Confessions of a First Time Mum

When you announce you are pregnant every person you know, who has had a child [or a few] pops up to congratulate you. They also start to regale you of all their “wisdom” as seasoned parents. Now don’t get me wrong, sometimes people do have anecdotes of advice that is quite helpful. But mostly they just go for the shock horror factor. One thing they fail to tell you is that ALL BABIES ARE DIFFERENT. What works for one baby may not work for another. One baby may sleep great but not feed brilliantly. Or vice versa. My experience of being a first time mother to a small baby has been interesting. And quite surprising.

I was forewarned by many “seasoned” parents that in the first few months I’d be exhausted. The baby wouldn’t sleep great. I’d struggle to find time to wee let alone shower. I’d forget to eat. And so on the list goes.

Personally, in my own experience, I never had a cold cup of tea. I never not showered for 3 days. I only felt exhausted in the first few days home. And most of that was due to the fact that I had been in hospital since Saturday, awake since Sunday at 7am and had laboured 36 hours before having an emergency c-section. Which then kept me awake on/off the night before I came home, due to the pain/blood/meds etc. By the time we’d been home 3 days I felt more myself and I slept fine.

This is not me saying “everyone listen, it isn’t that bad”. Not at all. I know women who really did not have the time to do those things because they had a baby that needed holding 24/7 or it would scream blue murder. But for me, I had spent months listening to my friends saying “oh it’ll be so tough, you’ll be so tired, and need to shower and the baby will be crying and you’ll just want to lie down.” And for me, personally, I expected that. Yet it wasn’t like that.

I feel blessed because my daughter would sleep in 4 hourly stints which enabled me to sleep 4 hours too. She would feed, poop and then sleep. Over the first few weeks she’d be awake slightly more each day. But even then, she was very happy as a baby. She was fine to be laid in her Moses Basket whilst I went to the toilet. Or I would leave her in her pram. Or in her bouncy chair outside the bathroom whilst I showered [personally I didn’t need to if she was asleep as I’d hear her awake but I was a single parent so she came with me]. By the time she was 6 weeks old she was sleeping 9pm till 6am. And that continued until she started nursery and she then started going to bed at 7pm, and still does now. She goes down [no fuss] at 7pm and wakes up at 7am. I mean, yes, I would categorise her as a “good baby”. She eats brilliantly, she sleeps brilliantly and she is as bright as a button. Also very happy but so cheeky.

My point of the post is that all babies are different, as are all adults . We require different amounts of sleep to function. I function on 5-6 hours. I often don’t go to bed until about 12-1am, get up at 7am for work. Whereas my fiancé needs a solid 10 or he’s miserable and a twat to be around.

Adults also require different “things” to keep them sane, like a monthly/fortnightly date night. A weekly meal with their “girls”, no kids. An evening hour to read a magazine, gossip on the phone or just have a luxurious bath with no kids asking for things.

I fully appreciate that some people have babies that scream all day. Don’t sleep. Won’t eat. Are just genuinely hard work. I know this because my brother was on of them kids. I don’t know how my mother didn’t throttle him lol with a baby like that, it is easy to understand a parent not getting any sleep, not showering as often as they did before and all the chores being left aside because of the baby taking up so much time. And all I have to say to those mothers is get support. You need a break. And you don’t need to feel guilty for dumping the baby on your husband when he arrives from work and hiding in the bedroom or wherever you wanna go. You need to. Don’t worry about the laundry or the dishes. You need to look after you. Because if you burn out, you won’t be any good to your baby.

Another thing we do as parents [that we really shouldn’t] is comparing our baby to everyone else’s. My daughter crawled at 6.5 months and stood up at the furniture a week later. Yet she didn’t actually walk properly until she was 14 months. Everyone thought she’d be walking by Christmas [she’d have been 11 months] but she didn’t. Whereas some of my friend’s babies weren’t crawling until 8/9 months but they went straight into walking by a year. So it really just depends on your baby. I know from nursery that my daughter is on par with everything developmentally for her age range. They update me on a weekly basis [using the Tapestry app] on her new skills and what she gets up to. She was painting last week, with her whole body! lol

I just want every mother out there know that we all got you. You’re having a hard day, feel like you’re failing, you are not! If your kid is fed, watered, clean [give or take their natural ability to get dirty within seconds] and are happy and healthy then you’re doing a job well done. We all have days where we feel like shit, the kid is being an asshole [yes, kids can be assholes] and you just want to finish doing the laundry, wash up the 1 million dirty dishes [who uses that many cups, they just appear] and pee in peace. Chin up. One day you’ll look back and realise you survived. And you’ll have some well-rounded happy kids to show for it.



Touch down

We didn’t go to sleep until late. Scarlett must’ve sensed we were travelling as she wouldn’t go to sleep. Brett packed whilst I showered and she was in the travel cot so he could do it by himself without her interference. Then when he was done, I packed. And she was still going strong at half past midnight!!!Brett told me to wake him in the morning when we needed to leave. So I woke him up at 8am. Although it took him 15-20 minutes to actually get up. I got dressed, packed the few bits I had left because they were needed in the AM and then I woke Scarlett. I dressed her, gave her a bottle and off we went. We dumped the room keys on the reception desk and then left.We walked around the corner to the taxi rank and got a taxi to the airport. We checked in our luggage and then went through to the next part where we had our hand luggage checked. Once this was done we headed to a shop for drinks for the plane. We then went through passport control before heading to the gate.We boarded the plane at 11am and it set off at 11:25am. We touched down in London at 1:10pm. It took us ages to get through passport control. The line was crazy. By the time we got through, our baggage was already waiting. Brett’s suitcase was damaged. The wheel was hanging off. Obviously it got damaged enroute. He was fuming but what can he do?

We jumped on a free shuttle bus with my mom and her friend, to where they had left the car. We loaded up and set off. Scarlett was starving so we stopped at McDonald’s and grabbed some nuggets to tide her over for the journey home.

We went home and dumped our stuff. Scarlett had a little play and we told my mom about our holiday (even though I had spoke to her every day). We then headed to my nan’s house for dinner. We stayed there until my Nan got in (and had a cup of tea) then we went home. Scarlett went to bed and we watched a film. We watched Sherlock Holmes.

I am glad to be home. Italy was great but way too hot. We saw what we wanted to. I tried lots of foods. So did Scarlett. We had some good fun. Just a shame our apartments weren’t that great. The only one we loved was Verona!


April is here!

Saturday 1st:

Scarlett gave me a lovely lay-in. She woke up at 8:30. She had breakfast at 10am and then went back down for a nap. She woke up a midday. We had some lunch then mom got up [she had worked the night before]. We went to my nan’s to pick her up as we were visiting my gran in the old folks home. Scarlett entertained us whilst we were there. She had a chocolate cake and played Giant Connect 4 with my mom. We dropped my nan back home then we picked up my new glasses. After we went food shopping. Scarlett was sat in the trolley touching EVERYTHING we loaded in lol we went home and had some dinner then I put Scarlett to bed.


Sunday 2nd:

She gave me ANOTHER lay-in. What even is this life? She woke up 8:30. Had a bottle. Refused her breakfast and then went back to bed [her request] at 9:30. She then slept until 12:30pm. We had lunch then at 2ish we took a wander over to the park. We took a small picnic [crisps, fruity yoghurt, water etc] and a blanket. We sat on the blanket with some toys for a little while then we packed up and she “walked” up and down the path. She walked so much. We headed back at 3ish and she wanted a bottle and then went back down for another 90 minutes. Not like her at all. She woke up at 5ish. Mom text to say they were on their way home and were going to go for dinner, did we want to come? Yes! But Scarlett got a bit hangry at 6ish so she finished the rest of her spicy tomato crisps to tide her over. My mom picked us up at 7 and we went for dinner with her and her boyfriend. We had a nice meal and Scarlett was in bed by 9ish. We watched Casualty then the new Mrs Brown’s boys TV show. I love it!


I am in bed. Can’t sleep. Have work tomorrow so I should get some shuteye!


Big girl bed


Had my pre-op assessment at 10:45am. Mom watched Scarlett for me. My grandad picked me up at 9:30am and we headed to the hospital. I got there at 10ish. I was mega early but after us getting stuck in traffic the last time we came here, and me almost being late, I didn’t want to chance it. Luckily they weren’t busy and I ended up being seen sooner. I got out at 11am and mom picked me up.

The breathable cot bumpers had come for Scarlett’s cot. As I had already cleared it out and put a fresh sheet on it, I decided she could try it out for the night. If she wasn’t ready I’d know pretty soon as she just wouldn’t settle.

So she had dinner at my nan’s house as we were there for dinner then I bathed her and got her ready for bed. We went home and I settled her for the night. She fell asleep so I laid her in her cot. She stirred twice. She only whinged slightly. No crying. I simply went in and packed her back and she settled just fine. This was at about 9pm and she slept just fine till 8am. I went in to say Hi when I heard she was awake and she was on her front. She gave me the biggest cheesiest grin I’ve ever seen.

She kept turning from each side just because she could lol

As you can see. She was pleased with herself.

Today (Sunday):

We had Sunday lunch at nan’s house. Stayed there until tea time so I fed Scarlett her lovely homemade roast dinner (minus roasted potatoes, hers are mashed, and minus a Yorkshire pud). She loved it. We went home, I bathed her and got her a bottle sorted then we watched the Euro final between Portugal and France. Portugal one in the last 30 minutes of extra time. Shame. I had rooted for France!

She’s in her big girl bed tonight again. Took longer to settle her to sleep as she was fighting it in my arms due to teething, 5 month leap and just pure baby stubbornness lol she went to bed at 10pm. I’ve checked her a few times and the first time she was up the other end of the cot on her front. I moved her down a bit.

I’m going to finish catching up with season 3 of The Originals.


He loves me

I asked Brett about what he was talking to my brother about. He told me he was falling for me. I was surprised he said it. I didn’t think he’d want to admit something like that so soon but I guess it’s best to be upfront.

Wednesday my mom, her friend, my brother, me and Scarlett went to town for lunch. I treated them. We did some shopping. I grabbed a few bits.

In the afternoon mom dropped me at cinema. I watched The Huntsman: Winter’s War. It was brill and I’m glad I saw it. After it finished I went into Morrison’s next door and grabbed a few more 3-6 month outfits for Scarlett for our holidays. I also got 3 packs of nappies plus a crate of cider – because, priorities lol mom picked me up and we went home to sort dinner. We had Chinese. I love it.

Today we didn’t do a lot. I had an awful nights sleep because Brett and I had an argument over something silly before dawn bed and I guess I was stressing over it. So when Scarlett woke at 7am I fed her, changed her nappy then we went back to sleep till 10:30am. I fed her again and we had an hours nap then we got our asses up and went to my nan’s house. My brother was there and we ended up having dinner then we walked home.

Scarlett was being grumpy because of her teeth so when she finally settled for a late afternoon nap I didn’t want to move her so I just stayed on the sofa with her on my lap. Mom fed her at 7ish whilst I was washing up and that was her last feed for the night. At 7:30 I bathed her and got her ready for bed. By 8:30ish she was flat out asleep so at 9 I brought her up to bed. She woke up when I laid her in her bed so I put her in my bed for an hour and then I moved her back to her own. She didn’t wake this time. She seems so small sometimes but then other times she’s growing too fast.

She’s flat out now and I’m quite tired so I’m heading to bed.


Dentist sucks

So day 3 of the advent calendar game lol it is probably the only part of christmas, that as an adult I still enjoy.

I had my long anticipated dentist appointment today. As you’ll remember from my to-do post a while back. Well the dentist told me I’m starting to get slight gum disease in the teeth at bottom right, the ones that surround my half-peaked wisdom tooth. She says its most likely due to the fact that I can’t or haven’t been cleaning the wisdom tooth as thoroughly as I should and some food has gotten under the gum. She wanted to do a full deep clean there and then. I was like “woah Nellie, no way, I can’t afford that right now. Will my teeth fall out if I wait a while?” She said no so I asked for remedies to keep it at bay. She suggested Listerine Totalcare mouth wash and a new firmer toothbrush. So I purchased these from Morrison’s once I’d paid my dental bill. I don’t fancy the idea of a “deep clean” lol it sounds hellish and that’s saying a lot as I’ve had a few fillings in the past and all of them I endured without any anaesthetic.

The twins are here tonight. Fred pushed Frankie off the windowsill in their bedroom Monday and Frank wouldn’t walk, he kept crawling so their mom phoned the doctor up but by the time she’d taken him for the appointment he’d started walking and he seemed fine if you touched his feet and legs. The doctor said to just keep an eye as it didn’t look broken or even bruised. He seems fine to me. He’s just a little whiner but tbh if my bro had shoved me off something I’d be pissed too lol so they’re here overnight and most of tomorrow. They’re in bed asleep and I’m in bed reading. I’ve finished Family – book 4 in “the girl in the box” series and I’ve just started book 5 – Omega. I love these books.

It’s 2 weeks today that Reggie and I go to Watford to the Harry Potter Studio Tour. I reminded him of this earlier and he was really excited. Me too. It’s going to be such fun as we don’t spend much time together as he has school commitments and football training etc. Plus I often have the twins to give their mom a break lol so yeah, 2 weeks and it’s wands, magic and wizards for us little geeks. I can’t wait.


Paddington Station

Well as you know already; I met someone yesterday on a total “blind date”. Like, literally, I had no idea what he looked like. I do now. He’s my type so I was relieved when he picked me out the crowd. I was also relieved he had showed up lol especially after the journey I’d had. Apparently this week the National Rail decides they simply MUST do rail repair works somewhere between the station I live near, and another one a few stops down the line towards London. Suffice it say when I arrived at my station to board the train and found a replacement bus services instead: I panicked. Not because there’s anything wrong with buses. I use them locally a lot! It’s just I don’t travel that well on them, especially crammed in. But it’s the duration that’s the problem. You see I suffer from motion sickness and if I’d had to get a bus from my little town up to London Waterloo I’d have keeled over and puked within maybe 40 minutes at most. It turned out however that the bus replacement was just between my station and Woking. So the bus journey was approximately 25 minutes. Do-able. So I suffered it. At Woking I got on a train and within half hour I was arriving at Waterloo.

So I’m at Waterloo and I’m waiting for this guy to show up and he’s text saying he’s on his way. I realise I’m desperate for a pee so I locate some toilets and in I go. As I go in there’s a sign that says “30p to pee”. I see no means to deposit said money and no means of “stopping my entry” so I go in and do my business.

I’m walking back towards the centre of the station and this bloke is walking up to me. I suddenly realise who he is and relief washes over me. By this time it was about 8:45. We walk to the exit as we agree it’s better to go find a hotel first then decide what we’d like to do. Unfortunately we picked the night that the rugby is on so Central London is buzzing but also hectic. We try a few hotels outside and they’re all booked up so London Guy suggested we jump in a taxi and head further afield from the centre as the hotels will be more freer the further away you are. I agreed. It seemed logical. We ended up in Paddington near where he lives. We tried a couple of places but one had a separate toilet and I wasn’t comfortable having to leave the room in the night to pee. Don’t get me wrong, I’m brave and that but I’m not stupid. Also, how would that look: I go all the way to London to meet a “strange” guy for the first time and instead of being murdered by him, I get knifed in a hall way of a sleazy hotel by a random guy? Not good, right?
So we settled on a hotel, paid and got the keys. He said he’d go to the shop down the road for munchies and drinks so I locked the door and turned the tv on when he left. He came back and I cracked open a Magners. We spent some time chatting and getting to know each other. Overall it was a good meet. I went to sleep about 3 and woke up about 11. He had to get off to work and I wanted to start making my way home. We said our goodbyes and off we went.

I walked from the hotel to Paddington station. It wasn’t far and the sun was shining for a change. I stopped in the McDonalds next to the station for some “breakfast” but as it was so late they’d swapped the choices back to normal meals so I had some cheese bites and a chips. I got on the tube and arrived in Waterloo at 12:45. The next train from there to Woking was 1:11 so I didn’t have to wait too long so I grabbed a drink from a shop and found my platform. At Woking I had to wait almost an entire hour for the next replacement bus to home. It’s Sunday so the times gets further apart. I hadn’t thought to bring socks. It was cold as by time I got to Woking it was 2 and my feet were freezing when my nan picked me up from the station at home. I went to hers and had my roast dinner she’d saved me. It was nice and just what I needed.

Finally I got home a while ago and had a nice relaxing bath. I’ve been reading again, finally. I demolished the new James Patterson book from the Alex Cross series in less than 24 hours lol so I’m hoping to actually hit my book challenge target. I’ve purchased the next 2 books in the “Girl in the box” series so they’ll keep me amused. If I read both of those this week that’ll mean I’ll only have to read 4 more to hit it. It’s not December YET so I have time.

Watching this space lol