Oops

So I totally forgot to blog for a while! Here’s what has been happening.

Thursday 13th:

Had work and then at 5pm I was free for 10 days!!!

Friday 14th (Easter Friday):

Bank holidays rule! Scarlett had me up at usual time. Sorted her then we played. She had a nap then once she was up we got on the train to Brett’s house. Scarlett went to bed at 9ish I think.

Saturday 15th:

We didn’t get up to much. Weather wasn’t overly great so stayed in. We got ready for the party (Brett’s friend’s 21st) and off we went. I had a fairly decent night. Finally met some of his peeps. Hopefully didn’t show myself up, even though I puked a few times before getting the uber home lol

Sunday 16th (Easter Sunday):

I was hanging out my asshole when I woke up with Scarlett at 8am. She wanted to run about and I just wanted to die BUT I did get up. I gave her a bottle. Dragged her to the toilet so I could puke a bit more. She gave me this judgmental stare. 15 months old and that sort of attitude! #MyKidRules

At 10am Brett’s mom said did I want her to take Scarlett with her to visit some family for a few hours? Yes please lol so off they went. I climbed back into bed. After 2 hours I felt right as rain. Was starving and dinner wasn’t due til 3ish so I had a bit of toast and some more water. I felt much better. Dinner was lovely. Brett had surfaced at that point. Lazy fucker. Next time he says a word about being up early with Scarlett I’ll remind him of the time I got up with a hangover to deal with her, when he was very incapable of doing so!


Monday 17th (Easter Monday):

We got up today and I packed our stuff. Brett said he was going to the tattooist in Epsom to book in his ink. So we tagged along. We had some lunch then we came home. Chilled for a bit then we jumped on a train home. Think we got back at about 6ish. I bathed Scarlett and put her to bed.


Tuesday 18th:

Scarlett had Nursery and I had a lay in. Technically I didn’t. I still got up with her at 7ish but after I’d fed her, dressed her and shipped her off to Nursery, I climbed back in bed lol my nan picked her up at 12:30 like normal. I went round to pick her up a bit later. I had a doctors appointment at 3:50pm. We ended up having dinner with my nan then we came home. She went to bed at 7:30 like normal but at midnight, just as I was settling for bed, she woke up and was up for the next 2 hours. I think I didn’t get to sleep until 3am.

Wednesday 19th:

Woke up to a lovely swollen hayfever eye. Not surprising I was tired though, after being up till 3am. Sent her off to Nursery as I had stuff to do. Had to tidy my room and hoover the upstairs. Plus do some washing. Clean the dishes. Just random crap really.

Today (20th):

Today I was due to meet my bestie in London for a playdate but she couldn’t make it due to a fire at Euston station and some other incident going on. Shame but it what it is! So me and Scarlett stayed home all morning so she could nap after playing with me. After she woke up we grabbed our coats and walked to my nan’s house. We had lunch and played a bit then she had a short nap. We stayed for dinner then we walked home.


I put her to bed at 7:30. She was tired but spent about 20 minutes rolling around her cot talking to herself. I love listening to her.

I watched Emmerdale then I packed Scarlett’s stuff for her overnight stay at my nan’s tomorrow. Brett’s birthday is tomorrow. He is going to be 25. I’m taking him away for the night. It’ll be good fun. My nan is babysitting :)

Just watching Chicago Justice catch up and waiting for Brett to arrive.

TTFN x

The last day

Saturday 25th:

I took Scarlett into town for lunch. We had a little mother-daughter date at Poppins cafe. Then we had a wander around the town. I let her “walk” a little inside the shopping centre. She quite enjoyed herself.

After town we met my mom and went food shopping. We took it home and packed it away then went round my nan’s house. I don’t see her much in the week as I’m working. I see her for a minute when we drop Scarlett to her in the morning and that’s it.

Sunday 26th (Mother’s Day):

I took my nan, mom and Scarlett out for dinner for Mother’s Day. My grandad was coming initially but he was still in hospital so he couldn’t make it. He was fine. Just being kept in until they could get hold of his kidney specialist who apparently was busy lol we had a nice meal the 4 of us then we went to my nan’s for a cuppa tea before heading home. It was a good day. I ended up with 2 cards “from” Scarlett. That was nice. They’ll go in her memory box.

Monday 27th:

Payday! I hate Mondays though. Scarlett must’ve hated it too as she screamed for 45 minutes at bed time. It was hard to take as she’s never like that. Was a shock to my system lol

My grandad came home. Finally. They released him but he left his meds up there so my mom said she’d run him up the next day to pick them up. What is he like? Lol

Tuesday 28th:

For the first time in the 6 months I’ve been back at work I missed Scarlett so much that I needed to see her. Like desperately. So I had my mom meet me for lunch and bring her with her. It soothed my unsettled soul. If only temporarily.

Wednesday 29th:

I had an epic day! I fell out with a coworker and was treated like a 5 year old by another. #winning

I finally got my Mother’s Day gift from Scarlett (aka my mom and Brett). My mom picked it. Scarlett broke my necklace last month. It was the one I got for my first Mother’s Day last year. Mom said she’d replace it. She did. But with the same necklace that “Scarlett” got me for Christmas, only 3 months ago lol so we’ve took it back and we’ll decide on something different haha 

Thursday 30th:

I bought a blackout curtain on Amazon on Tuesday and it arrived today so after work my mom put it up (longer arms than me). It should keep her from waking up too early when it’s light out and going to bed at a reasonable time when it’s light out. Here’s hoping lol

Friday 31st (today):

The end of March has come and it seems a little quick. Where has the time gone? I remember playing for my week of in April and it seemed so long away. Now it is 2-3 weeks!!! Mom took me and Scarlett home after I finished work. I bathed her and then she dropped us at my Nan’s as I was having dinner there. Scarlett had to join in too, even though she had already eaten dinner at nursery. #greedy We stayed for a cuppa tea and my Nan dropped us home at 9:30. Scarlett was in bed by 10pm. I am just binge watching Iron Fist. I quite like it and I hope there is a season 2.

TTFN x

Steak & BJ Day

Thursday 9th:

Finally booked an appointment to see the doctor. I had tried to make appointment over this particular issue months ago and the receptionist kept making me a telephone appointment but the doctor I spoke to said they cannot discuss that kind of thing over the phone lol

Friday 10th:

Scarlett has learned how to stack things, like her megablocks. The nursery posted a video on their Tapestry app for me to see. She is so clever. My little bobblehead!

Saturday 11th:

We went to my nan’s for lunch and ended up staying all day. Mom ran me to the shops when Scarlett was napping so I could grab some bits I needed for work. We had dinner with my grandparents. We went up the chip shop. Scarlett had fish and chips. She loves fish! She is gross lol I hate fish. We went home and she went to bed at about 9ish.

Brett went out for a meal with his family as it was his cousin’s 18th. After they finished eating and had a drink he got on the train. It ended up delayed and he didn’t arrive at my front door until 1:30am. We didn’t get in to bed until 3am. Well I got into bed at 3am. He came up at 4am, he woke me up climbing into bed lol

Sunday 12th:

After only a few hours sleep Scarlett got up. She had a bottle, played thne had breakfast. I brought her up to say hi to her “dad dad” and she was super excited. Put her down for a nap and crawled into bed. She slept for 2 hours and then we all got up for the day. We had dinner at my nan’s and then Scarlett had a nap. We just chilled out then when she was awake we walked home.

She went to bed and we both had a shower then chilled with a film. Scarlett woke up when we were just headed to bed so he went and sorted her out. She was hungry so I made her a bottle and he fed her.

Monday 13th:

Woke up for work. Scarlett was awake so I woke Brett up and dumped her on his lap so I could get ready for work. He had her all day and they had a really good day until she almost swallowed a 5p and that scared him, obviously. Then he didn’t shut the stair gate properly and had to rush downstairs mid-poo before she hurt herself. So he was a tad stressed when I got back from donating blood. I left work at 4pm for my donation session appointment at 4:30. I was done and dusted by 5:30 so we got home at 6pm. I cooked us dinner. We had pizza with cheesy garlic flatbread. We dropped him to train station then went to my nan’s for a cuppa tea. Scarlett went to bed at 9, again lol

Tuesday 14th (today):

So today is officially “Men’s Valentine’s Day”. Brett was not here so he couldn’t reap the benefits. Although he would’ve probably not liked me cooking steak as I am a rubbish cook lol

I left work at 4pm for my 4:30pm doctor’s appointment. I arrived at 4:15pm and used the machine to check in then I sat down. By 5pm I had lost the will to live so I went to reception and asked if my doctor was running behind. After sharing my details the receptionist informed me that my appointment had been cancelled. Apparently I had been left a voicemail last week, which I had not returned. Which basically was her way of insinuating this was my fault. I knew the surgery had not left me a voicemail regarding a cancellation but nonetheless I asked when the voicemail was supposedly left. She said it was March 7th. Absolutely bullshit. I didn’t make the appointment until March 9th so it is impossible to receive a cancellation over something that wasn’t even booked yet. I explained all this and the attitude I got was ridiculous so I just re-scheduled the appointment for next week and left otherwise I would’ve ended up being rude.

Scarlett didn’t want to go to bed at 7pm so I let her sit with me whilst I watched Emmerdale then she played for a bit and eventually she was ready to sleep at 8:30. Naughty little minx!

I am just catching up on some tele. Mom is out. She will be back later.

TTFN x

Throwback Thursday

Well Monday I was SHATTERED. Scarlett had me up on and off ALL NIGHT due to her awful cough and just general feelling unwellness. I went to work and felt like a zombie.

Tuesday was the same. She really isn’t well. I hate it when she is unwell. I can always tell because usually she wrecks my lounge and she hasn’t really bothered recently. Harry came to see her. He observed bath time again. That seems to be our ritual now. He interacts with her in the bath and does the washing parts whilst I get her pyjamas out in her room and get her creams ready etc. Then I dress her and the takes her back downstairs.

Wednesday (yesterday) I tried to get Scarlett a doctors appointment but after the line being busy every time I rang I gave up. Harry came around again. He gave her some milky bar chocolate. She’s never had chocolate before (like, duh, of course she hasn’t) but I didn’t say anything. It was only a little bit. He watched bath time again. When I was undressing her before the bath I pulled her shirt over her head and Harry pulled her trousers off. She looked at him like “what the fuck you doing?” It was hilarious. She had proper eyebrows going as well. He left at 7pm. I fed her her bottle and she was soon flat out so I laid her in the cot at 8pm. She has been so good considering she isn’t very well.

Today I managed to get her an appointment but it was for 11:40. I was leaving at 12 as I booked a half day so I left the office at 11:15 as I had to pick her up before going to the doctors and I needed plenty of time. I owe 45 minutes to work so I’ll just have a shorter lunch for 2 days. The doctor saw her and said she has got Bronchiolitis and to keep an eye on her breathing. If it becomes raspy or rapid to ring 111. I asked about her eczema (because of her dad and his skin, plus mine) as it has gotten really bad. I accept that the weather changing could effect her skin but she just looks so red and sore. So they’ve given her a steroid cream to try on her legs and the patch on her face plus they’ve changed her normal cream to see if that one is better. We will see.

img_7140img_7132

I picked her cream up. The steroid one was available but the other one needs picking up tomorrow. She had some dinner earlier then she had a bath, like normal. I creamed her up and put some snufflebabe on her feet and chest to help her breathe. She went to bed at half 8.

I watched some tele and then did some washing up. It is Friday tomorrow. Finally the weekend. I love Friday’s at work. We can dress casual and I always seem to work harder because I know it is the weekend soon. Weird!

So ummmm the Presidential Elections for 2016 came to ahead yesterday and ummmmm Donald Trump won. There are NO words. He is in. End of. Finito. Finished. Awesome, right?

The answer to that is NO. I am so glad I am not American but I do think him being POTUS will have an effect on us here in Britain, what kind of effect is unknown. Only time will tell.

On more important news: Today marks the 1 year anniversary of our dear old friend Patricia passing. She died suddenly a year ago and after her husband’s blessing, Scarlett dedicated her middle name to her. This was decided 4 days from now (last year) when I finally learned that she WAS a she lol kept us all waiting for 29 weeks!!!! #ScarlettRosePatricia

I am in bed. I am tired. I have work tomorrow and a kind of busy weekend. We have a party Saturday and church on Sunday.

TTFN x

19 weeks

Thursday: Scarlett’s doctors appointment was fine. The lump in her leg *should* go but I’m to keep an eye on it. The doctor examined her skin. She reckons she has a little bit of eczema so she prescribed her something to put in her bath water and some cream for afterwards. If it works she’ll put it on repeat prescription for her.

Brett went home Thursday evening. Early. As he was working Friday.

Friday: We got the train to my dads house as we were spending the day with him, my stepmom and the kids. We jumped in the car at lunch and drove to Portsmouth. It’s only 20-25 minutes from where he lives. We decided we’d eat but everywhere was full so we booked a table for 2 and decided to use our waiting time to go up the Spinnaker Tower. I went up there last year on holiday when I was 14 weeks pregnant. It was strange going up again but with an 18 week old baby.

13329550_1226858247347601_2241678215474302961_o

I laid her on the glass floor and we walked across it. Heights don’t bother me.

After the tower we settled in for lunch. I had had a cold for a few days so my nose was blocked and I couldn’t taste anything. I ordered a Rodeo Chicken burger with cheese. It was delicious. The chicken was grilled and the bun was sesame and poppy seeds. It came with chips and I had ordered a side of garlic flat bread.

The boys wanted to go up the Spinnaker again so I had a wander around the shops. I went into GAP but I didn’t see anything I liked. My stepmom went in and she found a lovely pink romper so she bought Scarlett that. It is going in the suitcase for holiday.

My dad dropped us back at the train station at 7ish and we were off the train at 8. Mom hadn’t eaten and I had only had lunch so we grabbed a bite then went to my nan’s for a cuppa.

Saturday: We went to my nan’s and tried out some bubbles. She wasn’t quite sure about them as they kept popping before she had chance to study them. It wasn’t that warm so we tried out her new coat. I bought it ages ago and it had been in her wardrobe. It is waterproof and slightly lined so it will keep the wind and rain out. I think I will put it in her suitcase for holiday in case the weather is shitty.

Sunday: We had dinner at my nan’s house. It was a lot warmer so I took our new paddling pool round and set it up. I had bought a soft jigsaw mat so we put that underneath so it was soft for her to sit and lay in the pool. I filled up the pool and stripped to my undies. We sat in there together (well she laid in it) for ages. Afterwards we got out, I dried and dressed her then we went home.


Yesterday (Monday): I needed to pop to town and mom wanted to get her haircut so we drove in. She went off to the hairdressers and I walked round to get some Baby Sun Lotion for our holiday. Then I stopped by the nail bar and had my eyebrows done because they were bushy as fuck. I walked to meet mom and we ate lunch together. After lunch we stopped off at my nan’s. At 3ish we went in the paddling pool again. It was lovely sitting in there just relaxing. She was kicking away and giggling.


She was 19 weeks yesterday. She’s such a joy. She giggles and shouts. I sing to her a lot. She watches me intently. She also watches me eat which is very off putting. Weaning is a success. She has 1 jar a day at the moment. Usually split in to two. She has them at lunch and dinner time. Her favourite food so far is carrot. It’s a shame they’re orange and again EVERYTHING!!!

Tomorrow I have my dental referral with the consultant regarding my impacted wisdom tooth. I hope the surgery is soon. I want it out the way. Thursday we are popping in to work to say Hi. My friend’s birthday is that day so I’ve got a card for him. He’s 50!

We are up early tomorrow so I’m off to sleep. If I can. It’s so humid!

TTFN x

#TBT

Friday (27th) Scarlett had her third lot of jabs. She should’ve had them the week before, when she was 16 weeks but I had had to reschedule. She did not like them whatsoever. She screeched like never before. We got a lift to Morrison’s at lunch and I had something to eat before going next door to the baby clinic. I had little miss weighed and she’s gone from 10 lb 4 oz to 11 lb 2 oz. I guessed that weight because her pattern seems to be that she gains 2oz shy of 1 lb. At least she is still gaining, just slowly. I didn’t tell the health visitors that I’m weaning her lol they’ll just have a fit and say I’m silly because nowadays it’s “wait till they’re 6 months”.

I had a rough night with her after her vaccinations. In fact, most the weekend she was perpetually grumpy.

Saturday early evening we went to the pub. We sat in the garden enjoying the sunshine. Mom and I had a mix N match dinner. I only had 2 drinks but I felt a bit tipsy lol I hadn’t eat all day though. What we ate at the pub was ALL I had eaten.

Sunday we had a lovely roast dinner at nan’s house. You can’t beat a Nana’s roast dinner. Scarlett had her first taste of roast dinner. She seemed to like it.

Monday it was rubbish weather. Fancy that. Nan did dinner again as it was a bank holiday. My uncles wife had dinner too, with my two cousins Elsie and Macey. It was my step-moms birthday so I wished her happy birthday.

Tuesday I woke up feeling like utter shit. My nose was blocked, my throat was sore and I kept coughing every now and then. I felt so drained. In the evening Brett decided last minute to come and visit. So he got on the train at 10pm. My brother went to the train station to meet him. He got to ours at midnight. We didn’t get into bed till 1am then we had a catchup and before we knew it, it was 4am. Just as we was settling to go to sleep Scarlett woke up. I settled her then I went to sleep. She woke up at 7am. I’d had 2 hours sleep. I was so tired. So I sorted her out with a feed then we got 2 hours sleep. She woke at 10am. Brett took her downstairs at half 10ish so I could nap. I didn’t fall asleep till 12ish. Woke up at 2pm. He fed her twice in that time and dressed her etc. I’m so lucky to have him. He’s really good to me and her. And I should always remember that when I’m ever mad at him. When I was up and dressed we went into town. We had a late lunch and I got my little brother’s their birthday cards then we went home.

I love having him around. I feel our relationship would be much better if we lived together. I love how he is with Scarlett. She is all smiles for him and chats away to him. It makes my heart swell so much, it’s crazy!

We watched a film in my moms room so we didn’t disturb Scarlett with the tele on. We laid on her bed watching Kung Fu Panda 2. He was feeding me skittles but only the flavours I like. Every now and then his hand would appear in front me, I would open my mouth and he’d drop some skittles in. It was weirdly romantic.

Today Scarlett woke up at 6ish. I fed her then she went back to sleep for a bit. I watched Monkey Life as I couldn’t go back to sleep. She’s awake again so I’ve put something on the tele for her. She was just watching Ben & Holly. Brett is going home today I think. I had thought of inviting him to my dad’s house tomorrow (as I am visiting) but I think my dad would moan. He doesn’t like it when I change or alter our plans.

I’ve finally got a doctors appointment for next week to discuss contraception. So far we’ve just been using condoms but religiously! We had 1 mishap about 5 weeks ago where the condom broke and I had to go down to the chemist for the morning after pill. I’m well aware of the fact that I could get pregnant (assuming Scarlett’s conception wasn’t a total fluke)  and we don’t want a baby till we’ve been together at least a year. I have said I’d like to try for one once we’ve move in together and Scarlett is 1.5-2 years old.

Scarlett has an appointment for today at 11:30am to look at her skin plus I want her leg looked at. She’s had a lump since her vaccinations on Friday.

Hopefully going to go back down for a nap now as she’s rubbing her face. So I’m going to join her. Brett is in my bed asleep. We are in my moms as she’s at work.

TTFN x 

Here come the hormones

Last week I finished the week feeling really crappy. My cold had finally buggered off but emotionally I felt spent. I felt like all I had done was keep my emotions in check, my mouth shut and I felt royally useless after the meeting I had at work. Friday I had a half day. I saw my grandparents and we went to the groery store. Saturday I had my nails done then my Mom swung us past McDonald’s for some dinner then we stopped at my Nan’s to eat it. We picked up Frankie from hers and went home to get sorted for the party. We thought the day was later than it was so we ended up with all 3 of us washed and it was 6pm lol we didn’t need to leave ours till 7:45. Instead of dressing Frank, to get himself dirty before we even left, I had him sat in a nappy and a dressing gown. We watched Peppa Pig then I went up to get him dressed. I sent him downstairs and got myself ready. Make up on, shoes on, hair ready and ready to go as I already had picked my outfit so I threw that on and we left.
We left the party after 10:30. Frank was getting arsy because he was tired. We got home and into bed. He didn’t take long to nod off and I followed him shortly after. In the morning we got up, had breakfast, I bathed him then we went to my grandparent’s. We were having dinner there. We spent the whole afternoon there and later when his mom turned up to get him, she had her dinner then she walked me home as she was giving the dog a run.
I don’t know why, but I just started crying because I had been telling her how I had messed up something at work and had to have a meeting for it. She told me that hormonal changes ARE normal but she said if all I do is cry lately and it is because I am stressed then I should see my doctor. I was worried that because I had depression in my teens, they may judge me now I am pregnant and think I cannot cope with my baby. She says I am being silly and they won’t do that. They understand pregnancy is hard and sometimes your brain doesn’t cope with the chemical changes. Getting help is nothing to be ashamed off IF I am indeed feeling some kind of mood shift, on a downer. I agreed that I would phone my doctor first thing.

Today all I have done is cry. My mom and I had a McDonald’s breakfast on our way to work and I cried into that. Then at work I cried on the phone to the receptionist at my doctor’s surgery. I got a telephone appointment but I missed the call because my work landline was ringing but my doctor left a voicemail saying I need to book to see her so I managed to get an appointment for 12:20. I cried talking to my manager, when she asked me why I had a doctor’s appointment and was I okay? I cried a few more times when I was in the loo then I had the aforementioned meeting. Afterwards I went to my appointment. My mom picked me up. I cried in the appointment and felt really silly tbh. She says that she thinks what I am feeling is perfectly normal but as she knows I am wary of the fact I have suffered with depression before, she wants me to come back to see her next week and see how I feel then. Mom and I had lunch then I went back to work. I felt better but I am still not myself. I do dislike being pregnant sometimes. For the most part it is fine but when I feel like this, I just think WTF? I am thankful to be pregnant, of course. I just wish it wasn’t so turbulent.

I have my rescheduled 20 week anatomy scan tomorrow morning. Do we think baby will cooperate for gender? No! lol

I am 22 weeks. 18 weeks to go. I go on Mat Leave in just under 3 months. I am really excited about Christmas. It’ll be my last one before the baby is here. I booked a 4D scan for November. I will be a day shy of 29 weeks. I can’t wait.

TTFN x