Monday, again

Well Brett and I did get back in contact. Eventually. We agreed to meet Friday and see how we got on. I was so anxious. A lot had been said between us and I wasn’t sure it would end well but nonetheless he got the train down Friday night.


Friday morning I dropped Scarlett at nursery. Usually the nursery don’t see me unless I am off. So I had a chat with her key worker over her progress since she started there in September. She is doing well and is very sociable. Which I knew. She is the total opposite of me.

After our chat, I left the nursery and Mom and I went to Farnborough Gate Retail Park. She was due to do an hour of her NVQ with her course lady at Costa. I popped next door for breakfast then I wandered around TK Maxx. I got myself a new handbag as my white one is tatty and falling apart. I also got a new purse too, and a comic relief shirt for Scarlett. My mom dropped me home and I put together Scarlett’s new Paw Patrol canvas unit. It is just the right fit for her little bedroom.

My mom went out for lunch and I stayed home. My Nan dropped Scarlett to me and I finished packing her things. My dad picked her up at 2. She was asleep when he arrived at 1 and I said I would prefer her to get an hour then he can take her, she was in bed.

I didn’t think my meet with Brett (he was coming down to my house) was going to go well so I kind of got a little drunk. I figured the rejection would be easier to deal with. Also if we didn’t work it out then by the time I sobered up the next day he wouldn’t be around. I had felt unwell all week (sore throat, ear ache and headache) so I hadn’t been eating much. All I had eaten was breakfast so by the time I had my dinner, I had drank 2 alcoholic drinks. Not my finest hour. I was semi-sloshed when he arrived. He eventually hashed it all out. Every. Little. Thing. There was crying, shouting and sex lol I wouldn’t have agreed to this if I knew Scarlett was going to be here. I would’ve said No. She didn’t need to be around (even if just in bed) for the tears and shouting. But as she wasn’t, we had the freedom to figure it out.


We didn’t get out of bed until late as we hadn’t gone to bed until almost 5am. We decided to go for food and cinema. So we hopped on a bus at 4ish. We went to buy our tickets at the cinema but the 6:30pm showing was basically all booked up. So we booked the 9:20pm. We went across the road to Pizza Express and had a lovely meal. I think I may have overdone it on Garlic Dough Balls lol we ate then walked to the Spoons across the road and had 2 drinks. We talked and laughed load. It was really nice.

We watched John Wick 2 and it was really good. It finished quite late. We thought we had missed the last bus of the evening but luckily there was one at 12:02am so we jumped on that one then got off at the train station so we could get a cab. The bus only takes you through the station, it then goes off to another town. Hence why we got off.


We didn’t go to sleep until almost 6am. It is ridiculous. My dad text saying he was leaving, to bring Scarlett back, at noon. So I got myself up and got Brett up. He didn’t wanna get up. He is hard work when it comes to getting up. But he did. We walked to my Nan’s. He was in a bit of a mood. Not an angry mood. More like a sad resigned kind of mood. I didn’t know how to help him. He didn’t eat his dinner so we took it home when we left a few hours later. He perked up when we got home. He ate. Scarlett ate. Then he did bath, bottle and bed for her. She does really love him. He little face gets so excited. He decided, as he wasn’t rota’d to work this week, he would stay another night and spend Monday at home with Scarlett.

Monday (today):

So today I got up for work and I got Scarlett up at 7ish. I got Brett up and he had her all day. He got her to nap, twice. The nursery struggle to get 1 out of her because she is too nosey. But she was very good for him. Her gave her the morning bottle, porridge then a nap. Then they played, then she had lunch followed by her second nap. She had a bottle when she woke and then she played until I got home from work. I think he has realised what it was like for me at home, with her all day, when I was on maternity. And she is easier in some respects now than she was before. It isn’t “easy” like a lot of people assume. Mentally it is very hard going. Especially as it is such a big adjustment going from working full time, to being on “your jollies” for a few weeks of maternity pre-baby. To then being a full time mom to a newborn. I think I have adjusted quite well to working again. So much so that I enjoy our weekends together much more than I use to, when I was home ALL WEEK. Weekends didn’t hold much difference than weekdays, before.

She went to bed at 7 like normal. We had already had dinner. She kept trying to help herself to his dinner. She stuck her hand in his ketchup at one point. It was hilarious to watch. We watched TV then I said I would run a bath. So we sat in the bath together like we use to. Brett and I. Then we showered off and got out. We are just laid in bed now. I have work tomorrow and he is going home. He wants me to wake him when I am up. God I hate doing that lol #grumpypants


2 weeks to go

Tuesday we did her milestone update for sitting up. She can do it so well now. She sits for ages just playing and then she just leans forward into a crawl position so she is on her front. It’s brilliant watching her learn new things.

Wednesday my moms friend (who is also Scarlett’s godmother) looked after her whilst I went to the cinema to watch Jason Bourne. It wasn’t a bad movie but it wasn’t as good as I thought it would be. Matt Damon was looking a bit sexy ;)

Today I was going to get her weighed but we didn’t get up from our morning nap in time. We went at my nan’s at lunch time. We ended up staying for dinner. We went home and Scarlett had was due dinner so I fed her and bathed her by 6pm. She had a decent nap then we watched the first half of Emmerdale then I fed her her last bottle. She went up to bed at 8ish but didn’t settle much before 9pm. These teeth are doing her in. She keeps growling at things before aggressively biting them. My poor baby girl.

It’s my birthday in 2 weeks today!!!!!

I want a Fitbit for my birthday but I think I may wait till I get my tax rebate and treat myself. I may just ask for some money for my birthday so I can treat myself to a haircut and having my nails done for my party.

Tomorrow we are headed to town as I need to get the decorations for my party. I also need to run a few errands then I am going to get her weighed, finally. She was weighed 6 weeks ago and weighed 12 lb exactly. I reckon she’ll be around 13 lb 6 oz.

I’m in bed watching Extant season 2.


27 weeks

My 2 days without Scarlett were strange but I did enjoy having a bit of the old “pre-baby” freedom.

Friday I woke up at 6am to take some pain medication. The pain was so bad. Once it kicked in I went back to sleep and didn’t wake up till 11:30am. I went shopping with my Nan to pick up some stuff for Scarlett such as nappies, baby milk and wipes etc.

Saturday morning, 1am, I phoned 111 regarding the pain in my mouth and they sent my details to the emergency dental team. They called me at 8:30am for an appointment so at 9:45am I got seen. They said it was infected so they prescribed antibiotics. I popped to sainsburys to get them from the chemist. Whilst I waited I had a look around then I picked them up. Grandad and I were headed to the cinema to watch Star Trek Beyond so I went to his and we left for the film. It was pretty good. After the cinema we went back to my nan’s. I stayed for a cup of tea then I went home as Scarlett was being dropped at 4ish.

My stepmom and the kids turned up with Scarlett. We unloaded all her stuff and then they left. I said thanks for having her. She was excited to see me. I had missed her. More than I thought I possible.

Saturday night after Scarlett went to bed my bro and I decided on takeout pizza for dinner. Mom was finishing at 9 so we planned to have our pizza when she got in. But she ended up having to work all night so we just fed ourselves then I went to bed.

Sunday mom, Scarlett and me went for dinner at the restaurant my brother works at. We had a nice meal and then went home.

Today Scarlett is 27 weeks old. She is so cheeky. I put her in her cot for safe keeping whilst I had a wee and brushed my teeth this morning. I went to check on her after I made her bottle she was on her knees holding on to the side of the cot trying to grab her curtains lol

She’s so naughty and cheeky. I definitely need eyes in the back of my head in the future.

She’s definitely trying to crawl more now. It’s crazy now quickly she’s trying new things.

We went food shopping and she sat in the trolley again. She loves it. She can be nosey and look around.

She’s been super upset the last couple of days. I think she’s seriously teething now. I just hope the tooth hurries up and comes through soon.

It’s August. Like seriously? It’s August? My birthday is 17 days away!!!!

I’m in bed watching The Good Witch series. I love it.

Scarlett’s been in bed since 8:15pm. I’m heading off myself soon.


6 months or 26 weeks


I got up with Scarlett in the morning. I fed her and got her back asleep. When she woke up after that morning nap mom took over so I could catch up some sleep. I think I got about 90 minutes. My jaw ached so I was keeping the meds topped up. It was my moms friend’s birthday (who I get on with) so we popped in to her work to give her presents and cards. Obviously we took Scarlett with us.

We got home and decided to go to the pub for a few hours. I managed to eat some cheesy garlic bread. It took me 30 minutes though lol you don’t realise how taxing chewing is on your jaw.

After the pub we went home for dinner. I had steak pie and chips. It was fairly manageable. I know my limits with what I can and can’t eat.

I finally watched Transporter: Refuelled. I had tried to watch it at the cinema last year when it came out but I never ended up watching it. It’s not a bad film.


We had Sunday dinner at my nan’s house. Like normal. Tried to get Scarlett to nap before dinner as she was tired but she only managed half hour. My aunt showed up with her kids for dinner, after we’d eaten. She didn’t stay long. She ate dinner then pudding then left.

I finally decided what I want for my birthday. I want a Fitbit. The Fitbit blaze seems the best choice for me. It’s about £160 so I may just ask for money gifts and then buy it myself with the money.


Today my gorgeous little princess is 6 months old but also 26 weeks. This makes her EXACTLY half a year. Half a year she’s been here. How!?!?! It’s mad. She is sitting up better but still not a pro. She tries to crawl. She grabs everything. Has an obsession with necklaces. She looks like she’s teething some days because of the drooling and biting her finger but no teeth yet. She’s still in 3-6m clothes (some are still big) and still in size 3 nappies. She shouts a lot and if you ignore her she has perfected her fake cough lol

We didn’t do a lot today. I had errands to do but we just didn’t do them. The only thing we achieved was visiting a nursery locally. It seemed nice and the price wasn’t too mad either. I have one other to visit then I’ll make a decision.

Brett got the train down at 7:30ish and was at mine by 9pm. Mom picked him up and I made her take Scarlett with her as she was awake and I knew she’d want to see him. She went mad when she saw him. It took me a while to get her to drink her bedtime bottle and go to sleep lol she gets so excited around him. She loves him!

Not sure when he’s going home. Wednesday evening I think. I’m just glad he’s here. I’ve missed him. More than he’ll ever know. He’s my man crush every day.

It is 3am. I should sleep. My jaw hurts but that seems to be a constant now even with the combo of pills so I’m getting use to it lol



Omg today has been one of them mad days where I kind of wished I hadn’t woke up lol

Firstly I phoned my dentist for an emergency appointment because the pain in my tooth has gotten so bad. They got me one for 10:15am. I called my grandad and asked if he’d mind running me up there for it. He said no problem. I walked to his house for 10. I got there and said do you need me to put the car seat in for you? He replies he doesn’t know where it is! Turns out it’s still in my nan’s car from last Friday. Epic fail. Had to phone up the dentist and explain my predicament. They didn’t have any other appointments for today so they said phone up Monday morning and they’ll give me another emergency one.

So I had rushed around for nothing. Scarlett was asleep so I left her be. At 11 we got the bus to town. I popped in to wilkinsons for a drink and then we waited for the bus to my work. I made her bottle up but she was too distracted by people at work to drink it lol

Today I actually sat down with my manager (she was holding Scarlett who surprisingly didn’t cry) as she wanted to know when I was coming back etc. I told her my return date is 5th September. She said with the 8 bank holidays added on (that have occurred since I’ve been off) that’ll have me back on September 15th. I’m away till 16th so she said with 2 days holidays that brings me back on Monday 19th (which is what I had already worked out) but then she surprised me when I said could I use any holiday to add on the end and she said yes why don’t you take 2 weeks holiday (I have 5 weeks to take before year end) and have your start date for October but as you’ll be on payroll from the 5th you’ll have a month of your own wages. Use the month to get Scarlett use to nursery etc and get yourself back in the working head space etc. She wants me to come in one day in the two weeks before in back in October to see what’s going on, talk about what I expect and what she expects etc. As much as I didn’t want to come back to that job, for the foreseeable I may stick with it because it’s best the devil you know. I’ve worked that I can put Scarlett in nursery 8-12. My Nan can pick her up. She’ll have her till mom finishes, either 1:30 or 2:30 then when I finish at 5, mom will pick me up from work and I’ll take over. I earn just under £20K so I’ll get half my childcare costs paid for me so that’ll help. So pleased I worked it out. Been screwing it over in my head for months now and getting anxious about it. Just need to find a nursery I like now lol

Mom picked us up from my work at 1:30 and we went to town for a quick bite then she dropped me at the cinema. I watched the Legend of Tarzan, finally. I loved it. I love Alexander Skarsgård. He use to be my cover banner on here but now it’s Scarlett.

I created a facebook page for my blog because I’ve been approached by a company who want me to write a few articles a week on their platform for them and I figured I should have my own space, for my personal blog. Check it here and click like:

After the cinema I got the bus home then I fed Scarlett her dinner, bathed her then we ate our dinner before I gave her her last bottle for the night. At 9pm I put her down in her cot and she fell asleep within’ 20 minutes. I’m so proud of my little toothless baldie lol

Not much planned tomorrow or Sunday. Wish I could see Brett but I don’t think he’s down until next weekend, maybe the one after. Not sure. We haven’t discussed it. He’s working more now so it’s all dependent on that now.

I’m in bed watching a film on E4 and enjoying a cider. I’m hoping it’ll take an edge of the toothache I’m experiencing. I’m usually so good with pain but this is just grating on my soul. I’d rather have another c-section than toothache. That’s how bad it is!!!!

I cut her finger!

Friday we had breakfast with nanny then we went food shopping. As per my previous post I stocked up on more milk and nappies. At lunch my dad took us out to lunch. We went to Redfields garden centre. The food there is delicious. I had a toasted cheese panini which was seeded and it was lovely. Scarlett slept through the entire trip lol I got my mom a Mother’s Day gift. A jar of 30 bath bombs. I’ll put a ribbon round them and a label to say they’re from me to make them look pretty lol

After lunch we stopped by my nan’s for a cup of tea then he left as he had to be back to pick up my siblings from school.

Saturday I dog sat at my nan’s house because she was out from the early afternoon and wasn’t due home till midnight. Mom and I had a cheeky Chinese then she went to her friends party. I got in my pyjamas and put the new episodes of Pretty Little Liars on. My grandparents got home at midnight. I was feeding Scarlett. Once she was settled I took her up to bed.

Sunday morning mom came round and we got Scarlett ready then we went into Camberley town for some food and shopping. We had some food in a cafe. Scarlett slept through it. Surprise! I picked up some items for myself as a treat using the money my Nan gave me for dogsitting. I picked up all the cards I need for March’s birthdays and events such as Mother’s Day. I also got Scarlett some bunny ears for Easter lol

We finished in Camberley and headed to Matalan but Scarlett decided she was hungry so I stayed in the car and fed her. We then drove to Farnborough town as mom wanted to look for some new work trousers. So we split up as I just wanted to wander so I went into wilkinsons, peacocks and then sainsburys. Sainsburys had a sale on. I got 6 tops, for £1.20 each and a pair of leggings the same price, for Scarlett. I also picked up another Mother’s Day gift for my mom.

We had dinner Sunday night then my mom went to work. I chilled with Scarlett as my brother was working till late.

Yesterday (technically only 34 minutes ago) was a leap year. February 29th. We didn’t get out of bed till late. I had something to eat then we went round my nan’s. She has ginger cake in her fridge and I love it. I had forgotten how much I like ginger cake.

Scarlett is 5 weeks old. I can’t believe it’s been 5 weeks since she was born. She’s changed so much in them 5 weeks already. She does look like me but I can see her father in her a little. Her eyes are still blue!! I hope they stay that way. I have blue eyes and I love it!

We left nan’s and went home to sort dinner as mom was working at 6pm. Once we ate she left. I watched some TV then at 8ish I took Scarlett up for a bath. I decided to cut her nails using the clippers for the first time. Unfortunately she moved her hand and I managed to cut, fairly deeply, her little finger. It pissed with blood, she screamed like she’s never done before and I burst into tears whilst trying to fix her. I managed to get it to stop bleeding then I successfully (surprisingly) put a plaster on her finger. Can safely say it was as hard work as defusing a bomb lol she seems fine and after the traumatising event she had her bath and got ready for bed. She had a feed then fell asleep curled up on my chest. I felt so bad about the cut but it’s just one of those things.

We went up to bed and I watched the film Leap Year because it’s a Leap Year lol I love the film. “Put it in the wash, it’ll be grand”.

We are in bed. She’s fast asleep and I’m watching Elementary. I love it.

We are going to Costco tomorrow to stock up on the essentials such as toilet roll, sugar, teabags etc.


A whole month!!

Sunday we had dinner and my aunt popped round to pick her daughter up so she had a cuddle with Scarlett.

Monday Scarlett was 4 weeks old. The milestone stickers don’t have one of 4 weeks, after 3 weeks it goes 1 month, 2 month and so on so I did the sticker photos today.

We had dinner at my nan’s house today. We had pie and mash.

We are going out for lunch with my dad tomorrow then hopefully to get her weighed again. Until she is 6 months I intend to have her weighed every week till she’s 12 weeks then every other week till she’s 6 months.

I haven’t got much planned this weekend coming. I get paid tomorrow so I’m going to stock up on stuff for Scarlett such as milk and nappies. Not that I’ve run out of nappies at all but whilst my maternity pay isn’t too low yet I’d rather stock up so I’m not caught short later on. I don’t need wipes. I want to get her a few more onesies. She doesn’t seem to have many. She has hundreds of vests but only a handful of onesies and they’re great for bedtime but not when you don’t have that many. I change her twice a day. At night she’ll have a clean vest on, then I put her pyjamas on which is usually a onesie or occasionally she’ll wear a long sleeved vest with some leggings and socks. In the morning she’ll have another clean vest on then her outfit, whichever I’ve picked for the day. Outfit-wise she has loads, she just needs to grow into half of them lol

There’s a film out I want to see. It’s called How To Be Single. It looks hilarious. Will have to work out with mom when to go see it as she’ll have to watch Scarlett for me.

She’s currently laid in the bed next to me, flat out snoring lol she was fussy earlier and took ages to settle but she seems okay now.

I’m going to try catch some Zz before she wakes for her feed.