How To Alienate Your Ex

Friday we stayed home instead of going to my Nan’s. Scarlett went to bed at 7:30. I did myself some dinner then I relaxed. I really love having my freedom. I can wander around our flat naked if I wish. I can sit on my sofa eating my dinner no matter the time. I can leave the washing up and no one is going to moan at me about it.

Saturday we got up at 8:30. I did us breakfast then we watched Monster Family movie on Sky Cinema. I put her down for a nap. When she woke up at 2ish we went food shopping with my mom. I stocked up on nappies. We aren’t Potty Training just yet. She dropped us home with our shopping. Scarlett seemed tired and we were due to have a later dinner for my cousin’s birthday. I put Scarlett in a nice dress and off we went for dinner at 7. We went to the Harvester. I had steak and chips. Scarlett had fish fingers and chips with peas. She LOVES peas. We went to my Nan’s house afterwards for a cup of tea. We got home at 10. She was in bed at 10:30. I stayed up watching TV then I climbed into bed.

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Sunday we got up at 9am. Nice little lay in for me. We were going to visit my Gran in the old folks home but we couldn’t due to no room in the car. So we stayed home. I tried to put Scarlett down for a nap at 11ish. She just rolled around my bed for 2 hours. Fun times. We got ourselves ready and walked to my Nan’s house. It was raining and we got soaked. We had dinner at about 2:45. She didn’t eat much and she was very obviously tired. We stayed till 6pm then we went home. I did her bath and then at 7ish mom turned up for a cuppa tea. Scarlett went to bed at 7:30. Mom and I watched TV. At 8:30 I made us cheese on toast then she had tea and left for home. I got in the bath then caught up on some TV before heading to bed.

I’ve not been sleeping properly since we moved in. My flat is nowhere near the motorway even though I live in the same group of roads as my mom. But 23 years next to the motorway and this flat is eerily quiet. I have been mad tired for like a week now but I think I am slowly getting use to it.

So as you know, me and Brett split up. My choice. I felt all we did was row, and tear each other down. I figured splitting up we could maybe remain friends. Maybe remember why we liked each other in the first place. And hopefully salvage that friendship we had. He still makes me laugh. I still make him laugh. Less so now that he knows I have been chatting to guys. More so one in particular. He hates 1 guy and for good reason, and he said if I touch this guy then he and I are done for good, he’ll never touch me again. Which in 1 respect is like “Well we ain’t together so it doesn’t matter” but on another it’s like “Wow ok, that’s made you pissed and hurt” and I felt bad that he was angry and upset. It wasn’t intentional. He asked me to be honest. He said he’d rather know what I was up to. So I told him. Part of me wishes I hadn’t but saying it out loud has made it real. We genuinely are done. There is no going back. He wouldn’t want me now even if I said I changed my mind or wanted to try again. I told him I hope he meets someone who makes him feel like he’s on top of the world. He deserves that. I want him to be happy. He replied with “I did. And I was”. Thanks lol

Not up to much tonight. Just going to sort Scarlett out for bath and bed. Then have my dinner and chill. I really need to start sleeping better. At work I am struggling. Need to catch up on Criminal Minds and Blindspot tonight then bedtime for 10:30/11ish.

TTFN x

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Happy Easter & April Fools Day

Thursday I had a half day at work. So I left just after 12 and headed home. My tumble dryer had been delivered and I was waiting for the repair guy to come look at my dodgy bathroom tap. He turned up at 12:30. He fixed the tap and said he’d have to come back another time to install a pump for the shower as it’s gravity fed and the water has no “push”, hence why the shower has no water coming out.

I waited all afternoon for the talktalk internet guy to come out and install everything. He didn’t show. At 6:15 I went on the online chat to ask why he wasn’t here and they told me that engineers don’t come to your property. Apparently they set it up online from some exchange thing and then you self install the box. Right ok. That’s a load of shit because the emails I got and the 3 phone calls I received “to check I was still okay for the engineer to visit my property” made no inference to no one actually coming. As a matter of fact, the wording used made it seem crystal clear that they were coming to my flat to install. So you can imagine I was furious!

So I set up my internet (WiFi) but the internet/phone line is in the Hall way whereas my talktalk TV box is next to the TV and you can’t run the TV box without being connected via the Ethernet cable to the WiFi. So I asked my mom’s friend to pop round to look. Her and her partner said I’d need a 30 meter cable to bring the WiFi and landline back into the front room so I can plug the TV box into the router to use the internet. Otherwise I can’t use my talktalk box and it’s useless having it. So they ordered 1 for me and said they’ll come sort it over the weekend.

Friday we got up and had breakfast. I put her down for a nap. My dad was visiting. He turned up. Once Scarlett was up we went out for lunch. It was a good meal and after we ate we went to my nans for a cuppa. My dad left after he drank his tea. We stayed at my Nan’s till 9 then my grandad dropped us home.

Saturday we got up and had breakfast. We had a bath then we curled up and watched a film on Netflix. My mom and her boyfriend came round for a cuppa just as I cooked lunch. Scarlett and I had chicken and chips then we went to my nan’s. We came home later and I cooked us some tea. We had pizza and garlic bread.

I’ve been watching Altered Carbon on Netflix. It’s mad weird but I kind of like it.

Today we got up at 8:30. We got dressed then headed out the door to wait for the bus. We got to town and had breakfast. Scarlett sat in a proper chair rather than a high chair and she looked so grown up.

We ate then we got our tickets at the cinema for Peter Rabbit the movie. She did so incredibly well. She sat for 55 minutes then I let her wander up and down the stairs next to our seats. She did so well though, I’m beyond proud. She’s only just 2, bless her!

After the cinema we got the bus home and I put her down for a nap. I watched an episode of Altered Carbon but I was tired (no idea why) so I turned it off when it was done and climbed into bed at 2. I expected Scarlett to wake up soon but I must’ve fell asleep quickly as I woke up at 4 because I could hear her singing. I went into see her and she’d tipped her water all over her cot. Her sheet, duvet and pillow was soaking. So I stuck it all on the radiator and re-dressed her as her clothes were soaked too.

We watched some teletubbies and I asked my mom if she wanted to go out for dinner. She said yeah so she picked us up at 5:30 and we went to the harvester. We ate and had a good time just us 3. Again, Scarlett was so good.

We got home at almost 8. I bathed her and did her milk. She went to bed at 8:45. She went to sleep quite quickly. I caught up on the last episode of The Disappearance and now I’m going to watch Altered Carbon.

Day off tomorrow. Going to spend it at home. Will probably watch a film together and play with her toys. She likes this Farmyard Bingo game someone bought her for her birthday. We match the pictures and she tells me what the animals are in each one.

I feel like I’m the only person who didn’t do an Easter Egg hunt, didn’t buy any bunny decorations or make any sort of big deal about it. This is mostly in part because I don’t wish to be a hypocrite. I’m not religious and it’s suppose to be a religious thing. People have forgotten that it’s not about chocolate. I’ve never been in to easter and I don’t want Scarlett in the habit of searching dirt once a year for candy from a strange creature. Hardly kosher lol

TTFN x

My iPhone went for a swim

Sunday I left Scarlett in the front room while I did her breakfast. She’d asked for tea, toast and a banana. I hear a noise and went to investigate. She’s there wedged between the tv unit and the tree, which has fallen down. Baubles everywhere. I was like “what happened?” And she went “oh”. I intended to get my haircut in the morning whilst Scarlett went with my grandparents to visit my gran up the old folks home. But I decided I didn’t have the money so I went along to visit her then we went to my nan’s. She cooked dinner. Scarlett went for a nap at 12:45 and woke up at 3:30. She ate her dinner when she got up.

She’s learned to say “Good Girl”. It’s so cute!

She went to bed at 7ish. We had supper and watched some tele. The holiday was on tv at half 10 so mom and I started watching it. We didn’t realise how late it was and we went to bed at like 1am. I think I fell asleep at half past.

Monday was a struggle due to my aforementioned late night. I only need 5/6 hours to survive so I’m not a typical “I need 8 hours at least” person. But bed at 1:30am and alarm at 6:30am just isn’t adequate. I struggled.

We had secret santa at work. I got a doodle pad, a lunch box and a swear box. All good choices!

After work mom did dinner and Scarlett helped us eat, obviously. I did her bath time. She whacked her head when we was going into her room. She cried and then we told the door off for hurting her (obviously) then she was ok. She did her book advent for Day 18. Her book was “The Elves and the Shoemaker”. She went to bed at 7:15. She was tired as Monday is her long day at Nursery.

I watched Emmerdale then waited for Criminal Minds at 9pm then learned it wasn’t on. It must be on a seasonal break in the US. Majorly sucks balls. So I ended up waiting till 10pm for Blindspot then I got into bed at 11ish.

Tuesday was long at work. Had lots to do which is great as it keeps me busy but the day just dragged. After work we went home and Scarlett had her dinner whilst I had a shower. When she’s eaten I took her up for a bath. She had her bottle, we did book advent for Day 19. Her book was “Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs”. She went to bed at 7.

I’ve had a card through the day from Royal Mail saying there’s a package at the depot for me. It’s there because it has an outstanding customs charge. It’s come from the US. No idea who it’s from. So I’m really excited to find out. I paid the customs charge online and it’s being re-delivered on Thursday!!!

I had my dinner at 8ish then I caught up on 4 weeks worth of The Gifted. I’ve watched 3 episodes. Got 1 left. It’s getting quite good. I got into bed at 11ish.

Wednesday I woke up a few times in the night with a bad head. Eventually when my alarm went off I knew my head wasn’t going away. I took some tablets and when they didn’t touch my head I knew I couldn’t go to work. So I phoned in to say I’m staying at home today. I dressed Scarlett, did her morning bottle and then my mom took her to be dropped at nursery.

I’m laid in bed, in the dark, reveling at the quietness of the house. Mom brought back breakfast. We ate in the dark then we both went to bed.

I woke up at 12. Mom went to pick up Scarlett from Nursery. We had cuddles then she went down for a nap. I tidied up and had some breakfast then she woke up at quarter to 3. We read her books then I did her dinner. She had pizza. She had a bath. We FaceTime Brett a lot at bath time so he can join in. I usually leave my phone next to the bath, leaning on something. She’s never touched it before. But I left the bathroom for a moment to grab her towel. I come back and my iPhone is swimming (my heart dropped). I fished it out and gave it a good dry/blow in the holes and tbh it seems to be ok. It must’ve been submerged for literally a nanosecond. She went to bed at 7:15ish.

She woke up at 9 crying. She was feverish so I gave her calpol. She then cried for a bottle so I gave her 5oz. She drank it all. She seemed happier. I let her play for 10 minutes. She then did a nasty poo so I changed her. I asked her if she was ready for bed. She said No then she said Yes. So we went up and I put her back to bed at about 10ish. I heard her cry out a few times in the night but she didn’t wake up so I didn’t go in to her. I just looked on the monitor and she was ok.

Today she was miserable when I first got her up. She went to Nursery and I went to work. I finished at 12. I got on the bus at 12:30 and then walked to the hairdressers to book in. It took an hour for me to be seen. I finally got called. They washed, cut and blow dried my hair. Then they straightened it because I mentioned I was going out. I paid and then I walked to Sainsbury’s to be picked up. Scarlett had her new dress on for the party at Nursery. We dropped her off at 3 then we went back to my nans house. I put some makeup on and changed into jeans. At 4:30 we picked her back up. She’d had a blast but still wasn’t keen on santa. Mom dropped me at the restaurant on the lake.

I went in and booked in. They led me to our table. I sat down and ordered a drink and waited for everyone else. We had a blast catching up. I had cheese topped tomato and garlic bread for a starter. Then I had steak and chips. I could not eat anything else after. We stayed for another drink and some of the others had pudding. We settled our bill then my friend dropped me Home. I had a quick shower then I caught up with Emmerdale and now I’m in bed.

My parcel came. I had totally forgotten I’d ordered a “Slay all day” tshirt for the 20 year anniversary of Buffy The Vampire Slayer. It’s massive. But it’s comfy!

It’s my last day at work tomorrow then I have 10 days off. I cannot wait!

TTFN x

Ps. Haven’t done her book advent for yesterday or today. We’ll all 3 tomorrow.

A party, a cupcake and some Netflix

Wednesday was my neighbours birthday. She works in the office above mine. She came in with a cupcake. I saved mine for Scarlett. She demolished it in the car on the journey home. She did day 13 of her book advent. She got the book “We are going on a bear hunt”.

Thursday I watched the Riverdale season finale during lunch. No idea when season 3 is coming. Can’t believe season 2 is done already. Feels so quick! Scarlett did her book advent for Day 14. She got the book “All Aboard”.

Friday was long at work. It had been a long week. It was Christmas jumper day at the Nursery so I sent Scarlett in with her new reindeer jumper. We were going to a party in the evening so when we got home I tried to get her to nap. She wasn’t keen lol I bathed her and got her dressed at 6. I sent her downstairs so I could straighten my hair and do my make up. I was ready to go. We took a few pics before we left.

Party was good. Scarlett made an automatic beeline for the buffet table. I mean, of course she did, it’s food. She ran around lots. Made a little friend and danced a lot. I danced with her. Towards the evening she was getting tired. I picked her up and she laid in my arms like she was a baby. I swayed with her and she just laid there looking at me. She didn’t try to move or get put down. It was lovely tbh. We left at 10:30 and she got straight into pyjamas at home and into bed. I think I was asleep by 11. I felt shattered. It’s hard work to work all day then go out. Even though we weren’t “that late”, it’s still long!

It was the twins birthday. They were 5 today!!!

Saturday I wasn’t woken up till almost 9. What a fab lay in. Scarlett had her morning milk then we watched some tv. We read her new books. She curled up because she was still tired. My mom got breakfast at 10:30. We ate then I put Scarlett down for a nap. Whilst she slept I ignored my feelings of wanting to nap and I hoovered the front room. In preparation for the Christmas tree being put up. I then finished wrapping presents.

Scarlett woke up when my mom got back from town. They retrieved the tree from the loft. It was up and Scarlett “helped” us decorate it. I added her personalised bits from last year and this year too.

I need to get my haircut so at 3ish my mom took Scarlett to my nan’s for a bit. My nan was out all day visiting my uncle so she’d asked us to let the dog out. I got the bus to town. I picked up my special people Christmas cards and some tidbits to wrap. Then I went to the salon. They were closing in 40m and said they didn’t have time to do what I wanted so I’ll have to go back tomorrow!

I got home at 5ish. I cooked me and Scarlett some dinner then at 6 I took her up for a bath. Also to let the others eat their dinner in peace. She opened her book advent for Days 15 and 16. Day 15 was Cinderella. Day 16 was Some Dogs Do. She had her bottle then went to bed at 7. She was flat out asleep within 15 minutes.

I did some more wrapping whilst my mom dropped my brother at work then we sat down and watched a 4 part series called Bancroft. It was very good. Kept you guessing till the end. Although we did figure out some of it.

I’ve just climbed into bed. I need to go to sleep as Scarlett will wake about 7-7:30 tomorrow.

TTFN x

It’s the weekend!!!

Wednesday I had a shower then some food. I didn’t watch Doc Martin because last weeks episode was the finale apparently. That annoyed me.

Thursday was just so long. Brett started speaking to me. I watched riverdale during my lunch break. It’s getting interesting. Brett FaceTimed to speak to Scarlett before she went to bed. I watched Emmerdale then I finished watching the Assassin’s Creed movie. It’s not that bad actually considering it’s derived from a video game!

Friday (today) I didn’t want to get up. My head felt heavy and I felt really off balance. I went in to wake Scarlett. She didn’t want to get up either. It was pyjama day for Children in Need so I got her in some clean pyjamas but she was really upset. She was crying and kept trying to hug me, cling on to me. I took her downstairs to do her bottle and make my lunch for Work. She wouldn’t be put down. Normally she will sit on the sofa watching teletubbies. I’d make her bottle and she’d drink it whilst I make my lunch. Not today. Today she wanted to be near me. So I ended up having her sat on the kitchen worktop whilst I made my sandwiches next to her. She had her bottle in the car in the end. I went to work and my mom drove her to Nursery.

The nursery called me at 2:30 to ask if Scarlett was able to have her face painted, due to her eczema. I said she should be fine. So they painted her face and I was sent some pictures on Tapestry to view. She looked cute!

We managed to get to the station for 10 last 5. But we missed the 5:15 train. We got on the 5:30 train but it had an extra change. It had a change at Woking as well as Clapham. Which is fine. We got off at 6:45. Scarlett didn’t need dinner so Brett bathed her and I did her bottle. She went to bed at 8:15ish. She was flat out. We ate our dinner. We had fish and chips. Well I had saveloy as I don’t like fish. It was nice.

I went into Bretts bedroom to get ready for bed. I flicked the lamp on low because unlike my house, Scarlett has to share Brett’s room. I went to take my jeans off and kicked his weights that’s on the floor. I knew I couldn’t make a sound. Instead I just stood there glaring angrily at myself in his mirror waiting for the throbbing pain to subside. I’ve checked the damage and it doesn’t look like it’s done much. If it’ll bruise, it’ll come out tomorrow. So we’ll see. Can’t believe it did.

Scarlett snoring. Brett’s faffing then he’ll be coming to bed. I’m so tired and I’ve got this pain in my head that won’t go away.

TTFN x

Wednesday, again.

Monday I woke up with a headache, still. Work was busy. I was locked out of the database when I got in to work. So I had to phone IT and get that sorted. Had to catch up on all of the things from Friday I had uploaded. Brett and I had a row. He is now not talking to me so I am in for one quiet week #goals

Tuesday our new temp started. She was told to come in at 9am on her first day. This was to give us an hour to make sure everything was up-to-date and working for her. But she was told 8am by her agency so she showed up too early. Her laptop was suppose to be up and running but it wasn’t. IT had crashed the day before so they must’ve spent all day fixing that instead. So she had no access to the internet so she was unable to sign into Maximo nor use her emails nor use our shared drive. It was ridiculous. I watched Lucifer on my lunch break and Once upon a time before watching Bridget Jones’ Baby in bed.

Today I just did not want to get up. I just feel so mentally drained. I really need to find a new job. There is a potential role in Camberley. The guy sent my CV over to the client so we’ll see what happens.

I got the photo’s back over the weekend from Scarlett’s Milk and Cookies shoot. Above is just a few favourites for a sneak peak.

Tonight I am going to put Scarlett to bed then have a nice hot shower and then catch up with Doc Martin at 9pm. I have just still got a headache and it’s doing my head in [excuse the pun].

TTFN x

Hump day today

Monday:

Woke up late. Alarm was meant to wake me at 6:30am. Nope. I switched it off apparently and rolled out of bed at 6:55am. Oops. It meant we didn’t have time to cook breakfast so we had to swing by McDonald’s for our usual. I made it to work on time though, so that is good. Scarlett is always so tired after her full day session at nursery on Mondays [and Fridays]. She went to bed at 7 and I caught up on NCIS. I am almost done with season 6. I have been watching them sequentially since season 2. I love it. I don’t know why I am obsessed lol I finished reading my book, Limitless. It is part of the “Girl in the box” series I was reading. The author created a follow series called “out of the box” so that is what I am reading now. I purchased the second book in the OOTB series so I will start that this week.

Tuesday:

Scarlett was really grumpy when I got in from work. She had just a vest and shoes on. Apparently she had been out in my Nan’s garden all afternoon. She had done a nasty poo so I shoved her straight in the bath. Usually she goes up for a bath at 6. But made no sense to waste a clean nappy for 45 minutes. Might as well bath her straight away. So in she went. She was really snotty and she picked her nose and made it bleed. I gave her some dinner with a cup of tea [she loves her tea]. Then we watched some teletubbies. At 6:30 she was whinging for bed so she said goodbye to my mom, as she was leaving for work anyway. and I took her up to bed with a bottle. She drank it and I said goodnight and left her to it. She rolled around getting comfy, sat and played with her TedTed for a bit then she laid down and went to sleep. She is a funny little thing sometimes.

I had my dinner at 8ish and waited for my Amazon Prime Now delivery [we had run out of a few things and neither of us have chance to go near a shop in the week]. I watched more NCIS catch up and am now on season 7. My delivery came at almost 10pm. I watched the season finale of Shades of Blue then I got into bed. I couldn’t sleep though and ended up laying in bed until about 2am.

Wednesday:

I am so damn tired. I heard Scarlett coughing in the night a few times. I did get up at 6:45 though. And I managed to dress myself and Scarlett, brush my teeth and cook sausages for breakfast before my mom got home at 7:10. So #winning

I booked an appointment at my doctors because I found a lump somewhere. It is probably a cyst but always worth getting it checked!

Wednesdays mean one thing: Pretty Little Liars. So that is what I am about to watch on my lunch break today. Only thing that has kept me going today lol so tired!

TTFN