Confessions of a First Time Mum

When you announce you are pregnant every person you know, who has had a child [or a few] pops up to congratulate you. They also start to regale you of all their “wisdom” as seasoned parents. Now don’t get me wrong, sometimes people do have anecdotes of advice that is quite helpful. But mostly they just go for the shock horror factor. One thing they fail to tell you is that ALL BABIES ARE DIFFERENT. What works for one baby may not work for another. One baby may sleep great but not feed brilliantly. Or vice versa. My experience of being a first time mother to a small baby has been interesting. And quite surprising.

I was forewarned by many “seasoned” parents that in the first few months I’d be exhausted. The baby wouldn’t sleep great. I’d struggle to find time to wee let alone shower. I’d forget to eat. And so on the list goes.

Personally, in my own experience, I never had a cold cup of tea. I never not showered for 3 days. I only felt exhausted in the first few days home. And most of that was due to the fact that I had been in hospital since Saturday, awake since Sunday at 7am and had laboured 36 hours before having an emergency c-section. Which then kept me awake on/off the night before I came home, due to the pain/blood/meds etc. By the time we’d been home 3 days I felt more myself and I slept fine.

This is not me saying “everyone listen, it isn’t that bad”. Not at all. I know women who really did not have the time to do those things because they had a baby that needed holding 24/7 or it would scream blue murder. But for me, I had spent months listening to my friends saying “oh it’ll be so tough, you’ll be so tired, and need to shower and the baby will be crying and you’ll just want to lie down.” And for me, personally, I expected that. Yet it wasn’t like that.

I feel blessed because my daughter would sleep in 4 hourly stints which enabled me to sleep 4 hours too. She would feed, poop and then sleep. Over the first few weeks she’d be awake slightly more each day. But even then, she was very happy as a baby. She was fine to be laid in her Moses Basket whilst I went to the toilet. Or I would leave her in her pram. Or in her bouncy chair outside the bathroom whilst I showered [personally I didn’t need to if she was asleep as I’d hear her awake but I was a single parent so she came with me]. By the time she was 6 weeks old she was sleeping 9pm till 6am. And that continued until she started nursery and she then started going to bed at 7pm, and still does now. She goes down [no fuss] at 7pm and wakes up at 7am. I mean, yes, I would categorise her as a “good baby”. She eats brilliantly, she sleeps brilliantly and she is as bright as a button. Also very happy but so cheeky.

My point of the post is that all babies are different, as are all adults . We require different amounts of sleep to function. I function on 5-6 hours. I often don’t go to bed until about 12-1am, get up at 7am for work. Whereas my fiancé needs a solid 10 or he’s miserable and a twat to be around.

Adults also require different “things” to keep them sane, like a monthly/fortnightly date night. A weekly meal with their “girls”, no kids. An evening hour to read a magazine, gossip on the phone or just have a luxurious bath with no kids asking for things.

I fully appreciate that some people have babies that scream all day. Don’t sleep. Won’t eat. Are just genuinely hard work. I know this because my brother was on of them kids. I don’t know how my mother didn’t throttle him lol with a baby like that, it is easy to understand a parent not getting any sleep, not showering as often as they did before and all the chores being left aside because of the baby taking up so much time. And all I have to say to those mothers is get support. You need a break. And you don’t need to feel guilty for dumping the baby on your husband when he arrives from work and hiding in the bedroom or wherever you wanna go. You need to. Don’t worry about the laundry or the dishes. You need to look after you. Because if you burn out, you won’t be any good to your baby.

Another thing we do as parents [that we really shouldn’t] is comparing our baby to everyone else’s. My daughter crawled at 6.5 months and stood up at the furniture a week later. Yet she didn’t actually walk properly until she was 14 months. Everyone thought she’d be walking by Christmas [she’d have been 11 months] but she didn’t. Whereas some of my friend’s babies weren’t crawling until 8/9 months but they went straight into walking by a year. So it really just depends on your baby. I know from nursery that my daughter is on par with everything developmentally for her age range. They update me on a weekly basis [using the Tapestry app] on her new skills and what she gets up to. She was painting last week, with her whole body! lol

I just want every mother out there know that we all got you. You’re having a hard day, feel like you’re failing, you are not! If your kid is fed, watered, clean [give or take their natural ability to get dirty within seconds] and are happy and healthy then you’re doing a job well done. We all have days where we feel like shit, the kid is being an asshole [yes, kids can be assholes] and you just want to finish doing the laundry, wash up the 1 million dirty dishes [who uses that many cups, they just appear] and pee in peace. Chin up. One day you’ll look back and realise you survived. And you’ll have some well-rounded happy kids to show for it.



31 weeks in Liverpool

Well we made it. To Liverpool. I won’t lie, the trip was exhausting and worked for TFL are such knobs. Like, the website says if you need help then ask, I ask and all I get is “I can’t leave my post”. Okay thanks you dick. I’ll just struggle with a suitcase, stroller and a 7 month old down an escalator because, even though it is illegal, there is NO ACCESSIBILITY for disabled people (like a lift) in the damn station. And I have no choice but to use the tube to get to Euston for the Virgin Train to Liverpool.

Anyway we got the train from Waterloo. It was packed. Very packed for 11:30am. If we had been travelling really early, during peak times, I would expect it to be busy but not at that time. I didn’t have a seat. We got on the tube to Euston. What I had to do was put Scarlett in the baby carrier on the chest, collapse the stroller down then wheel both the stroller and our suitcase on to the tube. At Euston there was NO accessibility whatsoever (whereas Waterloo has lifts down to the level above the tube, and only 1 small flight of steps down to the tube – doable). So I stuck the stroller in front of me and dragged the suitcase behind me when I hopped on the escalator to take us up to the main station for our connecting train to Liverpool. It turns out the Virgin fast trains make me sick. I get motion sickness, always have, but it usually only occurs in cars if I get hot. The train swayed, a lot. So I felt sick for the entire 2 hours and 10 minute journey. I am SO thankful that Scarlett is a brilliant baby or I would not have coped.

We arrived at Liverpool Lime Street station at 15:21 as planned. We got on the merseyrail (tube) to Central then another to Moorfields. I bumped in to Steph (from my pregnancy group) when I got off at Moorfields. She was getting out the tube lift as we were getting on. We walked round the station and the Premier Inn was right there. I could not have picked a better hotel. I love Premier Inns. We checked in, got up to our room and settled in.

My friend Tasha, from my pregnancy group, was next door (how weird we were placed next to each other) so I took Scarlett in to say Hi. Her and Kira were beating each other up lol we decided we would feed the two girls, let them nap if need be then we’d set off to find somewhere to eat.

We eventually settled on a Wetherspoons but we weren’t sure where it was situated so after we left the hotel and got to the end of the road we stopped to look on our phone maps. A guy was stood outside the pub next to us and he struck up a conversation. He was “awwwing” over the girls (like obvs, they are cute AF) then he asked us where we were going etc. In the end he offered to show us the nearest Wetherspoons. He proceeded to walk us to it, take us inside and get us a table. He was friendly enough but I think he only helped because he was looking to cop off. He tried Tasha first, asked for her number haha then he tried me. His name was Joe and apparently he has 5 kids!!

We had dinner and then we set off. We were still laughing about our escort. We stopped off at the Tesco’s express store next to the Premier Inn for munchies and I accidentally stole 2 redbulls and some washing up liquid. I had placed them on the top of the stroller, and forgot about them when I went through the self service check out. I didn’t even notice until we had left the shop and Tasha was like “did you pay for them?” I was like “Oh, no, keep walking” haha

Scarlett and I FaceTimed Brett before she went to bed. She gets mad excited when she hears the connecting tone before he pops up on the screen and talks to her. It is beyond cute.

I am in bed watching some tele on my iPad. Scarlett is in bed. I think Tasha and me are taking the girls to the Freij Wheel on the docks and then for some shopping.

I can’t believe we made it to Liverpool. I am so proud of us both for making the journey. I love travelling but I won’t lie, it IS harder with a baby regardless of how good the baby is.


25 today!

It’s my birthday. It’s my birthday. It’s my birthday. It’s my birthday. It’s my fucking birthday!!!!!!!

So yeah I’m 25 haha I gave Scarlett the birthday card she got me, so she could “give it” to me. Gosh she’s so adorable I could squish her!

We got up, I fed her some bottle. She plays with it lol so we got dressed and we left for the train. We literally made the train with 30 seconds to spare!

35 minutes later and we were in Waterloo station and speed walking to meet Nicola and Matilda. We met and decided to walk to one of the restaurants on the road leading to the London Eye. So we grabbed a drink in All Bar One whilst Matilda had her bottle. I had a good long hold of her and she decided to vom on my shirt lol I was like thanks for that missy. After a nappy change we made our way over to the London Eye. After faffing in the queue, and me realising I had to queue elsewhere to pick up my ticket as I had inadvertently not selected “e-ticket”, we finally got in one of the pods. The babies were absolutely brilliant. We could not fault them at all. We took lots of pictures, let them sit and stand etc before we finally departed to find some food.

We walked back to the place we were before but ended up next door in the Slug & Lettuce. The girls were napping so we ordered a drink and had a good old natter then we ordered some food. We both went for a chicken burger. It wasn’t half bad. It was chargrilled. The girls woke up when we were eating (fancy that). Scarlett had her bottle then I finished eating and got her out. We took some more pictures then at 3:45 we decided to make a move towards the station as neither of us fancied travelling in rush hour (5-7pm). We walked to the station and I walked them both to the lift down to the underground. Scarlett was asleep by then but Matilda was awake so I said goodbye then I hugged Nicola and off she went.

Our train was scheduled for 4:49pm and it was 4:20pm by then so I found the platform and got on the train as it was waiting there already. I got a seat this time as I ran and sat in the disabled carriage (more room). We got off the train the other end at 5:15pm, jumped on a bus at 5:45 and were home just after 6pm. Scarlett was knackered but she was super excited to see her nanny and uncle Jordy.

She had some of her last feed then she had a bath. We shared. Then mom got her out and dressed her whilst I washed my hair. She drank the rest of her bottle and was in bed asleep by 9pm. She’s such a good little human!!!

We had a fab day. I am so thankful to Nicola for coming with me because she’s scared of friggin heights (and for those that don’t know, the London Eye is sky high). So it must be love for her to do that lol #TrueLoveWins #BestiesFo’LifeMotherfucker ;)

I am 25. I have a beautiful daughter, a sexy man (who I wouldn’t change even when he’s being an ass) and a lovely family (mostly). What more could I want? Alcohol, that’s what I  want. So glad I’m having a party on Saturday. Love a reason to get dressed up and natter with peeps I haven’t seen in a long time. Looking forward to it. Plus I can show off both my daughter (not everyone has met her) and my boyfriend (being single for 4 years previous made me realise I missed having someone to share things with, I’m so glad I met Brett).

I’m in bed trying to watch the new Batman V Superman movie but I just can’t seem to get in to it! Oh dear!


1 week to go

Tuesday morning Scarlett woke up at 7ish. She had her bottle then she went back to sleep. I hadn’t paid for breakfast nor brought anything prepared so I just ate a few cookies I’d bought and had a cup of tea. I gave her down breakfast when she woke and she got it everywhere so I bathed her quickly then dressed her. Dressed myself then packed up and we checked out. We walked back up to the station so we could walk in to the shopping centre. It’s massive.

We met Stephanie and Sophie at the station then we waited for Gina and Sarah. Tasha wasn’t due to arrive till 1pm so once Sarah arrived we walked back to the shopping centre to find a café. Originally we’d said John Lewis but none of us knew where it was so we ended up sitting in the open plan part of a place called Muffin Break.

Gina is Laila’s mom and Laila really took to me, and Scarlett. We sat both the babies on the table together and Laila kept grabbing Scarlett’s top and Scarlett kept looking at her like “wtf are you doing?” Haha

Stephanie is Erin’s mom. Erin and Scarlett are birthday buddies but you wouldn’t believe it. Erin is huge. Scarlett was actually born first lol

Sophie is Henry’s mom. He was the only boy until Rachel arrived with Theo. He was born the day after Valentine’s Day. So he’s younger than Scarlett, Erin, Kira, Isla and Aislinn-Rose

Sarah is Isla’s mom. Isla is 2 days older than Erin and Scarlett. I got a smile off her which is an achievement because her nickname by her mom is angry little elf lol love her though.

Tasha is Kira’s mom and they arrived when I was in muffin break getting something to eat and drink. Kira was originally scheduled to arrive January 25th by planned c-section but had to come 3 days early on January 22nd. She’s a proper cheeky girl. I was talking to her and she was grinning at me.

Roisin is Aislinn-Rose’s mom. She is younger than Erin, Scarlett, Kira and Isla. But is older than Henry and Theo.

Eventually Rachel turned up with Theo. They had had baby sensory so that’s why they were later than everyone else. Theo was born late February so he was the youngest baby but he is a big boy. Very smiley too.

We stayed where we were until about 3pm then we wandered downstairs to the Disney store. I spent £90 on stuff for Scarlett for Christmas. Probably unnecessary but fuck it, it’s her first Christmas. Stephanie and Sophie left to catch their train. I thought they said all of the girls were going so I was a bit annoyed so I paid and stomped out the shop. Tasha called me and I whipped round realising Sarah, Rachel and Tasha were still there. I must’ve looked like a mad woman marching out swinging my pink princess bag. We walked to the station to catch our trains. Tasha and I were on the same platform but going in opposite directions. She missed her train by seconds so she left for another one on a different platform.

Our journey home wasn’t bad but national rail lied about there being a lift down at Euston to the tube. There was an escalator. A TFL lady helped me. Then at Waterloo there is about 15 steps to get from the underground to the next level where the lift is. Two very friendly London commuters helped me with the pram. Very grateful for nice people.

The last leg of our journey was a direct train from Waterloo. About 20 minutes from home our train stopped due to some fault on the track. The carriage we were in had just 2 people in and lots of floor space so I let Scarlett crawl around the floor for a bit. We got off the train finally. And then we were home!!!

We had a brilliant trip even if it was long as assholes and I had a banging headache when we got back. Nothing a little paracemtol and a good nights sleep couldn’t fix.

Wednesday I put Scarlett in her cot sat up playing whilst I did some stuff and caught her stood up. Even though we moved the mattress down 1 setting after we caught her stood up last time. She’s a nightmare.

Thursday (today) we sorted out the downstairs. We cleared out the fireplace (we don’t use it so it was filled with junk) and mom screwed the fire guard on to the wall incase Scarlett uses it to stand up and it topples on top of her. Now it’s secure it won’t move if she does try. And she probably will because she’s a monkey!

She got caught going in Nana’s fireplace. All of her grandchildren have touched it at one point, just out of curiosity. My child decided to grab the metal bar at the front and lick it. Yum lol

My birthday is in a week. I’m going to do my annoying daily countdown on here like I normally do. So today is “1 week to go”. Brett isn’t coming down until next Friday so he technically misses my birthday but he’s still here for the weekend, and be party. Which is fine. I want to spend my birthday going up the London eye with Scarlett so I’ll just take her on my own now. I don’t mind.

We are visiting a nursery tomorrow and going in to my work for our monthly visit.


Jabs & Trains

Omg she had her jabs on Monday. She screamed like she’s never done before. Broke my heart but she has to have them done. She had 2 in her right leg and 1 in her left. They also gave her a syringe in her mouth of something and she didn’t think it tasted nice. She pulled the funniest of faces. I gave her some Calpol as soon as we got back to my nan’s house, to ward off a fever. She slept after her jabs and all the way through our trip to the cemetery to lay some flowers and replant Jay’s pot on his grave. It wasn’t raining for a change. He must’ve known we were bringing the baby and decided to keep it dry for her.

She woke up when we got home and she was so unhappy. She made cries like she was in pain, her face went red and she was all hot and sweaty. I gave her more Calpol and I was naughty, I also gave her an ibuprofen solution for babies as you can give that alongside paracetamol (Calpol). She struggled to settle and didn’t want to eat. Eventually she did eat, did a massive watery poo (nurse said her poo would be loose after the oral solution she had) then she calmed down and went to sleep. She slept till 3am. I fed her, cuddled her and she calmed down to sleep again. I felt so sorry for her because she didn’t understand why, she just felt crappy.

Tuesday she was a bit shitty all day but she fed much better and by the evening she was much better. My friend from work popped by to say Hi and have a cuddle. After she left I bathed with Scarlett and we got into bed with a bottle. After that she went to sleep and that was her down for the night. I couldn’t sleep so I didn’t get to sleep till 1:30am-ish.

She woke up today at 7am. I fed her then I left her to go back to sleep. I laid in bed till 8 then I got myself something to eat. I put some makeup on and then I finally woke her up to dress her. She wasn’t impressed at first but she finally smiled haha I put her in the pram then I gathered our bags up, boiled the kettle and poured the hot water into a thermos as well as two bottles to go into bottle warmer bags. Then at 9:30 we headed off.

We got on the train to London Waterloo at 10:30. We got on the tube to Stratford and was there by 12 noon. I popped into primark and found some 9-12m tops for her and some socks (for her age now). Scarlett was hungry so I walked to John Lewis as that’s where we were meeting. I fed her there and one of the girls I was meeting was already there. I met with Chloe (and her son Miles), Nicola (and her daughter Matilda), Laurane (and her son Noah), Maria (and her son Naeem) and Hanna (and her daughter Tulip). We chatted for a while then we made our way towards to the food court. We settled for TGI Fridays. Naeem and Scarlett are birthday buddies. They were actually born on the same day. Miles is the next one, he was born February 1st, then Noah was born February 8th. Matilda was born on February 11th and finally Tulip was born on February 19th. It was fab meeting the ladies. I can’t believe how big and chunky all their babies were compared to Scarlett. She seemed so dainty compared to them. I held Matilda and Naeem. We ate and chatted then we finally said our goodbyes. Nicola, Chloe and Laurane were all getting the train same as me so all 4 of us headed together. I held Miles on the tube for a minute. He’s a chunk but he’s so squishy you just want to eat him.

After the tube Scarlett and I got the Waterloo. She was asleep so I figured I’d feed her on the train from London if she woke up. She did so I fed her half her bottle. She only drank half.

We got off the train at 7:45 and mom picked us up. Scarlett had bellyache but some gripe water and the rest of her bottle heated up seemed to push her wind through as she did a massive poop. I changed her, got her ready for bed and she’s been flat out since 11ish.

We are popping into my work tomorrow to have lunch with my colleagues. It’s so weird whenever I go back in the office. I feel like it’s been so long since I last went in but in reality it’s only been like a month or something lol

I’m knackered. I should get some sleep.



“Night night baby”

Well I have the troublesome twosome for the weekend. I originally had a date planned in London but I can’t afford it so I cancelled. Well I said to take a rain check and we’ll figure out another date for it. So they were dropped off quite late because my aunt got stuck in traffic. Frank had crapped through his nappy and his trousers (which were white) so I had to sort that out. It was everywhere! We didn’t have dinner till 8 o clock. They’re usually in bed by 7 so that was a bit crazy. They finally were bathed and in bed asleep by almost 10. When we were laying in bed Fred went “night night Kayleigh, night night baby”. It was so cute and I realised that in 6 short months of nursery they’d learned so much. I went up to bed myself at about midnight.

Today Frank woke me up at 4:45am screaming. It was a “I’m in pain” kind of scream. I wasn’t sure what his problem was but from looking at him he appeared to have bellyache. So I convinced him to have some calpol and then I laid at the end of my bed (no idea why he wouldn’t lay back at the pillow end with Fred) with him, rubbing his back and eventually he nodded off. So did I. Next thing I know Fred is waking up at 7:30. We had breakfast and then I fixed them both with reigns so we could walk as the double stroller is broken and off we set to town. We waited for the bus at the stop but whilst on the bus Frank had a hissy fit because he bumped his head when he wasn’t sitting properly like I told him to and somehow he thought it was my fault it happened. Then we got to town and walked from the bus stop to the leisure centre where the soft play is. Firstly Frank wouldn’t go play because he had a packet of mini cheddars but no food is allowed on the play area so I told him to leave them on the table. He laid on the floor and screamed for 10 minutes. Eventually he stopped and he went in to play with Fred. They played for over 90 minutes and then when I asked them if they’d had enough they both picked their shoes up as if to say “yes, can we go”. So we got set and off we went. We got the bus back and stopped at our nan’s. We had lunch there and they played in the garden then they watched some TV. It became very evident that they were both rather tired because they both separately had little tantrums about all sorts of random things. At 5 we had dinner with our Nan then we went home. I got them bathed at 6:15 and finally into bed. Frank fell asleep after his bottle finished within about 30 minutes or so. Not Fred. He messed about for ages and I told him off. After 30 minutes on and off of Freddie “crying for mommy”, he finally went to asleep. He wasn’t really crying for her, I think he was just mad at me for telling him off because Frankie was already asleep therefore I didn’t want him woken up. That would be like poking a sleeping grizzly bear!! #notevenjokingaboutthat

After he was asleep I had a shower and I am not sat on my couch with my iPad and a well deserved drink as I was parched. Not sure what we have planned tomorrow as my nan has my uncles 5 children for the day so adding them two to the mix would be so hectic but then again it may do them all a world of good. I’ll see how I feel tomorrow.



I want a camera. For my birthday. In August. I decided this when I started looking at flying off to Italy for my birthday in 3 months. I have since reserved rooms in various hotels. One in Verona, Venice, Naples and Rome. All I need is my holiday form back, signed, to confirm I can go then next month I’ll book the flights and trains etc. Trains I could always book online using my iPad at one of the hotels as they all have free wifi. It was something I clicked as “must have” when searching for a room in each city. I know it seems silly but I want to be able to upload each day’s worth of photos otherwise I’ll be spending hours when I’m back home trying to upload it all. Also, if I want to message home etc then I can use the wifi to send facebook or whatsapp messages. I’m bound to feel a little homesick as I’ve never been abroad alone. I’m looking forward to it, providing it does happen!!!

I was late to work yesterday because I woke up with 5 minutes to leaving time to catch the bus. I had to decide what I could do in that time frame and I just about made it by getting dressed (quickly), brushing my teeth and having a wee. I didn’t even let the dog out for a wee or feed her. I made it in time for the bus. Got to town and realised I’d left my hair stuff at home a as well as my purse so I text work acting I was late and then I went back home to pick it all up. I got back to town and as the bus wasn’t coming for 35 minutes I decided to have breakfast so I ran round to McDonald’s. I finally got to work at 9, an hour late. My manager was cool about it though because I had forewarned her and kept her in the loop and that’s all she asks for. I went to the cinema after work to watch Big Game. Samuel L Jackson should’ve been a badass motherfucker but he wasn’t and it was a shame.

I went to the cinema tonight after work. I watched Spooks: The Greater Good. It was good and I thoroughly enjoyed it. I brought a slushie like usual but I spiked it with cranberry Smirnoff. After the cinema I got the bus to my Nan’s then mom took me for some dinner as I hadn’t eaten yet.

I haven’t been home long and I’m currently laid on my bed deciding whether or not to go to sleep as its 11 and I’m shattered.

Mom and I are off to the cinema tomorrow to watch The Age of Adaline then the twins are being dropped off as my aunt has things she needs to do around the house and asked if I’d have them. I don’t mind I suppose as they’re older so they can do things for themselves. I remember when they were babies and I had to tandem feed. One bottle per hand in each babies mouth. God that seems so long ago yet it was only 2 years. Where has time gone?