Father’s Day 2017

Thursday 15th:

Weather is too warm for me. Considering I am a “summer baby”, I really cannot stand the heat. Scarlett has been “okay” with it, so far. Today she just went to bed in a vest. No pyjamas. I tried to take her duvet out of the cot but she wouldn’t let me. So I left it. And tbh she hasn’t been silly and had it over her, she just likes laying on it so hopefully she won’t overheat.

Friday 16th:

It’s FriYAY. Brett came down at 10pm. My nan picked him up from the station. I cooked him some scrambled egg and sausages as he hadn’t eaten. He and my mom had a mini row because she was watching tele and he asked me a question. She rudely told him to STFU and he didn’t like that so he told her to chill as it’s just a TV show, which made her worse and she told him to go if he didn’t like it because it’s “her house”. So he left. He walked back to the station. But he had left his stuff here so he came back and then decided he would stay so our weekend wasn’t ruined. Not bad, they made it over a year before coming to blows lol

Saturday 17th:

Scarlett woke up at 6am. I changed her nappy and gave her a bottle. Thankfully she went back down for a few hours. I went back to sleep but it was so hot that I tossed and turned a lot. When she got back up I gave her some breakfast and we played, read some books and danced. I took her up to get dressed and we woke Brett up. He got dressed and we headed to my Nan’s so Scarlett could play in her garden and the paddling pool. They had on their matching “Father’s Day” t-shirts [see below]. We had a nice afternoon then my Nan did a BBQ. We were going cinema [date night] so we left Scarlett there with my mom so we could go home, shower and go. We watched “The Mummy”. It was good and they’ve left it open for a sequel. We got home just after midnight.

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Sunday 18th [today]:

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Father’s Day 2017!!!

So Brett got a personalised picture cup, the hero t-shirt [as seen] and a shirt that says “Super Daddio” – this one hasn’t arrived yet though! He also got a personalised card. I let him have a good la in [although that aint anything special, he usually sleeps in]. I took Scarlett up the old folks home to see my Gran, with my mom and Nan. When we got back I woke him up and he had a shower and we left him to it. We were going out for dinner at 1ish so we just waited for him to come to my Nan’s. We left at 1:15 for our meal. Scarlett ate loads and played games with Brett [she was sat between us]. We all had a pudding. Scarlett had ice cream. I will have to forewarn the nursery as the ice cream wasn’t dairy-free so it will undoubtedly affect her nappies for a few days. And whenever she has explosions they always assume she sick. She isn’t lol

We went back to my Nan’s after dinner. Scarlett ended up in a pair of 5-6 years knickers and just a pair of shoes in the garden but she was having fun. We left at 4pm. I put her down for a nap as she was knackered. Brett and I laid on the sofa trying not to melt and Mom had a nap as she is working tonight. Brett got a lift to the station at 6:30 when my mom left for work. Scarlett had a bath at 6:30 and then I put her down at 7:30. She started to settle then was up crying so I brought her downstairs for a bit. Her room GroEgg was saying 31 degrees. Too hot! I managed to swap her shitty fan for my mom’s fan as hers is better. Her room temp dropped to 30 and she went back to bed and finally settled. I kept checking her on the monitor until I went to bed myself. Then I checked her properly. She didn’t feel “hot to touch” so I think she’ll be okay. Just in bed playing Domino’s on Facebook with my mom [who is on her break at work].

TTFN x

I forgot to blog

Wednesday 31st:

My mother has taught my daughter how to say bugger. Thankfully it just sounds like “bubba”. But even so. She is naughty teaching her that lol

Thursday 1st:

June is here! Say what? The first half of the year has flown by but at the same time it has been so slow. Scarlett is 17 months old this month. Almost 1.5 years old. I think I can safely say she is a toddler now.

Friday 2nd:

Brett came down tonight. He got here at 10:30, so not too late compared to normal. We caught up with each other then got into bed. I had missed him even though we had had a massive row in the week.

Saturday 3rd:

We decided we would get the paddling pool out today if the weather was nice. It was. So we went to my Nan’s house for midday. Scarlett had an hour in the water [not that she got in. She just stood outside of it, playing with everything and throwing it in]. Then she had lunch then a nap. I sat outside most of the afternoon with my feet in the pool. Very cooling. We ended up having dinner at my nan’s. We had KFC. Haven’t had that in a long time as usually it doesn’t agree with my guts. We left afterwards. I bathed Scarlett and got her in her pyjamas then mom took over.

We left my house at 7:30ish for the bus to town. We then got another bus to the cinema. We had booked to watch Pirates of the Carribean: Salazar’s Revenge for 8:45pm in 3D. We saw my neighbours who offered us a ride home so that was nice of them. The film was good. I love Johnny Depp as Sparrow. We got home at 11ish.

I had turned my phone on after cinema and messages came through from pals. Apparently there had been an incident in London. Terrorism? There wasn’t vast amounts of details on the BBC news app [which I checked on our way home]. Apparently a car drove into pedestrians on the London Bridge and then further down in Borough Market they stabbed people in the streets. It wasn’t confirmed if it was a terror attack or whether there were fatalities. We went to bed and I thought of Scarlett, sleeping soundlessly in her, the horrors of the world unknown to her. Her biggest worry is when I tell her off or I don’t allow her to climb the stairs on her own.

Sunday 4th:

Today we woke and the story was: Terror attack in London has claimed the lives of 7 people and injured many more. Is it wrong that I really wanted to wake up to find it was just some poor chap under mental stress that did this? That it wasn’t terrorism related… I hate that we have had 2 attacks on British soil in less than 2 weeks. What is happening to MY country?

We went to my nan’s for Sunday dinner. Scarlett didn’t play much in the garden as it wasn’t as warm. We left for home in the early evening. Brett did bath time and then tried to put her to bed at 7ish. She took umbridge and would not go down for him. After 5 attempts she eventually realised that he was all she was getting, so she drank her bottle and went to sleep. I was cooking dinner so even if I wanted to “take over”, I had no intentions to. She is just so used to me putting her to bed every night. I have only not put her to bed a small handful of times. Such as the 2 days in July last year she stayed at my Dad’s. And the 1 night we went away in December for my work’s Christmas do. And 2 nights in February she was at my Dad’s. 1 night in April we were in Portsmouth. Any other day of her life I have been there to put her to bed. I am thankful that I can do that. I love our evening routine. I got in the shower after we ate and then we settled in bed with a movie. We watched The Huntsman 2. Brett hadn’t seen it whereas I had so when I felt sleepy, I didn’t mind falling asleep because I wasn’t missing anything lol

Monday 5th:

Back to work for me, and back to Nursery for Scarlett. I got up at 6:45, brushed my teeth and got dressed. Scarlett woke up at 7 so I went in and dressed her. I brought her into my room to say goodbye to Brett as he wouldn’t be there when we got back later. She wouldn’t go to him. She was being all silly. He had just woken up [I woke him] so he got the hump she wouldn’t say goodbye so I picked her up and went downstairs. We left about 7:20 to drop her off, then we had breakfast on our way to work.

Tuesday 6th [today]:

Yesterday marked 2 weeks since the Manchester bombing. Literally a fortnight has passed. Today we held a minutes silence at 11am for the fallen London victims. I really struggle to comprehend the world we live in at the moment. It makes me fearful of visiting “target” cities, such as London, Liverpool, Manchester etc.

On a better note, our first holiday is in less than 4 weeks. We have 27 days to go until we are going to Hastings for the week. I really hope the weather is dry if not hot. Dry is much easier to navigate as a non-driver, than the wet and cold weather. We have 9 weeks until Italy. That is exciting.

I have been looking at each destination we are staying/visiting for things to do. So far I have got this:

Verona:
Juliet’s House:
Everyone knows Romeo and Juliet’s balcony scene. “Wherefore art thou” and all that. Was it at this very balcony that these star-crossed lovers declared their undying love? Well, no. In fact, enterprising 20th-century locals tacked this balcony onto a mansion, sat back and watched the tourist “lire” roll in. But hey, why let the truth get in the way of a good story?

Castelvecchio:
Quite some doghouse. This impressive castle was built by mediaeval warlord Cangrande II, whose name means “big dog”. It’s a red-brick fortress crowned with funky crenulations that follow the battlements along Castelvecchio Bridge. In the end, Cangrande’s dog-eat-dog rule came to its logical end when he was killed by his brother in 1359.

Verona Cathedral:
Some people put a welcome doormat outside their door. Others hang a wreath. Maestro Niccolò, a 12th-century stonemason, went a whole lot further. Two snarling griffins flank the entrance to this cathedral. Above them stand ten prophets, four gospel emblems, three bible scenes, two holy warriors and a partridge in a pear tree. OK, we made the last one up. Still, beats a wreath.

Basilica of San Zeno:
Do you relish the Romanesque? Then this fine specimen will tick your architectural boxes. This basilica’s tough stone façade is an understated stunner. In the middle sits San Zeno’s trail-blazing rose window, used as a blueprint for much subsequent glasswork. The icing on the San Zeno cake is the stripy bell tower, poking skywards like a stack of stone Jenga.

A Secret Garden:
Just across the River Adige from the centre lies this hidden haven of peace. It’s a wonderful place to spend an afternoon, just wandering the beautifully manicured terraces or trying to crack the maze. Make sure you head up to the Belvedere garden for stunning views across Verona.

Views from Torre Lamberti:
See Verona from a different angle. This medieval bell tower is the place to come for the best views over the city’s squares and rooftops. There’s a spiral staircase, or you can whizz up in the lift. The views from the top are really incredible, but you’ll need a head for heights!

Piazza Bra:
Not your average village square. This massive cobbled piazza holds a Roman amphitheatre, several baroque palaces and a double-arched mediaeval gateway within its bosom. It’s also prime people-watching territory – tourists meander, street performers juggle and culture vultures flock to operatic soirees. Pull up a seat, order a spritz and gaze at human theatre in action.

Venice:
St Mark’s Square:
The colonnades, the bell tower, the column topped by a winged lion… it doesn’t get much more iconic than St Mark’s Square. This is the heart of Old Venice. Get there early to soak up the magic in total peace – just you and the square’s most famous residents, the pigeons. Then grab a quick macchiato from a nearby café and scale the Campanile bell tower for prime panoramas.

The Bride of Sighs:
Whoever said that Sighs doesn’t matter had clearly never been to Venice. This bridge is one of the city’s most iconic landmarks – a covered passageway wrought in gleaming Istrian limestone, hovering over the canal below. For one of Venice’s top romantic experiences, drift underneath on a gondola. Legend has it that a kiss with your beau at sunset will bring everlasting love.

Rialto Bridge:
“Will you marry me?” This legendary bridge has seen its fair share of marriage proposals over the years. It makes sense – once the daytime crowds have dissipated, there aren’t many more romantic spots. The stone steps, slanted colonnade and central portico are dreamily lit up after dark, providing the perfect stage for hearts to flutter and soar. Love is in the air!

Grand Canal:
Grand Canal – the clue’s in the name. This grandest of waterways is the prime place to soak up the majesty of Venice. Hop on a gondola and meander past magnificent mansions and lavish loggias that flaunt the city’s erstwhile riches. Keep your eyes peeled for the fabulous façades of Fondaco dei Turchi and Ca’ d’Oro, reflected in the ripples. The ultimate Venice experience.

Sacal Contarini del Bovolo:
Once you’ve taken your tourist snaps on the famous Rialto Bridge, enjoy a 10-minute walk to a lesser known spot, the Scala Contarini del Bovolo. This architectural marvel features an external spiral staircase that’s sure to leave you in awe!

Rome:
Capitoline Museums:
Not many museums can boast a tonne of Caravaggios, Titians and Rubens, yet still say that painting’s not its strongest suit. This collection of museums is best-known for its stunning sculptures. They include an iconic 5th-century BC bronze she-wolf that depicts Rome’s origins, the exceptionally well preserved “Dying Gaul”, and a whole host of intriguing, disembodied pieces from various sculptures down the ages.

Colosseum:
Picture this: you’re witnessing a bloody battle to the death, along with 80,000 screaming Romans. Mercifully, gladiatorial fights are a thing of the past but you’ll definitely be mentally transported to historic times with a visit to the Colosseum. The stone, brick and concrete structure has been standing since 80AD, constructed by order of the Roman Emperor Vespasian.

Trevi Fountain:
Much to the annoyance of his fellow gods who chose to simply materialise, Oceanus preferred to travel by cumbersome shell-shaped chariot. Constructed in 1762 at the height of the baroque, the Trevi Fountain is one of the world’s most elaborate – and romantic – fountains. The God Oceanus is the fountain’s centrepiece. Swimmers take heed: beware of the vigilant fountain police!

Pantheon:
The Pantheon has been a model of perfection for almost 18 centuries. Known for its perfect symmetry (the diameter of the dome is equal to the building’s height), it’s one of the most well preserved buildings of Ancient Rome – and an enduring symbol of architectural perfection. It’s also the resting place of King Vittorio Emanuele II, Umberto I and the artist Rafael.

Piazza Navona:
“Pope Innocent X was the king of 17th-century renovation, turning a disused stadium into a bustling square. Here you’ll find the extravagant Fountain of the Four Rivers by Bernini, whose arch-rival Borromini created The Church of St Agnes in Agone on the western side of the square. 17th-century drama aside, today Piazza Navona is home to many restaurants and cafés.
Piazza Navona, 00186 Roma, Italy”

Castel Sant’Angelo:
Hadrian was a vain emperor, building monuments to himself willy-nilly all over Italy. Hadrian’s mausoleum was originally constructed around 135AD and over time evolved into a fortress, castle … even a prison. Today it’s a museum containing sculptures, hidden causeways and ancient ruins. Ponte Sant’Angelo bridge has statues of angels sculpted by Bernini and his pupils.

Villa Ada Savoia:
This scenic spot in central Rome offers plenty of space for little legs to stretch with cycling, skating and a play area. Meanwhile, adults can relax under the shade of treetops.

We are staying in those 3 cities so hopefully we will see lots of sights. We are visiting Naples for one of the days we stay in Rome as Naples is only an hour away on the train. We want to sample the Napoli Pizza.

Just finished lunch now. Been reading lots lately. May actually hit my book challenge target this year. I need 3 more to be “on target”. Have read 6 out of 20 already.

TTFN x

Mom is home!

Tuesday 16th:

Today is my mom’s birthday. She is in Cyprus so we haven’t celebrated it with her. I sent her a “Happy Birthday” message and posted pics of Scarlett holding her birthday card that said “to nanny”, so that will have to do for now.

I had a half day today as I had a job interview scheduled for 3pm and Scarlett had the dentist at 5pm. So I left work at 12. Had lunch at my nan’s house. Chilled for a bit. Scarlett woke up before I left for my interview so I kissed her goodbye and off I went. It seemed to go okay. I got back to my nan’s for dinner and then we went to the dentist. She was really good.

Wednesday 17th:

I had lunch with my friend Rachel. She used to work with me at Mitie but she left on Monday. As I was off sick Monday I missed her farewell. Her and 2 other friends went for lunch, without me! So we agreed us 2 would meet. So we did. But the place nearby that we picked was unexpectedly closed so we ended up in McDonald’s. It was nice seeing her and chatting. We only ever use to have lunch together every other week as her lunch times alternated. One week she was on 12-1 and the other she was 1-2. I was always 1-2. She dropped me back to the office when we were done.

Thursday 18th:

I had my coil fitting appointment scheduled in for 08:50. I felt so dizzy and sick because my head was bad again so I called in sick. My manager said to mention it to my doc so I did. She did my BP and said it was low, so not a cause for concern. She reckoned it was most likely down to my hayfever stuffing my head up. So I had my coil fitted. People lie. Every female I spoke to about the subject said it was a “mild discomfort”, similar to a smear. I have had a smear. This was NOTHING like that, I tell ya! Honestly, the pain from a c-section hurt less than having this tiny device fitted! Also, they had to try twice as the first one they tried, popped back out due to “a narrow passage” [don’t even ask] so after two attempts, it is in! Success! We really do not want a baby in the foreseeable. I think this thing will most likely remain where it is for at least 3 years, but we shall see, I could change my mind in 18 months [not likely though]. I went back home after it was fitted because blood, and pain. I laid on the sofa for a while. At 3ish I walked to my nan’s and ended up staying for my dinner then me and Scarlett walked home.

She was so unhappy and she had so many nasty poos. She did 2 before Nursery, 2 at Nursery and my Nan had changed 1 before I arrived at 3. She then did 1 more not long after I got there, and then before bath time she had done 1 more. And then she got in the bath and did 1 in the bath. She was traumatised because I had to use the shower to hose her, and the bath, down. She screamed like I was murdering her. I fully expected my neighbours to pop by and check she was ok lol she had her bottle and went straight to bed. No fuss. I was really concerned about her, 8 poos is excessive. I am hoping it is just teething, not a bellyache/bug. I will check her a few times before I go to bed just in case she has pooed and not woke up. I don’t want her to get a sore butt.

Friday 19th:

Today I woke up late so didn’t have chance to eat breakfast. My mom got back from Cyprus in the night. She flew in at midnight but didn’t get home until gone 2 I think. She heard us get up so she came down to say Hi. Scarlett was more interested in watching Teletubbies. The usual lol my grandad picked us up, we swung by McDonald’s so I could grab breakfast then he dropped me at work. I had my first subway experience today. Note to myself for the future: make sure the steak doesn’t have peppers and onions in it. Spent 10 minutes digging through to pick them all out. So gross lol

We are due to go to Brett’s later. Aiming to get the 6pm train. I hope Scarlett isn’t as grumpy tonight as she was yesterday because it makes the journey much more stressful than it already is.

TTFN x

4 wake ups

Tuesday 2nd:

Today was Princess Charlotte’s 2nd birthday. It came up on my Facebook memories because I shared the announcement when she was born. I love the royals!

Wednesday 3rd:

I had the dentist today. I haven’t been since a follow up in July after my wisdom teeth extract surgery. For the first time in 2 years the dentist actually said my teeth were “fine” and didn’t require a cleaning, filling or whatever else. Pretty pleased with that because my maternity exemption ran out in January and I haven’t got money to pay for extras lol

I caught up with Pretty Little Liars. I can’t believe this season is the final one. Sad times!

Thursday 4th:

Blindspot catch up. As well as other shows. My focus is back a little. I can watch a whole episode and not feel fidgety. Progress! Brett got here at midnight. His face really annoyed me. I don’t know why. We had a row and went to bed.

Friday 5th:

We got up, Scarlett had breakfast then we headed off to the Harry Potter Tour in London. She fell asleep on the bus to the studio and we were early so Brett and I grabbed a sandwich in the studio cafe. The tour was brill but busy. They have added A LOT since I went with Reggie in 2014.


Scarlett did really well considering she wasn’t in the stroller much. We did take it with us rather than giving it to the information desk [they lock it away]. But she walked around the tour, mostly. We tried Butterbeer [Scarlett loved it] and I took home the souvenir mini tankard. We left at 4ish and headed for the bus back to the station. We got off the train at home just before 7 so my nan dropped us home. We had a good day. We got a lot of pics including the obligatory ones they do where you “ride a broom” lol we had dinner once she was in bed then we watched the Equaliser. Love a bit of Denzel.

Saturday 6th:

Today we went out at lunch to my Nan’s house. We had lunch then we got in the car to visit my aunt. It was a flying visit. My nan and Debbie had a cuppa. Scarlett played with the twins. I had a banging headache when we left so we stopped off at a shop so I could get some paracetamol and a drink. It took over an hour for it to fade away let alone go away. Eurgh! Hate those heads. We stayed at my nan’s for dinner and ended up going up the chippy. My grandparents, Brett and Scarlett had fish and chips. I had chicken curry [my version]. After dinner we went to Asda as Scarlett needed milk and then we went home. We got her in bed by 9 then we climbed into bed to watch Fantastic Beasts. Scarlett woke up really upset, coughing, tears and just overall unhappy. Brett saw to her. Took ages to settle her, she was not very happy. Managed to lay her back in bed eventually and we continued watching the film then we went to bed.

Sunday 7th:

Scarlett woke up at 8am but as she had been up in the night I gave her a bottle and put her back down. She slept until about 10ish. I just did some washing up and caught up with Riverdale. I woke Brett and asked if he was coming with us to visit my gran. He said no but he would get up and shower etc whilst we were out then meet us at my Nan’s when we were back as we were having dinner there. So I left with Scarlett at 10:30. We visited my gran and bumped into my nan’s sister who was visiting too. We left at 12ish and headed home. We detoured via my house and Brett was still asleep, as I predicted he would be. So I woke him, he jumped in the shower and I left. He came round my nan’s when he was ready. We had dinner. Scarlett played and then she had her supper then we went home. I bathed her, he dressed her so I could shower then she went to bed. We watched Harry Potter 6 then my mom got home so we chatted for a bit then we got into bed.

Monday 8th:

Scarlett had woken up once before we had gone to bed. In the night she woke a total of 4 times. Twice she was just crying, and twice she was coughing so much she woke up. Bless her. We had already agreed he would stay home with her today so he did. She didn’t wake up until 9:30, bless her. They had a good morning then they jumped in the car with my mom who picked me up from work so we could go food shopping. They picked me back up from work at 5. Brett went home at 7. Mom and I had dinner after I had bathed Scarlett. I put her to bed before we ate but it took her a while to drop off. She’s very fussy. But she’s asleep now so we are just watching Little Boy Blue.

TTFN x

Anxiety creeping

Brett turned up at 10:30ish. So not too late on Thursday. We tried to get an early night but we like to chill and catch up. He woke Scarlett up when he got there so he had to put her back to bed and she wasn’t amused so I ended up giving her a small bottle, as well as teething gel after he had changed her nappy. Once she was asleep we got into bed.

Friday 21st:

Brett turned 25!!!! I got up with Scarlett for nursery. Dressed her then woke Brett up so he could say goodbye as we weren’t going to see her till Saturday once she left. They had cuddles then my Nan picked her up. I climbed back in to bed for a bit. We got up later than we should’ve and he wanted to shower and shit before we left so that took longer. We ended up leaving at 2ish. Train was due at 2:45. Didn’t leave until gone 3pm. We made a “friend” on the platform. An older lady was sat next to us on the bench and she started talking to us. Harmless enough. However it became very clear she was drunk. She was 63 (she said), still very sexually active (she also said) and had a boyfriend in Southampton (where she was headed apparently). We hopped on the train and settled in the “quiet carriage” and she had gotten on a different carriage. 3 minutes later she wanders past with all her stuff and plonks down next to us (well next to me). Fun times. She dropped all her stuff (in that drunk clumsy way people do). So we scrambled around helping her pick it up. She asked our names as she was texting someone about her trip (and meeting us two) and 3 times Brett told her what his name was and 3 times she called him Brian! It was a very painful experience. Thankfully she departed the train at Winchester (after asking us 5 times where she was going?) and we had a quiet remainder to our journey.

We finally got to Portsmouth at 4:25pm. We headed to our hotel for check in. Checked in. Threw our stuff on the bed and went straight back out for dinner. By the time we arrived at Gunwharf Quays it was almost 5. We walked along the food promenade and settled on Pizza Express. Whilst we ate I booked our cinema tickets for 7:15. We finished eating and went for a drink as we had plenty of time. We watched Fast & Furious 8. It’s not my kind of film as such but I have seen most of them so I did enjoy it. After we left the cinema it was about 10ish so we got a train back to the hotel. We wanted some nibbles so we hunted for a convenience store. No success. Brett ended up asking a local and he directed us to the nearest Tesco lol

We didn’t get to sleep until 2am (maybe later). We got caught up in the typical dirty weekend things – food, trashy TV and sex (Obvs). Overall we’d had a good day and night. Brett said his birthday had been great day!!!

Saturday 22nd:

We got up at 9:30 and went down to the restaurant for breakfast. We came back up for showers and packing then at midday we checked out and headed back to Gunwharf. Brett had birthday money to spend and I just wanted to wander. Also we had to do the Spinnaker Tower as Brett had never done it. So we did that first then we had lunch in the cafe below it.


We headed to the shops. Brett had his eyes on some Ralph Lauren so that’s where we headed. I got Scarlett some adorable floral shoes for our trip to Italy in August. We paid for our stuff and then he went to a different store for his dad’s birthday present and then we headed back to the train station to head home.

We got off the train at 4:30 and my nan picked us up. Scarlett acted super excited when she first saw us but then acted all indifferent when we tried to hug her haha sassy pants!

We had a cuppa tea then went home. Brett did bath time whilst we picked up dinner. We had a nice take away from the chippy. He and I then put Scarlett to bed and then watched the Conor McGregor DVD I bought him for his birthday. That was about 3/4 hours then we settled down for bed.

Today (Sunday 23rd):

St. George’s day today. Scarlett’s second one. She gave me a lay in. She woke up at 8 ish but I didn’t hear her till almost 8:30 as she was just talking to herself in her cot! I have her a bottle then we played. Then she had breakfast (and tipped some fruit all over the floor) then I dressed her. I woke Brett up at 10:30 and then at 11 I put Scarlett down for a nap. She slept for ages and I watched some catch-up NCIS. Obsessed with the show. No idea why! Once she was up, we got ready and went to my nan’s for Sunday dinner. Scarlett had her dress on for all over 5 minutes before tipping most of her dinner down herself, mostly gravy.



We had a good afternoon. She walked around the garden, a lot. Mom, her boyfriend, Brett and I nipped to the shops for some food shopping then we swung back to pick Scarlett up before heading home. Brett went home at 5 and I fed Scarlett some tea before taking her up for a bath. She was so tired. She just kept laying her head on my shoulder. At 6:30. She never goes to bed much before 7 usually. But nonetheless I did her bottle and put her to bed. She was out like a light.

I went up and had a shower at 9 and then just chilled etc. I watched some tele and came up to bed at midnight but it’s 1:30am and I’m still awake because it’s hit me that I don’t want to go to work tomorrow and I’ve been to the loo 4 times with stress related bowel issues. I hate that I cannot control my life. I’ve been actively looking for a new job for months and have had no luck. My friend has been looking for maybe a month or so and she managed to land one quickly and has handed her notice in already. I feel sick at the thought of going to work. My mental health is affected so much. To the point where I saw my doctor last week and got referred on to discuss my problems. Anxiety she reckons but I think it’s more than that.

I just had a row with my mom. We were just having a laugh and then I was talking about work and that I hate that I cannot just quit now and she was going on about “don’t forget that I cannot afford to have you here if you’re not working” and it just angered me because as if I don’t know this. She’s been giving me that same line since I was 18. I’m well-a-fucking-ware that she depends on my income. Which adds to my stress because not only do I have a child who relies on me but also my mother. So then she started to say “oh it’s my fault you’re stressed”. I cut her off and told her to leave my room. She carried on so I screeched at her to get out. I think she called me a cunt as she stormed out and slammed her bedroom door. Yeah I’m a cunt because I’m very clearly fucking struggling with life ATM and she knows this because I’ve told her this. She knows about my doctors appointments and stuff.

But whatever. I’m not apologising for telling her to leave my room.

Morning looms closer!

TTFN x

Oops

So I totally forgot to blog for a while! Here’s what has been happening.

Thursday 13th:

Had work and then at 5pm I was free for 10 days!!!

Friday 14th (Easter Friday):

Bank holidays rule! Scarlett had me up at usual time. Sorted her then we played. She had a nap then once she was up we got on the train to Brett’s house. Scarlett went to bed at 9ish I think.

Saturday 15th:

We didn’t get up to much. Weather wasn’t overly great so stayed in. We got ready for the party (Brett’s friend’s 21st) and off we went. I had a fairly decent night. Finally met some of his peeps. Hopefully didn’t show myself up, even though I puked a few times before getting the uber home lol

Sunday 16th (Easter Sunday):

I was hanging out my asshole when I woke up with Scarlett at 8am. She wanted to run about and I just wanted to die BUT I did get up. I gave her a bottle. Dragged her to the toilet so I could puke a bit more. She gave me this judgmental stare. 15 months old and that sort of attitude! #MyKidRules

At 10am Brett’s mom said did I want her to take Scarlett with her to visit some family for a few hours? Yes please lol so off they went. I climbed back into bed. After 2 hours I felt right as rain. Was starving and dinner wasn’t due til 3ish so I had a bit of toast and some more water. I felt much better. Dinner was lovely. Brett had surfaced at that point. Lazy fucker. Next time he says a word about being up early with Scarlett I’ll remind him of the time I got up with a hangover to deal with her, when he was very incapable of doing so!


Monday 17th (Easter Monday):

We got up today and I packed our stuff. Brett said he was going to the tattooist in Epsom to book in his ink. So we tagged along. We had some lunch then we came home. Chilled for a bit then we jumped on a train home. Think we got back at about 6ish. I bathed Scarlett and put her to bed.


Tuesday 18th:

Scarlett had Nursery and I had a lay in. Technically I didn’t. I still got up with her at 7ish but after I’d fed her, dressed her and shipped her off to Nursery, I climbed back in bed lol my nan picked her up at 12:30 like normal. I went round to pick her up a bit later. I had a doctors appointment at 3:50pm. We ended up having dinner with my nan then we came home. She went to bed at 7:30 like normal but at midnight, just as I was settling for bed, she woke up and was up for the next 2 hours. I think I didn’t get to sleep until 3am.

Wednesday 19th:

Woke up to a lovely swollen hayfever eye. Not surprising I was tired though, after being up till 3am. Sent her off to Nursery as I had stuff to do. Had to tidy my room and hoover the upstairs. Plus do some washing. Clean the dishes. Just random crap really.

Today (20th):

Today I was due to meet my bestie in London for a playdate but she couldn’t make it due to a fire at Euston station and some other incident going on. Shame but it what it is! So me and Scarlett stayed home all morning so she could nap after playing with me. After she woke up we grabbed our coats and walked to my nan’s house. We had lunch and played a bit then she had a short nap. We stayed for dinner then we walked home.


I put her to bed at 7:30. She was tired but spent about 20 minutes rolling around her cot talking to herself. I love listening to her.

I watched Emmerdale then I packed Scarlett’s stuff for her overnight stay at my nan’s tomorrow. Brett’s birthday is tomorrow. He is going to be 25. I’m taking him away for the night. It’ll be good fun. My nan is babysitting :)

Just watching Chicago Justice catch up and waiting for Brett to arrive.

TTFN x

Sunday blues

Friday 7th:

Brett came down tonight. He got to mine at midnight-ish. We were fine but he got the hump when I mentioned my plans to take Scarlett to Italy. He was really upset I had “considered” him. He said that if we are suppose to be a family then why wouldn’t I want him to go. I tried to explain to him that we aren’t the traditional type family. We don’t live together. We don’t even parent her equally. I do 85%, he does a small part when he IS here. So yeah he didn’t take it great. It wasn’t even that I didn’t want him to come. It was more “I just wanted to take her on a trip I had planned long before I had fell pregnant and had sacrificed it for her”.

Saturday 8th:

He still wasn’t happy when he got up and I thought he was going to go home. But we worked it out. We let Scarlett nap then we took her into town. He walked around with her. occasionally she would hold his hand. Cute! We had lunch then we went back home. She had dinner and then he did bath time and put her to bed then we watched a film. We watched Nerve.

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Sunday 9th:

We went to bed quite late Saturday as we watched another film in bed and then went to bed. Getting up was rough but I put Scarlett back down for a nap after bottle and breakfast so that was good. Again we went into town. We had lunch and then did some shopping before heading home. We put Scarlett down for an afternoon nap and watched the finale episode of 13 Reasons Why. That show has changed me. It was so intense and eye opening. I mean, I am fully aware of how bullying goes in school having been on the receiving end, in the same kind of ways that Hannah was. Which just reinforced the fact that it could have easily been me who did what she did. Scary thought! I just hope I can raise Scarlett to feel like she can always talk to me and Brett [no matter what], and if not us then another family member if she is having a hard time. I would not wish her to suffer in silence.

Brett went home at about 8ish. He did bath time before he went. She loves when he baths her. I put her down after he went and then mom and I watched Vera.

Work tomorrow but it is only a 4 day week as it is Easter, so Friday is Good Friday. I am off next week so I effectively have 10 days off. Yes!

TTFN x