How To Alienate Your Ex

Friday we stayed home instead of going to my Nan’s. Scarlett went to bed at 7:30. I did myself some dinner then I relaxed. I really love having my freedom. I can wander around our flat naked if I wish. I can sit on my sofa eating my dinner no matter the time. I can leave the washing up and no one is going to moan at me about it.

Saturday we got up at 8:30. I did us breakfast then we watched Monster Family movie on Sky Cinema. I put her down for a nap. When she woke up at 2ish we went food shopping with my mom. I stocked up on nappies. We aren’t Potty Training just yet. She dropped us home with our shopping. Scarlett seemed tired and we were due to have a later dinner for my cousin’s birthday. I put Scarlett in a nice dress and off we went for dinner at 7. We went to the Harvester. I had steak and chips. Scarlett had fish fingers and chips with peas. She LOVES peas. We went to my Nan’s house afterwards for a cup of tea. We got home at 10. She was in bed at 10:30. I stayed up watching TV then I climbed into bed.

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Sunday we got up at 9am. Nice little lay in for me. We were going to visit my Gran in the old folks home but we couldn’t due to no room in the car. So we stayed home. I tried to put Scarlett down for a nap at 11ish. She just rolled around my bed for 2 hours. Fun times. We got ourselves ready and walked to my Nan’s house. It was raining and we got soaked. We had dinner at about 2:45. She didn’t eat much and she was very obviously tired. We stayed till 6pm then we went home. I did her bath and then at 7ish mom turned up for a cuppa tea. Scarlett went to bed at 7:30. Mom and I watched TV. At 8:30 I made us cheese on toast then she had tea and left for home. I got in the bath then caught up on some TV before heading to bed.

I’ve not been sleeping properly since we moved in. My flat is nowhere near the motorway even though I live in the same group of roads as my mom. But 23 years next to the motorway and this flat is eerily quiet. I have been mad tired for like a week now but I think I am slowly getting use to it.

So as you know, me and Brett split up. My choice. I felt all we did was row, and tear each other down. I figured splitting up we could maybe remain friends. Maybe remember why we liked each other in the first place. And hopefully salvage that friendship we had. He still makes me laugh. I still make him laugh. Less so now that he knows I have been chatting to guys. More so one in particular. He hates 1 guy and for good reason, and he said if I touch this guy then he and I are done for good, he’ll never touch me again. Which in 1 respect is like “Well we ain’t together so it doesn’t matter” but on another it’s like “Wow ok, that’s made you pissed and hurt” and I felt bad that he was angry and upset. It wasn’t intentional. He asked me to be honest. He said he’d rather know what I was up to. So I told him. Part of me wishes I hadn’t but saying it out loud has made it real. We genuinely are done. There is no going back. He wouldn’t want me now even if I said I changed my mind or wanted to try again. I told him I hope he meets someone who makes him feel like he’s on top of the world. He deserves that. I want him to be happy. He replied with “I did. And I was”. Thanks lol

Not up to much tonight. Just going to sort Scarlett out for bath and bed. Then have my dinner and chill. I really need to start sleeping better. At work I am struggling. Need to catch up on Criminal Minds and Blindspot tonight then bedtime for 10:30/11ish.

TTFN x

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50 shades of pure cheese!

Friday Brett got here relatively earlier than usual. My Nan picked him up from the train station at like 9:15 so he was at mine for 9:30. We watched some TV and then climbed into bed.

Saturday Scarlett woke up quite early. About 7ish. I got her up and out the cot at 8. I did her some breakfast. She had some fruit and a yoghurt. We watched some TV, did some colouring and she played with my hair. At 9:30 we came upstairs to get Brett up. Mom did us some breakfast. She cooked. We headed down town to the bank as I needed to transfer some money. Then we headed to my nan’s. We stopped for a few cups of tea. At 3pm we headed Home to pack a few bits for our night “away” then we set off for town. We checked in at the hotel, dumped our stuff then headed back to town. Brett needed some new clothes so we hit up Sports Direct then we went back to the hotel. We put the TV and chilled for a bit. We decided we’d eat at 7ish as movie was 8:40. We ended up eating at 7:30/8ish. We went to the Tilly in town (Wetherspoons). Cheap meal and good food. I was stuffed.

We watched 50 shades freed. It wasn’t bad but it wasn’t as intense as the book. And I feel their stuffed the good bits (kidnapping) into a small 5 minute segment. It could’ve been much more exciting than that. Also it just felt so damn cheesy. Eurgh!

After the movie finished we walked back to the hotel. We put the Winter Olympics on. We stayed up chatting about EVERYTHING. It was really nice and good fun. But we didn’t realise how late it was and when we finally laid our heads down to sleep it was half 3 in the morning. Not ideal.

Sunday I woke up at 8ish with my alarm but I reset it for 9 and went back to sleep. I got up at 9 and jumped in the shower. I needed to get the make up off my face and wash my hair. When I was done I woke Brett up. We checked out just after 10 and walked back to the Tilly for breakfast. Brett didn’t eat. He never does lol I did though, I was hungry.

We jumped on the bus and headed to my Nan’s. Scarlett was happy to see us, for all of 5 minutes. We stayed there for dinner then we headed home at like 4ish. Brett packed his stuff and he left to go home at 5:30. I sorted Scarlett some supper then we did our Weekend Box. 1 of the things was a creative thing. We created dinosaur claws. The other was a cooking/baking thing. We made chocolate rice crispy cakes.

After we made the cakes we watched half of Dancing on Ice. She proper loves it. We did bath time then we watched the rest. She went to bed but she sang for ages. She’s so funny!

Today I woke up to a little horror scene. Since having the coil fitted I’ve been in a weird pattern of having my period one month but skipping the next totally. My periods had gotten lighter. It was great. But today was nasty. I wasn’t expecting it but I had skipped January so I figured at some point something would come. I’ve felt drained all day. I’ve also had a bad headache too. Awesome!

Tonight Scarlett told my mom she didn’t like her. It was in reply to my mom yelling at her to move as she was standing underneath my mom when she was trying to make tea. Hot water is never ideal. She said “me no like you nanny” then stomped out. Teenager alert! Lol

I watched Criminal Minds as it’s back on but now I’m in bed because my head in banging. I’ve taken more paracemtol as it’s been 4 hours now.

TTFN x

Waiting to hear from the estate agent

Thursday I viewed both properties. The first one, the one in Anglesey Avenue, was brilliant. I liked it immediately. The second one was alright but not a fave. I asked if I could put myself forward for the first one. I signed the forms and that was it. I went back to work.

I was called by the agent who explained that as there was 2 offers it had been down to the landlord to make a choice. He had been unable and wanted to meet each prospective tenant. So I agreed to meet him at 5:30 Friday at the estate agents office. Not ideal as I get the train to Brett’s at 5:15 so we’d be a bit later than usual.

I watched Death in Paradise then I packed our stuff for the weekend at Brett’s house.

Friday I went to work like normal. Was a slow day. I felt really drained and it seemed to drag. I met my mom for lunch. We went to Poppins in town. At 5 she picked me up from work and we drove to Bridges office in Frimley. We were early so we sat inside waiting. Scarlett did a poo so mom took her back to the car to sort her. The landlord turned up and we went into a meeting room to have a chat. He seems very nice and is a seasoned landlord so he knows what he’s doing. He asked me things my age, Scarlett’s age, do I work, where do I work, where I’m from, where I live and how long for, any pets, what do I want from life, long term goals, what I thought of the property etc. We parted ways at 6 and thankfully we got on the 6:15 train and were at Hackbridge for 7:45. We grabbed McDonald’s on our way from the station. Scarlett went to bed at 10ish.

Saturday she woke up at 7ish. I got up with her. Did her some toast and a cup of tea. I dressed her and she went shopping at 10 with Brett’s mom. I used my free time to get dressed and chill out. Brett was up by then. We discussed the cinema. When they got back from shopping we walked down the road to Asda. We had lunch then we wandered around. I bought myself some new bras and knickers as well as a new top plus I got Scarlett a new book, new sandals for summer and socks.

We walked back home. Scarlett fell asleep on the walk home so we left her in the stroller in the hallway. I was shattered so I laid on Brett’s bed then fell asleep for like 45 minutes. He woke me up throwing my slipper at me. Not sure why he has to be such a knob. I was clearly tired as I never fall asleep in the day and he woke up just to tell me I was snoring. Twat!

When she was up we played then at 7 I cooked us some dinner. Brett had a bad head so he’d gone to lay down. The meds kicked in and he was ok just as I dished up dinner so we ate together. She had her yoghurt for pudding. Brett got in the bath and then we got ready to head out. We got to the cinema at 8:35. As usual we were late because we were waiting for Brett. Luckily films don’t start for 20 minutes. We queued up to get tickets. Usually we do this online but I have a vue gift card as a Christmas present which you have to activate at the cinema. So we got tickets and drinks then went to find our seats. We watched Den of Thieves. It was actually quite good. It finished at 11:15 and we waited to be picked up.I was tired as I’d been in the cinema without my glasses so my eyes felt strained. I laid in bed and waited for Brett to go to sleep. I can block out his snoring but he can’t mine, so I have to wait for him to fuck off to sleep lol

Sunday (today) Scarlett woke up at 7 again. I took her into the lounge for some breakfast. She ate whilst we watched a film. I put on Moana. It’s actually a really lovely film and she watched about 60-70% of it. We went in at 9:30 to wake Brett up. He never wants to get up. And Scarlett whacking him in the balls by accident didn’t help. We left him to it and about 15 minutes later he came out of the bedroom. We watched the Winter Olympics. Scarlett played and followed Scott around. The dog tried to sit on Scott’s lap and when Scarlett noticed she got very annoyed. She said “no buster, move. My Scott”. It was very funny.

We didn’t stay for dinner today. I wanted to get home. So we had sandwiches at 1pm then we left at 2:30pm to catch the 2:53 train. As usual we were late leaving. We got there and the lift wasn’t working so Brett carried everything up the stairs. Then I went to use the platform lift and it was taking too long that the train pulled up so I stood at the top of the stairs with the stroller and my weekend bag trying to figure it out. A guy offered to help so between us we managed and we ran for the train. We made it!

We got off at Clapham junction 6 minutes later then after a 15 minute wait, we got back on a train for Home. At 4pm we arrived and my nan picked us up. We went back to hers instead of Home as Scarlett wanted to see Grandad, and Marley. We had a cup of tea then we walked home at 5:30pm.

We had soup and bread for dinner. She loves soup. She actually spooned some of my soup into her bowl. Greedy! She had a yoghurt after then I took her up for a bath. I ended up in the bath with her. I washed my hair under the shower then we got out. At 7:30 I made her bottle then we settled to watch some Dancing on Ice. She loves it. She watches so intently then when they finish she sits up properly and claps. It’s the cutest thing. I took her up to bed at 8:15 and she went straight to sleep. I watched the first episode of Requiem. Very odd. Not sure my mom would cope watching it alone, she’s a wimp. I went up to bed at 10:30. I’m just laid here now. May read a bit of my book (first book of 2018) then go to sleep.

It’s shrove Tuesday this week (pancakes) then Valentine’s Day Wednesday. Brett and I are spending a night away Saturday. Should be fun. We’re going to watch 50 shades freed.

TTFN x

6 days till Italy

So we managed to get on the train at 5:15 yesterday and we arrived at 6:30. That's 45 minutes earlier than usual. We always have a takeaway on a Friday at Brett's so we had McDonald's and then Brett bathed Scarlett. Then I gave her a bottle and I put her to bed. We watched some of the World Althetics things on tv then I got into bed. Brett fell asleep at 11pm. I kept waking up because of various things and I had a shit nights sleep.
His dad came in this morning to wake him for work and Scarlett woke up at the same time. Was about 6:45. I changed her nappy then made her a bottle. Tried to get her to nap as she didn't go to bed until late last night but she wouldn't have it lol ended up playing blocks and watching teletubbies then we had breakfast then she finally went back down. I was going to join her but I resisted the urge.
When she woke up we went shopping with Brett's mom. Scarlett munched on some chocolate animal biscuits whilst we shopped. We headed home and I made us lunch. She played a little. By 2 she was ready for a nap but I put her down and she didn't go to sleep. By this time Brett was in from work. She played some more and then I put her back down at 3ish. She woke up at 4:30.
His mom cooked me and Scarlett dinner at 5:45 as Brett wasn't hungry. So we ate. She ate the same as me plus she had a yoghurt for pudding. She's so greedy for someone so tiny. After dinner I got ready to go cinema with Brett. He was asleep so he was woken up so we could go. He wasn't even in the mood to go as he's sick with a cold. I told him we didn't have to go. But he insisted. So we went. The movie was at 7:10. He got a hotdog before it started so we sat for 15 minutes outside the screens whilst he ate then we headed in. We watched Spider-Man homecoming. It wasn't too bad. There was a young kid next to me who kept kicking my damn leg every time she moved. It got me so annoyed because I cannot tell her to stop it because she's a child and I'm likely to get stabbed in london lol if she had been a grown ass woman I'd have said to her "are your legs too long that you can't keep them to your own damn side?" Although tbf I'm still likely to get stabbed lol was really grinding on me that she was doing it.
We got picked up at 10 and when we got back Scarlett was still up. His mom said she had her bath and was just happy playing. She started to flag a bit when we got home so Brett changed her nappy and I did her a bottle. She was flat out by 10:40.
I'm now laid in Brett's bed playing solitaire on my phone whilst he watches some film with his dad.
We're off home tomorrow. Back to reality but on the upside, I'm only working 4 days next week!!!
6 days left till Italy. Getting closer. Scary and exciting!!!
TTFN x

1 more sleep

Saturday:

Scarlett had her second swimming lesson on Saturday afternoon. She did really well and was much more confident doing things. I am so proud of her. She’s just a darling (and a tiny terror lol)

Brett came down Saturday afternoon. His brother drove him down to ours after work. We went to Asda to grab some last minute bits for the holiday. I managed to pick up a swimsuit for myself. It wasn’t the best one but it’ll do.

We put Scarlett to bed and then caught up with each other. We planned to watch a film but we just never got around to it.

Sunday:

We got up and watched some tele. Scarlett had a bottle then breakfast. I got Brett up at 10ish. He had a shower. We headed to my Nan’s at 1 after Scarlett woke up from her mid morning nap. We had dinner at my nan’s. Scarlett had on one of her new dresses from GAP. It’s lovely. She had a nice afternoon and we went home in the evening. Brett had a banging headache so he went for a nap and so did Scarlett. I had a headache too (due to the heat) so I just laid in the sofa watching tele.

I have finally packed for our holiday. God I forgot how stressful packing can be. Especially as it’s not just me now. It’s a toddler too.

We’ve just watched that film now. It was pretty good. It was The Mechanic sequel. We haven’t seen the first though lol

Holiday tomorrow. I’m apprehensive for the travel as we’ve got to get the train to Hastings via London. I don’t really fancy going via London lol but needs must!

TTFN x

Monday, again

Well Brett and I did get back in contact. Eventually. We agreed to meet Friday and see how we got on. I was so anxious. A lot had been said between us and I wasn’t sure it would end well but nonetheless he got the train down Friday night.

Friday:

Friday morning I dropped Scarlett at nursery. Usually the nursery don’t see me unless I am off. So I had a chat with her key worker over her progress since she started there in September. She is doing well and is very sociable. Which I knew. She is the total opposite of me.

After our chat, I left the nursery and Mom and I went to Farnborough Gate Retail Park. She was due to do an hour of her NVQ with her course lady at Costa. I popped next door for breakfast then I wandered around TK Maxx. I got myself a new handbag as my white one is tatty and falling apart. I also got a new purse too, and a comic relief shirt for Scarlett. My mom dropped me home and I put together Scarlett’s new Paw Patrol canvas unit. It is just the right fit for her little bedroom.

My mom went out for lunch and I stayed home. My Nan dropped Scarlett to me and I finished packing her things. My dad picked her up at 2. She was asleep when he arrived at 1 and I said I would prefer her to get an hour then he can take her, she was in bed.

I didn’t think my meet with Brett (he was coming down to my house) was going to go well so I kind of got a little drunk. I figured the rejection would be easier to deal with. Also if we didn’t work it out then by the time I sobered up the next day he wouldn’t be around. I had felt unwell all week (sore throat, ear ache and headache) so I hadn’t been eating much. All I had eaten was breakfast so by the time I had my dinner, I had drank 2 alcoholic drinks. Not my finest hour. I was semi-sloshed when he arrived. He eventually hashed it all out. Every. Little. Thing. There was crying, shouting and sex lol I wouldn’t have agreed to this if I knew Scarlett was going to be here. I would’ve said No. She didn’t need to be around (even if just in bed) for the tears and shouting. But as she wasn’t, we had the freedom to figure it out.

Saturday:

We didn’t get out of bed until late as we hadn’t gone to bed until almost 5am. We decided to go for food and cinema. So we hopped on a bus at 4ish. We went to buy our tickets at the cinema but the 6:30pm showing was basically all booked up. So we booked the 9:20pm. We went across the road to Pizza Express and had a lovely meal. I think I may have overdone it on Garlic Dough Balls lol we ate then walked to the Spoons across the road and had 2 drinks. We talked and laughed load. It was really nice.

We watched John Wick 2 and it was really good. It finished quite late. We thought we had missed the last bus of the evening but luckily there was one at 12:02am so we jumped on that one then got off at the train station so we could get a cab. The bus only takes you through the station, it then goes off to another town. Hence why we got off.

Sunday:

We didn’t go to sleep until almost 6am. It is ridiculous. My dad text saying he was leaving, to bring Scarlett back, at noon. So I got myself up and got Brett up. He didn’t wanna get up. He is hard work when it comes to getting up. But he did. We walked to my Nan’s. He was in a bit of a mood. Not an angry mood. More like a sad resigned kind of mood. I didn’t know how to help him. He didn’t eat his dinner so we took it home when we left a few hours later. He perked up when we got home. He ate. Scarlett ate. Then he did bath, bottle and bed for her. She does really love him. He little face gets so excited. He decided, as he wasn’t rota’d to work this week, he would stay another night and spend Monday at home with Scarlett.

Monday (today):

So today I got up for work and I got Scarlett up at 7ish. I got Brett up and he had her all day. He got her to nap, twice. The nursery struggle to get 1 out of her because she is too nosey. But she was very good for him. Her gave her the morning bottle, porridge then a nap. Then they played, then she had lunch followed by her second nap. She had a bottle when she woke and then she played until I got home from work. I think he has realised what it was like for me at home, with her all day, when I was on maternity. And she is easier in some respects now than she was before. It isn’t “easy” like a lot of people assume. Mentally it is very hard going. Especially as it is such a big adjustment going from working full time, to being on “your jollies” for a few weeks of maternity pre-baby. To then being a full time mom to a newborn. I think I have adjusted quite well to working again. So much so that I enjoy our weekends together much more than I use to, when I was home ALL WEEK. Weekends didn’t hold much difference than weekdays, before.

She went to bed at 7 like normal. We had already had dinner. She kept trying to help herself to his dinner. She stuck her hand in his ketchup at one point. It was hilarious to watch. We watched TV then I said I would run a bath. So we sat in the bath together like we use to. Brett and I. Then we showered off and got out. We are just laid in bed now. I have work tomorrow and he is going home. He wants me to wake him when I am up. God I hate doing that lol #grumpypants

TTFN x

2 weeks to go

Tuesday we did her milestone update for sitting up. She can do it so well now. She sits for ages just playing and then she just leans forward into a crawl position so she is on her front. It’s brilliant watching her learn new things.


Wednesday my moms friend (who is also Scarlett’s godmother) looked after her whilst I went to the cinema to watch Jason Bourne. It wasn’t a bad movie but it wasn’t as good as I thought it would be. Matt Damon was looking a bit sexy ;)

Today I was going to get her weighed but we didn’t get up from our morning nap in time. We went at my nan’s at lunch time. We ended up staying for dinner. We went home and Scarlett had was due dinner so I fed her and bathed her by 6pm. She had a decent nap then we watched the first half of Emmerdale then I fed her her last bottle. She went up to bed at 8ish but didn’t settle much before 9pm. These teeth are doing her in. She keeps growling at things before aggressively biting them. My poor baby girl.

It’s my birthday in 2 weeks today!!!!!

I want a Fitbit for my birthday but I think I may wait till I get my tax rebate and treat myself. I may just ask for some money for my birthday so I can treat myself to a haircut and having my nails done for my party.


Tomorrow we are headed to town as I need to get the decorations for my party. I also need to run a few errands then I am going to get her weighed, finally. She was weighed 6 weeks ago and weighed 12 lb exactly. I reckon she’ll be around 13 lb 6 oz.

I’m in bed watching Extant season 2.

TTFN x