Steak & Blowjob Day 2018

Let’s be honest, how many woman actually slap a steak on the grill and give their man a BJ on this day? I can safely say that no one is getting steak or anything off of me this year lol not that they do any other year …

Monday I was full on shattered. I don’t even know why. Lately I am just tired ALL THE TIME! Scarlett didn’t want to get up for Nursery and she was grumpy all the way till drop off.

Tuesday I had a busy morning then a slower afternoon. My manager’s manager had previously said he was going to sit with me and show me reports he wants me to do and send. I currently only do 2 reports at any one given time. So this is more responsibility. He showed me but he’s so quick so I said do a step-by-step guide on an email then I can use that and play around before I go “live”. Scarlett was grumpy on the way home but perked up when we got in. I put her to bed at 7:15. She rolled around till gone 8.

Wednesday [today] I had a doctor’s appointment at 9:30am. I went to work for 8. Worked till 9:15 then my Mom picked me up and took me for my appointment. I was having my coil reviewed because my periods have been mad and haywire since I had it put in 10 months ago. Which in itself isn’t an issue as they got lighter. But the last one I had in February was like a horror movie and I swear I would’ve preferred to give birth again than suffer that period pain ever again. Then last week [only 2 weeks since my last period] I started “spotting” when I wiped. Every day till Friday then it stopped. So I booked the appointment to check my coil is fitted where it’s meant to be and is working. So I saw the Doc at 9:45 and she copped a feel down there. She said it looks great [yay, my cervix looks great] and the coil appears to be firmly in place where it’s meant to be. She said she’d take a swab just to check for an infection but said it’s likely to come back normal. So she said to just bear with it, the spotting is normal and be caused by a number of things. It’s annoying but she’s right. It’s tolerable and for the most part me and coil get on fine. Certainly stops me having an unwanted pregnancy. I love my 2 year old, she’s more than enough.





Mother’s Day 2018

Friday Brett came down at 9ish. We were at my Nan’s do he got dropped there. He had gotten a card from Scarlett to me for Mother’s Day. I didn’t expect that. He wrote it in the dining room and had her draw on it for me. It was very thoughtful. He also got my a dvd from her too. La la land.

We got home and put Scarlett to bed. We laid in bed chatting for hours. Eventually we went to sleep.

Saturday Scarlett woke up at 8ish. I picked her up from the cot and changed her nappy then I took her into my bedroom to wake up Brett. To his credit, he did get up. We all went downstairs and I made breakfast. We watched Postman Pat the movie then we took Scarlett up for a nap. I had a headache so I laid down on my bed whilst she was asleep. It helped.

When she woke up we all got dressed then my mom took her in the car to town and me and Brett got the bus. We couldn’t fit all of us in the car as my brother and his girlfriend were coming to the shop as well. We met up with them in ASDA. Brett and I primarily went to get my microwave. He agreed he’d buy me one and he’s stuck by that, even post-breakup. I picked a nice little white one and then mom put it in her car.

My mom had gotten me some flowers from Scarlett. Once they’d gone through the checkout she gave them to her to give me.

We took Scarlett and went into town for lunch. She didn’t want to sit in the “baby seat”. She wanted to sit on the chair next to “daddy” to eat her lunch. After we ate we headed to my nan’s. We stayed for a cup of tea and ended up having dinner. I just about managed to eat some but Brett isn’t a huge eater and his lunch had finished him off so we wrapped it up and brought it home.

He packed his stuff up whilst I bathed Scarlett then my nan picked him up and dropped him at the station for 8. I put Scarlett to bed then I caught up with some TV before heading to bed.

Today is Mother’s Day. My mom’s away. She’s at her boyfriends. My Nan is out for dinner so it’s just me and Scarlett. Except it’s never just us in the house. God I can’t wait to move!

She woke up at 8:30. We had porridge then we watched Brave in bed whilst doing puzzles. At 11am I put her down for a nap. She woke up at 1:30. We got dressed and headed to my nan’s. She had said if we wanted some space then we were welcome to go to hers whilst she was out. So we did. I cooked our dinner. We had steak pie and chips. We watched teletubbies, played games, coloured lots. Overall just spent the day together. Which was lovely but I was a bit irked that no one wanted to make it special given that it’s my last Mother’s Day living at my mom’s house. But whatevs!

I caught Scarlett standing on my nans windowsill looking out at the kids playing outside. She wanted to join in. But she’s just too little. Maybe next year.

My grandparents got home and we had a cup of tea. Scarlett helped feed Marley, like usual. She loves being helpful. She knows the routine and doesn’t need much prompting, my clever bean!

My nan dropped us home at 6:30. We got straight in the bath. Scarlett loves it when we share a bath but I don’t do it often as it’s harder work than if I just bath her quick then get her dressed lol we came downstairs to watch some dancing on ice as she loves it. We spoke to Brett then I took her up at 8:15. She cried so I had to go back up for cuddles then she went to sleep. Haven’t heard a peep since!

I started watching a film on my iPad but got distracted then it was too late to watch the rest so I’ll watch it another day.

Work tomorrow. Hope it’s not a stressful day. Got enough stresses in my head with this move!


P.S. 11 days till moving day!!!!

50 shades of pure cheese!

Friday Brett got here relatively earlier than usual. My Nan picked him up from the train station at like 9:15 so he was at mine for 9:30. We watched some TV and then climbed into bed.

Saturday Scarlett woke up quite early. About 7ish. I got her up and out the cot at 8. I did her some breakfast. She had some fruit and a yoghurt. We watched some TV, did some colouring and she played with my hair. At 9:30 we came upstairs to get Brett up. Mom did us some breakfast. She cooked. We headed down town to the bank as I needed to transfer some money. Then we headed to my nan’s. We stopped for a few cups of tea. At 3pm we headed Home to pack a few bits for our night “away” then we set off for town. We checked in at the hotel, dumped our stuff then headed back to town. Brett needed some new clothes so we hit up Sports Direct then we went back to the hotel. We put the TV and chilled for a bit. We decided we’d eat at 7ish as movie was 8:40. We ended up eating at 7:30/8ish. We went to the Tilly in town (Wetherspoons). Cheap meal and good food. I was stuffed.

We watched 50 shades freed. It wasn’t bad but it wasn’t as intense as the book. And I feel their stuffed the good bits (kidnapping) into a small 5 minute segment. It could’ve been much more exciting than that. Also it just felt so damn cheesy. Eurgh!

After the movie finished we walked back to the hotel. We put the Winter Olympics on. We stayed up chatting about EVERYTHING. It was really nice and good fun. But we didn’t realise how late it was and when we finally laid our heads down to sleep it was half 3 in the morning. Not ideal.

Sunday I woke up at 8ish with my alarm but I reset it for 9 and went back to sleep. I got up at 9 and jumped in the shower. I needed to get the make up off my face and wash my hair. When I was done I woke Brett up. We checked out just after 10 and walked back to the Tilly for breakfast. Brett didn’t eat. He never does lol I did though, I was hungry.

We jumped on the bus and headed to my Nan’s. Scarlett was happy to see us, for all of 5 minutes. We stayed there for dinner then we headed home at like 4ish. Brett packed his stuff and he left to go home at 5:30. I sorted Scarlett some supper then we did our Weekend Box. 1 of the things was a creative thing. We created dinosaur claws. The other was a cooking/baking thing. We made chocolate rice crispy cakes.

After we made the cakes we watched half of Dancing on Ice. She proper loves it. We did bath time then we watched the rest. She went to bed but she sang for ages. She’s so funny!

Today I woke up to a little horror scene. Since having the coil fitted I’ve been in a weird pattern of having my period one month but skipping the next totally. My periods had gotten lighter. It was great. But today was nasty. I wasn’t expecting it but I had skipped January so I figured at some point something would come. I’ve felt drained all day. I’ve also had a bad headache too. Awesome!

Tonight Scarlett told my mom she didn’t like her. It was in reply to my mom yelling at her to move as she was standing underneath my mom when she was trying to make tea. Hot water is never ideal. She said “me no like you nanny” then stomped out. Teenager alert! Lol

I watched Criminal Minds as it’s back on but now I’m in bed because my head in banging. I’ve taken more paracemtol as it’s been 4 hours now.


Pancake Day & Valentine’s Day 2018

Monday I got the call. I had been accepted to take the property on. I was so excited but I also felt nauseous. I felt like something was going to go wrong. I was asked to send my photo ID and proof of address [bank statement] so I did. I was also told to get the guarantor’s photo ID. So I text my Dad and long story short, I don’t want him to guarantor for me. So I had to find someone else and luckily my mom’s partner Mark offered. We put his details forward and the landlord accepted the change. I sent Mark’s details to the agent who will now do all the checks. He spoke to Mark on the phone and everything seems to be fine. I am a little excited now. I will need a sofa, microwave, toaster and kettle. Plus cutlery and crockery. Other stuff is just “tidbits”. I have bedroom furniture. One of my units from my bedroom can be used as a TV stand and there is always cheap coffee tables and dining tables online.

There is a new ITV mini drama on this week called Trauma. So far it is very good. It had me engrossed an eager to figure out whether someone is lying or not. My friend is watching it too so we’ve been debriefing afterwards.

Tuesday my temp at work was off sick. My manager is on annual leave this week so I was completely alone in my little office. It was BLISS. I don’t mind working with people but I work best when alone. I can just turn the radio on, rock away and do my thing.

Tuesday was Pancake Day. I don’t usually eat them as I haven’t liked them since I was a kid. But I decided to re-try them this year. Scarlett likes pancakes [she prefers the thick american style ones]. So we both had pancakes with nutella spread on top then we rolled them to cut them into little pin wheels. It wasn’t half bad.


After pancakes Scarlett went up for a bath then she had a bottle and went to bed. I cooked myself some dinner at 7:30. It was ready at 8ish. I watched a new episode of Supernatural on my iPad as I was waiting for the latest Trauma episode which was on at 9pm. I watched that then at 10pm I watched the second episode of Reqiuem. Can honestly say that typically I am not a wimp with weird/horror type things but this show has freaked me a little. I climbed into bed just before 11.

Today is Valentine’s Day. We celebrated part of it on Saturday as Brett brought me flowers [which I had to leave at his house] and we exchanged cards. But we are staying in a hotel this Saturday coming, having a meal then going to the cinema to watch 50 Shades Freed. It’ll be fun spending some time alone. Unlike traditional couples who meet before a baby comes along, we met after so he’s only ever known me as a package deal. And that is perfectly fine. He accepted this when we met. However to make sure we survive as a couple we need to spend time alone together, every now and then. Which we try to do every few months. Plus we go cinema/eat dinner out once a month so that’s nice. My nan is having Scarlett on Saturday for us and then we’ll go to her house in the morning after we’ve checked out from the hotel and have dinner at hers. It’ll be a good weekend.


I am on lunch at the moment watching TV on my Ipad. Lucifer wasn’t on yesterday so I assume it’s on a break.


A mini rave for a 2 year old

Friday I emailed TurtleTots about swimming lessons as I planned. I am hoping to book her in for Saturday classes same as before. But I want her to have her lesson earlier in the morning. She never wanted to go when her lesson was 12 because she was either tired because she was due to nap, tired and cranky because we had woken her or she was hungry. Either way she was miserable until she actually got there and realised what we were doing.

When I got in from work I hoovered up [Scarlett pretended to hoover with her toy Henry Hoover] then I took her up for a bath. She went to bed at 8ish. We had dinner. We had KFC then I went upstairs.

Saturday Scarlett woke up at 7am. She had lost her dummy. I gave her another one and she went back to sleep. She woke again at 8ish. I heard her singing. As she wasn’t calling for me or crying I left her for a bit. At 8:30 my mom popped her head in and said she was taking her downstairs for breakfast. So I laid in bed a little longer. We got dressed and headed out. I had to pop to town to buy a birthday card for the little boy whose party we were attending. I drew out some money [£10 for his card] and checked how much was in Scarlett’s account. My mom’s friend had put in money for her birthday and wanted me to confirm it had arrived there. It had.

After town we headed to Costco. I didn’t fancy going in as mom was only after some toilet rolls so we stayed in the car, me and Scarlett. We went to my Nan’s for lunch and I threw some make-up at my face – I’ve run out of foundation [which I only discovered when I went to put some on. Luckily I had a different “type” of coverage which worked]. At 2 my grandad dropped us at the party venue. It was like a mini rave. It was pitch black with loud music and disco/strobe lights. There was an indoors bouncy castle. But given how dark it was I didn’t fancy Scarlett hurting herself because some unsuspecting child has collided with her. Sitting up A&E on a Saturday is not fun. So I kept her away from it. But given how dark it was, she wasn’t keen on being there. A few times she wandered away from me chasing a balloon and almost got mowed down by a kid on a bike so she soon stood next to me. She stole a cake when we first got there. She is so funny, she made a beeline for the table of food. Typical Scarlett!!!

We left at 4pm, instead of 4:30pm. We walked across the road to the shop to get sweets and then we got picked up. We stopped at my Nan’s for dinner then we headed home. I got Scarlett in the bath then she went to bed at 8ish.

Sunday she woke up at 10am. How lazy! We had some breakfast together and watched Kung Fu Panda. At half 12 we got dressed and walked to my Nan’s as we were having Sunday roast there. We ate then she played. She followed Macey (my cousin) around. She loves playing with the big kids. We stayed until about 4:30. My aunt had turned up at 3:45. 45 minutes with her lots craziness was enough. Plus Scarlett had not napped all day so we needed to go and chill at home.

We had a cup of tea and we watched the movie Megamind. She actually did watch a lot of it. I took her up for a bath then she went to bed at 7:45.

I jumped into the bath at 9ish then I climbed into bed. I was eating giant buttons the night before and I must’ve dropped one. I was getting ready for bed after my bath and I noticed there was brown crap on my sheet. I genuinely thought it was shit. Then I remembered “I haven’t shit myself so..”. I smelt it (gross I know) and it was chocolate. Had zero clue where it came from. Then I remembered the buttons. But, I didn’t drop any. I ate the motherfuckers. Then I noticed I had chocolate on my foot and as I was searching for more I saw a squished button on the sole of my foot. How an earth I hadn’t felt it, I could not tell you. It was disgusting because visually my brain was yelling “SHIT. ITS SHIT. EWWW”. But my nose was like “mmm chocolate”. I wiped it all off and then sat there laughing to myself. What an idiot!

Today I woke up at 7:10. Basically running late. I got myself dressed the I woke her ladyship up and dressed her. I took her downstairs. She had toast and milk for breakfast. I made my lunch then my mom arrived so I left for work. All she did was chat chat chat in the car. Most of it was her moaning about stuff. Stuff I haven’t done. Stuff that’s my fault. The usual. I was so annoyed when she dropped me.

Work was slow. The office was cold. Heaters were on ALL DAY! We had a conference call at 11. Directors went through all the slides of some presentation thing. A lot of it wasn’t particularly interesting or relevant to me and my role. But some things peaked my interest. Mostly due to them being a tad incorrect. But hey ho.

At 4:50 I noticed my mom’s car outside so I went out to say Hi. I brought Scarlett in the office for the last 5 minutes. She sat on my desk whilst I finished some emails. I fully expect to be told off for having her there but I’ll be fuming if I am as I know for a fact there’s people in the office who’ve brought their child in to the office end of the day many times for various reasons. So 5 minutes wouldn’t hurt anyone.

After work we got home and the carpet in the lounge was soaked. Turns out the radiator has a hole in it and is pissing out water. Ideal! Mom phoned the housing people and they said a guy will come out within 4 hours. We put a bucket under the leak and turned the heating off. I was due to view a property at 5:45, in my road (view here). So at 5:40 we set off down the road with Scarlett. It’s a lovely 1st floor 2 bedroom maisonette. It has a garden, big lounge, decent sized rooms, good bathroom. It’s been newly redecorated and recarpeted. Lots of built in storage space with gas central heating too. I do like it but I’m keeping my options open so I’m viewing a maisonette in town tomorrow lunch. I like this one a lot. It’s very ideal due to its location. So we’ll see.

The guy came and looked at the leak. He was unable to fully remove the radiator due to the wooded fittings on the wall surrounding it. He said he’ll isolate the radiator so it’s no longer connected to the system so we can still use the heating for the other radiators. So we’ve turned it back on as Scarlett will freeze to death in her ice box room. He said someone will ring up about coming out to replace the radiator soon. They’ll probably need I rip off some of the wooden slats. Oh well, got to be done I guess. Our carpet is soaking wet. It squelches when you step on it. Lovely!!

Scarlett went to bed at 7:30. She settled at 8 whilst we were eating dinner. Mom got ready for work. I watched some TV then I came up to get into bed and watch some new NCIS. I turned it off at 11pm and now I’m just laid in bed thinking about all the stuff I will need when I move out. I can’t wait!


A murder, a party and losing the will to live

Friday I went to work. I felt like absolute shit. I was manic all day. Trying to catch up. Trying to do stuff. I made a fair dent in my emails.

After work we went home. There had been an incident near to the party venue at 2pm and I wasn’t sure if the road would be open in time. There had been a fatal stabbing and the road was cordoned off.

Saturday we woke up at 7:30ish. Mom had worked the night so she grabbed breakfast on her way home. We ate when she got in. Scarlett ate loads. I was due to go to the venue for 11. I needed to go to town to get her cake. So I put her down for a nap then at 9:45 Grandad picked me up. The road was still shut. I had phoned the venue at half 8 and they reckoned I was still able to go ahead with the party. So I went to Asda to sort her cake. I settled on one of her Cake Smash pictures on it. I grabbed myself a new top to wear then we paid and left. I stopped by Home to grab what I needed then I went to my nan’s. She lives nearer to the venue than I do and I was due there at 11ish.

I walked over. I was perplexed. I couldn’t figure out how I was meant to get in when the front of the entire building/flats was cordoned off, including the road. I walked round behind and found the security guy (we had spoken on the phone). He let me in and said he’d lift the car park barriers so my guests could come in and out. And when we are finished later to call him and he’d come lock up the building.

The soft play guy arrived to set up at 11:15. My nan came with the food. I decorated and everyone blew up the balloons. I can’t because I’m allergic to latex. The guy finished setting up and left.

Just before the party was due to start I creeped into the toilet so I could slap some makeup on and change my top. Then I headed back out. I still felt like shit but the party was actually happening so I “put my big girl pants on”.

People arrived. People had a laugh. The kids played. They ate. It was good. I did some mingling. I met some of her Nursery friend’s parents. They’re all lovely. The kids too.

We did some presents from Brett’s brother because they’re big and they said it’ll be easier for them to take them straight back home in the car. Otherwise I’d have to drag it to their house on the train next time we visit. It was a crayola my first easel set. She’ll love it.

We did the cake at 2ish then everyone slowly parted ways. We gave them all their party bags and then when they’d all gone we tidied up. The soft play guy came at 2:50 and put everything away. I paid the remaining fee. I called security to inform them that we were leaving then we left.

We stopped at my nans house for a cup of tea then we headed home. Scarlett had eaten a lot so she just had some chips with Brett. I had a chicken curry. She had her bath then she went to bed.

We both felt knackered so we climbed into bed at like 9:30. We were going to watch a film but instead we just laid in bed chatting. We went to bed quite early, must’ve been midnight.

Sunday Brett looked at trains and they were rail replacement so he said he’d go home the next day. Worked for me. Scarlett got up at 8. We had breakfast at 10 then I put Scarlett up for a nap. We woke her at 12:30 so we could go out for dinner. We went to the Beefeater in town. I had garlic flatbread for starter then a buttermilk fried chicken burger with chips for a main. Scarlett had chicken bites, chips and peas. She ate a little but she wasn’t overly hungry. She helped my mom eat her dinner though lol

We left the restaurant a 3:15 and headed to my Nan’s. We had a cup of tea then headed home at 5ish. Scarlett had a yoghurt then went up for a bath at 6:30. We got her into bed at 8pm. We wanted to watch a film. Brett said Django so I found Django Unchained on Netflix. We watched it. I made him some supper. I ate my leftover rice from the night before.

The film finished quite late. I needed a shower as I had Work the next day. So we jumped in the shower then got into bed.

My neck has been really painful. Neck. Not throat. My throat is tolerable. My neck hurts if I turn too far either way. If I tilt my head. If I swallow or cough. It’s ridiculous. I cried. In bed. In front of Brett. I hate crying but I hate crying with an audience even more!! He cuddles me and said I’d be ok. It helped. We went to sleep.

Today I woke up and I just felt like utter shit. I was sick in bathroom. My head was pounding. My neck was killing me. I called in dead sick then booked a doctors appointment. They gave me a triage call first then an appointment for 11:40. I watched more Hemlock Grove then I climbed into bed with Brett. He woke up and said he was going to head home. So he left at half 10. At 11:20 I set off for the Doctors. I saw the same doctor as last week and she couldn’t get me out of there quick enough. Apparently my neck pain is muscular and will go away on it’s own. Basically put up and shut up!

After the doctors I walked to my nans house. I had some lunch at 12:30 then at 3pm mom came round. We went to Morrison’s to grab some food for Work then we went and picked up Scarlett. She had a good day. She ate and slept well apparently.

We went home and did some colouring. We played with her baby dolls. I took her up for a bath. She won’t get undressed. Turns out she needed a poo. When she was finished I stripped her off and she had a bath. She had her bottle and I took her up to bed at 7:30 but she didn’t settle. Mom went up once to sort her out. She’d taken her trousers off. I went up the second time and brought her downstairs. We turnedthe lights off and just had the tv on, down low.

I took her back up to bed at 9:30 as she seemed more ready for bed. I think she was missing me because she sat with me, cuddling and kissing my face. Rubbing my arm. Playing with my hair. So I can’t be mad at that!

I watched Vera at 10pm. It’s almost 2 hours long so it’s only just finished. I’m headed to bed now.


4 days till baby is 2!

So I’ve just had the shittest day I’ve had in ages. And a lot of it was fuelled by tiredness, hunger, hormones and the bastard rain.

Friday’s journey to Brett’s house wasn’t bad. Just bit packed on the train. That’s the problem with travelling at rush hour. We got on the 5:15 and got off at 6:35 so not too bad. Brett met us on the platform. His mom was in the car waiting.

When we got back we had some dinner. We had chip shop because it’s a Friday. Scarlett had already eaten at Nursery so she just had some chips. Brett bathed her then we put her down to bed at 9:30. She took ages to drop off.

Brett fell asleep on the sofa at 10. I left him. I climbed into his bed. Played my iPhone games then went to sleep at 12:30. He climbed into bed at some point, he woke me up. But we both went back to sleep.

Saturday Scarlett stirred at 6:55. I heard her but as she’d woke me, I really needed a wee so I ran past her cot and went upstairs. When I came back down she’d settled so I climbed into bed and went back to sleep. I heard her again at 9:30. She was singing. I left her till almost 10 then I got her up. Brett didn’t get up. It annoyed me. He eventually came out the bedroom after Scarlett had already gone shopping with his mom and I had had a shower.

When they got back we headed out to see his family. We stopped at McDonald’s on the way as I was starving and Scarlett needed some lunch. We ate on the way. We were there till 3 then we headed back. I put Scarlett down for a nap. She slept for 90 minutes. I woke her up trying to get past the cot (his room is an obstacle course).

We put her dinner on at 6ish. She ate at 6:30. She had waffles, fish fingers and beans. Then a yoghurt. Standard lol

We ate at 7ish then I put her in the bath. Took ages to get her to go to sleep. Mostly because Brett was on the PS4 and took ages to get off it. We put her down then we watched a film in the front room. We watched paycheck. Not bad film. It had you guessing things, which I like.

He played his PS4, again. Whilst I played my game on my phone in bed. I went to sleep at about 1ish.

Sunday (today) I didn’t hear Scarlett until 9. She was singing so I left her be. Must’ve fell asleep. Woke up at 10 and she was quiet. Rolled over to wake Brett up. Told him it was 10 and we should get up. Slide off the bed to see her and the cot was empty. I figured his mom must’ve picked her up so I went upstairs for a wee. On the stairs I could see her feet on the sofa, she was sat with his brother. So I brushed my teeth and came down to get dressed. I told Brett we needed to relieve his brother from babysitting duties. He just stayed there so I left the bedroom and went into see Scarlett. She had already had her bottle. Then she had some grapes and a yoghurt. The dog was asleep on the sofa and Scarlett slammed her hand down when running past. It startled him and he bit her. She was really upset. I picked her up and took her into the kitchen so I could see her hand. It was a smallest of grazes. I tried to console her but she was heartbroken. I washed her hands to be safe (let’s be honest, dogs lick their own arses). I told her it was okay and he didn’t mean it, she just spooked him. Her cry was really getting to me. I could feel my eyes watering. I hate crying. And I hate public crying even more. I held it back till she composed herself. I took her in the lounge to dress her. She was much calmer. Then she took her dirty nappy out into the kitchen to put in the bin. There was people in the kitchen so I seized my chance to escape upstairs. I had a wee and cried. I cried because my heart hurt. I don’t like when she’s upset. I don’t like not being able to control things. It wasn’t really anyone’s fault. The dog is old and was asleep. She startled him. But he shouldn’t bite. I’m so hormonal. Since the coil I’ve been skipping my period every other month. And it’s annoying. Because yeah, no blood, yay brill. But hormones still rain on me. So I’m either a blubbering mess or a psycho bitch. No inbetween #ideal

I tried to put her down for a nap before dinner. Brett was on his PS4 and didn’t get the hint when I said I wanted to put her to sleep. So after 90 minutes of trying I gave up. Then we had dinner. We got our stuff together and we left to get the train at 4ish. There was rail replacement buses from Woking (2 stops from Home) and I can’t do them buses as they are coaches and I get motion sickness. So I asked my mom if she minded picking us up from Woking. My brother’s girlfriend lives in Woking so she said yeah ok I’ll drop her back when I get you. So ok cool.

We got off the train at 5pm. It’s been raining for 2 days. So it’s soaking wet outside. They tell me to exit via platform 5. So I do. Then I’m told they got stuck because there is a road closed and they got diverted for like 2 miles and can’t get to me so can I go back through the station to platform 1’s exit. So I go back in and explain to the guard. They let me through. I come out the other exit. See mom waving down the road so walk as fast as I can carrying our overnight bag and pushing the stroller. Eventually we’re all in the car. Wet but in. Off we go to drop Natalia home. Scarlett is asleep within minutes. Not ideal. But whatever.

We had to divert again on the way home but we finally arrived just after 6. Kitchen was a mess. The water was still turned off. My mom nipped next door to ask if she could fill up some bottles with water so we could at least make tea. Scarlett had a hissy fit. She sounded like she was in pain. She was really upset. She wouldn’t let anyone pick her up off the floor. She ended up in my mom’s arms and she handed her to me. She calmed down. I asked her what was wrong. She said her elbow hurt (no idea) so I asked if she wanted me to kiss it better. She said Yeah. So I did. Then I asked if she wanted her tea. She shook her head. I said what do you want? She said “my bottle”. So I put her pyjamas on and wiped her face (no bath so it’s the best I could do) then I made her milk. She drank it and seemed to perk up. My mom’s friend came round to fix the pipe on the washing machine. Scarlett said Nunight at 7:30 and I took her up. She went to sleep. Water was back on so I watched Vera at 8 then at 10 I got in the shower. Omg it was so nice to wash my hair. I hate going to work with greasy hair and lately my hair is nothing but greasy. Ughhh!

I laid on my bed for a while after, enjoying the warmth from the heating that had come on whilst I was showering.

Now I’m in bed. Can’t sleep as I didn’t get up till 10 but I’ll try my best!

Scarlett is turning 2 in 4 days (although it’s almost 3 days now). It’s gone by so quick but at the same time it’s gone slowly.

I’m off to dream about the time when my kitchen wasn’t a shit hole, my hair wasn’t constantly greasy and I didn’t feel like shit (sore throat is back).