

We were due to go to Brett’s house. Normally I check the trains ahead of time but I left it until 3pm. When I looked it said there were delays my end of the tracks until 5-6pm and his end there was a lot of cancelled trains due to an issue at East Croydon. So I thought we could go at 7pm as the was a train at 7 that looked like it was the usual 1 connection, 1 hour 15 minutes route. But when I got in from work, I realised it would be far too cold, far too late and far too dark to be dragging my toddler on the train. So I told Brett that I’d decided not to come due to the reasons above. I anticipated he’d have the hump but what happened was beyond anything I expected. He was utterly vile to me. Basically insulted my parenting skills by trying to say that taking her to watch a 15 minutes fireworks display in a mild November is the same as a 90 minute December journey at 7pm at night on a Friday after being at Nursery all day. And said I must be such a good mom for taking her to see fireworks (in the dark and cold) but not taking her on a train. Also said I traumatised her by taking her to see Santa. Oh and brought up the one time recently when she was walking underneath me when I was carrying something. I didn’t see her, I turned and my knee knocked her over and she hit her head on the doorframe. Like it was an accident. They happen from time to time. I didn’t mean to hurt her and I felt awful when she was upset. I picked her up and gave her a cuddle. That’s what moms do. I frequently pick her up and cuddle her.

Anyway, he was just horrible to me and I realised that I just don’t need or want him in my life (or Scarlett’s) anymore. So I blocked him for some peace then later I messaged him to say I can’t be with him anymore. I don’t love him in the same way as I used to. I’m not coming for Christmas. And please don’t harass me to get me back or try emotional blackmail like you usually do. I then blocked him again. I was up till almost 3am chatting to my bestie. She had a lot of support and advice to give on leaving a shitty relationship.

Saturday he tried to call me at some point in the morning as I had a voicemail. I only listened to a few seconds before deleting it.

Scarlett got up at 9. She had her bottle and we read some of her new books. She asked for breakfast. I asked her what she wanted, cereal or toast? She said toast. I said tea too? She said yeah! She’s so funny. So she had tea, toast and banana. I waited to eat with my mom as she was going to cook breakfast. We ate at 10:30. Scarlett had some sausage then I put her up for a nap at 11:15. I went up and got in bed because I was so cold and I had a headache. I fell asleep and woke up at 1:30. Then Scarlett woke. I dressed her then I finished putting addresses on the presents I needed to send.

Mom drove me to the post office so I could mail everything. I mailed all my gifts except my Australian secret santa. It was going to cost me £88 to send a £30 gift lol so I decided to try a different postal service. We went into town so I could get a refund on the PS4 Pro I bought Brett for Christmas. So I’m now £300 richer. Which is great because I have Scarlett’s 2nd cake smash to pay for in January as well as her birthday party.

After Argos we went to my nan’s. She had a full house. Everyone was there. We stayed for a few cups of tea. Scarlett had lunch when we first got there. We left at 5. I ordered a Chinese whilst we were watching Madagascar. It took over an hour to come. Scarlett was proper hangry. We ate then I took her up for a bath. I ended up bathing with her. We got our and got dressed. I did her bottle then she said goodnight to everyone as my mom was going to work and so was my brother. I took her up at 9:15 for bed. She was flat out within 15 minutes.

I was watching Grimm on Netflix when the bloody door knocked. I knew who it was. No way was I answering. I have nothing to say to him. I thought I’d made myself pretty clear in my message the night before. I ignored the door. But he knocked twice more. The light in our kitchen was on so I knew he’d see me if I darted upstairs to look out the window. I stood in the doorway and he must’ve sense it because I heard him say something about “come on just answer the door”. I ran upstairs to tell my brother girlfriend not to open the door. Not that she would have. It’s late.

I came back down and he spoke to me through the letterbox. Said he wanted to talk so could I at least open the door. I said no. It won’t change anything. I’m done. I can’t do this anymore. He said he wants to try and he’s listening. I said why listen now. You’ve had almost 2 years. We’re not the same as we were. It’s finished. He got a bit angry and slammed the letterbox. I thought he was gone so sat down but he came back and called my name. So I said what? He said so this is it? You want me to go? I said Yes that’s what I’ve been saying. He said he was sorry it got to this point and sorry we couldn’t work it out. He said he hopes I have a good Christmas and I look after Scarlett then he slammed the letterbox and went. Me and my brother’s girlfriend sat in the front room for a while, expecting him to knock again. But he didn’t. We chatted a bit and then I carried on watching Grimm.

I’m in bed now. Going to have a lazy day tomorrow. I just want to relax and have a laugh with my baby girl. She’s all that matters to me.