Alpro ice cream

Wednesday 21st:

My cousins baby was born at 10:01am. He weighed 8 lb 14 oz. And he is gorgeous. He has quite a bit of dark hair. So glad he arrived safely. They named him Parker Harry James.

Thursday 22nd:

Scarlett’s passport came through the mail today. I’m so excited for our holiday now. I was worried the passport people would reject it due to her picture or something but thankfully they are more lenient with under 2s. We are now checked in for our flights online. I needed all of our passport numbers to do. And I have!!!!

My mom dated a guy the year after my step-dad left her. And he cheated on her for 4 months before they split. He denied this. But we know it’s true. Anyway he and my mom always stayed in contact as friends. He was told by his new missus he can’t be friends with my mom. Insecure much? This breeds from being “the other woman” to a guy who cheated WITH YOU. And many times she removed my moms number from this guys phone. Talk about controlling. But whatevs! This woman he cheated with became his partner from the moment they met all the way up till now. Well this woman’s daughter called my mom up and accused my mom off sleeping with him. As my mom pointed out, 1) she’s in a very happy relationship, 2) he cheated on her so why the F would she want his ass back and 3) how the F would any of their menial “hello how are you” texts ever convey there was anything untoward going on. She said all this and basically told the girl to fuck off. She told me and I sent her ex (from 8 fucking years ago, like for real who even cares about people from that long ago) a shitty message telling him to get his fucking women under control and stop dragging my mom into his BS. I told him that he knows he’s not suppose to be friends with my mom and because he failed to do as he’s fucking told she’s now been on the receiving end of some shitty outburst.

It’s gets better. He never responded. Surprise! Not! Turns out it’s their Wedding Day on Saturday. That woman would be stupid to marry him. She knows he’s a cheater and she clearly thinks he still does so why marry him.

Friday 23rd:

For the first time in ages it was just me and my mom. No men. Oh, and Scarlett, obviously. So we put her to bed, grabbed some alcohol and watched a film. It was nice.

Her new high chair came today. I think she likes it!!

Saturday 24th:

Scarlett had her first swimming lesson at 12. We arrived at 10 to 12. I was already in my swim stuff so I just had to sort her into her swim suit. I had bought her a neoprene nappy cover and a neoprene all-in-one to stop her getting cold. She did really well. She let the instructor take her around the pool for a minute without me. She walked on a float before holding my hands and sliding into the water. She kicked. She waved her arms to move the water in a motion. We sang songs. Overall it was good. I was really proud of her. I made the rookie mistake of not checking my bag before we left. I left my bra behind. So we popped home so I could dump the wet swimming gear and grab my bra then we headed to Morrisons. We had some lunch then we did some shopping. We went home and chilled. Scarlett was tired so I put her down for a nap at 3:30 and I kind of fell asleep myself. I rarely do that. Even when she was a proper baby I didn’t nap often. She went to bed at 8:30. She’s so funny. She kept playing silly games with my hair. She likes it when it’s wet from the shower (no idea why).

We watched two movies. Bad Moms and Mother’s Day. It was nice just the two of us. I think I went to bed about 1ish.

Sunday 25th (today):

Scarlett woke up at 7ish. Gave her a bottle at 7:30 thinking she’d go back to sleep for a bit but after half hour of her rolling around she got up and whinged so we went downstairs. She had her breakfast – some fruit and a choc-au-pain then she got dressed. Mom did us some breakfast then we got dressed. We had to head to Morrisons for a cooked chicken as nan had planned for 3 of my uncle’s kids to have dinner with us so she needed more meat. We got one and then went to my Nan’s house. Scarlett was asleep when I got her out of the car so I went straight in and laid her in the stroller in the hallway. She needs her afternoon nap. She slept through Sunday dinner and woke up just after we ate so I got her out and put her in the high chair. She ate her dinner then she had pudding. My nan had managed to get some Alpro Soya ice cream. She had her first taste and she loved it. She ate the ice cream AND the cornetto too!

After we had dinner we had a cup of tea and let our dinner go down then we took her to King George V park. Her first ever trip to a park. She’s been in parks as a baby baby. But they didn’t count as she wasn’t walking etc. She loved it. She went down the slides and in the swings. She climbed EVERYTHING! We had a good time then we headed back for another cuppa then home.

I did her some supper at 6ish. She had some fruit and a slice of bread with butter. She’s like me in so many ways, it’s weird but kind of exciting. She had a bath and then for a change Nanny put her to bed. She went straight down. We stuck on a movie after having some supper ourselves. We watched The DUFF. Mom hadn’t seen it.  I love it!

I’ve just got into bed. I’m not tired. I had my first energy drink today in 8 weeks. My mom bought 2. I think she forgot I don’t drink them. Tbh neither does she now. We’ve both stopped. I quit cold turkey. She has the occasional one. I think I won’t be able I sleep tonight now!!!

Back to work tomorrow. I only have 5 days then I’m off on holiday July 3rd. I can’t wait. It should be good fun. Brett and I are taking Scarlett to Hastings for the week.

Just over 6 weeks till we go to Italy!!!!!!!



4 wake ups

Tuesday 2nd:

Today was Princess Charlotte’s 2nd birthday. It came up on my Facebook memories because I shared the announcement when she was born. I love the royals!

Wednesday 3rd:

I had the dentist today. I haven’t been since a follow up in July after my wisdom teeth extract surgery. For the first time in 2 years the dentist actually said my teeth were “fine” and didn’t require a cleaning, filling or whatever else. Pretty pleased with that because my maternity exemption ran out in January and I haven’t got money to pay for extras lol

I caught up with Pretty Little Liars. I can’t believe this season is the final one. Sad times!

Thursday 4th:

Blindspot catch up. As well as other shows. My focus is back a little. I can watch a whole episode and not feel fidgety. Progress! Brett got here at midnight. His face really annoyed me. I don’t know why. We had a row and went to bed.

Friday 5th:

We got up, Scarlett had breakfast then we headed off to the Harry Potter Tour in London. She fell asleep on the bus to the studio and we were early so Brett and I grabbed a sandwich in the studio cafe. The tour was brill but busy. They have added A LOT since I went with Reggie in 2014.

Scarlett did really well considering she wasn’t in the stroller much. We did take it with us rather than giving it to the information desk [they lock it away]. But she walked around the tour, mostly. We tried Butterbeer [Scarlett loved it] and I took home the souvenir mini tankard. We left at 4ish and headed for the bus back to the station. We got off the train at home just before 7 so my nan dropped us home. We had a good day. We got a lot of pics including the obligatory ones they do where you “ride a broom” lol we had dinner once she was in bed then we watched the Equaliser. Love a bit of Denzel.

Saturday 6th:

Today we went out at lunch to my Nan’s house. We had lunch then we got in the car to visit my aunt. It was a flying visit. My nan and Debbie had a cuppa. Scarlett played with the twins. I had a banging headache when we left so we stopped off at a shop so I could get some paracetamol and a drink. It took over an hour for it to fade away let alone go away. Eurgh! Hate those heads. We stayed at my nan’s for dinner and ended up going up the chippy. My grandparents, Brett and Scarlett had fish and chips. I had chicken curry [my version]. After dinner we went to Asda as Scarlett needed milk and then we went home. We got her in bed by 9 then we climbed into bed to watch Fantastic Beasts. Scarlett woke up really upset, coughing, tears and just overall unhappy. Brett saw to her. Took ages to settle her, she was not very happy. Managed to lay her back in bed eventually and we continued watching the film then we went to bed.

Sunday 7th:

Scarlett woke up at 8am but as she had been up in the night I gave her a bottle and put her back down. She slept until about 10ish. I just did some washing up and caught up with Riverdale. I woke Brett and asked if he was coming with us to visit my gran. He said no but he would get up and shower etc whilst we were out then meet us at my Nan’s when we were back as we were having dinner there. So I left with Scarlett at 10:30. We visited my gran and bumped into my nan’s sister who was visiting too. We left at 12ish and headed home. We detoured via my house and Brett was still asleep, as I predicted he would be. So I woke him, he jumped in the shower and I left. He came round my nan’s when he was ready. We had dinner. Scarlett played and then she had her supper then we went home. I bathed her, he dressed her so I could shower then she went to bed. We watched Harry Potter 6 then my mom got home so we chatted for a bit then we got into bed.

Monday 8th:

Scarlett had woken up once before we had gone to bed. In the night she woke a total of 4 times. Twice she was just crying, and twice she was coughing so much she woke up. Bless her. We had already agreed he would stay home with her today so he did. She didn’t wake up until 9:30, bless her. They had a good morning then they jumped in the car with my mom who picked me up from work so we could go food shopping. They picked me back up from work at 5. Brett went home at 7. Mom and I had dinner after I had bathed Scarlett. I put her to bed before we ate but it took her a while to drop off. She’s very fussy. But she’s asleep now so we are just watching Little Boy Blue.


Monday, again

Well Brett and I did get back in contact. Eventually. We agreed to meet Friday and see how we got on. I was so anxious. A lot had been said between us and I wasn’t sure it would end well but nonetheless he got the train down Friday night.


Friday morning I dropped Scarlett at nursery. Usually the nursery don’t see me unless I am off. So I had a chat with her key worker over her progress since she started there in September. She is doing well and is very sociable. Which I knew. She is the total opposite of me.

After our chat, I left the nursery and Mom and I went to Farnborough Gate Retail Park. She was due to do an hour of her NVQ with her course lady at Costa. I popped next door for breakfast then I wandered around TK Maxx. I got myself a new handbag as my white one is tatty and falling apart. I also got a new purse too, and a comic relief shirt for Scarlett. My mom dropped me home and I put together Scarlett’s new Paw Patrol canvas unit. It is just the right fit for her little bedroom.

My mom went out for lunch and I stayed home. My Nan dropped Scarlett to me and I finished packing her things. My dad picked her up at 2. She was asleep when he arrived at 1 and I said I would prefer her to get an hour then he can take her, she was in bed.

I didn’t think my meet with Brett (he was coming down to my house) was going to go well so I kind of got a little drunk. I figured the rejection would be easier to deal with. Also if we didn’t work it out then by the time I sobered up the next day he wouldn’t be around. I had felt unwell all week (sore throat, ear ache and headache) so I hadn’t been eating much. All I had eaten was breakfast so by the time I had my dinner, I had drank 2 alcoholic drinks. Not my finest hour. I was semi-sloshed when he arrived. He eventually hashed it all out. Every. Little. Thing. There was crying, shouting and sex lol I wouldn’t have agreed to this if I knew Scarlett was going to be here. I would’ve said No. She didn’t need to be around (even if just in bed) for the tears and shouting. But as she wasn’t, we had the freedom to figure it out.


We didn’t get out of bed until late as we hadn’t gone to bed until almost 5am. We decided to go for food and cinema. So we hopped on a bus at 4ish. We went to buy our tickets at the cinema but the 6:30pm showing was basically all booked up. So we booked the 9:20pm. We went across the road to Pizza Express and had a lovely meal. I think I may have overdone it on Garlic Dough Balls lol we ate then walked to the Spoons across the road and had 2 drinks. We talked and laughed load. It was really nice.

We watched John Wick 2 and it was really good. It finished quite late. We thought we had missed the last bus of the evening but luckily there was one at 12:02am so we jumped on that one then got off at the train station so we could get a cab. The bus only takes you through the station, it then goes off to another town. Hence why we got off.


We didn’t go to sleep until almost 6am. It is ridiculous. My dad text saying he was leaving, to bring Scarlett back, at noon. So I got myself up and got Brett up. He didn’t wanna get up. He is hard work when it comes to getting up. But he did. We walked to my Nan’s. He was in a bit of a mood. Not an angry mood. More like a sad resigned kind of mood. I didn’t know how to help him. He didn’t eat his dinner so we took it home when we left a few hours later. He perked up when we got home. He ate. Scarlett ate. Then he did bath, bottle and bed for her. She does really love him. He little face gets so excited. He decided, as he wasn’t rota’d to work this week, he would stay another night and spend Monday at home with Scarlett.

Monday (today):

So today I got up for work and I got Scarlett up at 7ish. I got Brett up and he had her all day. He got her to nap, twice. The nursery struggle to get 1 out of her because she is too nosey. But she was very good for him. Her gave her the morning bottle, porridge then a nap. Then they played, then she had lunch followed by her second nap. She had a bottle when she woke and then she played until I got home from work. I think he has realised what it was like for me at home, with her all day, when I was on maternity. And she is easier in some respects now than she was before. It isn’t “easy” like a lot of people assume. Mentally it is very hard going. Especially as it is such a big adjustment going from working full time, to being on “your jollies” for a few weeks of maternity pre-baby. To then being a full time mom to a newborn. I think I have adjusted quite well to working again. So much so that I enjoy our weekends together much more than I use to, when I was home ALL WEEK. Weekends didn’t hold much difference than weekdays, before.

She went to bed at 7 like normal. We had already had dinner. She kept trying to help herself to his dinner. She stuck her hand in his ketchup at one point. It was hilarious to watch. We watched TV then I said I would run a bath. So we sat in the bath together like we use to. Brett and I. Then we showered off and got out. We are just laid in bed now. I have work tomorrow and he is going home. He wants me to wake him when I am up. God I hate doing that lol #grumpypants


Blood appointment

Tuesday Scarlett’s dad came over to see her for a while. He was very quiet. Not that I mind. I don’t have much to say to him. Believe it or not, I don’t actually like him. I’m civil and for the most part polite but it’s simply because I don’t feel it’s necessary to be rude to each other.

Wednesday he messaged me saying the child maintenance people had got in touch with him. He claims he was surprised because I had not mentioned I’d contacted them (Yes I had mentioned it). He is now saying he wants a DNA (yet when I offered it a month ago, he said he didn’t need it. Funny how money changes things). I said fine you can have one but if you’re having doubt then perhaps it’s best if you don’t see her until the DNA is done? I think that’s fairly reasonable. It’s too fickle for everyone if he’s seeing her but isn’t convinced she’s his child (she is, btw). He then twisted it back saying I was stopping him see her. Not at all what I said. It took all my energy to stay calm in my replies. I left him to it and didn’t expect to hear from him but after work he messaged saying he’s looked at DNA tests online and doesn’t think he can afford to have it done. He asked me if I knew why he wanted one done. I replied that it’s because we were not in a relationship together. He said “no its because you were sleeping around”. Umm excuse me? So sleeping with him means I’m automatically sleeping with everyone apparently. Then he went on to say that “well you must’ve been, you put out for me the first time”. Well when the whole point of meeting is for “a bit of fun”, it would be weird NOT to, right? Plus, I didn’t have sex by myself. He was there too. So HE put out on the first time we met too. Duh! Then he said “oh well you obviously don’t use condoms”. Ummm actually 95% I do. But with him I wasn’t “sleeping around” with anyone else so when we BOTH decided to just do it without on the 5th or 6th time (not the first) we met, I didn’t think it was a big deal. I knew I was “clean”. I trusted he was. I believed (from what I’d been told at 21) that I wouldn’t get pregnant. And I did. Massive shocker. But I don’t regret it. Why would I? I have a gorgeous girl now, who I never thought I’d ever have.

So yeah, he’s been a tad ridiculous and has spoken to me like that. I’m the mother of his child, (oh no wait “potential” mother), he should show a little bit more respect.

I was really rather upset by the whole thing to be honest. It makes me regret ever going out of my way to write that letter. I should’ve just left well alone. But shit happens and here we are!!!

Thursday I had booked a day off. I tidied up. I hoovered and washed up. At 2ish mom took me to Southwood community centre as I had booked to donate blood. I haven’t been to a donation since 2012. Previous to that it had been a year and I’d been banned due to low haemoglobin levels. Thankfully the prick test showed my level was fine. It was surprising given the pregnancy, the c-section and the blood loss. I had an extra sample taken as I’ve joined the national bone marrow registry. I did my donation and shockingly I didn’t pass out when the blood left my body. 3 times in the past I’ve been laid there after it’s been done and I’ve just passed out. My body really cannot hack it lol but this time I was okay.

I went to the rest area, had a drink and some biscuits then we left to pick Scarlett up from my Nan’s. I had missed her a lot. She’s just my whole world. My heart aches when she cries, it swells when she smiles or laughs and with pride when she learns something new.

Today was children in need. My work were doing dress up for it and I wasn’t in so I agreed to dress Scarlett up in something spotty and send it in. So I did.

I got picked up by my grandad at 12.30. We swung by the nursery to collect Scarlett then we met my Nan at Morrisons. I grabbed a few bits for lunches at work then I went back with them to their house. Mom picked us up and we went home for dinner etc.

Scarlett hasn’t long gone to bed. She was up and I thought seeing as she’s up I’ll keep her up as Brett is on his way but she started flagging so I put her to bed. She’ll be super excited to see him tomorrow. I can’t wait. I love how excited she gets.

I’ve just made my bed and now I’m gonna chill till he gets here. He was working today so he’s not gonna be here until like 11 or whatever.

Can’t wait for him to get here. I’ve had such a shit week since Wednesday.


I really love hospitals…

… Not. Mom and I went into town today and I was having weird pains (kind of) the entire time. It was a mixture between lightning pains and the constant uncomfortable need to pee. I struggled to walk properly. I noticed after town and lunch that baby girl had not woken up. I had felt 1 whooshy movement since getting up. That’s not like her. She loves food, and it always (and I mean ALWAYS) makes her move. I decided to leave it until later on when I’d laid on my side for an hour and had cold water. With only 1 more movement in that time I thought “right, I’ll have some dinner and then I’ll call up the hospital”. So we ate and at 7ish I called them up. I explained the whole “reduced movements, 38 weeks pregnant today, bad pelvic pains all day and weird snot-like stuff whenever I wiped after a wee”. They said to come up for some monitoring. So we left home at 7:30ish. We put the labour bags in the car just in case.

They had me do a wee sample and then had me on the monitor for almost an hour. Her heart rate was really high for ages but eventually it dropped to a normal range of 140-145bpm. She moved a bit because they’d poked and prodded her but after they’d done the trace, her movements went back to basically non-existent even thou I was drinking cold water again. My pulse was a little high but my BP was okay.

The midwife who’d been dealing with me said she was happy with the monitoring but wanted the doctor to speak to me before I go because it’s my third trip up there for reduced movements. I said that’s fine. She said the doctor may want to discuss a possible early induction (from week 39) due to the reduction in movements. I was okay with that. So she left and we waited.

Another midwife came in and said that the doctor was busy so would we want to go home and come back for a scan in the week. I was like “not really, I’m not sure what a scan would achieve, I’d much rather speak to the doctor today whilst I’m here”. She said that’s fine if we want to wait. So we waited. She said though that the doctor isn’t likely to offer an induction as she doesn’t feel it’s necessary because I’m “still early” and my body will most likely suffer if labour is forced.

The doctor came. She gave me the options of:

  • Having an induction pessary, which she says most likely won’t work if my body isn’t ready yet.
  • Booking in for a scan on Monday, and just going home tonight and monitoring movements tomorrow and if they’re still not the “norm” then coming back up tomorrow.

I decided to go home and have the scan in the week. She did an internal examination. She says my cervix is still hard but is open enough for the tip of 1 finger. Which I saw in my notes says 1cm dilated. She gave me a sweep and afterwards I noticed more of the snot-like stuff.

Part of me wonders if I should’ve gone for the pessary but I just worry I’m forcing her out. The movements do worry me and I’d much prefer her to come out if she’s not happy than to keep her in for fear of her being born too soon. I mean I’m 38 weeks Sunday (tomorrow) but if you go by my growth scan I was 38 weeks yesterday (Friday) so I don’t think it’s that soon.

I hate all the waiting around. I just want to know she’s 100% okay and I want her here.

We’ll see how tomorrow goes. I’m in bed at the moment. I have some period-type pains and the bottom of bump aches so maybe the sweep has helped. Who knows.


Two in two days

Well I’m in my second week of work. I’m still a bit tired although that’s primarily to do with the fact that at night I can’t seem to go asleep before midnight. Which is crazy because at that point I’ve been up 18 hours. Tonight I’m fairly wide awake 11pm. Last night I was actually yawning my head off at 11 because I’d met an old friend (#38) for a late night catchup. Must’ve tired myself out.

Met a friend tonight too. First time we’ve actually met face to face. We’ve been in contact for almost a year but we just never got around to meeting. But tonight we did. He looks just the same as his pictures and he’s quite funny so that was great. Got a nice new hang-out buddy :) (#53)

So that’s two friends in two days. I’m being so sociable haha I also have a “date” on Saturday. Yes I know that is Valentine’s Day. I didn’t plan it that way. A guy asked me if I wanted to go for dinner and I said sure when? And he said Saturday. I reminded him what day it is, assuming he’d say a different day but he said it was fine if I was fine with it but we’d have to book. So if all goes to plan then I am actually going out with a handsome fella on Valentine’s Day. Even if we don’t spark at least I’ll have made a new friend. He said that same. It’ll still be a fun night because he reckons we’ll probably get on just fine anyway. So that’s that.
This is my third Valentine’s Day as a single lady. I don’t mind. V day is just a commercialised con and a huge reminder to those single people that they aren’t loved. I don’t feel that way. My mom loves me lol that’s enough, for now.

50 shades is out in two days. Friday the 13th … I don’t think I’ll watch it till next week. I will have to avoid facebook until I do because you can guarantee everyone else will be posting about it after they’ve seen it lol

AF is due. Hard to track when exactly because it’s so sporadic. Either it’s late now, by a few days (which is normal) or it is still in the time frame to be considered on-time WHEN it does show. God I hate being a female for that reason. Bleeding out my vagina. Why?! Just to irritate the shit out of me for 5-7 days. It’s such an inconvenience and makes me feel totally gross, yucky etc. I swear I shower far more in them 5 days than I do all year haha that’s a joke btw. I’ve very clean. I love getting in the bath, usually with a good book.

I am off. I’m actually sleepy now. Yay it’s almost TGIF. I won’t be left out on causal Friday this week. I shall have my jeans on :)


“You’re a wizard, Reggie”

Well Reggie and I went to the Harry Potter studio tour in London today. We got on the train at 10am and arrived in Watford at 11:20. We had ages till our tour time slot so we popped to the shops for some lunch. We both needed a wee and there’s no bathrooms in the station, this side of the barriers, so we went down the road and found a pub. By then it was about 12:15 so I said to Reggie that we’d hop on the 12:30 tour bus to the studio tour. Which we did. The bus was a replica of the purple Knight Bus in the movies except this was only a bog-standard double decker. Of course Reg wanted to sit on the top deck so we could see everything.

When we arrived at the studio we printed off our tickets and went inside. As it is Christmas there was a 20 foot Christmas tree when you first walk in. We went to the kiosk that hands you your Audio Tour. We never actually used them. We both had the headphones and iPod hung around our necks the entire day lol

We got in the queue to go in to the actual tour. We could see the gift shop, which is always on the way out, from where we stood. I wish I had more money because I could’ve bought so much more than what I did…

We walked around the tour in 2 hours. We took lots of photos, of both the stuff we saw and ourselves standing in front of things. We walked through the Great Hall which was amazing. We stood on the bottom deck of the Knight Bus. We both agreed we didn’t want to try “Butterbeer”. Everyone I spoke to beforehand, who had already visited, said it had a horrible taste and usually got tipped down the drain so we didn’t bother.

We went round the last leg of the tour and ended up in the Broomstick area. Basically you sit in a green room and follow the screen which tells you when to lean, which side to lean and when to wave. On the screen you are flying a broomstick when in reality you are sitting on a broomstick that is bolted to a box, which doesn’t actually move lol we both had a go and pictures are taken after. I told Reg we would get 1 photo each. We also had a photo done of us sat in the “Flying Ford Anglia” so we got 3 photos in total. One of Reggie on a broomstick, one of myself on a broomstick and one of both of us in the Flying Car.

Photo 29-12-2014 8 43 09 pm

Photo 29-12-2014 8 42 01 pm

Photo 29-12-2014 8 42 36 pm


We managed the tour in about 2 hours and 40 minutes. We went through the gift store and it was hectic. Reggie picked out a light-up wand and I chose a Gryffindor Prefect badge. We paid and extracted ourselves from the store lol

We got back on the “Knight Bus” lookalike and then were back on the train home. It was dark by the time we arrived back where I live. We got a lift home and Reg said he wanted to watch a film and guess which he picked… Yep, that’s it, he chose Harry Potter. Number 8 to be precise. His mom came to pick him at half 7 and Frankie ended up being swapped in his place. I don’t mind, I love having the twins anyway. It was because Fred is sick, he’s got some shitty virus and she was hoping Frank wouldn’t catch it if he’s not at home. I bet he does though.

So Frank is here till Friday I think. I have an interview tomorrow and Friday but we’ll work it out between us what to do with little man whilst I am indisposed.