International Women’s Day 2018

Wednesday I got to work for 8. By 10 my eye was so bad I couldn’t see. My managers were in a meeting so I left an email and a text to say I was off home and then I left. When I got in I cleaned my eye out, I took more antihistamines and then climbed into bed with a wet flannel on my face. I fell asleep and woke up at lunch time. I ate some lunch then I laid back in bed waiting for the scratchy feeling and throbbing pain [and leaky water] to subside. It didn’t that much.

Thursday I stayed home again. My manager didn’t seem pleased but what could I do. My eye was still so bad. So I went back to bed after I sent Scarlett off to Nursery. I got up at 1:30. I didn’t bother with lunch. I went to my Nan’s. Scarlett was napping. Once she was up, she had dinner then we headed home. I watched some TV then I laid in a nice hot bath reading my book. I caught up with the season finale of Requiem. Two episodes instead of 1. It was a really strange ending. Scarlett woke up at midnight when I had just laid down to sleep. Typical. She was cute though. She thinks it’s exciting laying in my bed. She snuggles right up under my duvet. I put her back in her cot at 1am. Then finished reading my book. That is 6 books in the space of 2 weeks.

International Women’s Day 2018. As a mother of a daughter all I posted on Insta was “she may be small, but she is mighty“. I’ve heard it somewhere before but I can’t think where. It just sounded appropriate. I aim to raise my girl to be strong, independent and fierce. But also kind, loyal and determined. She’s very stubborn so I look forward [not] to her teen years. The terrible twos have already started [save me]!!!

Today I got up at 7. Got dressed then got Scarlett dressed. We brushed our teeth then I did her breakfast. I wasn’t hungry. I left at 7:45 for work. I’ve had a headache all day and my eye are been scratchy still because the heater was on and it kept drying my eye out. To be honest the heater didn’t need to be on, I was getting ready hot. The weather outside is dreary but not cold. I actually felt sick at one point.

Brett is coming down tonight. He is staying over and going home tomorrow evening. He wants to spend some time with Scarlett. I genuinely don’t know what is the best course of action. I am the reason they have a bond in the first place so I don’t feel it’s right or fair of me to rip them apart. At the same time, I’m not sure how appropriate or healthy it is for her to keep seeing him as “Daddy”. At the end of the day, he’s not her dad. And it’s not like we’ve been together years and have other children. It’s not been 2 years and it’s just her. Honestly, who knew navigating dating whilst a single parent was so damn tricky! I swear I am not going near anyone else. This has put me off for life!

TTFN x

P.S. move in day is in T-Minus 14 days!

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Throat is still sore

Monday was great. I was really busy at work catching up. It was unfortunate that I had been on annual leave previous to falling sick. So I had been out of the office since December 22nd. I had 50 emails. But most were tied into email chains so only 1 email out of say 5 were actionable. Still, I made a massive dent in them. I felt rather productive. Silent Witness started at 9pm. New season. I love it. So glad we have a series link!

Tuesday my alarm didn’t go off. I woke up at 7:45 to my Nan banging on my front door. I had to quickly get dressed, make my lunch and go. I left my Nan dressing Scarlett. I made her bottle whilst I was making lunch in the kitchen. But that was all I did do. I hate being late. My mom had arrived from work to pick me up and had to wait as I was running late. I got to work at 8:10. I was so surprised it wasn’t any later. I had text on my way that I was going to be late and why so my manager was fine when I got in. I said I’d make it up in my lunch break. Standard procedure.

I finished off all my email catchup. Then I looked into some upcoming tasks. Got a lot of database maintenance coming up. That’ll keep me busy!!!!

Wednesday (today) I had a quieter day. I felt really tired. I couldn’t sleep the night before. Think I didn’t nod off until gone 1am. I was feeling really tired by lunch time. I caught up with some more Elementary on my lunch break. I’m on season 5 now!

I’m almost finished with my antibiotics. I’m still coughing but not as much. My throat is still sore on one side. It’s annoying me. Like why does it need to be sore!?

Not got much planned this week. I’m working tomorrow and Friday. Usual!

Friday Brett is coming down after work. No plans thus far. Just chill out. Probably watch a movie Saturday (either cinema or in bed). I’m looking for a quiet weekend. I’m still not 100%. I’d say I’m functioning at 80%. Almost there but not quite!

TTFN x

Flu or something similar

Sunday I felt sick as a dog. I came over all cold and started shivering like I was having some kind of fit. My teeth were chattering, my fingers went numb and I kept spasming everywhere. Then 2 hours later I came over all hot. I was sweating like someone had lit a fire. I don’t think I settled down to sleep till almost 4 and I woke up at least every hour till Scarlett woke up a 8:15.

We got up and I gave her a bottle. I felt so off. I couldn’t put my finger on it but I felt dodgy. I took her up to get dressed but I was overcome with the urge to vomit so we took a detour to the bathroom. I vomited all the water I’d just drank. Scarlett is a bit of a dirt bag. She was trying to stick her head over the toilet to see what I was doing. I think I yelled at her to stand behind me. She looked quite concerned. I reassured her that I’m ok. No sooner as I was sick that I stopped. I immediately felt better. How strange! Then I came over all hot again then shivering then hot. You get the idea. I dressed her, and myself then we came downstairs. She had breakfast then helped my Nan with the dinner. She had Scarlett sat on the worktop in the kitchen. She was cutting vegetables and Scarlett was putting them into a bowl. She’s so helpful, bless her.

My nan put her up for a nap then I woke her for dinner. She had more antibiotics. She didn’t eat much food but she loved her pudding. Obviously!

We stayed for the afternoon and left so I could get her bathed and in bed.

Tuesday I didn’t go to work. I had spent all night shivering and then intensely hot. I felt like absolute shite. I had had a headache since New Year’s Eve and even with paracetamol the fever and headache wasn’t going. So I booked an emergency doctors appointment. I couldn’t face the walk. It’s only 20 minutes but I just felt exhausted so my Grandad gave me a lift. I saw the doc at 12ish. He said probably viral but keep an eye on the temp and headache. Also any other symptoms. I walked the 2 minutes to my Nan’s house as she lives insanely close to the Doctors surgery. I stayed at hers all day.

Scarlett’s first day back at Nursery totally wiped her out. She was exhausted and moaned when I woke her for dinner. Tbf I should’ve left her asleep and fed her later. She wouldn’t drink anything so my Nan said to give her an ice lolly. It worked. She ate most of it. She had a few mouthfuls of her dinner then said she was finished. She had a yogurt. We headed home at 5.

My dad turned up as he was up here for a hospital appointment. He had my stepmom and siblings with him. They stayed for a cup of tea and a chat. When they left at 6:15 I bathed Scarlett and then she went to bed at 7.

She woke up in the night and asked to come in my bed. I don’t like co-sleeping with her. I fear I’ll squash her. So I let her fall asleep then I carried her back to her cot.

I went to sleep about half 12-1ish. I woke up at 2:30 with a raging headache. I was sweating profusely. My heart rate was 165 according to my Fitbit tracker. I felt sick and dizzy. I slowly made my way downstairs to forage for something dry to nibble. When I was pregnant I use to have excessive acid in my stomach so any time my stomach was empty I’d feel sick and would need something small to nibble. I grabbed a slice of bread and headed upstairs. I sat on my bed nibbling this piece of bread and drinking my water. I could see my blood pulsating in my head, in the corner of my vision. It was really weird. I still felt dizzy. I just sat there feeling like I’d rather die than put up with how I felt. I FaceTimed Brett crying that I felt so shitty. I’m so glad he picked up. I felt better after I finished eating, crying and my heart rate calmed down. I eventually went back to sleep.

Wednesday I got up at 7 with Scarlett. Got her dressed for Nursery. Did her bottle then my nan picked her up. I was hungry so I had a granola bar and some milk. Milk always helps the acid attacks on my stomach. I went up and got back into bed at 9:30ish and slept till my mom woke me at 1ish.

I realised I needed the loo but I didn’t quite make it as it appears on top of all the symptoms I have (chesty cough, sore throat, headache, fever, achy joints, sickness) I also have diarrhoea. So I can now safely say that I have already shit my pants and we’re only 3 days in the year. I fear this year may not turn out to be a great one!

I got dressed and we headed to my Nan’s as that’s where Scarlett is. We expected her to be asleep when we got there but she’d just woken up. She seemed less exhausted after her second day back. Much more happier and more like herself.

We took her home at 4ish. Mom cooked dinner. Scarlett ate more than she has done recently. I took her up for a bath. She had a shivering attack and kept saying she was cold. I could see she was. Everything on her body was purple except her head which was red. She felt so hot. As soon as she got out the bath I gave her calpol and Nurofen. Then after her bottle she had her antibiotics then she went up to bed.

Mom and I watched the soaps then she left for work.

I got in the bath at 9. It was lush to lay in hot water. My body ached a little less after. I got out, dressed and went downstairs to get a snack (in case I wake up in acid agony again) and some water. I also took paracetamol for my now permanent headache and to ward off the fever I could feel coming.

I laid in bed watching Elementary. I love this show.

Scarlett woke up at a quarter to midnight because I went in her room to check her and I was too noisy. She came in my room for a little bit. We FaceTimed Brett to say Hi. I played some food videos and she said yum. So I’m guessing we’ll have to try some of the recipes together. I told her she’s got her 2nd cake smash this weekend. I had totally forgotten how close it was after Christmas. I showed her the pics from last year and asked her if she wanted to do it again. She said yes. So hopefully that’ll be a nice treat for her to experience after a shitty week.

I put her back to bed at 12:30 then I watched some more Elementary. I switched it off just before 2.

I’m laid in bed and at this very moment my throat hurts, my chest hurts, everything still aches and my head is dull but I’m not feverish nor shivering. So maybe I’m on the up! Here’s hoping lol

TTFN x

New Year 2018

Sunday (New Year’s Eve):

I watched about 4/5 episodes of Elementary and went to bed at like 3am. Oops!

I had set my alarm to wake up at 8. To get my routine back. I forgot I’d done it so when it went off I couldn’t remember why I’d set it so I turned it off and went back to sleep.

Scarlett woke up at 10. She had her bottle and then I called 111. Finally got through and they said a doctor would call me back within 24 hours. They called when we were grabbing food at Morrison’s cafe. They said they’d like to see her so we booked in for an out of hours appointment at the hospital.

After we ate we went home and I put her down for a nap. I know what the hospital can be like and the last thing I wanted was a tired/hungry baby waiting for 2/3 hours.

She had some munchies whilst we waited in the waiting room. Surprisingly we got seen and diagnosed within half hour. So shocked. She’s got a touch of bronchitis so they’ve prescribe amoxicillin. They also suggested to use saline nasal drops to clear her congestion. As well as snuffle babe on her feet.

After the hospital we grabbed some dinner. She didn’t eat much. We ate my nans then we left for Home. My nan said if I wanted to come round for New Year’s Eve then I was welcome to stay. So as not to drag her out in the cold at 1am. So I flung some bits in a bag, did her bath then we headed back to my nans.

Scarlett didn’t go to bed until half 9. We played The Logo Boardgame. It was hard. I barely knew any answers lol it was all good fun though. We turned the tele on at midnight to watch the London Fireworks then I went up to check on Scarlett. She woke up so I brought her down for a bit. She looked shattered but she’s so defiant. And had a case of FOMO (fear of missing out) so she wouldn’t give in. I eventually took her back to bed at 1am then everyone left so we took the dirty dishes in to the kitchen then I headed to bed.

She was still awake when I came up to bed. I let her lay in the bed with me once I was ready for bed. She laid for 20 minutes, in the dark, to calm down then I put her back in the cot. She whined for a moment then when she realised I was still in the room and she was “okay”, she settled.

I’m laid in my nan’s spare room on a single bed. This is an experience. I haven’t slept in a single bed since we went on holiday a few years ago. I hope I don’t fall out!

2017 wasn’t great. It had a lot of downs compared to ups. But it is what it is.

Hopefully 2018 will bring more happiness, more opportunities, more fun and more laughter. Oh and good health. That’s all we can ask for.

Happy New Year everyone. From my home to yours…

TTFN x

Boxing Day 2017

Yesterday I didn’t drop off until almost 3am. Stupid Pro Plus tablets. I forgot they have caffeine in them. Brett woke me up not long after I had nodded off because he’d had a really bad dream. He was thrashing about and shouting in his dream. Weird!

Today Scarlett woke up today at 7 but she settled so I left her. She finally woke up at 8am. I did her bottle then she had some breakfast. She didn’t want to nap so I left her with Brett’s mom whilst we went to Argos. He wanted to get his PS4 in the Boxing Day sales. I offered to pay half. So I gave him £150. Whilst in Argos I got myself a new storage unit for my bedroom and Scarlett some more earrings (if she ever lets me change them). We came back and his mom had dressed Scarlett. She played and then we had some lunch. She was tired but wouldn’t go to sleep but she did curl up on my lap. She was almost asleep but then she noticed everyone had chocolates so she climbed down to investigate. My mom turned up at 2:40 to pick us up from Brett’s. She stopped for a cup of tea and a toilet break. We loaded the car. I forgot about a million things then we finally set off. We stopped at services just before we hit Guildford then we powered on to my nan’s brother’s house. He always does a Boxing Day buffet open house. So we stopped by to say Hey! We ate some food. I drank some wine. Then we headed home. Scarlett had a bath with me then mom dressed her so I could wash my hair in peace. Scarlett cried all the way through bath time and getting dressed. She felt super hot so I gave her some calpol then a bottle. She was sat with my mom and she fell asleep all cuddled up so I took her up to bed.

We got out the prosecco. We watched Emmerdale from today and then had some cheese and crackers. Boursin is too more-ish!

I came up to bed at gone 11. I checked Scarlett and she was roasting still so I gave her some Nurofen. She wasn’t that bad at being woken up for medicine. She took it then just flopped on me so she could go back to sleep. I just held her for 5 minutes then I laid her down.

Brett messaged me to say he’s been sick a few times and he’s feverish. Not good. We’ve just spent 5 days with him so someone, somewhere has got germs and have shared them. Which means we may have caught something too. I hope he’s okay. I’m crossing my fingers that it’s just something he’s eaten and that Scarlett’s fever is teething related. I’m fully expecting a long night ahead as she’s coughing a lot in the night and the monitor keeps lighting up.

We shall see…

It’s our Christmas tomorrow. We’re going to my nan’s in the morning to open presents then we’ll come home and do ours or eat then do ours. Not sure which. I’m not fussed either way.

TTFN x

December 2017 is here

Thursday was the last day of November for 2017. Work was quite relaxed for a change. A slower pace. Did a bit more Christmas shopping online during lunch. And watched some more Glitch – pretty sure I’ve seen the finale now.

I watched Riverdale when Scarlett had gone to bed. My brother’s girlfriend comes on a Thursday so she got to ours about 7:30. She’s so cute. She made my brother an advent calendar and filled the drawers will presents for him. How adorable!

Today I got up like normal and went to work. I did some bits when I first got in. Spoke to my friend in the main office as he was in. Was stood next to him and I came over all funny. I felt dizzy and sick. I went back to my desk but I just felt so weird and off. I sat there for an hour. Every time I so much as blinked I felt like I was on a boat on choppy waters. By almost 11 I’d had enough. I messaged who I needed to, packed up my crap and went home. I was laid down in bed by 11:30. I must’ve fell asleep because next thing I know, it’s 3:15pm.

I sat up and I felt “okay”. I put some slippers on and went downstairs. I’d slept through lunch. Usually by 1pm at Work I’m eating so I was starving. So I went into the cupboards and grabbed some porridge. I really fancied it. So I ate that and then at 4 my mom came home. Then her friend turned up at 4ish too. Mom picks Scarlett up at 4:30 so I said I’d go with her as I never usually get to go as I’m at work. So we all went to get her. She was surprised to see me but she was happy sitting next to me in the car. She held my hand!!!

When we got in she played and had her usual cup of tea. Then at 6 I took her up for a bath. At 7ish mom drove us and my brother’s girlfriend to drop my brother at work then we grabbed dinner before going to my nans for a cup of tea. She had a laugh running about, singing, shouting and playing with Marley. My mom left for work just before 9 and then my nan dropped us Home at 9:30. Scarlett went straight to bed. No fuss. She’s so good!!!

I ordered some stuff from Amazon Prime NOW as I need more Soya milk for Scarlett as well as various other things. Saves me doing a big shop on a weekend. I hate shopping on a weekend, too hectic! So I’m in bed waiting for it to come. It’s due between 10pm-12midnighy. It’s 11:25 lol

Brett is on his way to ours. He got on the train at 11 so he’ll get off about 12:15.

We are taking her to see Santa tomorrow at the grotto in the Mall in Camberley. She didn’t like it last year but I’m hoping she’ll be a bit more excited this time. Doubtful but we’ll see.

TTFN x

Ps. Christmas countdown has begun.

24 sleeps till Christmas!!!!!

Long week back

Monday:

So Scarlett had me up really early. Think it was 5:30 when she woke up. I went back to sleep and then overslept. We ended up having to grab a McDonald’s Breakfast. Which is fine because that is our Monday tradition anyway. When I got to work my team had put some “congratulations” banners on my desk as well as lots of confetti. I was finding the damn stuff hours later lol

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Scarlett was super grumpy when we got home at 5:30pm. I think being away for a week from nursery has her feeling exhausted on her first day back. Plus she does a full day on Mondays so she was there 8am till 4:30pm. That is very long. Hopefully she is less grumpy tomorrow.

Tuesday:

I woke up with a banging headache. I took some paracetamol and went to work. It dulled but it reared back twice as hard in the afternoon. I took some Ibuprofen in a last ditch attempt to get it to fuck the hell off. It did the trick, temporarily. I went to bed really early. According to my Fitbit I was asleep by 10:30pm.

Wednesday:

I woke up 7am and I felt sick as a dog. I kept heaving and retching. The last time I had felt like that was when I was pregnant. It was awful. I know I am not pregnant, btw. I have the coil remember lol I just meant to explain that I do not feel “off” very often. Although Friday I did feel “off”. However I do believe that was from all the travelling we’d done whilst away. I get travel sickness [well motion sickness] but it doesn’t always happen until I stand still, so to speak. Like a delayed reaction. Anyways, I felt like shit so I called in sick, sent Scarlett off to nursery and then climbed into bed. Now I didn’t want to sleep all day because I knew I wouldn’t sleep the night, so I laid and “rested” whilst watching back-to-back NCIS, obvs! I did nod off, around 1:30pm and then woke up at 2:30pm [according to Sir Fitbit lol]. At 3ish we went to my Nan’s for dinner and to pick up Scarlett. I got her into the bath and in bed before 7pm. This week she has whinged to go to bed before 7 so I let her. She is obviously tired so why force her to stay up. We have to be up at 6:30 in the morning so her sleeping earlier means she’ll be up in time in the AM. I had a shower and then watched some tele before heading to bed myself. I couldn’t sleep and didn’t drop off till about 1:30am!!!!!!!!

Thursday [today]:

My alarm was set for 7am. Should’ve known that Scarlett wouldn’t allow me to lay in on a rare day that I actually can. She woke at 6am. I brought her into my bed for a cuddle then we went downstairs to watch some cartoons whilst she drank her bottle. Then we got dressed. I cooked mine and mom’s breakfast and she came in from work just as I dished up. My nan picked Scarlett up at 7:50. Scarlett didn’t want to go. She cried and held her arms out for me to take her. Broke my heart. She’s never done that before. In the 10 months she has been at nursery. I wanted to just grab her and stay at home. But I can’t. So I let her go. We finished eating then my mother took me to the doctors. Today I had the luxury of being frisked in my Hoo-Hah by a doctor for the sole purpose of checking my coil has stayed where it should and is doing what it should do. Apparently it IS fine and all is well. I got to work for 9am.

A friend announced her pregnancy today. She is due in January 2018. Her daughter was due Feb and came 5 weeks early. I am keeping my fingers crossed for a full term baby especially as she says she will work until the first week of January, which is fair play but given her daughter’s speedy entrance, I would’ve opted to finish at Christmas, just in case lol

I am hoping Scarlett is in a better mood today and doesn’t hold a grudge about this morning. I have just got in the car so I will find out when we get home.

TTFN x