Saying bye to the weekend

Friday could not have come quicker. It was a long week. The week at work after any time away is always the hardest. IMO anyway. We got home at 5:15 and I decided we’d go to my Nan’s for the evening. I don’t do this often as it means a late night for Scarlett. But once every now and then is fine. So we got picked up just after 7. My nan was going to the chip shop so I grabbed myself some dinner as I hadn’t yet eaten. We had a nice evening. Scarlett played and jumped and we didn’t get home till 10:30. She went to bed at 11ish.

Saturday we woke up at half 7ish. I did us some breakfast. Scarlett’s eye has been sore and weepy for a few days. It was horrid this morning. We watched Finding Dory then I put her down for a nap. When she woke we ate lunch then headed to my Nan’s. The sun was shining so she could play in their garden. We ended up staying for dinner. We headed home at 7:30. Quick bath then bed for little madam.

Today I heard her stir at 7ish but she didn’t yell out for me so I went back to sleep. She woke me up at 9am by rattling the stairgate on her bedroom. Turns out she’d shit and it was all down her leg because the nappy was too full of wee so it had no where else to go. Lovely! We had breakfast then at 10:30 we went food shopping with mom. She dropped me home with the shopping and took Scarlett round to hers for an hour. I watched a child-free episode of Shadowhunters and then we all walked to my Nan’s for dinner. Scarlett did some colouring with her chalk board table. And she played Tap Tap Art with everyone. Overall a pretty good day. Weather was too hot for me though. I hate this hot weather. Ironic really, given that I was born in the height of summer lol

We left for Home at 5ish and Scarlett had a banana (she asked for it) then we bathed and chilled. I put her to bed at 7:30. I did two loads of washing and am currently watching more Shadowhunters. I don’t know what I’ll do with myself when I reach the end lol actually tbf I do have season 2 of “13 Reasons Why” to watch. But I’m not in the headspace for it. Season 1 was mad intense and I’m not ready for that kind of focus.

Back to work tomorrow. I had hoped to hand in my notice. But I’ve not received my paperwork from my new role yet and I’m not resigning until I know what I’m signing my soul to lol

TTFN x

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We’ve arrived

Today we woke up at 8ish. I sorted some breakfast then we watched Toy Story. I packed then Brett had a bath. Scarlett and I got dressed then once Brett was ready mom took us to Morrison’s. We decided it was cheaper to buy essentials from there, than the onsite shop as it’s really expensive. So we hit the shops then we went back to my flat. I finished packing then we headed out at 1ish. We stopped for lunch then we set off.

Scarlett slept half the journey. I watched an episode of Shadowhunters that I’d downloaded. We arrived at 3:30 and they said they were running behind on check-in so we went to the pub down the road for a drink. Scarlett had a play in the kids area in the garden. Stretched her legs. Finally they were ready at 5 so we drove back and got the keys.

Our caravan is brilliant. We expected just a 2 bedroom. Meaning my mom would either have to share with Scarlett or sleep on the pull our sofa. Instead we have 3 bedrooms. A fridge/freezer and a proper 4-seater table with chairs.

We chilled for a bit then mom put on the dinner. We had pie. We got chips from the chip shop to go with it. Scarlett had a bath at 7:30 and was in bed at 8:15. She was very tired but she settled after a bit of a whinge.

We are watching Prison Break. Mom is in bed.

We’re going to Monkey World tomorrow. Scarlett went when she was 5 months. It’ll be such fun taking her at this age. 2-3 years is the best (and toughest). She learns so much every day and talks so much more clearer.

TTFN x

Third Time’s The Charm, hopefully!

Monday was a chilled evening. I watched some TV and just relaxed. I haven’t been sleeping great since we moved in so I am trying to relax, even if I don’t sleep.

Tuesday Brett got the train down to see us. He was originally coming Thursday/Friday. He primarily came to see Scarlett. We had a nice evening and we went to bed.

Wednesday I went to work and Brett stayed at mine. At 12:30 my Nan dropped Scarlett to him, at my flat. He had her all afternoon. I got home at almost 6. I cooked us dinner then we put Scarlett to bed at like 8:30. We watched some TV and had a chat about there potentially being an us again. Maybe.

Thursday I went to work and Brett did the same. Scarlett did a really nasty poo and it went everywhere so he was flustered about that when I got in. She did another when I got home so I sorted that. She had had bellyache all week so far. She went to bed at 7:30 like usual. I had cooked us all dinner. We watched some TV and had a proper conversation. We got everything out. Laid it all on the table. What we want from each other. What we want from life. What we think went wrong. What we’ll do better, what we will both do better. He is my bestfriend. He is legit my bestfriend! He’s the first person I speak to, and want to speak to, when I wake up. We decided this would be the last time of trying. If we cannot make it work then we’ll call it quits for good and go our separate ways.

Friday I went to work and Brett stayed at mine. I told him to help himself to food and the TV etc. When me and Scarlett got home at 5ish Brett and I decided we’d give her a bath then walk to my Nan’s for the evening. So she had her bath then my brother and his girlfriend came round. We all walked around my Nan’s at 7ish. We stayed there till 10ish. Scarlett went to bed at 10:30. We watched some TV then we got into bed. We stayed up till 2am chatting. It was nice. It was just like when we first met. It was good!

Saturday we were woken up at 7:30 by Scarlett. We expected her to lay in after her late night but she didn’t. We decided to eat breakfast in town so we grabbed our stuff and jumped on the bus. We went to Poppins Cafe before heading to the train station. We got to his area at 12:15. His mom picked us up from the station. Scarlett was really excited to see her Nanny. We had some lunch at 2ish then at 3pm we put Scarlett down for a nap. She fell down the stairs. Brett was at the top, she was following behind him. She lost her balanced and went backwards. Luckily his brother was at the bottom. He caught her. She cried, due to the shock more than anything. She was fine.

At 6ish we sorted some dinner then Brett and I went to the cinema for 8:15. We watched Black Panther. It was a really good film and we were glad to have gone to see it. We got back at 11ish. Scarlett went to bed at 10. She was flat out sleeping.

I climbed into bed at half 11. I was tired. We stayed up chatting till 1 then we went to sleep.

Sunday I woke up at 9ish to Scarlett sitting on the end of the bed. She had climbed out the cot, onto the bed. We snuggled under the duvet with Brett for 10 minutes. Then we all got up and had breakfast. She played with her Uncle “dot” and her nanny. We watched a film on sky called Unforgettable. It was good. We had dinner at 2:30 then we grabbed our stuff and got in the car. We drove to Guildford as Brett had an appointment at 5pm then we drove home. Scarlett got in the bath then we watched In The Night Garden. I put her down at 7:30. She was still awake at 9:30 and I stupidly decided now was a good time to take the side off her cot, so she could have a big girl bed. It wasn’t a good idea. I got it off but putting the rest back together was hard. Especially as she was “helping” me. I called my bro and he came and gave me a hand. We put it back together then I put her to bed again. She went straight to sleep. He got rid of a mahoosive spider that was terrorising me in the lounge then he left. I settled down to watch some TV then I climbed into bed as well. Think I nodded off about midnight.

Today [Monday] has been the longest ever. Me and my manager sat down to look at what I do on a day-to-day basis so she has a clue of what I get up to. When I am on annual leave she doesn’t cover me because she wouldn’t know where to start and no one tends to die when I am off for a week. But she said she should know a bit more. So we went through a termination I received. It should’ve been straight forward, removing 26 sites and their tasks. No. Just no! It’s taken a whole day, between 2 people. We came up against obstacle after obstacle. Wanted to bang my head against the wall all day. Honestly, proper headache. We finally got to the end at like 4:30.

Mom has just picked me up as we’re going food shopping on our way home. I desperately need some stuff otherwise I shan’t be eating all week. Then we’ll head home.

TTFN x

It’s finally stopped snowing!

Yesterday it was snowing when we left my Nan’s house just after 5ish. It finally stopped at like 6:30. Everywhere was covered in snow still. I was pleased it had stopped. As much as it’s pretty to look at, it’s not practical!

Scarlett went to bed at 8ish. We had some dinner. We had sausage and mash. We were meant to have schnitzels but mom forgot to check we had breadcrumbs so she had to put them in the fridge and do sausages instead.

I was wide awake all night watching some TV. I couldn’t sleep. I think it was the coke I drank. I fell asleep about 6am and woke up at 9ish.

Today Scarlett woke about 9ish. She was singing so I left her till 9:30 then I took her downstairs. We had some breakfast then mom watched her whilst I showered. We got dressed then we went to my Nan’s house. She was cooking pies for everyone to take home. At 2ish I did Scarlett and everyone else some lunch then I put her down for a nap at 3:15. She slept till 5:30 then we walked home. She walked pretty much the whole way except for 2 minutes between one end of the park and the other, near the bridge. Which is fine. She did so well!!!

She had her schnitzel before we did as I wanted her in bed. She ate, had a bath then went to bed at 8. We ate then mom got ready for work. She left and so did her boyfriend. He headed home. I watched the latest episode of Requiem. Not entirely sure what’s even happening on it now. It’s confusing and weird!

I headed up to bed at 10 (half hour ago). Was going to watch a film but I’ve had a headache ALL DAMN DAY. So I’ll read instead and get an early night. I’m quite tired. We’ve had rain today, not snow. So a lot of the snow is gone and it’s much more drivable. At this rate I’ll 100% be back in the office Monday.

TTFN x

P.s. 20 days till MOVING DAY!!!

Corfu, here we come

Saturday we had a lay in. Scarlett woke up at 8ish. I took her down and we had breakfast. We watched Gnomeo and Juliet then I put her up for a nap. Whilst she was asleep I read more of my book. I literally cannot put it down. I was on book number 4. when she woke up we got dressed and went to my Nan’s for some lunch. After we ate, we left her there to play so we could go shopping. I picked up a new TV for my new place. 32 inch HD Smart TV. It was only £210. Bargain! Then we did some food shopping. We got Scarlett a water bottle that is the same as mine, just a different colour as she is always drinking out of mine. And my throat has been sore for like 8 weeks so it’s not ideal for her to share my drinks, germs. We dropped our shopping home then we walked back to my nan’s. Scarlett had some dinner there then we headed home. I bathed her and put her to bed. We had our dinner. We had these pizzas from Sainbury’s that were “Pizza Express” ones. And some doughballs. Lush!

Sunday she woke up at 8am again. We watched Curious George the movie whilst eating breakfast. I put her up for a nap again and then climbed into bed to read my book. I finished book 4 and started reading book 5. We walked to my Nan’s for Sunday roast. We stayed there till the early evening then we headed home. Scarlett was tired when we got in so she was bit whingy. We got in the car and drove to Fleet to pick up the coffee. It’s just as the pictures showed. No scratches etc. I tried calling Brett before she went to bed but I hadn’t heard from him since Saturday night. He had been at a house party with his pals and I assumed he was asleep at his friends. But usually he pops up, hungover, by like 3/4pm. This was 7pm I tried calling him. My Whatsapp messages were only coming up with 1 tick. Which meant his phone was either off or had no signal. I was annoying because he would be pissed at me if I ignored him for 24 hours. So I put Scarlett to bed then chilled out. Finished doing my washing. I read my book in bed then went to bed.

Monday I woke up with my throat being worse than it had been in days. Awesome. It was snowing. It didn’t really settle but it was snowing on/off all day.

Still no word from Brett. Which I found unusual so I messaged his mom later on and asked if he had come home. She said no and she said she was sending his Dad round after work to see if he was at his pals house. Turned out he was. So he came home when I had finished work then he called to say Hi. He is such a knob. Fancy going AWOL for 2 days then being all “hey”. If I had done that to him, he’d have gone mental at me.

He spoke to Scarlett on FaceTime and she wasn’t even bothered. She just carried on playing. I put her to bed at 7ish then we ate dinner. Mom had cooked whilst I made tea. We watched TV then she went to work. I watched new Criminal Minds and Blindspot then I read some more of my book in bed before I went to sleep.

Today I didn’t wanna get up. It was so cold. Must’ve been minus 3 when we got up. Scarlett’s GroEgg in her room was blue meaning it was too cold. Yet when I pulled her from under her duvet she was toasty warm. She had toast and I had porridge then we went out separate ways.

Sunday we had sat with my mom’s boyfriend and looked at holidays. My nan is in Spain in September and as she does the nursery run, plus has Scarlett 3 afternoons a week, I had to book the time off. Or mom had to. Either way, one of us had to. So we agreed to both book 2 weeks off and we’d go away. So we settled on the Alkion Hotel in Corfu [check it out]. It worked out as £276 per person but that is if we split it 4 ways to include Scarlett. Mom said to just split it between us 3 adults so it’s £368 per person for 7 nights, half board. I am very excited now we’ve actually booked. We paid the deposit then the next instalment is due the end of next month.

Corfu here we come! Only 210 days to go LOL

TTFN x

P.S. Only 24 days till MOVING DAY!!!!

A murder, a party and losing the will to live

Friday I went to work. I felt like absolute shit. I was manic all day. Trying to catch up. Trying to do stuff. I made a fair dent in my emails.

After work we went home. There had been an incident near to the party venue at 2pm and I wasn’t sure if the road would be open in time. There had been a fatal stabbing and the road was cordoned off.

Saturday we woke up at 7:30ish. Mom had worked the night so she grabbed breakfast on her way home. We ate when she got in. Scarlett ate loads. I was due to go to the venue for 11. I needed to go to town to get her cake. So I put her down for a nap then at 9:45 Grandad picked me up. The road was still shut. I had phoned the venue at half 8 and they reckoned I was still able to go ahead with the party. So I went to Asda to sort her cake. I settled on one of her Cake Smash pictures on it. I grabbed myself a new top to wear then we paid and left. I stopped by Home to grab what I needed then I went to my nan’s. She lives nearer to the venue than I do and I was due there at 11ish.

I walked over. I was perplexed. I couldn’t figure out how I was meant to get in when the front of the entire building/flats was cordoned off, including the road. I walked round behind and found the security guy (we had spoken on the phone). He let me in and said he’d lift the car park barriers so my guests could come in and out. And when we are finished later to call him and he’d come lock up the building.

The soft play guy arrived to set up at 11:15. My nan came with the food. I decorated and everyone blew up the balloons. I can’t because I’m allergic to latex. The guy finished setting up and left.

Just before the party was due to start I creeped into the toilet so I could slap some makeup on and change my top. Then I headed back out. I still felt like shit but the party was actually happening so I “put my big girl pants on”.

People arrived. People had a laugh. The kids played. They ate. It was good. I did some mingling. I met some of her Nursery friend’s parents. They’re all lovely. The kids too.

We did some presents from Brett’s brother because they’re big and they said it’ll be easier for them to take them straight back home in the car. Otherwise I’d have to drag it to their house on the train next time we visit. It was a crayola my first easel set. She’ll love it.

We did the cake at 2ish then everyone slowly parted ways. We gave them all their party bags and then when they’d all gone we tidied up. The soft play guy came at 2:50 and put everything away. I paid the remaining fee. I called security to inform them that we were leaving then we left.

We stopped at my nans house for a cup of tea then we headed home. Scarlett had eaten a lot so she just had some chips with Brett. I had a chicken curry. She had her bath then she went to bed.

We both felt knackered so we climbed into bed at like 9:30. We were going to watch a film but instead we just laid in bed chatting. We went to bed quite early, must’ve been midnight.

Sunday Brett looked at trains and they were rail replacement so he said he’d go home the next day. Worked for me. Scarlett got up at 8. We had breakfast at 10 then I put Scarlett up for a nap. We woke her at 12:30 so we could go out for dinner. We went to the Beefeater in town. I had garlic flatbread for starter then a buttermilk fried chicken burger with chips for a main. Scarlett had chicken bites, chips and peas. She ate a little but she wasn’t overly hungry. She helped my mom eat her dinner though lol

We left the restaurant a 3:15 and headed to my Nan’s. We had a cup of tea then headed home at 5ish. Scarlett had a yoghurt then went up for a bath at 6:30. We got her into bed at 8pm. We wanted to watch a film. Brett said Django so I found Django Unchained on Netflix. We watched it. I made him some supper. I ate my leftover rice from the night before.

The film finished quite late. I needed a shower as I had Work the next day. So we jumped in the shower then got into bed.

My neck has been really painful. Neck. Not throat. My throat is tolerable. My neck hurts if I turn too far either way. If I tilt my head. If I swallow or cough. It’s ridiculous. I cried. In bed. In front of Brett. I hate crying but I hate crying with an audience even more!! He cuddles me and said I’d be ok. It helped. We went to sleep.

Today I woke up and I just felt like utter shit. I was sick in bathroom. My head was pounding. My neck was killing me. I called in dead sick then booked a doctors appointment. They gave me a triage call first then an appointment for 11:40. I watched more Hemlock Grove then I climbed into bed with Brett. He woke up and said he was going to head home. So he left at half 10. At 11:20 I set off for the Doctors. I saw the same doctor as last week and she couldn’t get me out of there quick enough. Apparently my neck pain is muscular and will go away on it’s own. Basically put up and shut up!

After the doctors I walked to my nans house. I had some lunch at 12:30 then at 3pm mom came round. We went to Morrison’s to grab some food for Work then we went and picked up Scarlett. She had a good day. She ate and slept well apparently.

We went home and did some colouring. We played with her baby dolls. I took her up for a bath. She won’t get undressed. Turns out she needed a poo. When she was finished I stripped her off and she had a bath. She had her bottle and I took her up to bed at 7:30 but she didn’t settle. Mom went up once to sort her out. She’d taken her trousers off. I went up the second time and brought her downstairs. We turnedthe lights off and just had the tv on, down low.

I took her back up to bed at 9:30 as she seemed more ready for bed. I think she was missing me because she sat with me, cuddling and kissing my face. Rubbing my arm. Playing with my hair. So I can’t be mad at that!

I watched Vera at 10pm. It’s almost 2 hours long so it’s only just finished. I’m headed to bed now.

TTFN x

4 days till baby is 2!

So I’ve just had the shittest day I’ve had in ages. And a lot of it was fuelled by tiredness, hunger, hormones and the bastard rain.

Friday’s journey to Brett’s house wasn’t bad. Just bit packed on the train. That’s the problem with travelling at rush hour. We got on the 5:15 and got off at 6:35 so not too bad. Brett met us on the platform. His mom was in the car waiting.

When we got back we had some dinner. We had chip shop because it’s a Friday. Scarlett had already eaten at Nursery so she just had some chips. Brett bathed her then we put her down to bed at 9:30. She took ages to drop off.

Brett fell asleep on the sofa at 10. I left him. I climbed into his bed. Played my iPhone games then went to sleep at 12:30. He climbed into bed at some point, he woke me up. But we both went back to sleep.

Saturday Scarlett stirred at 6:55. I heard her but as she’d woke me, I really needed a wee so I ran past her cot and went upstairs. When I came back down she’d settled so I climbed into bed and went back to sleep. I heard her again at 9:30. She was singing. I left her till almost 10 then I got her up. Brett didn’t get up. It annoyed me. He eventually came out the bedroom after Scarlett had already gone shopping with his mom and I had had a shower.

When they got back we headed out to see his family. We stopped at McDonald’s on the way as I was starving and Scarlett needed some lunch. We ate on the way. We were there till 3 then we headed back. I put Scarlett down for a nap. She slept for 90 minutes. I woke her up trying to get past the cot (his room is an obstacle course).

We put her dinner on at 6ish. She ate at 6:30. She had waffles, fish fingers and beans. Then a yoghurt. Standard lol

We ate at 7ish then I put her in the bath. Took ages to get her to go to sleep. Mostly because Brett was on the PS4 and took ages to get off it. We put her down then we watched a film in the front room. We watched paycheck. Not bad film. It had you guessing things, which I like.

He played his PS4, again. Whilst I played my game on my phone in bed. I went to sleep at about 1ish.

Sunday (today) I didn’t hear Scarlett until 9. She was singing so I left her be. Must’ve fell asleep. Woke up at 10 and she was quiet. Rolled over to wake Brett up. Told him it was 10 and we should get up. Slide off the bed to see her and the cot was empty. I figured his mom must’ve picked her up so I went upstairs for a wee. On the stairs I could see her feet on the sofa, she was sat with his brother. So I brushed my teeth and came down to get dressed. I told Brett we needed to relieve his brother from babysitting duties. He just stayed there so I left the bedroom and went into see Scarlett. She had already had her bottle. Then she had some grapes and a yoghurt. The dog was asleep on the sofa and Scarlett slammed her hand down when running past. It startled him and he bit her. She was really upset. I picked her up and took her into the kitchen so I could see her hand. It was a smallest of grazes. I tried to console her but she was heartbroken. I washed her hands to be safe (let’s be honest, dogs lick their own arses). I told her it was okay and he didn’t mean it, she just spooked him. Her cry was really getting to me. I could feel my eyes watering. I hate crying. And I hate public crying even more. I held it back till she composed herself. I took her in the lounge to dress her. She was much calmer. Then she took her dirty nappy out into the kitchen to put in the bin. There was people in the kitchen so I seized my chance to escape upstairs. I had a wee and cried. I cried because my heart hurt. I don’t like when she’s upset. I don’t like not being able to control things. It wasn’t really anyone’s fault. The dog is old and was asleep. She startled him. But he shouldn’t bite. I’m so hormonal. Since the coil I’ve been skipping my period every other month. And it’s annoying. Because yeah, no blood, yay brill. But hormones still rain on me. So I’m either a blubbering mess or a psycho bitch. No inbetween #ideal

I tried to put her down for a nap before dinner. Brett was on his PS4 and didn’t get the hint when I said I wanted to put her to sleep. So after 90 minutes of trying I gave up. Then we had dinner. We got our stuff together and we left to get the train at 4ish. There was rail replacement buses from Woking (2 stops from Home) and I can’t do them buses as they are coaches and I get motion sickness. So I asked my mom if she minded picking us up from Woking. My brother’s girlfriend lives in Woking so she said yeah ok I’ll drop her back when I get you. So ok cool.

We got off the train at 5pm. It’s been raining for 2 days. So it’s soaking wet outside. They tell me to exit via platform 5. So I do. Then I’m told they got stuck because there is a road closed and they got diverted for like 2 miles and can’t get to me so can I go back through the station to platform 1’s exit. So I go back in and explain to the guard. They let me through. I come out the other exit. See mom waving down the road so walk as fast as I can carrying our overnight bag and pushing the stroller. Eventually we’re all in the car. Wet but in. Off we go to drop Natalia home. Scarlett is asleep within minutes. Not ideal. But whatever.

We had to divert again on the way home but we finally arrived just after 6. Kitchen was a mess. The water was still turned off. My mom nipped next door to ask if she could fill up some bottles with water so we could at least make tea. Scarlett had a hissy fit. She sounded like she was in pain. She was really upset. She wouldn’t let anyone pick her up off the floor. She ended up in my mom’s arms and she handed her to me. She calmed down. I asked her what was wrong. She said her elbow hurt (no idea) so I asked if she wanted me to kiss it better. She said Yeah. So I did. Then I asked if she wanted her tea. She shook her head. I said what do you want? She said “my bottle”. So I put her pyjamas on and wiped her face (no bath so it’s the best I could do) then I made her milk. She drank it and seemed to perk up. My mom’s friend came round to fix the pipe on the washing machine. Scarlett said Nunight at 7:30 and I took her up. She went to sleep. Water was back on so I watched Vera at 8 then at 10 I got in the shower. Omg it was so nice to wash my hair. I hate going to work with greasy hair and lately my hair is nothing but greasy. Ughhh!

I laid on my bed for a while after, enjoying the warmth from the heating that had come on whilst I was showering.

Now I’m in bed. Can’t sleep as I didn’t get up till 10 but I’ll try my best!

Scarlett is turning 2 in 4 days (although it’s almost 3 days now). It’s gone by so quick but at the same time it’s gone slowly.

I’m off to dream about the time when my kitchen wasn’t a shit hole, my hair wasn’t constantly greasy and I didn’t feel like shit (sore throat is back).

TTFN x