Not how I expected my weekend to go

Friday was a nightmare at work. My temp, who use to give me a lift, said she wasn’t coming back on Monday. One of the managers had upset her and she didn’t want to work in a place where people are rude to each other. She was furious in the afternoon. I half expected her to up and leave there and then. I think she would’ve if she’d had her car but her husband had borrowed it because his was in the garage.

We were due to go to Brett’s house. Normally I check the trains ahead of time but I left it until 3pm. When I looked it said there were delays my end of the tracks until 5-6pm and his end there was a lot of cancelled trains due to an issue at East Croydon. So I thought we could go at 7pm as the was a train at 7 that looked like it was the usual 1 connection, 1 hour 15 minutes route. But when I got in from work, I realised it would be far too cold, far too late and far too dark to be dragging my toddler on the train. So I told Brett that I’d decided not to come due to the reasons above. I anticipated he’d have the hump but what happened was beyond anything I expected. He was utterly vile to me. Basically insulted my parenting skills by trying to say that taking her to watch a 15 minutes fireworks display in a mild November is the same as a 90 minute December journey at 7pm at night on a Friday after being at Nursery all day. And said I must be such a good mom for taking her to see fireworks (in the dark and cold) but not taking her on a train. Also said I traumatised her by taking her to see Santa. Oh and brought up the one time recently when she was walking underneath me when I was carrying something. I didn’t see her, I turned and my knee knocked her over and she hit her head on the doorframe. Like it was an accident. They happen from time to time. I didn’t mean to hurt her and I felt awful when she was upset. I picked her up and gave her a cuddle. That’s what moms do. I frequently pick her up and cuddle her.

Anyway, he was just horrible to me and I realised that I just don’t need or want him in my life (or Scarlett’s) anymore. So I blocked him for some peace then later I messaged him to say I can’t be with him anymore. I don’t love him in the same way as I used to. I’m not coming for Christmas. And please don’t harass me to get me back or try emotional blackmail like you usually do. I then blocked him again. I was up till almost 3am chatting to my bestie. She had a lot of support and advice to give on leaving a shitty relationship.

Saturday he tried to call me at some point in the morning as I had a voicemail. I only listened to a few seconds before deleting it.

Scarlett got up at 9. She had her bottle and we read some of her new books. She asked for breakfast. I asked her what she wanted, cereal or toast? She said toast. I said tea too? She said yeah! She’s so funny. So she had tea, toast and banana. I waited to eat with my mom as she was going to cook breakfast. We ate at 10:30. Scarlett had some sausage then I put her up for a nap at 11:15. I went up and got in bed because I was so cold and I had a headache. I fell asleep and woke up at 1:30. Then Scarlett woke. I dressed her then I finished putting addresses on the presents I needed to send.

Mom drove me to the post office so I could mail everything. I mailed all my gifts except my Australian secret santa. It was going to cost me £88 to send a £30 gift lol so I decided to try a different postal service. We went into town so I could get a refund on the PS4 Pro I bought Brett for Christmas. So I’m now £300 richer. Which is great because I have Scarlett’s 2nd cake smash to pay for in January as well as her birthday party.

After Argos we went to my nan’s. She had a full house. Everyone was there. We stayed for a few cups of tea. Scarlett had lunch when we first got there. We left at 5. I ordered a Chinese whilst we were watching Madagascar. It took over an hour to come. Scarlett was proper hangry. We ate then I took her up for a bath. I ended up bathing with her. We got our and got dressed. I did her bottle then she said goodnight to everyone as my mom was going to work and so was my brother. I took her up at 9:15 for bed. She was flat out within 15 minutes.

I was watching Grimm on Netflix when the bloody door knocked. I knew who it was. No way was I answering. I have nothing to say to him. I thought I’d made myself pretty clear in my message the night before. I ignored the door. But he knocked twice more. The light in our kitchen was on so I knew he’d see me if I darted upstairs to look out the window. I stood in the doorway and he must’ve sense it because I heard him say something about “come on just answer the door”. I ran upstairs to tell my brother girlfriend not to open the door. Not that she would have. It’s late.

I came back down and he spoke to me through the letterbox. Said he wanted to talk so could I at least open the door. I said no. It won’t change anything. I’m done. I can’t do this anymore. He said he wants to try and he’s listening. I said why listen now. You’ve had almost 2 years. We’re not the same as we were. It’s finished. He got a bit angry and slammed the letterbox. I thought he was gone so sat down but he came back and called my name. So I said what? He said so this is it? You want me to go? I said Yes that’s what I’ve been saying. He said he was sorry it got to this point and sorry we couldn’t work it out. He said he hopes I have a good Christmas and I look after Scarlett then he slammed the letterbox and went. Me and my brother’s girlfriend sat in the front room for a while, expecting him to knock again. But he didn’t. We chatted a bit and then I carried on watching Grimm.

I’m in bed now. Going to have a lazy day tomorrow. I just want to relax and have a laugh with my baby girl. She’s all that matters to me.

TTFN x

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The Doctor copped a feel

Friday Brett didn’t arrive until almost 1am. Because I had fell asleep when I came home sick from work, I wasn’t tired yet so we watched some tele then went to bed about 3am.

Saturday Scarlett woke up at about 8am. Not too bad considering she went to bed at 9:30. She had her bottle in bed with us. She spoke to Brett but he was half asleep. I took her downstairs. She opened her advent for Days 1 and 2. As well as her first and second days of Book Advent. Her book was Fox’s Socks. Day 2 book was Princess Mirror-Belle and Snow White.

We had porridge for breakfast then I put her down for a nap. We were due to go out at 11. We didn’t leave until 11:30. Oops! We went to Camberley to take Scarlett to see santa. As you can see it went as well as last year!

After Santa we went and grabbed lunch at Wetherspoons. Scarlett had salmon fish cake, mash, peas and some cucumber and peppers as a side. I had a chicken burger and chips. Brett had steak and chips. Food was pretty good. Scarlett ate so much. We hadn’t taken the stroller with us so she was walking a lot but she’s still so little so we also carried her a bit too. Man she’s heavy lol

After lunch we went to Primark as my nan had asked me to get 2 gift vouchers for my cousins for Christmas. I also picked up matching Christmas headbands for me and Scarlett then we got a lift to my nans. We had a cup of tea then at 4 we headed home.

Scarlett had some fruit and a yoghurt for dinner (she ate loads at lunch) then Brett bathed her and then after a bottle and storytime she went to bed at 7. She went straight down like a good girl.

We ordered some dinner and watched Criminal Minds catch-up with my mom. My dinner took ages!! Brett’s came and he’d eaten it long before mine came. We had separate because he wanted pizza and I didn’t.

He has a bath whilst I read my book in bed. We were going to watch a film but I had bellyache so I went to sleep about 11. My grandad’s Birthday is today. He’s 68.

Sunday Scarlett woke at 8:45. That’s some epic sleep she had. She must’ve had almost 14 hours sleep! She had a bottle then she had toast (she asked for it). I had porridge and of course she had to share it when she’d finished hers lol

Scarlett opened Day 3 of Book Advent which was the book Everyone Loves Underpants.

We woke Brett up at 10. I put Scarlett down for a nap at 10:30. We climbed back into bed for cuddles and just relaxed. We woke her up at 12:30 so we could go shopping then to my Nan’s for dinner. I had to stock up on nappies and wipes. We bunged it in my mom’s boot then we went to my nan’s house. We left at 4:30. I stuck Shrek on and Scarlett actually sat with us to watch it for ages. I took her up for bath time and Brett left to get the train home at like 6ish.

She and I read a story. She had her bottle then I put her to bed.

Today she did not want to get up. I don’t blame her, I didn’t want to either! She got dressed, had her bottle whilst I made my lunch then my Nan turned up so I could leave for work. I got to work and set about playing catching up from being sick on Friday. I made an epic dent in my emails and managed to finally load AIR on to the system. I did a mini victory dance because we’ve waited too long to load AIR!!!!

I left work at 3:15 as I had my hospital appointment. We managed to get parked in the middle of the day. That’s so rare! I got seen at 4:10 so only 20 minutes late. The doctor asked me a bunch of questions and then did a check. Said it all seemed normal and sent me on my way. Weird considering my GP said she was sending me for a scan. But nonetheless I’ve been discharged from the hospital so if I have any more issues or am not happy in the new year I’ll go back to my GP.

After the hospital we went to pick Scarlett up. She does a full day at Nursery on Mondays. My mom usually picks her up at 4:30 then me at 5. My nan picked her up so we got her from her house. She was having a yoghurt when we got there. Apparently she had already “helped” Grandad to feed the dog. She loves doing that. Her and Marley are BFFs.

We went home and Scarlett had some fruit as she was “hungry” – she wasn’t she was peckish. She has dinner at Nursery lol we watched some teletubbies and she opened her Day 4 on her advent calendar, as well as her Book Advent. The book was Stories for 3 Year Olds. She went for a bath then she went to bed at 7.

Mom is off tonight so we’re watching tele and having a relaxing evening.

TTFN x

Thank god I am single!

Yesterday was hectic. We got so close to loading Air at work but hit a brick wall, again. It’s so frustrating. I’ve done my part and filled out my import spreadsheets but someone somewhere else hasn’t done their part so it cannot be loaded yet.

Brett FaceTimed Scarlett at 6ish and then I bathed her then put her to bed. I watched some TV and ate my dinner. I messaged him at half 8 to see if he was ok. He’d had a shit day at work, he’d told me in the day. He said no he wasn’t so I asked what’s up? He said don’t worry about it I cba. Meaning it was a long story and he didn’t wanna get in to it. So I called him to say a proper Hey and he was really rude to me. He was like what do you want? He hung up when I was mid sentence. So I messaged him to say he didn’t need to hang up, I’d talk to him tomorrow as he’s clearly busyand he can explain why his day was shit. If he wanted. He went off on one. Started saying I was being difficult and I should just leave him alone when he’s got the hump. And just being absolutely ridiculous. I just sat there reading what he was saying I just felt so drained. Relationships aren’t perfect, I get that. Everyone disagrees. No one agrees with everything. But we are just so up and down, constantly. No matter how much he tells me arguing is normal, it’s not. It drains me. And I just sat there and I realised I didn’t want this anymore. It wasn’t worth the fighting. So I blocked communication and went to bed.

Today I woke up and it took me a while to remember what had occurred. And do you know what, I found myself not caring. I just got up and did the same things I do everyday. Nothing had significantly changed except inside my head. I felt relieved. I didn’t feel drained or boggled. I just felt “okay”. I had taken my ring off the night before. I glanced at it on the side and reminded myself to put it somewhere better than my bedside table. He may ask for it back if he ever tries to chase me. I don’t want him to. I don’t expect him to. But he does know where I am and he may turn up on my doorstep.

I went to work and I had a stressful mid-morning with air. Banged my head against the wall a lot. Afternoon was a laugh though. I helped my manager sort out Secret Santa. I sort of know the person I matched with so that’s good.

After work we headed to the social club for my cousin’s birthday. She is 4 today so her mom has thrown a party. There was a bouncy castle and lots of soft play toys. Scarlett dived straight into the buffet and spent 20 minutes walking around eating a biscuit watching everyone playing. She did a disgusting stinky poo and I had no wipes (I’d come from work) and I reasoned changing her now was a waste of happy as she was soon going home for a bath. So we braved the stench and drove home at 10 to 6. She got straight in the bath. I got in with her. She’s getting better at playing in the bath water whilst I wash my hair under the shower. Once we were both clean we got out. Went downstairs for a cup of tea. She helped my mom eat her dinner (Scarlett had already had her dinner at Nursery). Usually she goes to bed at 7 as she’s shattered but she was happy and playing nicely so I let her stay up. My mom’s friend was here so she was entertaining her. I put her to bed at 8:30. She’s so funny that kid!

My mom, my brother’s girlfriend and me watched Jack Reacher 2 whilst I ate my dinner. Now I’m in bed. Tomorrow I’m going to blitz my room for Christmas. As well as Scarlett’s. I’m living in a mess and it’s doing me no good seeing it every day!

I’m reading again so I’m going to read a bit then go to bed. I’m reading Shadow Demons (Peachville High Demons #4).

TTFN x

Part-Time Working Mummy Fest

Friday I got up for work and mom said she was dropping Scarlett at Nursery. So we bundled her in the car and set off. i got a McDonald’s breakfast to tide me over for the busy day ahead.

My mom picked me up at 1pm as I had Scarlett’s Nursery consultation for her yearly review. She is smashing life. She’s so bright and is on par, and slightly above for her milestones. This includes emotional, social, developmental and educational. Basically everything. She’s such a super star!!!

I had to pick up my night guard retainer from the dentist so we swung by then I grabbed lunch from the shop next door and headed back to work. I managed to do all this within my 1 hour lunch break. Skills!

My mom picked me up from work at 5 like usual. We went home. I bathed Scarlett and got her ready for bed. I threw some bits in a bag for her and then put some bits in my bag for me. We went to my nan’s house as she was sleeping over there. We stayed until my nan got in at 7ish then we set off.

We drove for an hour then stopped at services for a wee and dinner then we carried on. We arrived at about 10. We parked up then went to our room. It wasn’t bad. It was clean and decently sized. We shared a drink and watched Emmerdale in bed then we went to sleep.

Saturday we got up at about 8. I had a shower then we checked out and headed for breakfast. We found a Wetherspoons so we ate there. I phoned my nan to check on Scarlett. She said she went to bed at 8 and woke up at 7:30am. She’s fine. She’s had her bottle and some breakfast. I knew she’d be fine. She loves her Nana.

After we ate we walked to the Crowne Plaza Hotel in the city centre for the Part-Time Working Mummy show that started at 10:30am.

It was fab. Rachaele (part-time working mummy) is just brilliant. She’s so down to earth and the things she’s been through, just horrendous. But you wouldn’t know it because she’s so kind and funny and real. We picked up our free cupcakes (I got one for Scarlett too) and then we browsed the merchandise stalls. I got a PTWM t-shirt, wrist band and badge. I won some earrings on the tombola. My mom got a plaque, a wrist band and a badge too.

We got back to the car at 1:45pm and headed off for Home. We stopped for food about half hour away from home and finally got back at 4:30pm. I had proper missed Scarlett and I totally feel like my weekend with her will feel so short. But it’s only one time and she had a blast with my grandparents. She loves them.

We had a quick cup of tea then we headed home. I bathed her and got her ready for bed. She went to bed at 7:15 as she was shattered. I climbed into bed myself and watched a film. I watched Miss Peregine’s Home for Peculiar Children. It was weird but good.

Today Scarlett woke up at like 6:30. But she was just singing and chatting to herself so I left her. She eventually got up properly at 7:45. She had a bottle and then some breakfast whilst we watched Postman Pat the movie. She likes Postman Pat. After that finished I took her up at 10 for a nap. She slept till 12ish. In that 2 hours I laid in bed watching Doctor Stranger. Had wanted to see it for ages.

We got dressed and then we headed to my Nan’s house for dinner. She was cooking a Sunday roast.

We ate. Scarlett played a bit. I washed up and my Grandad dried up. Like normal. Then we headed home. Scarlett watched some teletubbies then I took her up for an afternoon nap. Wasn’t sure if she’d go down or not. It was 3ish. She did but it took her ages to drop off. I think I fell asleep as I was laid on my bed playing a game on my phone, listening to her singing etc. Next thing I know it’s almost 5 and she’s shouting lol

She had some supper. Skips, a cake and some fruit. We had a bath together at 7 then my mom dressed her whilst I washed my hair and got out. She went to bed at 7:45 so later than usual but only by 45 minutes. She didn’t take long to get to sleep. I had some supper with my mom then I went up to bed. I watched Captain America 3. It felt familiar in parts, like I’d seen bits before.

I’m now laid in bed. I’ve had a headache all day. I took paracetamol this morning and then ibuprofen this evening. Nothing is helping. Hopefully it goes after a good nights sleep.

TTFN x

Ps. Scarlett’s milk and cookies photoshoot pictures came back. I’ve downloaded them. I’m ready to post them online in December. So excited for Christmas!!

Legit wore my top inside out!

Wednesday. Day one as the sole member of my team. Surprisingly it went good. Lots of jokes were cracked by me about being on my own. I did lots of work. I activated all the imported stuff from the day before. I got stuck into a task that I need to finish this week. It’s all about organisation and prioritisation. That’s the key to my success as someone on their own in a team. I’ll be fine!

I had a telephone interview at 10am but the guy didn’t call until 10:25. I emailed at 10:09 saying I was ready… And he replied saying he was running late. I feel like I would not have had any warning he was late had I not messaged first. Nonetheless, we talked. The job isn’t for me. It doesn’t have the flexibility I’m after.

I wore my top inside all day. Didn’t realise until almost 4pm. I do that a lot. I did it about a month ago. So much for having my shit in order lol

Today our database went down. The server just crashed. Considering my job title is DATABASE ADMINISTRATOR, I was kind of lost without it. 1 hour and 15 minutes it was unreachable. But luckily it bounced back. I had so much to do I was cursing it.

I had another job interview during my lunch break. Not sure it’s suitable for me. It’s an awful lot of telephone work and the lady even said “outsiders would easily call us a call centre” – not great! But we’ll see.

Mom and I stopped for lunch on our way back to my work after the interview. We had McDonald’s. I had a semi-productive afternoon. Whilst our database was still working, it was incredibly slow and everything I was doing took twice as long. However I did manage to progress a few things on my to-do list so that’s fab.

After work I came home and helped my mom sort something out on her laptop. Scarlett’s never seen a laptop and she kept following us every time we passed it between us. She tried to press buttons and look at the screen. I’m kind of slightly proud that she’s almost got to the age of 2 before seeing one and doesn’t recognise what it is.

My main aim in life is to allow her to recognise this digital age she’s growing up in but raising her with the same upbringing I had. A no-screens unless as a treat, exercise over watching television and being an actual child with fresh air and friends and silly games. I had a pretty standard childhood but it was fun. I want her to experience some of the same things.

She went to bed at 7ish. I cooked my dinner. I made homemade cheesy garlic to to with my chicken pieces and mozzarella sticks. No potato products today. Didn’t fancy any.

I need to pack a small bag for Scarlett as she is having her first overnighter at my nan’s house, ever. My mom and I have tickets to the Part-Time working mummy’s show in Birmingham Saturday so we’ve booked a hotel for Friday as the show is 10:30. It’ll be good fun. We’re going to drive up at 7pm after the traffic dies down. We will be back in the afternoon on Saturday.

I’m in bed now. I’m quite tired. Not sure why. I’ve slept pretty well this week.

TTFN x

Fireworks night 2017

Thursday my Grandad picked me up at 12. We swung by and picked Scarlett up then headed to the dentist. Scarlett had her checkup first. She wouldn’t let them look. The dentist asked if I minded her sort of forcing the issue a little and poking her fingers in to feel. I said no but she may bite (she wouldn’t, she never bites). She felt her teeth very quickly. Next it was my turn. Scarlett laid on me whilst the dentist had a look at my teeth. She said my teeth were fine but my jaw is showing damage. I grind my teeth in my sleep. Which I already knew as I’d previously been fitted for a retainer. She asked if I used it. I explained I had actually lost it and hadn’t gotten around to getting a replacement. She redid the moulding of my teeth. Scarlett was glaring at the dentist like wtf you doing to my mama?

After the dentist we went to my nan’s house for lunch. I put Scarlett down for a nap. She slept for about an hour. We discovered later that my uncle Bunny was on the BBC news because a crane doing work on a house in his road had collapsed onto a house. Luckily no one was hurt. The driver was trapped sideways but managed to escape unhurt.

Friday I felt so tired at work that I did what I don’t usually tend to do. I bought an energy drink. It was partially a precursor to the fact that Brett was due to come down. And he never turns up much before 11pm and I knew I’d be falling asleep without it. But he ended up not coming because he was at work till 9pm. I laid in bed watching some shitty Netflix film. Think I went to sleep about 1am.

Saturday morning Scarlett woke me up at like 5:30. I weren’t down for getting up so early and she didn’t want to get up. She just woke up and cried. Bad dream I guess. I managed to get her to go back to sleep. She woke up at about half 6. She was singing to herself. She didn’t get up till 7:30 so that was ok. I hadn’t really gone back to sleep though so I was tired lol

She had her milk then some breakfast. I put her down for an hours nap before we headed out. I jumped in the shower and sorted myself out. Mom went to grab our breakfast then we had to go. Brett turned up at 10:30 just as I was getting Scarlett up. I dressed her then we left. I ate my breakfast in the car.

Scarlett had her milk and cookies Christmas photo shoot at 11. She did really well. She was loving having cookies basically for breakfast. I can’t wait to get her pictures back next week.

After the shoot we went home. I tried to put Scarlett down for another hour but she wasn’t keen. I made some lunch then we headed to my nan’s for a cuppa tea. After my nan’s we went to Morrison’s to get some shopping. I bought a few xmas presents for my friends kids.

We came home and I cooked dinner after we’d packed the shopping away. We had pizza and cheesy garlic bread. Brett had bought a mini cake for him and Scarlett to share. They had some after dinner. I took her up for a bath at 6:45 then she was ready for bed. I gave her a bottle then I put her to bed.

We left for the cinema at 7:30. My brother’s girlfriend was babysitting. I don’t leave Scarlett with anyone except my parents, Brett’s parents, my grandparents or her godmom. So this was a big deal for me. But I knew she’d be fine as she was in bed and she’s not a typical waker-upper lol

My mom, her boyfriend, me and Brett watched Thor: Ragnarok. It was pretty good. It was funny in places. We figured out a lot of the plot line as we went along. Brett and I could write these films lol

After the movie we drove to a kebab van as the others hadn’t eaten. Then we went home. I got into bed as I was cold and tired. Brett had a cigarette then followed. We didn’t go to bed that late unlike normal when we go to bed at like 2am.

Sunday I heard Scarlett talking to herself on the monitor at like 7ish. Maybe later. She wasn’t crying or shouting to get up so I left her for a while. Think we got up properly at 8. She had a bottle whilst we watched some teletubbies. I gave her breakfast at 10ish then put her down for a nap. She went to sleep at 11. We watched Child 44 together (me and Brett). She woke up about 25 minutes from the end. I dressed her and took her downstairs to play.

We put Shrek the Third on Netflix whilst dinner was cooking. We had a nice cooked roast chicken dinner.

Scarlett has learned 2 new words today. She learned WHY. Dear god not that one lol and also ELBOW. We said where’s your elbow and she said “on my arm” and pointed to her elbow. She’s so clever I could burst with pride.

I tried to put her down for a nap between dinner and fireworks. But she wasn’t game. So we ended up throwing her in the bath at 5:30 and getting her ready for bed. This consisted of a thermal all-in-one with a long sleeved vest underneath then she put on a coat and boots. Plus a hat. Then she was ready to go. We got to the football club at 6:35 and luckily found 4 seats together in the third stand along. Scarlett took turns in sitting on Brett’s lap, my lap or my mom’s. She was fine with the fireworks except when the “louder” ones were all grouped together. They were nosier when there was a few going at the same time. She got a little upset but nothing a little bit of reassurance wouldn’t fix. The show was only 15 minutes long and once it was done we left for Home.

I got her bottle ready and she went to bed at 8. So not an overly late night as she goes to bed at 7 usually. An hour won’t make much difference.

Brett and I stuck a film on at about 9:30 in bed. We watched The Back-Up Plan. He told me the character JLo played reminds him of me 100%. He’s a dick but he’s also correct.

We’re off to sleep now as it’s half 11 almost and I have work tomorrow. I’ve got a busy day as I have a few meetings.

TTFN x

Rail replacement buses

Friday wasn’t too bad at work. I got a lot done but I didn’t feel that productive. I just got by, mostly. Scarlett had a bath and went to bed like normal.

Saturday she got up at 7:45. I gave her a bottle and then we got dressed. We got picked up at 8:15 for Gravity Tots. Scarlett didn’t quite get the hang of jumping. She’s used to jumping off hard floors. It was too bouncy for her. She did enjoy herself. We ran around and played with balls and soft squares you can chuck. We managed half hour then we left to have a snack. She was freezing. They had the AC on and I’m assuming it’s so people don’t overheat as bouncing is exercise and people will get hot and sweaty. But she’s only little. Her lips went blue. I gave her a banana and some water then we got our shoes on.

We got picked up and we headed to McDonald’s for breakfast. Scarlett had pancakes and sausage. I had my usual breakfast wrap. She ate lots then went down for a nap. She slept for like 3 hours.

When she woke up we headed to Camberley. We had planned to go to Woking but it turned out there was rail works going on. No trains between Basingstoke and Weybridge which meant none from Farnborough, where I live. Oops! So we got the bus to Camberley. We did Primark first. It was hectic. Reminded me of why I hate shopping. We survived nonetheless. We went outside and there was a gymnastics display from a local dance school. They weren’t half bad. It reminded me of my dancing days. I was so flexible, and skinny lol

After Primark and the gymnastics show we headed for food. We settled on Pizza Express. Scarlett had her own little starter of Dough Balls with some cucumber and tomatoes on the side. She was dipping her balls in the garlic butter, copying me. Then she dipped her tomatoes. She doesn’t like them so she just licked the butter off lol

After pizza we got the bus to my nan’s. We had a cuppa and I showed my nan what I’d bought. Scarlett has learned to say “peace” but you can imagine what it sounds like. Nan then dropped us home. Scarlett and I jumped in the bath together. I stood up to wash my hair under the shower whilst she played in the draining bath water. She mostly just rubbed my foot with a flannel (helping me wash). I got out and then got her out. She was in bed by 8:30. So a later night than usual but it’s the weekend. I watched the finale of Stranger Things 2. I don’t know if there will be a season 3. I mean, there could be but I don’t know!

Sunday (today) she woke up at 7ish. Which would’ve been 8 had the clocks not gone back. So I can’t complain at all. She had a bottle then some breakfast. We watched some of Sharktail then she went for a nap. She woke up at 11am. I got her dressed then my mom’s friend (Scarlett’s godmother) picked us up and took us to Sainsbury’s so I could grab some stuff for work tomorrow. She dropped us at my nan’s when we were done as we were having dinner there.

We had roast beef. Scarlett ate a lot then we had ginger cake for pudding. She loved it. She had custard with hers. I don’t like custard. She tried to play with my cousin, who is almost 4 but she doesn’t seem to like Scarlett. She just ignored her when she tried to play with her. We stayed for a cuppa then we went home. We carried on watching Sharktail then I put the Bee Movie on. She fell off the sofa and kept rubbing her eyes so I took her up for a bath.

She’s been a bit of a nightmare this weekend. I feel like all I’ve done is tell her off, even shouted at her a few times. She just hasn’t listened to me all weekend. I was constantly telling her the same things to NOT do. And I don’t want our weekends to be like that given how little we see of each other in the week. And it made me feel a bit bad. Before bed she came and sat with me. She gave me a big cuddle and kisses. So I guess she doesn’t have any hard feelings about it. And her loving feelings towards me helped diminish some of my bad/guilty feelings. I love this wild crazy child of mine. She’s just pushing boundaries. It’s totally normal.

She went to bed at 7. I put some washing on and sorted myself some supper. I heard Stormzy was going to perform on X-factor so I turned it on. He appeared as the closing act. I legit sat through 2 hours of bullshit to see him lol was worth it. I love him!

I got into bed at 9. I’m just chatting on WhatsApp to my girls and playing my game.

Work tomorrow. Another week just signals another week closer to being the only database team member standing. I don’t think I can hack doing 3 people’s work. I need to find a new job. I’ve been looking for 11 months and no luck. It’s Christmas time now so everything online is temporary positions. Not ideal. So might have to give up and try again in the new year. Not where I thought I’d be at this point in the year.

TTFN x