A party, a cupcake and some Netflix

Wednesday was my neighbours birthday. She works in the office above mine. She came in with a cupcake. I saved mine for Scarlett. She demolished it in the car on the journey home. She did day 13 of her book advent. She got the book “We are going on a bear hunt”.

Thursday I watched the Riverdale season finale during lunch. No idea when season 3 is coming. Can’t believe season 2 is done already. Feels so quick! Scarlett did her book advent for Day 14. She got the book “All Aboard”.

Friday was long at work. It had been a long week. It was Christmas jumper day at the Nursery so I sent Scarlett in with her new reindeer jumper. We were going to a party in the evening so when we got home I tried to get her to nap. She wasn’t keen lol I bathed her and got her dressed at 6. I sent her downstairs so I could straighten my hair and do my make up. I was ready to go. We took a few pics before we left.

Party was good. Scarlett made an automatic beeline for the buffet table. I mean, of course she did, it’s food. She ran around lots. Made a little friend and danced a lot. I danced with her. Towards the evening she was getting tired. I picked her up and she laid in my arms like she was a baby. I swayed with her and she just laid there looking at me. She didn’t try to move or get put down. It was lovely tbh. We left at 10:30 and she got straight into pyjamas at home and into bed. I think I was asleep by 11. I felt shattered. It’s hard work to work all day then go out. Even though we weren’t “that late”, it’s still long!

It was the twins birthday. They were 5 today!!!

Saturday I wasn’t woken up till almost 9. What a fab lay in. Scarlett had her morning milk then we watched some tv. We read her new books. She curled up because she was still tired. My mom got breakfast at 10:30. We ate then I put Scarlett down for a nap. Whilst she slept I ignored my feelings of wanting to nap and I hoovered the front room. In preparation for the Christmas tree being put up. I then finished wrapping presents.

Scarlett woke up when my mom got back from town. They retrieved the tree from the loft. It was up and Scarlett “helped” us decorate it. I added her personalised bits from last year and this year too.

I need to get my haircut so at 3ish my mom took Scarlett to my nan’s for a bit. My nan was out all day visiting my uncle so she’d asked us to let the dog out. I got the bus to town. I picked up my special people Christmas cards and some tidbits to wrap. Then I went to the salon. They were closing in 40m and said they didn’t have time to do what I wanted so I’ll have to go back tomorrow!

I got home at 5ish. I cooked me and Scarlett some dinner then at 6 I took her up for a bath. Also to let the others eat their dinner in peace. She opened her book advent for Days 15 and 16. Day 15 was Cinderella. Day 16 was Some Dogs Do. She had her bottle then went to bed at 7. She was flat out asleep within 15 minutes.

I did some more wrapping whilst my mom dropped my brother at work then we sat down and watched a 4 part series called Bancroft. It was very good. Kept you guessing till the end. Although we did figure out some of it.

I’ve just climbed into bed. I need to go to sleep as Scarlett will wake about 7-7:30 tomorrow.

TTFN x

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Fuck it’s cold!

Monday I woke up exhausted. I felt like I had not slept whatsoever. I had a really odd dream which I can’t even recall now. Work was ok. Manager is back from her holiday so I feel safe now she’s back. When she’s away I feel like I have no buffer between the people who expect my team (aka me) to do things I shouldn’t be doing, and myself. I sometimes get backed into a corner to do things and I don’t like that. So yay for her arrival!

He rung me again. Left a few voicemails. I listened this time. One was about 5 minutes long. He seems to have calmed down a little. He reckons he accepts my decision but I’m doubtful.

Scarlett did her Book Advent for Day 11. Her book was On A Pirate Ship.

Watched criminal minds followed by Blindspot then I got into bed at 11.

Tuesday I felt better as I had slept okay. However I had a random arse dream about Scarlett’s sperm donor. I dreamt me and Scarlett were on on holiday staying in some motel in America. He turned up. I was like wtf you doing here? He said he wanted to see her. I was like but why now? Why here? We’re on holiday, how did you find us? Was so weird!

I got caught short at work today. I have the coil fitted (as previously mentioned in my post about how traumatised getting it fitted I was lol) and I totally skipped a period. Which I figured was them stopping as it’s common with the coil for them to stop. And I was at month 6 so yeah, I assumed. Never assume! I had nothing. I repeat, nothing in my handbag. So I had to trek in the -2 temperatures, with no coat, down the road to the local shop at 10am. Luckily I got there and back in 10 minutes and didn’t slip over on any ice. Winning! At lunch my manager asked me if I wanted to come to Matalan with her. So we went. I bought myself a coat – mom said she’d buy me one for xmas so if I see one and get it she’ll give me the money. I also got Scarlett some fluffy pyjamas as her room gets so cold in the night. Her GroEgg changes colours dependent on the temperature. It’s red if it’s too hot and orange if it’s just right. Well apparently it goes blue if it’s too cold. It’s been blue every morning so far. I’m tempted to set my alarm to go in her room at 4am and put the heater on low till we get up. But I don’t know. May try her throat out.

Anyways, I got some fluffy socks for myself and Scarlett a Christmas cup. I spent like £80 in less than 20 minutes. This is why I usually stay at my desk and watch TV. Cheaper lol

Today Scarlett asked me to sit in the back of the car with her. She wanted her blanket on her legs and to hold my hand. So that’s what we did. On our way home we looked at all the Christmas lights. It’s become routine now. She loves them.

She had her dinner whilst I showered. She sat so nicely eating whilst my mom made tea and I was in the shower. She then had her bath and then we did Book Advent for Day 12. Today’s book was Little Bear’s Big Adventure. After her bottle she went up to bed.

I watched Once Upon A Time then some more Grimm. Now I’m in bed ready to sleep. So tired!

TTFN x

Not how I expected my weekend to go

Friday was a nightmare at work. My temp, who use to give me a lift, said she wasn’t coming back on Monday. One of the managers had upset her and she didn’t want to work in a place where people are rude to each other. She was furious in the afternoon. I half expected her to up and leave there and then. I think she would’ve if she’d had her car but her husband had borrowed it because his was in the garage.

We were due to go to Brett’s house. Normally I check the trains ahead of time but I left it until 3pm. When I looked it said there were delays my end of the tracks until 5-6pm and his end there was a lot of cancelled trains due to an issue at East Croydon. So I thought we could go at 7pm as the was a train at 7 that looked like it was the usual 1 connection, 1 hour 15 minutes route. But when I got in from work, I realised it would be far too cold, far too late and far too dark to be dragging my toddler on the train. So I told Brett that I’d decided not to come due to the reasons above. I anticipated he’d have the hump but what happened was beyond anything I expected. He was utterly vile to me. Basically insulted my parenting skills by trying to say that taking her to watch a 15 minutes fireworks display in a mild November is the same as a 90 minute December journey at 7pm at night on a Friday after being at Nursery all day. And said I must be such a good mom for taking her to see fireworks (in the dark and cold) but not taking her on a train. Also said I traumatised her by taking her to see Santa. Oh and brought up the one time recently when she was walking underneath me when I was carrying something. I didn’t see her, I turned and my knee knocked her over and she hit her head on the doorframe. Like it was an accident. They happen from time to time. I didn’t mean to hurt her and I felt awful when she was upset. I picked her up and gave her a cuddle. That’s what moms do. I frequently pick her up and cuddle her.

Anyway, he was just horrible to me and I realised that I just don’t need or want him in my life (or Scarlett’s) anymore. So I blocked him for some peace then later I messaged him to say I can’t be with him anymore. I don’t love him in the same way as I used to. I’m not coming for Christmas. And please don’t harass me to get me back or try emotional blackmail like you usually do. I then blocked him again. I was up till almost 3am chatting to my bestie. She had a lot of support and advice to give on leaving a shitty relationship.

Saturday he tried to call me at some point in the morning as I had a voicemail. I only listened to a few seconds before deleting it.

Scarlett got up at 9. She had her bottle and we read some of her new books. She asked for breakfast. I asked her what she wanted, cereal or toast? She said toast. I said tea too? She said yeah! She’s so funny. So she had tea, toast and banana. I waited to eat with my mom as she was going to cook breakfast. We ate at 10:30. Scarlett had some sausage then I put her up for a nap at 11:15. I went up and got in bed because I was so cold and I had a headache. I fell asleep and woke up at 1:30. Then Scarlett woke. I dressed her then I finished putting addresses on the presents I needed to send.

Mom drove me to the post office so I could mail everything. I mailed all my gifts except my Australian secret santa. It was going to cost me £88 to send a £30 gift lol so I decided to try a different postal service. We went into town so I could get a refund on the PS4 Pro I bought Brett for Christmas. So I’m now £300 richer. Which is great because I have Scarlett’s 2nd cake smash to pay for in January as well as her birthday party.

After Argos we went to my nan’s. She had a full house. Everyone was there. We stayed for a few cups of tea. Scarlett had lunch when we first got there. We left at 5. I ordered a Chinese whilst we were watching Madagascar. It took over an hour to come. Scarlett was proper hangry. We ate then I took her up for a bath. I ended up bathing with her. We got our and got dressed. I did her bottle then she said goodnight to everyone as my mom was going to work and so was my brother. I took her up at 9:15 for bed. She was flat out within 15 minutes.

I was watching Grimm on Netflix when the bloody door knocked. I knew who it was. No way was I answering. I have nothing to say to him. I thought I’d made myself pretty clear in my message the night before. I ignored the door. But he knocked twice more. The light in our kitchen was on so I knew he’d see me if I darted upstairs to look out the window. I stood in the doorway and he must’ve sense it because I heard him say something about “come on just answer the door”. I ran upstairs to tell my brother girlfriend not to open the door. Not that she would have. It’s late.

I came back down and he spoke to me through the letterbox. Said he wanted to talk so could I at least open the door. I said no. It won’t change anything. I’m done. I can’t do this anymore. He said he wants to try and he’s listening. I said why listen now. You’ve had almost 2 years. We’re not the same as we were. It’s finished. He got a bit angry and slammed the letterbox. I thought he was gone so sat down but he came back and called my name. So I said what? He said so this is it? You want me to go? I said Yes that’s what I’ve been saying. He said he was sorry it got to this point and sorry we couldn’t work it out. He said he hopes I have a good Christmas and I look after Scarlett then he slammed the letterbox and went. Me and my brother’s girlfriend sat in the front room for a while, expecting him to knock again. But he didn’t. We chatted a bit and then I carried on watching Grimm.

I’m in bed now. Going to have a lazy day tomorrow. I just want to relax and have a laugh with my baby girl. She’s all that matters to me.

TTFN x

Book advent is going well

Tuesday the traffic on the way to work was bad. We got caught in it. My lift to work thought it was appropriate to use a mobile in the car to make a call – it’s not, it’s illegal and quite unsafe.

Had a really productive work day. I’ve run out of antihistamines though so I had to spend all day with itchy eyes (I get yearlong hayfever).

My Grandad picked me up from work as my mom was training in Uxbridge with Work. He dropped me and Scarlett home. She was so funny but naughty. I must’ve told her off about 100 times and she just carried on doing whatever she was doing. It’s so infuriating. She went up for a bath at 6:45 then we did her Book Advent. Day 5 was Peppa Pig numbers. We read it then she had her milk then I took her up to bed. She didn’t settle for almost an hour. She was clearly too wired. But she did nod off. I had let her take her new book upstairs. It was on the side next to her cot. When. I went up later it was in the corner next her, she’d fell asleep with it.

I caught up with Blindspot from yesterday then I watched a film on Netflix called A Christmas Prince. It was really good. I went up to bed at 10:45 but my head started pounding. I was on the phone to my nan, foraging for drugs (paracetamol) and then I finally got into bed.

Wednesday was really busy at work. Started scheduling training for the AIR scheduler and did a lot of P6 work on Maximo. Scarlett was really upset when we got home. She threw herself on the floor over nothing and was doing this weird cry. I gave her the dummy and picked her up for a cuddle. She settled down then. I think she was tired. I managed to squeeze in her bath time before my dinner was cooked. She was drinking her milk when I started eating. I explained that she’d already had her dinner and was drinking her milk now so I couldn’t share. She lasted until I had 2 small bits of chicken left then she stole one and ran off. She’s so cheeky!

We did her book advent for day 6. She got Peppa Pig Alphabet. She’s doing well, she’s got some good books so far (as if I don’t know, I wrapped them lol)

She went to bed at 7ish. Mom and I watched Emmerdale then I went up and got in the bath. I haven’t had a bath in ages. I usually shower, quickly. Was very luxurious and definitely what I needed. After the bath I watched Inhumans then at 10:30 I got into bed. Eyes are itchy again even tho I took an antihistamine last night and again tonight. Bloody hayfever!! I have a stuffy nose too. Drives me loopy!!!

Today my grandad dropped me at work. I had the busiest day which is great because it made my day go by quicker. After work Scarlett was super talkative. She had her dinner then we did Day 7 (which was Peppa Pig Shapes), bath time and then bed.

My brother’s girlfriend cooked me and her dinner as everyone else is either at work, out or in bed lol

I need to pack for Brett’s tomorrow. And remember to bring his advent calendar with us. I packed whilst watching a film I recorded called D-Tox. It was really good. I think Brett may like it. All packed now so bed time!

TTFN x

The Doctor copped a feel

Friday Brett didn’t arrive until almost 1am. Because I had fell asleep when I came home sick from work, I wasn’t tired yet so we watched some tele then went to bed about 3am.

Saturday Scarlett woke up at about 8am. Not too bad considering she went to bed at 9:30. She had her bottle in bed with us. She spoke to Brett but he was half asleep. I took her downstairs. She opened her advent for Days 1 and 2. As well as her first and second days of Book Advent. Her book was Fox’s Socks. Day 2 book was Princess Mirror-Belle and Snow White.

We had porridge for breakfast then I put her down for a nap. We were due to go out at 11. We didn’t leave until 11:30. Oops! We went to Camberley to take Scarlett to see santa. As you can see it went as well as last year!

After Santa we went and grabbed lunch at Wetherspoons. Scarlett had salmon fish cake, mash, peas and some cucumber and peppers as a side. I had a chicken burger and chips. Brett had steak and chips. Food was pretty good. Scarlett ate so much. We hadn’t taken the stroller with us so she was walking a lot but she’s still so little so we also carried her a bit too. Man she’s heavy lol

After lunch we went to Primark as my nan had asked me to get 2 gift vouchers for my cousins for Christmas. I also picked up matching Christmas headbands for me and Scarlett then we got a lift to my nans. We had a cup of tea then at 4 we headed home.

Scarlett had some fruit and a yoghurt for dinner (she ate loads at lunch) then Brett bathed her and then after a bottle and storytime she went to bed at 7. She went straight down like a good girl.

We ordered some dinner and watched Criminal Minds catch-up with my mom. My dinner took ages!! Brett’s came and he’d eaten it long before mine came. We had separate because he wanted pizza and I didn’t.

He has a bath whilst I read my book in bed. We were going to watch a film but I had bellyache so I went to sleep about 11. My grandad’s Birthday is today. He’s 68.

Sunday Scarlett woke at 8:45. That’s some epic sleep she had. She must’ve had almost 14 hours sleep! She had a bottle then she had toast (she asked for it). I had porridge and of course she had to share it when she’d finished hers lol

Scarlett opened Day 3 of Book Advent which was the book Everyone Loves Underpants.

We woke Brett up at 10. I put Scarlett down for a nap at 10:30. We climbed back into bed for cuddles and just relaxed. We woke her up at 12:30 so we could go shopping then to my Nan’s for dinner. I had to stock up on nappies and wipes. We bunged it in my mom’s boot then we went to my nan’s house. We left at 4:30. I stuck Shrek on and Scarlett actually sat with us to watch it for ages. I took her up for bath time and Brett left to get the train home at like 6ish.

She and I read a story. She had her bottle then I put her to bed.

Today she did not want to get up. I don’t blame her, I didn’t want to either! She got dressed, had her bottle whilst I made my lunch then my Nan turned up so I could leave for work. I got to work and set about playing catching up from being sick on Friday. I made an epic dent in my emails and managed to finally load AIR on to the system. I did a mini victory dance because we’ve waited too long to load AIR!!!!

I left work at 3:15 as I had my hospital appointment. We managed to get parked in the middle of the day. That’s so rare! I got seen at 4:10 so only 20 minutes late. The doctor asked me a bunch of questions and then did a check. Said it all seemed normal and sent me on my way. Weird considering my GP said she was sending me for a scan. But nonetheless I’ve been discharged from the hospital so if I have any more issues or am not happy in the new year I’ll go back to my GP.

After the hospital we went to pick Scarlett up. She does a full day at Nursery on Mondays. My mom usually picks her up at 4:30 then me at 5. My nan picked her up so we got her from her house. She was having a yoghurt when we got there. Apparently she had already “helped” Grandad to feed the dog. She loves doing that. Her and Marley are BFFs.

We went home and Scarlett had some fruit as she was “hungry” – she wasn’t she was peckish. She has dinner at Nursery lol we watched some teletubbies and she opened her Day 4 on her advent calendar, as well as her Book Advent. The book was Stories for 3 Year Olds. She went for a bath then she went to bed at 7.

Mom is off tonight so we’re watching tele and having a relaxing evening.

TTFN x

December 2017 is here

Thursday was the last day of November for 2017. Work was quite relaxed for a change. A slower pace. Did a bit more Christmas shopping online during lunch. And watched some more Glitch – pretty sure I’ve seen the finale now.

I watched Riverdale when Scarlett had gone to bed. My brother’s girlfriend comes on a Thursday so she got to ours about 7:30. She’s so cute. She made my brother an advent calendar and filled the drawers will presents for him. How adorable!

Today I got up like normal and went to work. I did some bits when I first got in. Spoke to my friend in the main office as he was in. Was stood next to him and I came over all funny. I felt dizzy and sick. I went back to my desk but I just felt so weird and off. I sat there for an hour. Every time I so much as blinked I felt like I was on a boat on choppy waters. By almost 11 I’d had enough. I messaged who I needed to, packed up my crap and went home. I was laid down in bed by 11:30. I must’ve fell asleep because next thing I know, it’s 3:15pm.

I sat up and I felt “okay”. I put some slippers on and went downstairs. I’d slept through lunch. Usually by 1pm at Work I’m eating so I was starving. So I went into the cupboards and grabbed some porridge. I really fancied it. So I ate that and then at 4 my mom came home. Then her friend turned up at 4ish too. Mom picks Scarlett up at 4:30 so I said I’d go with her as I never usually get to go as I’m at work. So we all went to get her. She was surprised to see me but she was happy sitting next to me in the car. She held my hand!!!

When we got in she played and had her usual cup of tea. Then at 6 I took her up for a bath. At 7ish mom drove us and my brother’s girlfriend to drop my brother at work then we grabbed dinner before going to my nans for a cup of tea. She had a laugh running about, singing, shouting and playing with Marley. My mom left for work just before 9 and then my nan dropped us Home at 9:30. Scarlett went straight to bed. No fuss. She’s so good!!!

I ordered some stuff from Amazon Prime NOW as I need more Soya milk for Scarlett as well as various other things. Saves me doing a big shop on a weekend. I hate shopping on a weekend, too hectic! So I’m in bed waiting for it to come. It’s due between 10pm-12midnighy. It’s 11:25 lol

Brett is on his way to ours. He got on the train at 11 so he’ll get off about 12:15.

We are taking her to see Santa tomorrow at the grotto in the Mall in Camberley. She didn’t like it last year but I’m hoping she’ll be a bit more excited this time. Doubtful but we’ll see.

TTFN x

Ps. Christmas countdown has begun.

24 sleeps till Christmas!!!!!

1 more day till advent

Monday Scarlett didn’t want to get up today. I don’t blame her. It is Monday after all!

I did some Christmas shopping today. I got 10 presents plus I paid my mom rent.

She was so funny when we got home after work. She was so happy and noisy. She had 2 cups of tea because she had 1 and then asked for more. We had our dinner and mom decided to do her some potato smiled as she’ll just want to share anyway. So she ate hers and went to my mom to help her with her dinner. I had finished mine so my plate was on my lap empty. Scarlett came over and asked me for more. I said “No baby, mamas eaten hers, it’s in my belly” so she walked back to my mom, grabbed a potato croquette off her plate then handed it to me for me to eat. I almost melted with love for her. How fucking adorable! I said to her “oh thank you baby but mama’s had enough food. Give it back to nanny” so she took it back to my mom lol

She had a bath at 6:15 then when we were getting dressed from bath time we FaceTimed Brett. She was chatting to him for ages before going to bed at 7 (after her bottle).

I watched Blindspot at 10 then went to bed.

Tuesday Scarlett was so miserable when we got home. She didn’t even want to drink her tea at first. I think she is teething at the moment. She chatted to Brett then I took her up for a bath. When we were done we went downstairs for bottle then bed. She had her bottle then asked for more. I made her a few more ounces of milk and she drank half. She set her bottle on the table, grabbed my dummy and off we went to bed. She didn’t settle easily. She spent ages laid in her cot with the photo frame that’s usually next to her bed. It’s a photo of her and Brett. She was laid next to it, rubbing it gently. It was the most adorable thing. She must miss him!

She eventually settled whilst I was eating my dinner and catching up with Glitch. Season 2 is on Netflix now!!!

Today Scarlett was okay getting up. She didn’t lay back down and moan for a change. She’s still got a snotty nose but she’s okay! She was playing still games after work. Her godmom was here for a cup of tea and a chat. Scarlett was suppose to be eating her dinner but she was messing around. My mom said “hurry up or nanny will eat it”. Scarlett pick up her spoon (full of food) and walked over to my mom to give her it. We all laughed. My mom pretended to eat. Scarlett then pretended to eat it then she actually ate it. What a fun game lol

My brother got in the shower so she didn’t have her bath until 6:45. Then my mom dressed her whilst I showered quick then I did bottle then bed. She took ages to settle. I could hear her singing to herself for like an hour. But she did drop off eventually.

I watched some more Glitch. It’s so addictive. More so because I cannot figure anything out lol just finished an episode so now I’m in bed. It’s chilly tonight. My feet are cold!!!

TTFN x