1 more sleep

Monday wasn’t that bad. I had a slow day at work. Apparently no one was doing anything in the business as I only received a few emails all day. Weird!

I taught her to say “Happy Birthday to you”. She says it in the cutest way!

Tuesday I still felt like shit. My throat was doing my head in and my eyes were sore. They haven’t itched that bad in ages. Took me by surprise. My mom went to her boyfriends. I watched the second part of Silent Witness then the season finale of Grimm and the ending of Delicious season 2.

I tossed and turned all night. My neck felt sore and my head felt too heavy for my body. It was weird.

Today when my alarm went off at 6:30 I felt so tired. My throat was raging. I took some painkillers then called in sick. I got up with Scarlett, sorted her out then my mom dropped her at my nans then we had breakfast. I got myself a Doctors apointment for 10:40. I started watching this new series on Netflix called Hemlock Grove. It’s proper weird so it’s right up my street. I watched 2 episodes then I headed to the doctors. They said it’s viral. Surprise! I can’t complain tbf as I don’t like antibiotics anyway.

My nans house is next to the surgery and it was raining buckets so I dashed to her house and stayed there. Scarlett arrived at lunch and went down for a nap. I chilled then she had some dinner. She didn’t eat much. Sometimes she’s not quite ready for it. So we took what was left, home. She ate more then had 2 yoghurts for pudding. I put her in the bath at 6pm. Mom put our dinner on. I did Scarlett’s bottle then mom put her to bed. We ate then we watched some TV.

I wrapped up Scarlett’s presents. Put her balloons and bunting in place.

I’ve just finished watching an episode of Hemlock Grove and now I’m jumping in the shower quick before heading to bed.

Tomorrow I will be the mother of a 2 year old. So exciting!



4 days till baby is 2!

So I’ve just had the shittest day I’ve had in ages. And a lot of it was fuelled by tiredness, hunger, hormones and the bastard rain.

Friday’s journey to Brett’s house wasn’t bad. Just bit packed on the train. That’s the problem with travelling at rush hour. We got on the 5:15 and got off at 6:35 so not too bad. Brett met us on the platform. His mom was in the car waiting.

When we got back we had some dinner. We had chip shop because it’s a Friday. Scarlett had already eaten at Nursery so she just had some chips. Brett bathed her then we put her down to bed at 9:30. She took ages to drop off.

Brett fell asleep on the sofa at 10. I left him. I climbed into his bed. Played my iPhone games then went to sleep at 12:30. He climbed into bed at some point, he woke me up. But we both went back to sleep.

Saturday Scarlett stirred at 6:55. I heard her but as she’d woke me, I really needed a wee so I ran past her cot and went upstairs. When I came back down she’d settled so I climbed into bed and went back to sleep. I heard her again at 9:30. She was singing. I left her till almost 10 then I got her up. Brett didn’t get up. It annoyed me. He eventually came out the bedroom after Scarlett had already gone shopping with his mom and I had had a shower.

When they got back we headed out to see his family. We stopped at McDonald’s on the way as I was starving and Scarlett needed some lunch. We ate on the way. We were there till 3 then we headed back. I put Scarlett down for a nap. She slept for 90 minutes. I woke her up trying to get past the cot (his room is an obstacle course).

We put her dinner on at 6ish. She ate at 6:30. She had waffles, fish fingers and beans. Then a yoghurt. Standard lol

We ate at 7ish then I put her in the bath. Took ages to get her to go to sleep. Mostly because Brett was on the PS4 and took ages to get off it. We put her down then we watched a film in the front room. We watched paycheck. Not bad film. It had you guessing things, which I like.

He played his PS4, again. Whilst I played my game on my phone in bed. I went to sleep at about 1ish.

Sunday (today) I didn’t hear Scarlett until 9. She was singing so I left her be. Must’ve fell asleep. Woke up at 10 and she was quiet. Rolled over to wake Brett up. Told him it was 10 and we should get up. Slide off the bed to see her and the cot was empty. I figured his mom must’ve picked her up so I went upstairs for a wee. On the stairs I could see her feet on the sofa, she was sat with his brother. So I brushed my teeth and came down to get dressed. I told Brett we needed to relieve his brother from babysitting duties. He just stayed there so I left the bedroom and went into see Scarlett. She had already had her bottle. Then she had some grapes and a yoghurt. The dog was asleep on the sofa and Scarlett slammed her hand down when running past. It startled him and he bit her. She was really upset. I picked her up and took her into the kitchen so I could see her hand. It was a smallest of grazes. I tried to console her but she was heartbroken. I washed her hands to be safe (let’s be honest, dogs lick their own arses). I told her it was okay and he didn’t mean it, she just spooked him. Her cry was really getting to me. I could feel my eyes watering. I hate crying. And I hate public crying even more. I held it back till she composed herself. I took her in the lounge to dress her. She was much calmer. Then she took her dirty nappy out into the kitchen to put in the bin. There was people in the kitchen so I seized my chance to escape upstairs. I had a wee and cried. I cried because my heart hurt. I don’t like when she’s upset. I don’t like not being able to control things. It wasn’t really anyone’s fault. The dog is old and was asleep. She startled him. But he shouldn’t bite. I’m so hormonal. Since the coil I’ve been skipping my period every other month. And it’s annoying. Because yeah, no blood, yay brill. But hormones still rain on me. So I’m either a blubbering mess or a psycho bitch. No inbetween #ideal

I tried to put her down for a nap before dinner. Brett was on his PS4 and didn’t get the hint when I said I wanted to put her to sleep. So after 90 minutes of trying I gave up. Then we had dinner. We got our stuff together and we left to get the train at 4ish. There was rail replacement buses from Woking (2 stops from Home) and I can’t do them buses as they are coaches and I get motion sickness. So I asked my mom if she minded picking us up from Woking. My brother’s girlfriend lives in Woking so she said yeah ok I’ll drop her back when I get you. So ok cool.

We got off the train at 5pm. It’s been raining for 2 days. So it’s soaking wet outside. They tell me to exit via platform 5. So I do. Then I’m told they got stuck because there is a road closed and they got diverted for like 2 miles and can’t get to me so can I go back through the station to platform 1’s exit. So I go back in and explain to the guard. They let me through. I come out the other exit. See mom waving down the road so walk as fast as I can carrying our overnight bag and pushing the stroller. Eventually we’re all in the car. Wet but in. Off we go to drop Natalia home. Scarlett is asleep within minutes. Not ideal. But whatever.

We had to divert again on the way home but we finally arrived just after 6. Kitchen was a mess. The water was still turned off. My mom nipped next door to ask if she could fill up some bottles with water so we could at least make tea. Scarlett had a hissy fit. She sounded like she was in pain. She was really upset. She wouldn’t let anyone pick her up off the floor. She ended up in my mom’s arms and she handed her to me. She calmed down. I asked her what was wrong. She said her elbow hurt (no idea) so I asked if she wanted me to kiss it better. She said Yeah. So I did. Then I asked if she wanted her tea. She shook her head. I said what do you want? She said “my bottle”. So I put her pyjamas on and wiped her face (no bath so it’s the best I could do) then I made her milk. She drank it and seemed to perk up. My mom’s friend came round to fix the pipe on the washing machine. Scarlett said Nunight at 7:30 and I took her up. She went to sleep. Water was back on so I watched Vera at 8 then at 10 I got in the shower. Omg it was so nice to wash my hair. I hate going to work with greasy hair and lately my hair is nothing but greasy. Ughhh!

I laid on my bed for a while after, enjoying the warmth from the heating that had come on whilst I was showering.

Now I’m in bed. Can’t sleep as I didn’t get up till 10 but I’ll try my best!

Scarlett is turning 2 in 4 days (although it’s almost 3 days now). It’s gone by so quick but at the same time it’s gone slowly.

I’m off to dream about the time when my kitchen wasn’t a shit hole, my hair wasn’t constantly greasy and I didn’t feel like shit (sore throat is back).


2 sleeps until Italy

Forgot to say yesterday that the nursery phoned me at 10am to say Scarlett had banged her head. They didn't want her picked up, just wanted to let me know. It's a lovely bruise lol

I was late to work this morning, even though we were up on time. Time just got lost somewhere. Only late by a few minutes. Was soaking wet outside, had been raining all night.

I walked into the reception area at work and was rummaging in my bag for my pass as I passed the reception desk. The lady said "morning", to which I replied "morning" and carried on walking and rummaging. Next thing, she's yelled "HELLO?" I turned around and went "excuse me?" Because how rude is that. To yell at someone. Across a room like that. We could've had clients sat waiting for a meeting. So unprofessional. She went "I said morning", to which I replied "Yes, so did I" and then I walked off, pass in hand and into my office. It really irritated how rude she was. What a great start to my day!

I had a busy morning then a slow afternoon. I was suppose to have a telephone interview at 1pm but I totally forgot and then I remembered it was for a job too far away so I figured it was a sign I shouldn't bother pursuing it.

After work we came home and I gave Scarlett the leftovers of her dinner from my nan's house. She had a cup of tea. We all did. I bathed her and then put her to bed at 7. She messed about for a bit. And I had to go up a few times and sort her out but she eventually went to sleep. I had my dinner and now I'm watching Salem! #obsessed

2 sleeps until Italy. Getting real now. Brett's here tomorrow. He says he's aiming to arrive for 1/2pm.


5 days till Italy

So I got up with Scarlett at 7:45am. Was a decent lay in. She had a bottle and a nappy change. We watched some teletubbies and she sat on my lap for ages, which made me think she was probably tired. I made her breakfast then I put her down for a nap. Brett got up just before 10 and we had a bicker in the kitchen because he had pissed me off in the morning by almost knocking me out when dreaming [which itself isn’t an issue] and then when I was nice and asked if he was ok/dreaming? He got really attitudinal with me and then he was whinging that Scarlett was crying [I was putting her down for a nap] so I swore at him and left the bedroom. He came out a bit later and yeah we argued. His mom decided to get in the middle and told us to grow up. Brett was annoyed because he wouldn’t interfere in her relationship with his Dad, so she shouldn’t do it to us. But her argument was that it’s her house and she doesn’t want arguing in her house. She said [not to me, to Brett whilst I sat there feeling awkward as fuck] that I need to learn to “handle” him better. I am still young apparently and bite too quickly. Not sure having the hump over his attitude is anything to do with my age, just the fact I don’t like being spoken to like shit. But anyways, I was just still angry so I kept my mouth shut and sat there like a fucking lemon feeling more awkward by the minute.

We went into the shops once Scarlett woke up from her morning nap. I felt sick because I was so hungry as it was lunch time at this point. And we went into the pet store and it stank I almost vommed lol so I waited outside. We headed back. Scarlett had a sandwich and then I put her back down for a nap at half 2. She woke up just in time for dinner at 4ish. She didn’t eat much dinner, which I expected as she had just woke up. Brett and his dad had a blazing row in the kitchen whilst washing up. Not entirely sure what it was over. I was in the lounge changing Scarlett’s shitty nappy so I only heard snippets. They’ve never rowed when we’ve been there before. So was a little unsettling to hear 2 grown men going at each other. Scarlett obviously could hear and it upset her a little. Contrary to what you may believe, we don’t yell at each other in my house an we certainly have never in front of Scarlett. Brett picked her up when he had calmed down and I packed our stuff up. His mom drove us to the station at 6. Our train was 6:18pm. We got home at 7:30. My mom picked us up and we went home.

She had a bath and went to bed for 8:30ish. I had a quick shower myself and then caught up with Midnight, Texas that was on Thursday. Mom and I went up to bed at about 10ish. I was quite tired so I am thinking of going to sleep soon. Just laid in bed with my lovely mosquito bites that are itchy. I keep coming across a new one. So far I have 5.

5 days until Italy. I should count “sleeps”. So we have Sunday night, Monday night, Tuesday night, Wednesday night and Thursday night so that is 5 sleeps. Getting closer and I feel unprepared lol


6 days till Italy

So we managed to get on the train at 5:15 yesterday and we arrived at 6:30. That's 45 minutes earlier than usual. We always have a takeaway on a Friday at Brett's so we had McDonald's and then Brett bathed Scarlett. Then I gave her a bottle and I put her to bed. We watched some of the World Althetics things on tv then I got into bed. Brett fell asleep at 11pm. I kept waking up because of various things and I had a shit nights sleep.
His dad came in this morning to wake him for work and Scarlett woke up at the same time. Was about 6:45. I changed her nappy then made her a bottle. Tried to get her to nap as she didn't go to bed until late last night but she wouldn't have it lol ended up playing blocks and watching teletubbies then we had breakfast then she finally went back down. I was going to join her but I resisted the urge.
When she woke up we went shopping with Brett's mom. Scarlett munched on some chocolate animal biscuits whilst we shopped. We headed home and I made us lunch. She played a little. By 2 she was ready for a nap but I put her down and she didn't go to sleep. By this time Brett was in from work. She played some more and then I put her back down at 3ish. She woke up at 4:30.
His mom cooked me and Scarlett dinner at 5:45 as Brett wasn't hungry. So we ate. She ate the same as me plus she had a yoghurt for pudding. She's so greedy for someone so tiny. After dinner I got ready to go cinema with Brett. He was asleep so he was woken up so we could go. He wasn't even in the mood to go as he's sick with a cold. I told him we didn't have to go. But he insisted. So we went. The movie was at 7:10. He got a hotdog before it started so we sat for 15 minutes outside the screens whilst he ate then we headed in. We watched Spider-Man homecoming. It wasn't too bad. There was a young kid next to me who kept kicking my damn leg every time she moved. It got me so annoyed because I cannot tell her to stop it because she's a child and I'm likely to get stabbed in london lol if she had been a grown ass woman I'd have said to her "are your legs too long that you can't keep them to your own damn side?" Although tbf I'm still likely to get stabbed lol was really grinding on me that she was doing it.
We got picked up at 10 and when we got back Scarlett was still up. His mom said she had her bath and was just happy playing. She started to flag a bit when we got home so Brett changed her nappy and I did her a bottle. She was flat out by 10:40.
I'm now laid in Brett's bed playing solitaire on my phone whilst he watches some film with his dad.
We're off home tomorrow. Back to reality but on the upside, I'm only working 4 days next week!!!
6 days left till Italy. Getting closer. Scary and exciting!!!

1 week to go till Italy

Can’t believe it is only 1 weeks till we jet off to Italy. 7 days. 7 days!!!!!!!!!!!! Can you tell I am excited?

It is Brett’s brother’s birthday today. I sent a card in the week, from Scarlett. Even though we are going there tonight. Just felt less hassle because at least I know he already has it.

We went for dinner last night. I had buttermilk fried chicken. I love it!!!!!! It was good catching up with my brother. He has expressed interests in wanting to move back home. I don’t think this is a good idea. He will just end up just as unhappy here as he clearly is at his Dad’s. But it’s not my choice apparently. My mom says he can move back if he gets a job back home, before moving. So yeah.

We got home at 7:30. I bathed Scarlett then put her to bed. We watched Emmerdale then I decided to get in to bed. I had a headache. I think I switched my phone off at 10:30.

Today I woke at 6am desperate for a pee. I never wake up usually lol I got up at 7. Mom dressed Scarlett whilst I looked for leftover items to pack for Brett’s house. We headed out at 7:30. Today Scarlett wasn’t being dropped at nursery by my Nan. My mom said she would do it, so she came for the ride to my work with me. I gave her a kiss before I headed into my office. She was waving at me lol

Just on lunch watching Salem now.


8 days to go

So Scarlett’s item came from Amazon last night. It was her teletubbies backpack. I am hoping to use this as her “baby bag” from now on. She loved it. She wouldn’t leave it alone when we opened it. She kept pointing at it and saying “La-La”.

teletubbiesWe had dinner at my Nan’s house so we didn’t get home till 6ish. She played for a bit then I gave her a bath, bottle and then bed. I really can’t fault her. She is just so good at going to bed. She sometimes whinges to go to bed early lol I have been teaching her to say “love you”. She can. But only we can understand it. It isn’t clear enough yet.

I am heading off out for my lunch break soon. Mom is taking me to the shops so I can do some holiday shopping. I desperately need some shorts as it is between 30-35 degrees in Italy in August. I have just looked at the weather forecast and it says next Friday in Verona it’ll be 32 degrees when we land! Hopefully I find what I am looking for.

We are going out for dinner tonight as my brother is down visiting. So us 4 are heading straight out after I finish work. I have brought jeans to change in to as I don’t want to wear my work clothes out.