Third Time’s The Charm, hopefully!

Monday was a chilled evening. I watched some TV and just relaxed. I haven’t been sleeping great since we moved in so I am trying to relax, even if I don’t sleep.

Tuesday Brett got the train down to see us. He was originally coming Thursday/Friday. He primarily came to see Scarlett. We had a nice evening and we went to bed.

Wednesday I went to work and Brett stayed at mine. At 12:30 my Nan dropped Scarlett to him, at my flat. He had her all afternoon. I got home at almost 6. I cooked us dinner then we put Scarlett to bed at like 8:30. We watched some TV and had a chat about there potentially being an us again. Maybe.

Thursday I went to work and Brett did the same. Scarlett did a really nasty poo and it went everywhere so he was flustered about that when I got in. She did another when I got home so I sorted that. She had had bellyache all week so far. She went to bed at 7:30 like usual. I had cooked us all dinner. We watched some TV and had a proper conversation. We got everything out. Laid it all on the table. What we want from each other. What we want from life. What we think went wrong. What we’ll do better, what we will both do better. He is my bestfriend. He is legit my bestfriend! He’s the first person I speak to, and want to speak to, when I wake up. We decided this would be the last time of trying. If we cannot make it work then we’ll call it quits for good and go our separate ways.

Friday I went to work and Brett stayed at mine. I told him to help himself to food and the TV etc. When me and Scarlett got home at 5ish Brett and I decided we’d give her a bath then walk to my Nan’s for the evening. So she had her bath then my brother and his girlfriend came round. We all walked around my Nan’s at 7ish. We stayed there till 10ish. Scarlett went to bed at 10:30. We watched some TV then we got into bed. We stayed up till 2am chatting. It was nice. It was just like when we first met. It was good!

Saturday we were woken up at 7:30 by Scarlett. We expected her to lay in after her late night but she didn’t. We decided to eat breakfast in town so we grabbed our stuff and jumped on the bus. We went to Poppins Cafe before heading to the train station. We got to his area at 12:15. His mom picked us up from the station. Scarlett was really excited to see her Nanny. We had some lunch at 2ish then at 3pm we put Scarlett down for a nap. She fell down the stairs. Brett was at the top, she was following behind him. She lost her balanced and went backwards. Luckily his brother was at the bottom. He caught her. She cried, due to the shock more than anything. She was fine.

At 6ish we sorted some dinner then Brett and I went to the cinema for 8:15. We watched Black Panther. It was a really good film and we were glad to have gone to see it. We got back at 11ish. Scarlett went to bed at 10. She was flat out sleeping.

I climbed into bed at half 11. I was tired. We stayed up chatting till 1 then we went to sleep.

Sunday I woke up at 9ish to Scarlett sitting on the end of the bed. She had climbed out the cot, onto the bed. We snuggled under the duvet with Brett for 10 minutes. Then we all got up and had breakfast. She played with her Uncle “dot” and her nanny. We watched a film on sky called Unforgettable. It was good. We had dinner at 2:30 then we grabbed our stuff and got in the car. We drove to Guildford as Brett had an appointment at 5pm then we drove home. Scarlett got in the bath then we watched In The Night Garden. I put her down at 7:30. She was still awake at 9:30 and I stupidly decided now was a good time to take the side off her cot, so she could have a big girl bed. It wasn’t a good idea. I got it off but putting the rest back together was hard. Especially as she was “helping” me. I called my bro and he came and gave me a hand. We put it back together then I put her to bed again. She went straight to sleep. He got rid of a mahoosive spider that was terrorising me in the lounge then he left. I settled down to watch some TV then I climbed into bed as well. Think I nodded off about midnight.

Today [Monday] has been the longest ever. Me and my manager sat down to look at what I do on a day-to-day basis so she has a clue of what I get up to. When I am on annual leave she doesn’t cover me because she wouldn’t know where to start and no one tends to die when I am off for a week. But she said she should know a bit more. So we went through a termination I received. It should’ve been straight forward, removing 26 sites and their tasks. No. Just no! It’s taken a whole day, between 2 people. We came up against obstacle after obstacle. Wanted to bang my head against the wall all day. Honestly, proper headache. We finally got to the end at like 4:30.

Mom has just picked me up as we’re going food shopping on our way home. I desperately need some stuff otherwise I shan’t be eating all week. Then we’ll head home.

TTFN x

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The Doctor copped a feel

Friday Brett didn’t arrive until almost 1am. Because I had fell asleep when I came home sick from work, I wasn’t tired yet so we watched some tele then went to bed about 3am.

Saturday Scarlett woke up at about 8am. Not too bad considering she went to bed at 9:30. She had her bottle in bed with us. She spoke to Brett but he was half asleep. I took her downstairs. She opened her advent for Days 1 and 2. As well as her first and second days of Book Advent. Her book was Fox’s Socks. Day 2 book was Princess Mirror-Belle and Snow White.

We had porridge for breakfast then I put her down for a nap. We were due to go out at 11. We didn’t leave until 11:30. Oops! We went to Camberley to take Scarlett to see santa. As you can see it went as well as last year!

After Santa we went and grabbed lunch at Wetherspoons. Scarlett had salmon fish cake, mash, peas and some cucumber and peppers as a side. I had a chicken burger and chips. Brett had steak and chips. Food was pretty good. Scarlett ate so much. We hadn’t taken the stroller with us so she was walking a lot but she’s still so little so we also carried her a bit too. Man she’s heavy lol

After lunch we went to Primark as my nan had asked me to get 2 gift vouchers for my cousins for Christmas. I also picked up matching Christmas headbands for me and Scarlett then we got a lift to my nans. We had a cup of tea then at 4 we headed home.

Scarlett had some fruit and a yoghurt for dinner (she ate loads at lunch) then Brett bathed her and then after a bottle and storytime she went to bed at 7. She went straight down like a good girl.

We ordered some dinner and watched Criminal Minds catch-up with my mom. My dinner took ages!! Brett’s came and he’d eaten it long before mine came. We had separate because he wanted pizza and I didn’t.

He has a bath whilst I read my book in bed. We were going to watch a film but I had bellyache so I went to sleep about 11. My grandad’s Birthday is today. He’s 68.

Sunday Scarlett woke at 8:45. That’s some epic sleep she had. She must’ve had almost 14 hours sleep! She had a bottle then she had toast (she asked for it). I had porridge and of course she had to share it when she’d finished hers lol

Scarlett opened Day 3 of Book Advent which was the book Everyone Loves Underpants.

We woke Brett up at 10. I put Scarlett down for a nap at 10:30. We climbed back into bed for cuddles and just relaxed. We woke her up at 12:30 so we could go shopping then to my Nan’s for dinner. I had to stock up on nappies and wipes. We bunged it in my mom’s boot then we went to my nan’s house. We left at 4:30. I stuck Shrek on and Scarlett actually sat with us to watch it for ages. I took her up for bath time and Brett left to get the train home at like 6ish.

She and I read a story. She had her bottle then I put her to bed.

Today she did not want to get up. I don’t blame her, I didn’t want to either! She got dressed, had her bottle whilst I made my lunch then my Nan turned up so I could leave for work. I got to work and set about playing catching up from being sick on Friday. I made an epic dent in my emails and managed to finally load AIR on to the system. I did a mini victory dance because we’ve waited too long to load AIR!!!!

I left work at 3:15 as I had my hospital appointment. We managed to get parked in the middle of the day. That’s so rare! I got seen at 4:10 so only 20 minutes late. The doctor asked me a bunch of questions and then did a check. Said it all seemed normal and sent me on my way. Weird considering my GP said she was sending me for a scan. But nonetheless I’ve been discharged from the hospital so if I have any more issues or am not happy in the new year I’ll go back to my GP.

After the hospital we went to pick Scarlett up. She does a full day at Nursery on Mondays. My mom usually picks her up at 4:30 then me at 5. My nan picked her up so we got her from her house. She was having a yoghurt when we got there. Apparently she had already “helped” Grandad to feed the dog. She loves doing that. Her and Marley are BFFs.

We went home and Scarlett had some fruit as she was “hungry” – she wasn’t she was peckish. She has dinner at Nursery lol we watched some teletubbies and she opened her Day 4 on her advent calendar, as well as her Book Advent. The book was Stories for 3 Year Olds. She went for a bath then she went to bed at 7.

Mom is off tonight so we’re watching tele and having a relaxing evening.

TTFN x

It’s the weekend!!!

Wednesday I had a shower then some food. I didn’t watch Doc Martin because last weeks episode was the finale apparently. That annoyed me.

Thursday was just so long. Brett started speaking to me. I watched riverdale during my lunch break. It’s getting interesting. Brett FaceTimed to speak to Scarlett before she went to bed. I watched Emmerdale then I finished watching the Assassin’s Creed movie. It’s not that bad actually considering it’s derived from a video game!

Friday (today) I didn’t want to get up. My head felt heavy and I felt really off balance. I went in to wake Scarlett. She didn’t want to get up either. It was pyjama day for Children in Need so I got her in some clean pyjamas but she was really upset. She was crying and kept trying to hug me, cling on to me. I took her downstairs to do her bottle and make my lunch for Work. She wouldn’t be put down. Normally she will sit on the sofa watching teletubbies. I’d make her bottle and she’d drink it whilst I make my lunch. Not today. Today she wanted to be near me. So I ended up having her sat on the kitchen worktop whilst I made my sandwiches next to her. She had her bottle in the car in the end. I went to work and my mom drove her to Nursery.

The nursery called me at 2:30 to ask if Scarlett was able to have her face painted, due to her eczema. I said she should be fine. So they painted her face and I was sent some pictures on Tapestry to view. She looked cute!

We managed to get to the station for 10 last 5. But we missed the 5:15 train. We got on the 5:30 train but it had an extra change. It had a change at Woking as well as Clapham. Which is fine. We got off at 6:45. Scarlett didn’t need dinner so Brett bathed her and I did her bottle. She went to bed at 8:15ish. She was flat out. We ate our dinner. We had fish and chips. Well I had saveloy as I don’t like fish. It was nice.

I went into Bretts bedroom to get ready for bed. I flicked the lamp on low because unlike my house, Scarlett has to share Brett’s room. I went to take my jeans off and kicked his weights that’s on the floor. I knew I couldn’t make a sound. Instead I just stood there glaring angrily at myself in his mirror waiting for the throbbing pain to subside. I’ve checked the damage and it doesn’t look like it’s done much. If it’ll bruise, it’ll come out tomorrow. So we’ll see. Can’t believe it did.

Scarlett snoring. Brett’s faffing then he’ll be coming to bed. I’m so tired and I’ve got this pain in my head that won’t go away.

TTFN x

Wednesday, again.

Monday I woke up with a headache, still. Work was busy. I was locked out of the database when I got in to work. So I had to phone IT and get that sorted. Had to catch up on all of the things from Friday I had uploaded. Brett and I had a row. He is now not talking to me so I am in for one quiet week #goals

Tuesday our new temp started. She was told to come in at 9am on her first day. This was to give us an hour to make sure everything was up-to-date and working for her. But she was told 8am by her agency so she showed up too early. Her laptop was suppose to be up and running but it wasn’t. IT had crashed the day before so they must’ve spent all day fixing that instead. So she had no access to the internet so she was unable to sign into Maximo nor use her emails nor use our shared drive. It was ridiculous. I watched Lucifer on my lunch break and Once upon a time before watching Bridget Jones’ Baby in bed.

Today I just did not want to get up. I just feel so mentally drained. I really need to find a new job. There is a potential role in Camberley. The guy sent my CV over to the client so we’ll see what happens.

I got the photo’s back over the weekend from Scarlett’s Milk and Cookies shoot. Above is just a few favourites for a sneak peak.

Tonight I am going to put Scarlett to bed then have a nice hot shower and then catch up with Doc Martin at 9pm. I have just still got a headache and it’s doing my head in [excuse the pun].

TTFN x

A quiet weekend

Friday we stopped for a bite to eat on the way home as we had stopped not too far away at Tesco to stock up on some bare essentials. I also got Scarlett 6 pairs of pyjamas as her old ones are too short for her now, finally. We had some food and then we headed home. Scarlett went to bed at usual time. She was shattered after our long week away.

Saturday she didn’t wake until 9am. What a lovely lay-in. She got up, had a bottle, we watched some teletubbies and then she had breakfast. She was tired still so I put her back to bed at 10:30am. I had to wake her for swimming. We were late and then I discovered I had left my swimsuit at home. I told the swim teacher my predicament and explained that I was sorry but Scarlett would have to miss it this week. She said that if I didn’t mind, she would take her and swim with her. She said as we were down to half the class [usually there is 4 of us but today there was only 2 including Scarlett]. So Scarlett did her lesson with the teacher. After swimming we went home for lunch. She had her lunch then she went back down for a nap. She was still asleep at 3:45 when I left to go to the cinema. I had a hot dog and a slushie. I don’t usually have food but I was hungry. I watched the new “IT” movie. It wasn’t scary but very creepy. It was only down as a 15 so there was a bunch of “teenagers” in there and every time you saw his hand or reflection or something equally as non-scary you’d hear squeals. Like seriously? I enjoyed the movie and I think Bill Skarsgard did the role brilliantly. I know Tim Currie did the original Pennywise but you cannot compare the two. Bill brought something different to the character. It seems they are splitting the book between 2 movies instead of condensing it in to 1 movie, like the first movie was done. So I look forward to IT chapter 2. After the cinema I got the bus back to home. Scarlett was in bed but still awake. I popped up and said Hi to her and goodnight. She was so pleased to see me. She had a quick chat on FaceTime with Brett then I put her to bed properly.

Mom and I toasted her completion of her NVQ level 3 in Care. She started it when I was pregnant but so much personal stuff had come up and she had put it on the back burner. I am so proud of her because this year she worked her ass off to complete it. And it wasn’t easy as some of the physical attributes to the NVQ required my mom to be shadowed by her NVQ assessor, at work, doing stuff. But my mom’s work life has been really disruptive this year as she was made redundant and changed jobs twice since for various reasons. And she was in hospital last month. But she did it. So we toasted with some Martini Asti.

Sunday Scarlett woke up at 8ish. She had a bottle then some breakfast. We started watching Hotel Transylvania 2 together but she ditched me for a nap. That’s fine, I watched it by myself. I love that movie. She woke up at 1:30pm. I dressed her then mom and I took her to the park. We all needed the fresh air. We played for a bit but there was too many boisterous asshole kids pushing past her, and she banged her cheek. So we left the play area and wandered on the open field. I had brought her bubbles so she chased them lol we went home after and watched Shrek 4. Mom cooked some dinner at 5:30. Scarlett was bathed at 6 and in bed by 6:45. She had been whinging to go to bed since 4 lol it took a lot of energy to keep her up as long as I did.

Mom and I watched some tele. I tidied up the toys in the front room then I got in the shower. After I finished I came down to watch Victoria. I love it. Now it is finished I am in bed.

I am back at work tomorrow. I wonder what that will bring. I bet I have a bunch of emails and shit has changed. I have anxiety just thinking about it. But it feeds my kid. I forgot to say, I got a letter whilst away from my company saying I was getting a salary increased effective from this month. I have gained about £1300 a year. Not bad.

TTFN x

16 years, never forgotten

I had the best weekend I’ve had in ages. It was really chilled. We barely got up to much and it was great. Brett got here at about 10:45pm. We opened the bottle of Prosecco he brought with him. We had a nice long catch up of our day and then we went up to bed. Scarlett woke up on Saturday at 8:15. I got her from her cot, brought her into my bed so she could see Brett. She climbed all over him and gave him kisses. I said I’d leave him for a bit, wake him in a bit. So I scooped her up and took her downstairs for a bottle and some teletubbies. We practised doing her puzzles. She is getting very good at them now. She had some breakfast then I dressed her and took her upstairs to wake Brett before putting her down for a nap. I woke her up at about 12:30 before my grandad arrived to drop us off at her swimming lesson. She did so well with the lesson, she remembered more than I expected and Brett managed to film a lot of the lesson as he was sat on the sideline watching. He had not been before so that was nice.

After swimming we walked to Farnborough Gate Retail Park for some lunch. It was nice having some family time, just the 3 of us. After lunch we walked to my Nan’s house. Scarlett loves going there because they have a garden she can play in [not that she managed to because it was raining]. She went down for a nap a 3ish and didn’t wake till almost 5. We had dinner at my Nan’s then we walked home. I did bath time and Brett did bottle and bed time. Then we took turns getting in the shower then we went downstairs and watched a movie. We watched the Seventh Son. Brett has never seen it. I watched it when pregnant. Good movie. We went to bed quite late which was silly as one of us has to get up with the toddler lol

She woke up at 8:45am which is an epic lay in for my little princess. We did bottle then woke up Brett. I made us all breakfast at 10am as we were headed out at about 10:30 to go visit my Gran. Brett has never met her so was about time. We stayed until about 12 then we left for home. I put Scarlett down for a nap and then we relaxed. It was nice having some one-to-one time as well as family time. When she woke up we got ready and headed out for some food. We went to town and had a nice meal at Poppins café. After we ate we took her to the soft play at the leisure centre. Brett kicked his shoes off and went in with her for half hour whilst I read my book [which I have now finished]. I was reading “A bucket list to mend a broken heart”. I couldn’t put it down.

We left town at 4ish. I put Brett’s phone on charge whilst he packed his stuff up then at 5:30 my Nan picked him up and dropped him to the train station. After he left I bathed Scarlett and then we snuggled watching teletubbies. She was really worn out after soft play so she asked to go to bed. So at 6:30 I made her bottle and took her up. By the time she had drank it, had a kiss and a cuddle and laid down it was 6:45. By 7:15 she was flat out. I tidied up the kitchen, took the recycling out, put away clean dishes from the draining board and washed up the dirty stuff. I put her toys away in the front room so there was space to hoover [Mom is doing that] and I then got ready for a bed and settled in front of the TV to catch up with Bitten. I managed 5 minutes before my phone rang and ended up on FaceTime with Brett for an hour and a half lol I don’t mind. When we hung up I carried on watching. By then my mom was home. We had a mini catch up then she went and got in bed. I watched the episode, then another and before I knew it was midnight so I crawled into bed and hoped I wouldn’t be too tired.

Today came and I was tired as expected lol I feel like I barely sleep even though my FitBit says I got almost 6 hours. I was just about on time to work. Bloody traffic and shitty weather. My work pal’s dog has gone missing. She was with her dog walker and she just ran off. She has been spotted but someone [it was shared on Facebook] but when my pals mom got there, she couldn’t see her. She hasn’t been seen since. The biggest worry is that the dog Izzy has epilepsy. And this can be triggered by stress/anxiety. She could have a fit if she is scared or the noise of the cars on the busy road. That is another worry. There is main roads near where she was last seen. She is a dog. They don’t have great road sense. I hope for my pals sake they find her soon.

Today marks 16 years since the fall of the twin towers. And since all those people died. I wasn’t there and I wasn’t remotely aware of the whole incident as I was only 10 and our school that day decided to keep us in the dark, which is understandable. But as I got older and learned more about it I realised what happened was such an awful, despicable thing. People lost their lives. Their lives. Families lost their loved ones. Firefighters, police officers, medical personnel, whoever the hell else – they did their utmost best to help everyone. A lot of “off duty” people rallied. They literally showed that United States is called “United” for a reason. We will never forget the people who died, were injured or even those who survived. Nor will we forget the helpers, the heroes and all those in between. We stand, united, as humans.

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TTFN x

5 days till Italy

So I got up with Scarlett at 7:45am. Was a decent lay in. She had a bottle and a nappy change. We watched some teletubbies and she sat on my lap for ages, which made me think she was probably tired. I made her breakfast then I put her down for a nap. Brett got up just before 10 and we had a bicker in the kitchen because he had pissed me off in the morning by almost knocking me out when dreaming [which itself isn’t an issue] and then when I was nice and asked if he was ok/dreaming? He got really attitudinal with me and then he was whinging that Scarlett was crying [I was putting her down for a nap] so I swore at him and left the bedroom. He came out a bit later and yeah we argued. His mom decided to get in the middle and told us to grow up. Brett was annoyed because he wouldn’t interfere in her relationship with his Dad, so she shouldn’t do it to us. But her argument was that it’s her house and she doesn’t want arguing in her house. She said [not to me, to Brett whilst I sat there feeling awkward as fuck] that I need to learn to “handle” him better. I am still young apparently and bite too quickly. Not sure having the hump over his attitude is anything to do with my age, just the fact I don’t like being spoken to like shit. But anyways, I was just still angry so I kept my mouth shut and sat there like a fucking lemon feeling more awkward by the minute.

We went into the shops once Scarlett woke up from her morning nap. I felt sick because I was so hungry as it was lunch time at this point. And we went into the pet store and it stank I almost vommed lol so I waited outside. We headed back. Scarlett had a sandwich and then I put her back down for a nap at half 2. She woke up just in time for dinner at 4ish. She didn’t eat much dinner, which I expected as she had just woke up. Brett and his dad had a blazing row in the kitchen whilst washing up. Not entirely sure what it was over. I was in the lounge changing Scarlett’s shitty nappy so I only heard snippets. They’ve never rowed when we’ve been there before. So was a little unsettling to hear 2 grown men going at each other. Scarlett obviously could hear and it upset her a little. Contrary to what you may believe, we don’t yell at each other in my house an we certainly have never in front of Scarlett. Brett picked her up when he had calmed down and I packed our stuff up. His mom drove us to the station at 6. Our train was 6:18pm. We got home at 7:30. My mom picked us up and we went home.

She had a bath and went to bed for 8:30ish. I had a quick shower myself and then caught up with Midnight, Texas that was on Thursday. Mom and I went up to bed at about 10ish. I was quite tired so I am thinking of going to sleep soon. Just laid in bed with my lovely mosquito bites that are itchy. I keep coming across a new one. So far I have 5.

5 days until Italy. I should count “sleeps”. So we have Sunday night, Monday night, Tuesday night, Wednesday night and Thursday night so that is 5 sleeps. Getting closer and I feel unprepared lol

TTFN x