5 days till Italy

So I got up with Scarlett at 7:45am. Was a decent lay in. She had a bottle and a nappy change. We watched some teletubbies and she sat on my lap for ages, which made me think she was probably tired. I made her breakfast then I put her down for a nap. Brett got up just before 10 and we had a bicker in the kitchen because he had pissed me off in the morning by almost knocking me out when dreaming [which itself isn’t an issue] and then when I was nice and asked if he was ok/dreaming? He got really attitudinal with me and then he was whinging that Scarlett was crying [I was putting her down for a nap] so I swore at him and left the bedroom. He came out a bit later and yeah we argued. His mom decided to get in the middle and told us to grow up. Brett was annoyed because he wouldn’t interfere in her relationship with his Dad, so she shouldn’t do it to us. But her argument was that it’s her house and she doesn’t want arguing in her house. She said [not to me, to Brett whilst I sat there feeling awkward as fuck] that I need to learn to “handle” him better. I am still young apparently and bite too quickly. Not sure having the hump over his attitude is anything to do with my age, just the fact I don’t like being spoken to like shit. But anyways, I was just still angry so I kept my mouth shut and sat there like a fucking lemon feeling more awkward by the minute.

We went into the shops once Scarlett woke up from her morning nap. I felt sick because I was so hungry as it was lunch time at this point. And we went into the pet store and it stank I almost vommed lol so I waited outside. We headed back. Scarlett had a sandwich and then I put her back down for a nap at half 2. She woke up just in time for dinner at 4ish. She didn’t eat much dinner, which I expected as she had just woke up. Brett and his dad had a blazing row in the kitchen whilst washing up. Not entirely sure what it was over. I was in the lounge changing Scarlett’s shitty nappy so I only heard snippets. They’ve never rowed when we’ve been there before. So was a little unsettling to hear 2 grown men going at each other. Scarlett obviously could hear and it upset her a little. Contrary to what you may believe, we don’t yell at each other in my house an we certainly have never in front of Scarlett. Brett picked her up when he had calmed down and I packed our stuff up. His mom drove us to the station at 6. Our train was 6:18pm. We got home at 7:30. My mom picked us up and we went home.

She had a bath and went to bed for 8:30ish. I had a quick shower myself and then caught up with Midnight, Texas that was on Thursday. Mom and I went up to bed at about 10ish. I was quite tired so I am thinking of going to sleep soon. Just laid in bed with my lovely mosquito bites that are itchy. I keep coming across a new one. So far I have 5.

5 days until Italy. I should count “sleeps”. So we have Sunday night, Monday night, Tuesday night, Wednesday night and Thursday night so that is 5 sleeps. Getting closer and I feel unprepared lol

TTFN x

11 days to go

Friday I had originally said to mom that I fancied going cinema as she was home so it was no hardship for her to babysit. But I changed my mind. I stayed in. We waited for her boyfriend to come over then we ordered a sneaky Chinese. I then went up to bed to carry on watching Salem. I have just started watching it and I am engrossed. It is a Netflix show so been streaming it downstairs on TiVo. But also on my iPad.

Saturday Scarlett woke up at 6ish. Put her back down. She wasn’t having any of it so we got up. Went downstairs. Let her play in the lounge whilst I attempted to doze. Every time I tried she kept coming over to show me her “baby” lol we had breakfast then she went for a nap. I woke her up at 11 as she had a swimming lesson finally. They had been cancelled for 2 weeks in a row due to a fault with the swimming pool so we’d not been in ages. She loves her lessons. She is getting more confident every time. When we were finished Mom dropped us in town. By then it was lunch so we had a cheeky McDonald’s. I just had a chicken burger. Scarlett had a cheese burger.

After lunch we took a stroll to the hairdressers as I needed my hair cut. She was really good behaved considering she had to sit in the stroller whilst they washed, cut and blow dried my hair. She whinged towards the end but that was due to her being tired and needing a nap. We hit the shops before we headed to my Nan’s. My mom, me and her boyfriend decided we wanted to go cinema so we asked my Nan if she minded babysitting. She said she would. So mom headed home to grab some bits. We had dinner at my nan’s then I bathed Scarlett in my Nan’s kitchen sink then I got her ready for bed. Nan said she’d give her a bottle and then put her to sleep in the stroller. Which she did.

We went off to the cinema at 8ish. We popped into Morrison’s first then headed to the movies. It was really busy. We all got a slushie then sat down in our seats. The movie was really good. Having studied History for 5 years at school I am really disappointed that we were never taught about Dunkirk. I know that if we had been I would’ve at least remembered the name of it. There is so much we aren’t taught in class and I feel like I barely know any of our history.

We Drove to my Nan’s and picked Scarlett up. Couldn’t transfer her from stroller to car seat without waking her so I didn’t other trying too much. She had a few extra ounces of milk in her cot at home then she was back to sleep. She is such a good little human, bless her.

Sunday she woke me up at 6am. Again! We were going out at 11ish so I gave her a bottle when she first woke then some breakfast at half 8. She went down for a nap at 9 and then I woke her at 10:45 so she could get dressed. We got picked up at 11 and off we went. We went to my aunt’s house. Her new house. Was hectic as with us there there was 5 adults and 6 kids. But we managed. Scarlett finally noticed there were 2 of the same kid. She was sat next to Frankie and then Freddie came in. She looked from Fred to Frank and back again. Then at me. Her face was a picture. She couldn’t figure out why there was 2. So I told her one was Frankie, the other was Freddie. She still wasn’t convinced, I could see it in her face lolIMG_3295

I don’t think anyone understands what that pic (^) means to me. Seeing my child with them. They were in-utero when I was told I couldn’t have my own babies. And I felt jealous that my aunt could just pop babies out. And I vowed I wouldn’t babysit for anyone ever again because it hurt too much to be near kids at the time. But time moved on and they were born. They spent as much time at mine their first 2 years than they did at home. They were terrors but I loved them anyway. And then Scarlett came along. My little dream. My miracle. MY terror. And to see her with them today. Her following them. Copying them. Yabbering away to them. Well, it made my heart swell… This is exactly what I had always dreamed of. My child with my aunt’s children, growing up as besties. Sometimes dream DO come true!

We got home at 5:30pm. We finished watched Hotel Transylvania. She had some supper [crisps, a gingerbread man and a yoghurt] then she had a bath. She was trying out her new skills from swimming. I got her ready for bed. We had a nice long cuddle on the sofa before I got up and made her bottle. She was in bed fast asleep by 7:30pm. When I put her down I got in the shower myself. Then I went downstairs just as mom got home. I hoovered whilst she made me some supper then we watched Poldark. When it was done I climbed into bed. I am in bed now. Work tomorrow.

11 days to go tomorrow until we go to Italy. It is getting very exciting!!!!!!!!!

TTFN x

Alpro ice cream

Wednesday 21st:

My cousins baby was born at 10:01am. He weighed 8 lb 14 oz. And he is gorgeous. He has quite a bit of dark hair. So glad he arrived safely. They named him Parker Harry James.

Thursday 22nd:

Scarlett’s passport came through the mail today. I’m so excited for our holiday now. I was worried the passport people would reject it due to her picture or something but thankfully they are more lenient with under 2s. We are now checked in for our flights online. I needed all of our passport numbers to do. And I have!!!!

My mom dated a guy the year after my step-dad left her. And he cheated on her for 4 months before they split. He denied this. But we know it’s true. Anyway he and my mom always stayed in contact as friends. He was told by his new missus he can’t be friends with my mom. Insecure much? This breeds from being “the other woman” to a guy who cheated WITH YOU. And many times she removed my moms number from this guys phone. Talk about controlling. But whatevs! This woman he cheated with became his partner from the moment they met all the way up till now. Well this woman’s daughter called my mom up and accused my mom off sleeping with him. As my mom pointed out, 1) she’s in a very happy relationship, 2) he cheated on her so why the F would she want his ass back and 3) how the F would any of their menial “hello how are you” texts ever convey there was anything untoward going on. She said all this and basically told the girl to fuck off. She told me and I sent her ex (from 8 fucking years ago, like for real who even cares about people from that long ago) a shitty message telling him to get his fucking women under control and stop dragging my mom into his BS. I told him that he knows he’s not suppose to be friends with my mom and because he failed to do as he’s fucking told she’s now been on the receiving end of some shitty outburst.

It’s gets better. He never responded. Surprise! Not! Turns out it’s their Wedding Day on Saturday. That woman would be stupid to marry him. She knows he’s a cheater and she clearly thinks he still does so why marry him.

Friday 23rd:

For the first time in ages it was just me and my mom. No men. Oh, and Scarlett, obviously. So we put her to bed, grabbed some alcohol and watched a film. It was nice.

Her new high chair came today. I think she likes it!!


Saturday 24th:

Scarlett had her first swimming lesson at 12. We arrived at 10 to 12. I was already in my swim stuff so I just had to sort her into her swim suit. I had bought her a neoprene nappy cover and a neoprene all-in-one to stop her getting cold. She did really well. She let the instructor take her around the pool for a minute without me. She walked on a float before holding my hands and sliding into the water. She kicked. She waved her arms to move the water in a motion. We sang songs. Overall it was good. I was really proud of her. I made the rookie mistake of not checking my bag before we left. I left my bra behind. So we popped home so I could dump the wet swimming gear and grab my bra then we headed to Morrisons. We had some lunch then we did some shopping. We went home and chilled. Scarlett was tired so I put her down for a nap at 3:30 and I kind of fell asleep myself. I rarely do that. Even when she was a proper baby I didn’t nap often. She went to bed at 8:30. She’s so funny. She kept playing silly games with my hair. She likes it when it’s wet from the shower (no idea why).

We watched two movies. Bad Moms and Mother’s Day. It was nice just the two of us. I think I went to bed about 1ish.

Sunday 25th (today):

Scarlett woke up at 7ish. Gave her a bottle at 7:30 thinking she’d go back to sleep for a bit but after half hour of her rolling around she got up and whinged so we went downstairs. She had her breakfast – some fruit and a choc-au-pain then she got dressed. Mom did us some breakfast then we got dressed. We had to head to Morrisons for a cooked chicken as nan had planned for 3 of my uncle’s kids to have dinner with us so she needed more meat. We got one and then went to my Nan’s house. Scarlett was asleep when I got her out of the car so I went straight in and laid her in the stroller in the hallway. She needs her afternoon nap. She slept through Sunday dinner and woke up just after we ate so I got her out and put her in the high chair. She ate her dinner then she had pudding. My nan had managed to get some Alpro Soya ice cream. She had her first taste and she loved it. She ate the ice cream AND the cornetto too!


After we had dinner we had a cup of tea and let our dinner go down then we took her to King George V park. Her first ever trip to a park. She’s been in parks as a baby baby. But they didn’t count as she wasn’t walking etc. She loved it. She went down the slides and in the swings. She climbed EVERYTHING! We had a good time then we headed back for another cuppa then home.

I did her some supper at 6ish. She had some fruit and a slice of bread with butter. She’s like me in so many ways, it’s weird but kind of exciting. She had a bath and then for a change Nanny put her to bed. She went straight down. We stuck on a movie after having some supper ourselves. We watched The DUFF. Mom hadn’t seen it.  I love it!

I’ve just got into bed. I’m not tired. I had my first energy drink today in 8 weeks. My mom bought 2. I think she forgot I don’t drink them. Tbh neither does she now. We’ve both stopped. I quit cold turkey. She has the occasional one. I think I won’t be able I sleep tonight now!!!

Back to work tomorrow. I only have 5 days then I’m off on holiday July 3rd. I can’t wait. It should be good fun. Brett and I are taking Scarlett to Hastings for the week.

Just over 6 weeks till we go to Italy!!!!!!!

TTFN x

My heart breaks for Manchester

Friday 19th:

We got to Brett’s at 6:45. Surprisingly Scarlett hadn’t napped on the journey. She was very tired but she perked up when we arrived. We had dinner and then she had a bath then went to bed. Brett was grumpy because he is trying to quit smoking and the withdrawal is obviously too much for him.

Saturday 20th:

Brett got up with us quite early (though I suspect it was under sufferance on his part). We had breakfast then I dressed Scarlett and we went out. We went to visit Brett’s cousins. When we got back home we had some lunch then Scarlett had a nap. We decided to go to the cinema later so we had our dinner and Brett sorted out Scarlett for her bath before we left. We watched “Guardians of the Galaxy: Volume 2”. It was brilliant. I am glad we went. Scarlett was very well behaved for his mom and went to bed at about 9ish. We got back at 10:45 and there was a film on tele. I was shattered [off energy drinks still] so I climbed into bed. I must’ve nodded off as Brett woke me up climbing into bed at 1:30am.

Sunday 21st:

Scarlett woke up at 5:30am. I gave her a bottle and put her back down for a nap. Once she was up again at 8 I got her some toast with fruit for breakfast. She ate it all then I dressed her. Once she was dressed I tackled the task of getting Brett up at a reasonable time. We went out at 10:30. We walked to his foster brother’s football tournament about 20 minutes down the road. I hadn’t prepared for sunny weather because, England. So Scarlett had no sun hat or shorts etc. I kept her in the shade but I got massively sunburnt. That’ll teach me lol we had pizza when the tournament was done then we got the train home. We were home by about 7ish. Scarlett had bath, bottle and bed. I chilled and caught up with tele.

Monday 22nd:

Back to work today. Was 8 minutes late because just as we were leaving at 7:30, Scarlett did an explosive poo through her tights and vest so I had to sort her out, undress, clean and then re-dress her in new clothes. Nightmare. So we were late leaving for work. I met Mom for lunch so we could do some food shopping. We had chicken for lunch. She dropped me back for 2pm. She picked me up at 5:10pm [made up my late 8 minutes]. Scarlett was bathed when we got in. I had my dinner and she stole one of my chicken fillets, little moo. I put her up to bed at 6:45 as she was getting grumpy but she wouldn’t go down. Her room was saying it was 26 degrees. Too hot. So I put her fan on and the room cooled. She was asleep by about 8ish. Mom and I watched tele together. We tried to share a bottle of rosé but I hate wine so I only drank half my glass [shocking I know]. I went to bed about 11ish.

Tuesday 23rd:

I woke up this morning to messages from American pals asking me if I was okay? Apparently some vile scumbags decided to bomb Manchester Arena last night after Ariana Grande’s concert. My pals were concerned as they have no clue how close or far I live to Manchester, and they’d seen the news reports [being hours behind the UK]. I assured them I was fine, so was Scarlett. Then I switched BBC on and looked at the news reports over what happened. My heart hurts for my country. For all the innocent people. For the teenagers/children who went to the concert not expecting anything more than just a fun night. The reports say that there are 22 confirmed dead and almost 60 people injured. I am in disbelief but at the same time it is almost “oh there has been a bombing incident, again”. It is scary that these events do not shock or surprise me anymore. Either I am numb to some of the BS in the world or I am just desensitised. However on the other hand I feel like bursting into tears at the drop of a hat. I have a child. This is her world. This is where she will grow up [if she is lucky]. How do I protect her from these things when they happen randomly? Like who knew that attending that concert may be the last thing they do? No one! I have a friend who lives nearby-ish. I am thankful she has a toddler same as me, was home and away from it. I can’t imagine what people must be going through today, those who have lost someone, those who’s friends/family are injured and those few who have missing people. My heart goes to them.

18582456_1613924725307616_8855258162852085577_n

I am on lunch and I am trying to block it all out by binging on Netflix with my headphones on.

TTFN x

Baby’s First New Year’s Eve

We got the train back yesterday. Had to do a detour via Epsom. But it was okay because Epsom is a direct train from Brett’s house. Then a short train ride from there to Clapham then the usual direct 35 minute train to Farnborough. My mom picked us up from the station at 5pm. We put Scarlett to bed and watched a film then another one before going to bed.

Today we decided we wouldn’t go to a hotel for New Year’s Eve. We wanted to stay home and celebrate the New Year together. So we had a chilled day. We got Scarlett bathed and ready for bed. She had a bottle then she went to bed. We watched a film and I had a few drinks. We are just waiting for midnight so we can watch the London fireworks display on tele before watching another film.

TTFN x

Furniture Came

Mom and I decided to watch Magic Mike yesterday as it is no longer showing after today. We are glad we watched it as it was a good film. The baby furniture I ordered from Argos was delivered this morning. At the moment it is blocking our downstairs hallway because it can’t go in the baby’s room until space has been sorted for it. The room needs sorting soon so I can get the wardrobe and chest of drawers up because I want to be able to put baby clothes in there once I have bought them. So far I have only only bought a few vests, baby grows, a hat, scratch mitts and gloves. I intend to buy more bits, now and then, so I can build up a little wardrobe of stuff for the baby. I know people will undoubtedly buy clothes when I have my baby shower but I want to buy my own bits too.

I took the day off work so I could wait for the furniture delivery. I also had dentist tonight. The lady said my gums are red and tender because I am pregnant but not to worry. She says as long as I clean my wisdom teeth properly, to ensure no bacteria gets under my gums, then I should be fine.

We are going on holiday on Monday. Which is also payday so that is great.

TTFN x

Back to work I go

Well Saturday I went into town for some new undies and I bought some slippers along with 2 new tops. After town I stopped at Nan’s for a cuppa then mom picked me up for dinner with her and her boyfriend. We went to the Harvester. I wasn’t overly hungry so I didn’t eat as much as I would have liked. At 8:30 mom and I went to the cinema to watch Spy. It was freaking hilarious. We got home late but luckily I don’t work Sunday’s so I had a nice lay in.

We had dinner at Nan’s yesterday then in the afternoon we went up the old folks place to see my gran. She’s getting more battier every time we see her. I think her dementia is getting worse :(

Today I was back at work. It wasn’t a totally bad day considering what a shit day I had Friday so that was good.

I am 7 weeks tomorrow. I wasn’t sure I would bother with the whole “weekly bump” picture mostly because I’m fat and I actually already look really pregnant lol but here goes my 7 weeks bump (a day early)

IMG_6083.PNG

7 weeks

There you have it. My bump pic of me wearing my spongebobs pants (which are new btw).

Last night my brother and his girlfriend were shouting at each other at midnight so I told them to shut it. Then my brothers friends thought it was appropriate to make lots of noise at 1am whilst playing Xbox!

I am currently in bed just finishing watching a film called The Gunman on my iPad then I am off to bed.

TTFN x