Alpro ice cream

Wednesday 21st:

My cousins baby was born at 10:01am. He weighed 8 lb 14 oz. And he is gorgeous. He has quite a bit of dark hair. So glad he arrived safely. They named him Parker Harry James.

Thursday 22nd:

Scarlett’s passport came through the mail today. I’m so excited for our holiday now. I was worried the passport people would reject it due to her picture or something but thankfully they are more lenient with under 2s. We are now checked in for our flights online. I needed all of our passport numbers to do. And I have!!!!

My mom dated a guy the year after my step-dad left her. And he cheated on her for 4 months before they split. He denied this. But we know it’s true. Anyway he and my mom always stayed in contact as friends. He was told by his new missus he can’t be friends with my mom. Insecure much? This breeds from being “the other woman” to a guy who cheated WITH YOU. And many times she removed my moms number from this guys phone. Talk about controlling. But whatevs! This woman he cheated with became his partner from the moment they met all the way up till now. Well this woman’s daughter called my mom up and accused my mom off sleeping with him. As my mom pointed out, 1) she’s in a very happy relationship, 2) he cheated on her so why the F would she want his ass back and 3) how the F would any of their menial “hello how are you” texts ever convey there was anything untoward going on. She said all this and basically told the girl to fuck off. She told me and I sent her ex (from 8 fucking years ago, like for real who even cares about people from that long ago) a shitty message telling him to get his fucking women under control and stop dragging my mom into his BS. I told him that he knows he’s not suppose to be friends with my mom and because he failed to do as he’s fucking told she’s now been on the receiving end of some shitty outburst.

It’s gets better. He never responded. Surprise! Not! Turns out it’s their Wedding Day on Saturday. That woman would be stupid to marry him. She knows he’s a cheater and she clearly thinks he still does so why marry him.

Friday 23rd:

For the first time in ages it was just me and my mom. No men. Oh, and Scarlett, obviously. So we put her to bed, grabbed some alcohol and watched a film. It was nice.

Her new high chair came today. I think she likes it!!

Saturday 24th:

Scarlett had her first swimming lesson at 12. We arrived at 10 to 12. I was already in my swim stuff so I just had to sort her into her swim suit. I had bought her a neoprene nappy cover and a neoprene all-in-one to stop her getting cold. She did really well. She let the instructor take her around the pool for a minute without me. She walked on a float before holding my hands and sliding into the water. She kicked. She waved her arms to move the water in a motion. We sang songs. Overall it was good. I was really proud of her. I made the rookie mistake of not checking my bag before we left. I left my bra behind. So we popped home so I could dump the wet swimming gear and grab my bra then we headed to Morrisons. We had some lunch then we did some shopping. We went home and chilled. Scarlett was tired so I put her down for a nap at 3:30 and I kind of fell asleep myself. I rarely do that. Even when she was a proper baby I didn’t nap often. She went to bed at 8:30. She’s so funny. She kept playing silly games with my hair. She likes it when it’s wet from the shower (no idea why).

We watched two movies. Bad Moms and Mother’s Day. It was nice just the two of us. I think I went to bed about 1ish.

Sunday 25th (today):

Scarlett woke up at 7ish. Gave her a bottle at 7:30 thinking she’d go back to sleep for a bit but after half hour of her rolling around she got up and whinged so we went downstairs. She had her breakfast – some fruit and a choc-au-pain then she got dressed. Mom did us some breakfast then we got dressed. We had to head to Morrisons for a cooked chicken as nan had planned for 3 of my uncle’s kids to have dinner with us so she needed more meat. We got one and then went to my Nan’s house. Scarlett was asleep when I got her out of the car so I went straight in and laid her in the stroller in the hallway. She needs her afternoon nap. She slept through Sunday dinner and woke up just after we ate so I got her out and put her in the high chair. She ate her dinner then she had pudding. My nan had managed to get some Alpro Soya ice cream. She had her first taste and she loved it. She ate the ice cream AND the cornetto too!

After we had dinner we had a cup of tea and let our dinner go down then we took her to King George V park. Her first ever trip to a park. She’s been in parks as a baby baby. But they didn’t count as she wasn’t walking etc. She loved it. She went down the slides and in the swings. She climbed EVERYTHING! We had a good time then we headed back for another cuppa then home.

I did her some supper at 6ish. She had some fruit and a slice of bread with butter. She’s like me in so many ways, it’s weird but kind of exciting. She had a bath and then for a change Nanny put her to bed. She went straight down. We stuck on a movie after having some supper ourselves. We watched The DUFF. Mom hadn’t seen it.  I love it!

I’ve just got into bed. I’m not tired. I had my first energy drink today in 8 weeks. My mom bought 2. I think she forgot I don’t drink them. Tbh neither does she now. We’ve both stopped. I quit cold turkey. She has the occasional one. I think I won’t be able I sleep tonight now!!!

Back to work tomorrow. I only have 5 days then I’m off on holiday July 3rd. I can’t wait. It should be good fun. Brett and I are taking Scarlett to Hastings for the week.

Just over 6 weeks till we go to Italy!!!!!!!


Sunday blues

Thursday 8th:

So we voted. Both myself and mom voted the same. Not because we copied. That’s silly. And totally not how thing should be. We voted the same because we believed in the same things. Not that it did us much good because the election ended with a hung parliament. It’s not all bad. But it’s not good either because we didn’t get enough seats for our party so god knows what happens next. A coalition perhaps?

My little brother was 14 today. 14! Where has that gone? I remember when he was a baby. I use to pick him up for a cuddle and play silly games with him. Now he’s 2 years into teenage-hood. What!?

Friday 9th:

I had a long day at work. I felt so tired. I usually get to Thursday/Friday and feel exhausted. It’s this energy-free life. It’s just not compatible with my brain lol but nonetheless I gave up energy drinks about 6 weeks ago and I haven’t died, yet, so I can’t quit now lol

I decided I didn’t want to spend another Friday at home doing nothing so I bathed Scarlett, got her into her pyjamas and slippers then we headed to my nan’s house. She usually entertains on a Friday as her brother and his other half always come over for a cuppa tea and a chat. We ended up getting home for 9:30 and Scarlett went to bed at 10pm, 3 hours past her bedtime. She did really well. She only started to complain when it got to 9ish and she was REALLY tired!

She wasn’t feeling very well in the night. She woke up with a fever (teething I think) so I had to give her calpol, teething gel and a bottle. She was up from 3am until almost 6am. She eventually settled.

Saturday 10th:

She woke up at 8ish but didn’t stir fully and ended up going back to sleep. So did I. And eventually we surfaced at 10:30am. I don’t think she was right as rain yet because she got up and had breakfast then she cried to go back to bed so I gave her more calpol and put her back down at 12. She slept until 3pm. When she woke up she seemed much happier. We went out for dinner with my mom at 4:30 then did a quick food shop before heading home as mom had work. Scarlett was in bed by 7:30. Didn’t hear much from her except some coughing. Bless her!!!

Sunday (today):

She woke up at 8ish. She had a bottle then a bit later she had some breakfast with a cup of tea. She couldn’t get any more like my family if she tried lol I put her back down for a nap about 10ish. She slept until almost 12. Then we headed to my nan’s. I let her walk. No stroller! She did really well considering the distance and her short legs. Originally we weren’t going for dinner. But we ended up having dinner, pudding and after her playing in and out the garden all day, we went home at 6ish. She had a bath then she watched teletubbies. Then I made her a bottle at 7 and down she went. I heard her cough a bit but she’s alright.

I have been binge watching NCIS lately. I love it. I’m officially following season 7 (having seen the previous seasons in sequential order) but I dipped into season 9 tonight, the finale, after catching 2 episodes previous to it that were good.

I’m also reading. I’m still reading Limitless but I’m 70-something percent done so yay!

Work tomorrow. I bet the week drags balls. And I bet the weather outside our office window all week is blue skies and sunshine lol


Omg! Spa day

Omg spa day! It was fab. I had a McDonald’s breakfast to set me off then I settled in for my treatments. I had an hour long Indian head message at 10am followed by an hour long full body massage then I had a half hour break where I relaxed in the relaxation room with some water. Then I had a half hour facial. I felt so serene when I left at 1pm.

I came home and caught up with supernatural and laid in bed being totally lazy until I had to go and pick Scarlett up from nursery at 4:30!!! I missed her but it WAS so lovely to have a little “me” time.

Saturday we didn’t go to Stratford in the end. I had a nasty headache and Scarlett didn’t feel very well. She slept basically all day and it was obviously much needed and she wouldn’t have been able to do that at a party, so then she would have been a nightmare later on. I apologied to my friend and said I’d post little man’s presents in the week. My BMF went to the party. I saw her snapchats and I was sad to have missed out but ya gotta do what ya gotta do.

Scarlett did some steps. Finally. I was super excited (you can tell in the video lol)

Sunday we had dinner at my nan’s house but she had a full house so we didn’t stay as long as usual. She dished up for 18 people. That was 8 kids and 10 adults. Too hectic! I washed up then we went home. 

Monday I woke up so late, mom was late in from work in the morning to pick us up and her car had trouble because the inside was frozen due to the water leak she’s had. Total nightmare. I got to work 15 minutes late and just felt like I shouldn’t have even got up. Anyone else would have a baby who wakes up at 6am and can be used as an alarm but not me. I have a kid who sleeps mostly till I wake her. Lazy cow! I was in a foul mood all day and I have no idea why. I just felt so irritable!
Today was a better day. I’m thankful that I’m busy at work because it means I don’t spend a lot of time thinking and overthinking. I’m really struggling with the fact I cannot afford to move out yet. I really need to. It’s affecting me mentally and emotionally because I don’t feel in control of my own child’s life, because we are effectively living in “someone else’s” house. All I can do is save, save, save.

Scarlett went to bed at 7:15. She woke up about 12:20. Her eczema is bad and her leg is hurting her so I changed her nappy and re-creamed her sore leg then put her back down. She laid down but kept sitting up so I got her back out and decided she may be hungry so I got some antibiotics down her and then she had a 5oz bottle. She drained it flat and has been laying in her cot talking to herself and playing with her TedTed. I can’t sleep whilst she’s awake so tomorrow will be fun when I’m knackered lol

She’s gone quiet, I think!


9 months

Well the weekend wasn’t half bad except for kind of arguing with my dad about the situation with Harry plus Brett and I constantly back and forth about it as well.

Saturday me and Scarlett got the train down to my dad’s. We stayed at theirs till lunch. Scarlett was playing on the floor with everyone. Then we put her in the stroller and walked to the pub down the road for dinner. I had a delicious grilled chicken burger with chips. I had cheesy garlic for a starter and I shared with Scarlett. She loves cheese, and garlic it seems. We walked back to dad’s. My stepmom, my sister and me wanted to pop to town so we left Scarlett with my dad and off we went. We went into H&M and I got her this lush navy blue sparkly dress. I am thinking she can either wear on Christmas day or her birthday. It is lovely. I also got her a pair of fur lined boots. They are too big but she’ll wear them once she is walking. My stepmom got her 3 different grey jumpers and some gloves.

We got the train home at 5:20pm. Mom picked us up the other end and we went home. Harry and I agreed to meet Sunday lunch time instead of next Sunday as we were both free. I wanted to get it out of the way for 2 reasons.

  1. I couldn’t bear waiting. The anxiety in my stomach over it was driving me insane
  2. I needed to know if we could be in the same room as each other and it not be awkward. We hadn’t been face-to-face in 18 months, since the night Scarlett was conceived. So I had no idea what it would be like to see him.

Sunday I got up with Scarlett. Fed her. She slept a lot. Woke up for porridge. Had a little play. She was due a feed at 12ish so I fed her then she napped. She woke up at 1pm when Harry turned up. I could tell he wanted to play with her but (appreciatively) he asked me first if he could. He sat on the floor with her, playing. She was climbing all over him, giggling etc. I needed the loo so I nipped upstairs quickly. She usually would whinge if I left her but she didn’t. She just carried on playing. That was nice.

He came with some gifts. He bought her a multicolored cardigan (it is lush) and some velvety trousers. He and I chatted. A bit about the past but also about what we expect from the future. He picked her up and she sat with him. I took a few pictures. Mostly so that she has proof that he did at least see her once, even IF he does decide he doesn’t want to see her again. They are for her memory box.


I am not sure when he will see her next. Maybe the end of the week. We don’t want to overload her so he only stayed for an hour. And next time will only be an hour too.

After he left I walked Scarlett round my nan’s. She was asleep, again, so I left her there so me and Mom could go back to Vodafone to finish upgrading my iPhone. I am getting the iPhone 6S in Rose Gold, 32GB with 5GB of data and unlimited texts and calls. I can’t wait for that and my iPad to be delivered to store.

Yesterday (Monday) Scarlett was 39 weeks. She is so sassy. She loves waving at people and giggling. She is teething I think. Officially. As her butt is red raw and she cried when I wiped her when she had a dirty nappy. My poor baby. She had a salty bath to help keep it clean and heal better.

She had me up at 3am because she had pooped in the night and she was sore. After I changed her I put her in my bed to sleep with me. She slept till 5:30am then was up. She wouldn’t go back to sleep lol

Today my little princess is 39 weeks plus 1 day, which is precisely how far I was when she was yanked from my uterus after 2 days of induced early labour. She is also 9 months!!! I have a 5 inch scar and more stretch marks than before but I wouldn’t change any of that. She is my world. I love to show her off but at the same time I hate sharing her. Although that said, I share her with Brett already and we manage. I think we can safely figure out how to share her with Harry and his family too.


Harry is coming round tomorrow evening. Not sure what time but obviously it’ll be between 5:30 and 8 as she usually gets ready for bed no later than 8.

Brett is coming down this weekend and Scarlett is having her 9 month pictures done. I want some of me and her, some of her on her own and some of us 3 together. Maybe I shouldn’t do that because “he’s not her dad” but tough shit. He and I are in this for the long haul. We’ve had little wobbles, and big ones, but all that matters is we love each other. And he’s been the constant male figure in her life since she was 10 weeks old. To her, he IS daddy. And he still will be. She’ll just be lucky like I was and have 2.


4 days to go

Today Scarlett and I were going to visit Virginia water with my grandparents, my nan’s brother and sister-in-law. We got 2 minutes away in the car and my uncles car decided to break. He said his brakes were going. He could feel it. Then he tried to brake and it took a lot of skill to slow down. I think he used his gears. We pulled over in a lay by and he got out to check. He said we’ll have to go back. So he drove super slowly home. That put a stop to our walk lol we agreed we’d still go out for dinner so he drove his car to his house and then picked up his missus’ car and met us at the new beefeater in town. It was after mom finished work so she came to my nan’s and us 5 squeezed in my nan’s car.

We had a nice meal. I can’t complain with my food. I had garlic flat bread to share with mom. It was delish. I do love garlic!!! My steak was exactly as ordered and chips were tasty.

After we ate we paid and then mom and I went home. Mom went for a nap as she’s working tonight and I sat downstairs with Scarlett watching tele. I fed her a bottle then she had a nap. After her nap I put her in her new pop up play pen whilst I did some stuff then I fed her some dinner. She played a bit more then I took her up for a bath. She loves having a bath. She started getting tired so I made her last bottle but she only drank a couple of ounces so I laid her in her cot and she’s fast asleep.

I’m currently in the bath. My hair needs washing a few times this week to let the hair dye run a bit so it’s not as bright and obvious lol plus I want to try out the expensive hair stuff I treated myself to at the salon yesterday.

Today Scarlett is 28 weeks and 6 days. Here is her comparison picture of her 4D scan at 28 weeks 6 days.

Mom and I are going to go into town tomorrow for lunch then we are going to take Scarlett to soft play for a little bit, providing it’s not too busy. If it’s busy I’ll give it a miss.

I’m going to just chill tonight. Maybe stick a film on or whatever.

4 days to go till I’m 25!!!



Friday we got up. Grandad took us to town so I could run errands. Then we went to Morrison’s to meet Nan for the usual weekly shop. At 1:30pm my grandad packed the car up with groceries and drove home. We stayed so I could get Scarlett weighed. I was way off the mark in my previous post. I said she’d be 13 lb 4 oz. She was 12 lb 11 oz. She’s gained 11 ounces in 6 weeks.

Friday night I ended up having dinner with my Nan. I went home when my Nan went to work at 5 so I could feed and bath Scarlett. Then I got her in her pyjamas and at 7 my Nan picked us up on her way home. I had dinner then I fed Scarlett her bottle. She soon fell asleep and I laid her on the sofa. My Nan dropped us home at 10ish. She woke in the car briefly but I put her in the cot and she went straight back off.

Saturday we went into town with my brother. I had to pay my cheque in the bank for my tax rebate. I finally got it Friday. Then we went for lunch. After lunch I took Scarlett to soft play for the first time. She liked being able to play on the soft floor. She crawled. No joke. She crawled. Only two “steps” but she still did it. She amazes me. She’s come on so much in the last 3-4 weeks. It’s like she’s had a mental leap (which makes sense as the wonder weeks app told me she’d finished leap 5). After soft play we went to my nan’s and had dinner. Scarlett had her dinner at nan’s then Nan cooked ours. We had steak pie and mash. I bathed her and got her ready for bed then my grandad ran us home at 8:45pm. Scarlett was awake but she went straight down and was flat out by 9:15pm. She’s so good!

Today I fed Scarlett her morning bottle then I stripped my bedding and washed it. As my bed was uncovered we chilled in my moms room. She’s away. At 11am my Nan and grandad picked us and we visited my great-Nan at her home. We got back at quarter to one. I fed Scarlett then she had a nap. We had dinner then my Nan ran me up Argos so I could pick up the rucksack I had ordered then we chilled. I walked Scarlett home at 6ish. Fed her some dinner then I took her up for a bath. After she had her bath I passed her to mom so I could re-make my bed and pack our stuff for our busy 2 days away.

Trying chocolate mousse

Trying chocolate mousse

She pulled herself up to stand, from sitting, using my nan’s tshirt lol

I sorted her bottle out at 8:15pm. She drank it straight down and was flat out. I put her in the cot at 9pm and she’s been asleep since.

We are off to Watford tomorrow then we are getting a train to Birmingham and staying in a hotel so we can meet some friends Tuesday then we’ll make our way home. I’m very excited as we are meeting people we’ve never met before but have spoken to on our pregnancy buddy group for a year now. It’s a facebook group so we live video, have swapped our personal facebooks and we know each other very well. One girl I’m meeting Tuesday, her daughter was born 2 hours after Scarlett. So that’ll be nice, for the #birthdaybuddies to meet, finally.

I’m in bed watching tele and missing Brett. I only saw him 2 weeks ago but it feels longer.

Period is officially 25 days late now. Hormones are so out of whack. I have my first ever smear test on Wednesday. It’s a “welcome to being 25” haha


Another Sunday

Well Saturday I managed to wrangle an emergency dentist appointment for 9:45am so I walked to my nan’s to drop Scarlett off then my grandad dropped me in town. I got seen straight away. Dentist says it looks infected so she cleaned under the gum (barely even blinked at that because the pain was not much more than normal). Then she prescribed antibiotics. Problem solved. Ish. So I popped to sainsburys to put my prescription in and whilst waiting around I had a wander. They were doing 2 for £4 on a bunch of baby clothes so I got Scarlett a load of 6-9m stuff. She’ll probably fit in it when she’s a year old lol my antibiotics were ready so I picked them up and jumped on the bus. Overall I only left Scarlett for an hour. I need to start spending more time apart from her. Not because I need the space but because it’s healthy for both of us. She needs to socialise with others and get use to seeing me less as she’ll have no choice when I’m back at work in October!!!

So we stayed at nan’s all day and I ended up having dinner. Whilst we were eating she started whinging for her dinner so I sat her on my knee and was squeezing the inside out of my chips for her to eat. My Nan gave her some tomato juice from her plate. Once we finished I sorted her dinner then she had a bath. Once she was in her pyjamas we went home.

She is so good. I put her down for bed after her bottle and got in the bath. I watched her on the monitor for only 10 minutes before she nodded off. I finished in the bath and got into bed to watch some Netflix. They’ve created a series of the film franchise Scream so I’ve started watching that. Not entirely sure it’s the best thing to watch so late lol

Today Scarlett woke up at 7:45am. Lovely lay in. We went to my nan’s for a lovely roast beef. The sun came out so we sat in the garden for a bit. Nan did Scarlett some more dinners. She loves them.

We came home and Scarlett was tired so we napped a little. I fed her her dinner (a fresh one from today) then she had a bath because she was messy!!! After her bath she was tired and it wasn’t bedtime nor was she hungry so we laid down and had a nice half hour nap then we went downstairs. I fed her her last bottle for the day and put her down. She wouldn’t settle so I changed her nappy and gave her some teething gel and we went straight down. I love watching her sleep.

I’m in bed watching more scream episodes. I’m tired but it’s getting good.

Brett and I had a row yesterday. It was something silly but it didn’t feel like it at he time. We made up today. Thankfully. I hate it when we fight. And it doesn’t help that my feelings are exacerbated by the fact that I’m in agony with my tooth, I’m tired because of it and I’m also due on my period. Not a great combo lol

Been typing this whilst watching the Scream series. It’s finished now. It wasn’t that bad. I already knew “who dunnit” but was still fun watching it all unfold.

I’m off to sleep now lol it’s late. It’s 1am.