Hump Day

Tuesday I had my midwife appointment. She did all the usual checks. Baby is still head down but I knew that from the scan the day before. She said there was no glucose in my wee sample this time. Good news as I had no intentions of re-doing the GTT. I told her about Friday and Monday. She said to attend the monitoring and see how it went. That was it.

My American friend (part of an American pregnancy group) spontaneously went into labour and had her little girl a few weeks early. She’s doing well but as she’s early they’re keeping her in. On my English pregnancy group so far 4 babies have been born. 1 was born a few weeks ago, another was born last week and 2 more this week. None of them were even due this month. It’s so crazy. I’m totally jealous because I actually AM due this month but I can’t see her ever making her appearance.

I feel like I’m going to be pregnant forever. I know I’m not. But I just hate this waiting around. I’m not very good when I can’t control something. It makes me anxious. I know I’m anxious at the moment because I noticed I’ve been chewing my lips. The inside of my bottom lip is sore and lumpy. I can’t help it. I’m just so worried about her movements again, as she keeps going quiet for hours on end, and I just hate the fact I can’t predict when she’ll be here.

Today I had my monitoring and trace appointment at 10:30am. My grandad picked me up at 10am. I got seen at 11am. I was finished by noon. Baby hadn’t moved much since I got up and only moved a little whilst on the monitor. It’s a different one in DAU. Instead of just letting a machine do its thing, you have a clicker you press when you feel a movement. I was monitored for 30 minutes and I only had cause to press it twice. That didn’t seem much but the midwife said the trace came out fine. I can only assume movement showed up that I couldn’t feel?

My grandad picked me up and I went to his house for lunch. I had picked up a cheese panini from the cafe at the hospital so I ate that when we arrived.

I have another monitoring and trace on Friday. I don’t have anything planned tomorrow but I may go to bingo in the evening with my Nan. She goes every Thursday.

TTFN x

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Taken hostage

Saturday baby girl didn’t move until the late afternoon. I had started to get emotional and stressed about it but suddenly she started moving like crazy.

Sunday she seemed fine too so I thought that’s great. She’s getting back to herself I hope.

Today I phoned up the hospital to inquire about my growth scan as per the doctors instruction on Friday. The first lady I spoke to in Gynae & Antenatal was rude as anything. She said I would not have been told to call up, I would be receiving a letter. Twice I told her WHY that makes no sense given the fact I was in hospital as an emergency visit on Friday and that was what I was explicitly told. In the end she just forwarded my call to the ultrasound desk. The lady there was much friendlier. She said there was a note about me and she said she’d book me in today. So she did. For 1pm.

Mom and I went to nan’s for lunch then we set off to the hospital for the scan. We arrived 15 minutes early but when I went to reception to check in they told me they weren’t ready for the afternoon clinics so I was told to sit down and when they were ready they’d take my maternity book and check me in. At 1:15pm, half hour after we arrived, the lady said we could check in. So I gave my book in and sat back down. At 2pm I’d had enough waiting so I went up to reception to see just how “far behind” on the schedule they were and the receptionist said they were a little behind but I’d be called soon. As soon as I sat down I was called so in we went. The sonographer lady was like “you’re late, I’ve been waiting for you since 1”. I was gobsmacked. I replied that we had been here since 12:45 and the receptionist had told us we couldn’t check in till the clinic was ready but that we’d been checked in since 1:15. I couldn’t believe how rude she was.

She did the growth scan and said baby appears to be growing just fine so I was like that’s great. I got up to leave and she tells me I’m suppose to take my scan notes up to DAU to be assessed. I asked why? And explained that I hadn’t been to DAU, I had been in the labour ward on Friday. She said that’s where I need to go then. It was almost 2:30 by then. So I said to mom lets go up so we go up and the lady on the reception has no clue what’s going on. She phones around and speaks to a few people but still no one knows why I’ve been sent up there. She tells me to sit and wait whilst she figures it out. By the time it’s past 3pm she finally comes over and says that I’m required to have another round of monitoring and trace but it’ll be a while as they’re busy so I’m just to wait. I had had 4 hours sleep the night before, was starving and overall cranky. Mom had work at 6 so she needed to leave. So she left. I snuck down to the cafe for some food then I sat patiently waiting to be seen. I started reading my James Patterson book. At 5:30ish I was called in to be seen. They put the monitor on and left me for half hour. I read a bit more of my book. A midwife came in and took me off the monitor. She said the doctor wants to speak to me so when she’s free she’ll come in. So I sat and waited. At 7ish she finally came. She says she sees no reason for me to be induced (I see a reason) but would like to air on the side of caution so she has booked me in for 2 sessions of monitoring at the DAU. One is Wednesday and the other is Friday. She says if they both go well then they’ll leave me be. I’m so annoyed they aren’t taking it that seriously that I’ve had three reduced movement episodes. I was so tired and hungry again that I got my grandad to run me past McDonald’s on our way home, after he’d picked me up.

I got in, watched Emmerdale whilst eating then I got in the bath. At 9pm I watched Silent Witness and now I’m laid in bed ready to sleep.

I have my 38 week midwife check tomorrow as I was 38 weeks yesterday. I’m going to mention it all to her but I don’t expect her to have a different stance on it than the other midwives. They all seem to care less about reduce movements. They think us women are lying because as soon as the monitor is on the baby starts moving. It’s part of the reason I hate going up for it. I’ve had more episodes than the 3 I’ve actually gone up for. And the reason I didn’t go for them was because of the first time I ever went up, the midwife made me feel silly for going because I was only 27 weeks. So the next time it happened I just waited it out and prayed she was okay. Twice I had “slow movement days” before I went up at Christmas. Maybe I should mention these when I’m down the DAU next. That might make a difference. I’m just not comfy leaving her in when I feel like somethings not right. It’s getting me down to be honest, that I don’t feel like anyone is listening to me.

I’m off to sleep.

TTFN x

I really love hospitals…

… Not. Mom and I went into town today and I was having weird pains (kind of) the entire time. It was a mixture between lightning pains and the constant uncomfortable need to pee. I struggled to walk properly. I noticed after town and lunch that baby girl had not woken up. I had felt 1 whooshy movement since getting up. That’s not like her. She loves food, and it always (and I mean ALWAYS) makes her move. I decided to leave it until later on when I’d laid on my side for an hour and had cold water. With only 1 more movement in that time I thought “right, I’ll have some dinner and then I’ll call up the hospital”. So we ate and at 7ish I called them up. I explained the whole “reduced movements, 38 weeks pregnant today, bad pelvic pains all day and weird snot-like stuff whenever I wiped after a wee”. They said to come up for some monitoring. So we left home at 7:30ish. We put the labour bags in the car just in case.

They had me do a wee sample and then had me on the monitor for almost an hour. Her heart rate was really high for ages but eventually it dropped to a normal range of 140-145bpm. She moved a bit because they’d poked and prodded her but after they’d done the trace, her movements went back to basically non-existent even thou I was drinking cold water again. My pulse was a little high but my BP was okay.

The midwife who’d been dealing with me said she was happy with the monitoring but wanted the doctor to speak to me before I go because it’s my third trip up there for reduced movements. I said that’s fine. She said the doctor may want to discuss a possible early induction (from week 39) due to the reduction in movements. I was okay with that. So she left and we waited.

Another midwife came in and said that the doctor was busy so would we want to go home and come back for a scan in the week. I was like “not really, I’m not sure what a scan would achieve, I’d much rather speak to the doctor today whilst I’m here”. She said that’s fine if we want to wait. So we waited. She said though that the doctor isn’t likely to offer an induction as she doesn’t feel it’s necessary because I’m “still early” and my body will most likely suffer if labour is forced.

The doctor came. She gave me the options of:

  • Having an induction pessary, which she says most likely won’t work if my body isn’t ready yet.
  • Booking in for a scan on Monday, and just going home tonight and monitoring movements tomorrow and if they’re still not the “norm” then coming back up tomorrow.

I decided to go home and have the scan in the week. She did an internal examination. She says my cervix is still hard but is open enough for the tip of 1 finger. Which I saw in my notes says 1cm dilated. She gave me a sweep and afterwards I noticed more of the snot-like stuff.

Part of me wonders if I should’ve gone for the pessary but I just worry I’m forcing her out. The movements do worry me and I’d much prefer her to come out if she’s not happy than to keep her in for fear of her being born too soon. I mean I’m 38 weeks Sunday (tomorrow) but if you go by my growth scan I was 38 weeks yesterday (Friday) so I don’t think it’s that soon.

I hate all the waiting around. I just want to know she’s 100% okay and I want her here.

We’ll see how tomorrow goes. I’m in bed at the moment. I have some period-type pains and the bottom of bump aches so maybe the sweep has helped. Who knows.

TTFN x

Countdown

Well I had my doctors appointment yesterday. He didn’t exactly explain why I had to take antibiotics. He just said that my urine had white cells in it indicating my body was trying to fight an infection and because I’m pregnant he didn’t want to wait for a resample. He said if he had waited for a resample the infection could’ve ended up getting much worse and inducing labour. I understand that. I do. But he couldn’t even tell me what type of infection and I had NO symptoms. Plus he also said the sample indicated a corruption in it, meaning it could have had a bit of dirt or dust in the urine sample pot. So in reality I may NOT HAVE HAD an infection. Infuriating much!

I am thinking of starting a countdown once I hit the 2 weeks left mark but I’m not sure which due date to go by. My “official” one of January 31st or the growth scan January 29th. Or what about my LMP EDD 27th January lol

I haven’t had any symptoms of impending labour. My pelvis aches and occasionally I get shooting pains but they’re tolerable. I’ve had a slight increase in discharge but I haven’t seen my mucus plug yet. I also haven’t had leaky boobs or any major change in them. They’re the same size as before being pregnant. My nipples ARE darker but that’s it. I really do hope I don’t go overdue. I don’t think I’d enjoy that much but I know she’ll come whenever she is ready. I just hope she hurries up and is ready soon. I just want to meet her. I want to see her face because at the moment I can’t picture her face. And until she’s here it’s still so surreal!!!

I’m going cinema on Thursday with my grandad. He wants to watch The Hateful Eight. It’s not usually my sort of film but he wants to see so I said I’d go with him. It’s over 3 hours long so there is a 15 minute intermission half way through lol we are going to catch the afternoon viewing as I don’t think neither of us want to be at the cinema for more than 3 hours so late at night.

I have to hand in my urine sample tomorrow for the resample. I also need to pick up my 2 nursing bras from mothercare. I ordered 3 headbands for baby girl online so I’m waiting for them to come. She’ll have 6 then. That’s plenty. I know she’s bound to have hardly any hair like I did when I was baby so the headband will make it obvious to strangers than she’s a girl!

I’m currently in bed, wide awake at 4:15am, watching Murdoch Mysteries. I quite like this show. It’s on so late though so I only catch it if I’ve slept too much in the day before and find myself wide awake the next night!!

TTFN x 

My final Wednesday

Well I survived the midweek hump day. It was a long day. I started off by showing the new lady some stuff but my manager told me to stop showing her, and just let her get on with it. I wasn’t happy about that as the task in question is 1) very long 2) very specific and 3) needs doing ASAP, preferably by someone who has been doing it long enough and understands it’s fully. But I did as I was told. So the lady logged in and she went through the stuff. I sat and observed. We chatted as silence is just plain weird.

I had my lunch at 12 with Rach and Bev. My mom picked me up at the end of the day. I can’t believe how dark it is outside by the time it’s hit 4pm. It’s pitch black when I leave the office at 5.

My uncle had dropped off a bunch of baby stuff that his wife sorted out for me. They have 5 daughters so there was 2 bags full of baby clothes. I’m really appreciative and I went through it after I had a bath tonight so I could see how much of which sizes there was. Can safely say, a lot. I’m so grateful. They also sent over a changing mat. I can finally tick that off my list.

I can’t believe I go on maternity in a day and a half. Doesn’t seem real. But it’s happening. Thank god because I’ve felt so drained this week. I can’t wait to relax and prepare for her arrival in 8 weeks!!!

TTFN x

My final Monday

Well I DID catch an earlier bus and end up having a nice payday breakfast before work.

I ordered a bunch of stuff for the baby’s room from Argos online. It all had some form of discount on it due to “Black Friday” deals. I also ordered a bunch of baby clothes from Next online as I had a voucher to use lol

From Next:

  • A pink coat
  • A set of 3 long sleeved vests
  • A “I love my mommy” t-shirt
  • A long sleeved top and leggings set
  • A set of 2 pink jogger trousers (not pictured)

From Argos:

  • Baby monitor
  • Baby bath
  • Play mat
  • Nightlight (not pictured)
  • Pink Minnie Mouse bath chair (not pictured)
  • Canvas wall prints (not pictured)
  • Brown bear comforter (not pictured)

I also did most of my Christmas shopping on Saturday. There’s a few bits left to get but in pleased with how much we achieved on Saturday. Mom and I started off the day bright and early with breakfast at the cafe then we set off. I got a new bra in ASDA. Finally a new one. Same size. Have not gone up a size, yet.

Sunday we had my cousins birthday party then we went out for dinner after.

Today was my last Monday at work before leaving for Maternity Leave this coming Friday. I have a lady starting in the office tomorrow who is going to be covering my role whilst I’m away.

I have my Whooping Cough injection tomorrow at 11:30 then I am leaving work at 2 for a funeral. I have a midwife appointment Thursday but that’s late afternoon.

I can’t believe I finish work so soon. I also can’t believe it’s December tomorrow!!!

TTFN x

Almost TGIF

I didn’t go to work on Tuesday in the end. I woke up and I still saw stars so I decided to stay home. I felt so fuzzy headed. I slept a bit and then got up to forage for food.

Wednesday I was back at work. I have so much to do and tie up before I leave next week. It’s insane.

Last night I had my first “labour” dream. It wasn’t traumatic as you’d expect. It was just surreal. And a little sad when I woke up and realised she wasn’t actually here yet lol I hope it’s not a prophecy dream because she was born 6 weeks early (which would mean she’d be born the week of Christmas!). She did weigh a healthy 5lbs though so that was great. She looked gorgeous but that’s obviously just what my mind imagines her to look like. I can’t wait to meet her.

Today at work was busy. Lots to do.

I have 4 and a half working days to go then I am going on Maternity Leave. I wonder if the office will send a goodbye card round for me. I won’t be upset if they don’t. I’m pretty sure there is a handful of people who can’t wait for me to leave. I’m going on leave early because I think I’m a pain to put up with already. Imagine how much worse I could get if I stayed working any longer lol I can’t help it, I’m just easily irritated nowadays. Especially when certain people keep making judgemental comments regarding anything I eat or drink. It’s none of their damn business if I wish to have some caffeine or a donut or a packet of crisps. It’s my body and I know it very well having been dealing with it for 24 years.

It’s Friday tomorrow. It’s payday too. And it’s Black Friday because of thanksgiving today. So I’m going to do my Christmas shopping this weekend as well as getting relevant birthday cards etc.

I captured my little lady on camera today. I was in the bath and she started moving a lot so I snapped a video.
I am going to get up early tomorrow to catch an earlier bus so I can treat myself to a payday breakfast. Looking forward to it already.

TTFN x