Moving Day is T-Minus 2 Days

Monday I woke up at 7:15 instead of 6:30. Not a great start to my day however I did actually manage to arrive at work on time. Scarlett was miserable when I got in the car at 5pm. She was just so whingy so she went to bed dead on 7pm. I had some dinner and mom and I watched some TV. I came up to bed later and folded up some of Scarlett’s clothes and packed them in a box. I have lots more to throw in so I’ve left the box open for now.

Tuesday I got to work on time. It was a busy morning but a slow afternoon. I hate that. But I was up-to-date with everything and all my emails were filed so that’s good. Scarlett was a bit happier but she’s still a bit grumpy. Her nose is runny and she coughed a bit in the night.

Today [Wednesday] Mom is training at work so she’s out all day and my Grandad will look after Scarlett when my Nan goes to work at 5 if my mom isn’t back to pick her up. She says she will pick her up ASAP then come home. It may be before my her friend drives me home. She works in my company, in a different department and she finishes at 5:30 so on Wednesday’s she drives me home. I stay in my office till 5:30. So today she is taking me home. I finished book 7 of the DI Dixon series. Number 8 comes out in May so I have pre-ordered this. I read another book and now onto book 9 of the year. Not bad for only being in the 3rd month of the year.

16 years today since my uncle passed away. He was only 20 when he committed suicide. I try not to talk in too much depth about my family. For their privacy, respecting that they won’t want their lives all over the internet so I don’t think I’ve ever mentioned him before. Maybe I have. He was very troubled, drugs and running away from home as a teenager. He had mental health problems and eventually it lead him to jumping in front of a train, March 21st 2002. He may be gone but he’s certainly not forgotten. We shall visit his grave tomorrow [during lunch] and I always say Hi.



It’s bloody snowing again!

Friday Scarlett and I got home and I put her in the bath. Then once she was dressed we wrapped up and walked to my nans house. My grandparents were having a takeaway. I hadn’t eaten so I left Scarlett with my Nan and hopped in the car with my Grandad to pick the food up. We ate at 7:30ish then Ernie and Debbie turned up like usual for a cup of tea. My Nan dropped us home at 10ish. Scarlett had her milk and was in bed by 10:30. I watched some TV then climbed into bed.

Saturday I set an alarm so we wouldn’t lay in too much otherwise it throws our weekend early rise routine out of the window. I turned it off and we woke up at almost 10. We had breakfast, we shared some porridge. My mom’s friend came round at 12ish. Scarlett was napping. When she woke up we went to Big Yellow Storage to pick up my boxes then we went to Sainsbury’s so I could get some food for Work next week. One of my brother’s friends had helped himself to my fucking salami. I went to have some in my wrap for lunch before we went out and there was no salami. Pisstake!

After the shops we swung by my nans house for a cuppa. She had said she was finally getting her kitchen redone so to avoid coming round as it’ll be hectic. No one listened as there was 14 of us at one point. We didn’t stay too long. We left at 5ish. Scarlett had some dinner at 6ish then we went up and got in the bath. She went to bed at 8. Mom and I sorted dinner. We had pizza and I made some cheesy garlic bread. We watched The Disappearance episode from this week then we put on a film on Netflix. We watched No Good Deed.

I was up till late talking to Brett. Which is fine as I knew Scarlett would lay in.

Today she woke up at 8:30. We got out of bed at 9. We had toast and she had some fruit. We started watching The BFG then mom got up and said she was walking round my nans as my Grandad was due to pick my cousin up and needed her as he wasn’t sure where he was going. So we got dressed and accompanied her. It’s very cold due to the bastard snow we had yesterday. It snowed all day and only stopped in the night. We’ve had 2 inches. However it’s not staying and a lot of it’s melting already.

We walked home and I put Scarlett down for a nap. She’s still asleep now. Mom is cooking dinner and I’ve just finished boxing up all my DVDs and some of my books. I’ve hit my Fitbit target just from throwing all my DVDs on my bed and sorting them into boxes. I must have about 200+ DVDs.

5 days till moving day! Excited but also anxious over how much stuff I’ve actually got to box/bag up to move!


Moving Day in 1 week!

Wednesday I posted before I learned that Stephen Hawking had passed away. He was a truly amazing and inspiring man. I must admit, I didn’t know a lot about him for a lot of my life. But I was aware he suffered from Motor Neurone Disease after being diagnosed with it when he was just 21. After watching the film about his life, “The Theory of Everything” I understood more about him, his condition and what he had achieved. He was one of the most brilliant minds and it will be a sad loss to our world. But he made it to 76 years of age, which considering he was given only 2 years to live in 1963. He made it to 2018. “So remember, look at the stars and not at your feet.”

Thursday was long. I was full on bleeding now. My period is not due for another 10 days so it’s taken me by surprise. Also, I hate periods. I hate that women have to have them. I mean, I went through the agony of having the coil placed so it would stop getting the bastards. Did it work? Did it fuck! I started watching iZombie as season 4 is now on Netflix. I didn’t want to binge though so I went up to bed at 9:30 and finished reading my book. I’ve read 7 books in the last 2 weeks from this DI Dixon series. I am itching for number 8 but it’s not out till May so have pre-ordered and will have to wait. I went to bed at 11:30.

Friday [today] I woke up to even more blood, if that’s even possible! I swear I will probably pass out at some point. I mean I have been knackered all week as it is so this won’t help. This weekend we [me and Mom] are going to blitz my room of junk, old clothes and god know’s what else. Then we’ll do the same to Scarlett’s room. All in preparation of the move next week. I got the email to confirm the deposit has gone through and what I need to do next week. I have to go to the Aldershot office to sign the tenancy agreement then I can check-in the property at 10. I am so excited! But also anxious of the actual move. All my possessions seem to be all over my house. Which makes sense as I’ve accumulated 23 years worth of crap in that house. Wish us luck!


Mother’s Day 2018

Friday Brett came down at 9ish. We were at my Nan’s do he got dropped there. He had gotten a card from Scarlett to me for Mother’s Day. I didn’t expect that. He wrote it in the dining room and had her draw on it for me. It was very thoughtful. He also got my a dvd from her too. La la land.

We got home and put Scarlett to bed. We laid in bed chatting for hours. Eventually we went to sleep.

Saturday Scarlett woke up at 8ish. I picked her up from the cot and changed her nappy then I took her into my bedroom to wake up Brett. To his credit, he did get up. We all went downstairs and I made breakfast. We watched Postman Pat the movie then we took Scarlett up for a nap. I had a headache so I laid down on my bed whilst she was asleep. It helped.

When she woke up we all got dressed then my mom took her in the car to town and me and Brett got the bus. We couldn’t fit all of us in the car as my brother and his girlfriend were coming to the shop as well. We met up with them in ASDA. Brett and I primarily went to get my microwave. He agreed he’d buy me one and he’s stuck by that, even post-breakup. I picked a nice little white one and then mom put it in her car.

My mom had gotten me some flowers from Scarlett. Once they’d gone through the checkout she gave them to her to give me.

We took Scarlett and went into town for lunch. She didn’t want to sit in the “baby seat”. She wanted to sit on the chair next to “daddy” to eat her lunch. After we ate we headed to my nan’s. We stayed for a cup of tea and ended up having dinner. I just about managed to eat some but Brett isn’t a huge eater and his lunch had finished him off so we wrapped it up and brought it home.

He packed his stuff up whilst I bathed Scarlett then my nan picked him up and dropped him at the station for 8. I put Scarlett to bed then I caught up with some TV before heading to bed.

Today is Mother’s Day. My mom’s away. She’s at her boyfriends. My Nan is out for dinner so it’s just me and Scarlett. Except it’s never just us in the house. God I can’t wait to move!

She woke up at 8:30. We had porridge then we watched Brave in bed whilst doing puzzles. At 11am I put her down for a nap. She woke up at 1:30. We got dressed and headed to my nan’s. She had said if we wanted some space then we were welcome to go to hers whilst she was out. So we did. I cooked our dinner. We had steak pie and chips. We watched teletubbies, played games, coloured lots. Overall just spent the day together. Which was lovely but I was a bit irked that no one wanted to make it special given that it’s my last Mother’s Day living at my mom’s house. But whatevs!

I caught Scarlett standing on my nans windowsill looking out at the kids playing outside. She wanted to join in. But she’s just too little. Maybe next year.

My grandparents got home and we had a cup of tea. Scarlett helped feed Marley, like usual. She loves being helpful. She knows the routine and doesn’t need much prompting, my clever bean!

My nan dropped us home at 6:30. We got straight in the bath. Scarlett loves it when we share a bath but I don’t do it often as it’s harder work than if I just bath her quick then get her dressed lol we came downstairs to watch some dancing on ice as she loves it. We spoke to Brett then I took her up at 8:15. She cried so I had to go back up for cuddles then she went to sleep. Haven’t heard a peep since!

I started watching a film on my iPad but got distracted then it was too late to watch the rest so I’ll watch it another day.

Work tomorrow. Hope it’s not a stressful day. Got enough stresses in my head with this move!


P.S. 11 days till moving day!!!!

International Women’s Day 2018

Wednesday I got to work for 8. By 10 my eye was so bad I couldn’t see. My managers were in a meeting so I left an email and a text to say I was off home and then I left. When I got in I cleaned my eye out, I took more antihistamines and then climbed into bed with a wet flannel on my face. I fell asleep and woke up at lunch time. I ate some lunch then I laid back in bed waiting for the scratchy feeling and throbbing pain [and leaky water] to subside. It didn’t that much.

Thursday I stayed home again. My manager didn’t seem pleased but what could I do. My eye was still so bad. So I went back to bed after I sent Scarlett off to Nursery. I got up at 1:30. I didn’t bother with lunch. I went to my Nan’s. Scarlett was napping. Once she was up, she had dinner then we headed home. I watched some TV then I laid in a nice hot bath reading my book. I caught up with the season finale of Requiem. Two episodes instead of 1. It was a really strange ending. Scarlett woke up at midnight when I had just laid down to sleep. Typical. She was cute though. She thinks it’s exciting laying in my bed. She snuggles right up under my duvet. I put her back in her cot at 1am. Then finished reading my book. That is 6 books in the space of 2 weeks.

International Women’s Day 2018. As a mother of a daughter all I posted on Insta was “she may be small, but she is mighty“. I’ve heard it somewhere before but I can’t think where. It just sounded appropriate. I aim to raise my girl to be strong, independent and fierce. But also kind, loyal and determined. She’s very stubborn so I look forward [not] to her teen years. The terrible twos have already started [save me]!!!

Today I got up at 7. Got dressed then got Scarlett dressed. We brushed our teeth then I did her breakfast. I wasn’t hungry. I left at 7:45 for work. I’ve had a headache all day and my eye are been scratchy still because the heater was on and it kept drying my eye out. To be honest the heater didn’t need to be on, I was getting ready hot. The weather outside is dreary but not cold. I actually felt sick at one point.

Brett is coming down tonight. He is staying over and going home tomorrow evening. He wants to spend some time with Scarlett. I genuinely don’t know what is the best course of action. I am the reason they have a bond in the first place so I don’t feel it’s right or fair of me to rip them apart. At the same time, I’m not sure how appropriate or healthy it is for her to keep seeing him as “Daddy”. At the end of the day, he’s not her dad. And it’s not like we’ve been together years and have other children. It’s not been 2 years and it’s just her. Honestly, who knew navigating dating whilst a single parent was so damn tricky! I swear I am not going near anyone else. This has put me off for life!


P.S. move in day is in T-Minus 14 days!

How is it March?

Monday wasn’t as bad as I expected. The problem being home extra days with Scarlett is sometimes it’s hard to return to work. But I must admit, I thrive on routine so going back to work was fine. She woke up by herself instead of me waking her so she was happy as larry. She had some toast whilst I made my lunch then I headed out after my Nan turned up.

Wasn’t surprised by my lack of emails when I got in. I had kept up with them till Friday afternoon and no one typically works a weekend so nada! They picked up a bit as the day went on.

I decided that today was the day I would tell Brett I wanted to finish with him. It’s not that I don’t love him, it’s just we are two very different people than we were 2 years ago. A lot has changed, for me personally, and when we split in December it was for a number of reasons. And these reasons have not changed. Obviously he is hurt. He doesn’t want this. He thinks we can figure it out. But he’s trying to accept my decision. He wants to remain friends for Scarlett’s sake and right now I see no reason why we can’t.

Scarlett had a good day at Nursery but it was her first day back after 4 days off and it was a long session so it wiped her out. She was a bit grumpy. She cheered up when she FaceTimed Brett. I put her in the bath then did her milk. I put her to bed at 7:15 but she didn’t settle even after we’d watched some TV and had dinner so I went up and climbed in her cot. Where my eyes are sore and watery, she thought I was crying. She rubbed my face and said “no cry mama”. Then she slipped her arms around my neck and gave me lots of cuddles. Plus some kisses. Which she actually named before she did it. She is growing too quickly! But I love it.

I climbed back out of her cot and she went to sleep. I guess she just needed some 1-to-1 time with me. I watched TV with mom then we went up to bed at like 11ish. My eye was proper throbbing and watering so badly.

Today my eye was glued shut when I woke up. I slept alright but my head still hurt a little. My mom heard Scarlett and as she was dressed before me said she’d get her up. But Scarlett wouldn’t get dressed until she had seen me. She was checking I was alright, bless her! I made my lunch then we left. We dropped her at my Nan’s then mom dropped me at work. I feel really cold today. Like I can’t get warm. I’ve had my heater on most of the day, only occasionally turning it off.

I called my doctor’s surgery earlier for a telephone appointment. I don’t know if some of my symptoms are normal for my coil. So the doc called back and said she wants the doctor who fitted it in May to see me. She will probably check it’s still in the right place. They may even have to do a blood test to check my hormone levels. We’ll see.

I am on lunch break now. Just going to watch Lucifer whilst I eat.


It’s finally stopped snowing!

Yesterday it was snowing when we left my Nan’s house just after 5ish. It finally stopped at like 6:30. Everywhere was covered in snow still. I was pleased it had stopped. As much as it’s pretty to look at, it’s not practical!

Scarlett went to bed at 8ish. We had some dinner. We had sausage and mash. We were meant to have schnitzels but mom forgot to check we had breadcrumbs so she had to put them in the fridge and do sausages instead.

I was wide awake all night watching some TV. I couldn’t sleep. I think it was the coke I drank. I fell asleep about 6am and woke up at 9ish.

Today Scarlett woke about 9ish. She was singing so I left her till 9:30 then I took her downstairs. We had some breakfast then mom watched her whilst I showered. We got dressed then we went to my Nan’s house. She was cooking pies for everyone to take home. At 2ish I did Scarlett and everyone else some lunch then I put her down for a nap at 3:15. She slept till 5:30 then we walked home. She walked pretty much the whole way except for 2 minutes between one end of the park and the other, near the bridge. Which is fine. She did so well!!!

She had her schnitzel before we did as I wanted her in bed. She ate, had a bath then went to bed at 8. We ate then mom got ready for work. She left and so did her boyfriend. He headed home. I watched the latest episode of Requiem. Not entirely sure what’s even happening on it now. It’s confusing and weird!

I headed up to bed at 10 (half hour ago). Was going to watch a film but I’ve had a headache ALL DAMN DAY. So I’ll read instead and get an early night. I’m quite tired. We’ve had rain today, not snow. So a lot of the snow is gone and it’s much more drivable. At this rate I’ll 100% be back in the office Monday.


P.s. 20 days till MOVING DAY!!!