A very crazy week

Sunday we woke up at 9:30. Decided to skip breakfast. Brett and I got dressed then hopped on a bus to my Nan’s house. Scarlett gave no shits about the fact we’d been away from her (typical kids). We had a nice dinner then at 2:30 my dad picked her up and took her. Brett and I went home for a few hours. Then he packed his stuff and he went back home. I did some washing then I watched some TV.

Monday I went to work. I had a busy day catching up on stuff. I try to keep my inbox down but sometimes I come in to lots of emails. It was weird without Scarlett when I got in but I was alright this time. I had my dinner, had a shower and started reading my book again. Haven’t picked it up in 2 months!!!

Tuesday I had work like usual. Scarlett was dropped to my nans at lunch time. Mom picked me up like usual and Scarlett was in the back in her car seat. Asleep. I didn’t get a hello mama till we got home.

Wednesday I had a headache. Which got worse as the day went on but I soldiered on. It was my turn to host our Wednesday natter with my mom and her friend.

Thursday I woke up with a banging headache. I felt nauseous. I text my manager to say I was unwell and then once Scarlett had left for nursery I crawled back in bed. I slept till 1pm. Then I dozed till 3pm. Which isn’t like me. I went with my mom to pick Scarlett up from my nans as I needed the fresh air.

Friday I went to work. And it all kicked off. I missed a lot as it happened the day before. But it leaked into Friday. Ended up in a meeting for an hour for those involved to try and resolve the tensions. Was bare awkward for those of us who weren’t involved. We had a party in the afternoon with nibbles and fizzy drinks. It was nice. We left at 4. Mom and I picked Scarlett up then we went home.

Scarlett and I had a bath then we braved the rain and walked to moms for a few hours. We left at 9 and Brett got to mine not long after we did. He put Scarlett to bed then we had dinner. We watched a film then climbed into bed.

Saturday we woke up at 7:30. Scarlett got in the bed with us. Brett did their breakfast whilst I went grocery shopping. At 2ish we walked to my nans house to let the dog out as my grandparents were out all day. We stayed a few hours. I fed her some dinner at 5ish. Then we left at 6. I cooked us steak pie for dinner then Scarlett had a bath. She went to bed at 9ish.

We watched some prison break then we got into bed. We ended up chatting till almost 2. It was the best!

Today we didn’t wake till almost 10. What a great lay-in. Scarlett watched some Frozen in bed after she had her breakfast. I had a shower whilst they watched TV. Mom and her boyfriend came round for a cuppa then we all headed to my nans for Sunday dinner. We had a good day. We headed home at 6. Scarlett and Brett had a bath whilst I sorted out the washing in my bedroom and put it away. We had some supper but I noticed my toilet flusher wasn’t working again. So Brett tried to sort it out. In the end I asked my mom and Mark to pop in. Mark managed to put it all back together. Thankfully. They left and Scarlett went to bed.

Brett and I are watching prison break. It’s nice to have an extra day together. He didn’t have to rush home today. We get to spend another night and most of tomorrow!!!


Ps. We got to Corfu in 30 days! It was paid off today. So now it’s just spending money and packing to do lol


27 feels good

Today we woke up to Scarlett jumping on the bed. I had left her gate open so she could come in and surprise us. We heard her singing long before she ventured out of her room lol

Brett took her to have breakfast whilst I laid in bed. I could hear her asking to watch Frozen (big surprise lol)

She came in and handed me some birthday cards and a present. She had got me this lovely little perfume and hand cream set. It smelled lush! After presents (and a cup of tea) we watched Frozen together then I packed her a bag for Nanny’s house and a separate bag for my Dad’s house (she’s staying at his Sunday to Tuesday). We all got dressed then walked to my Nan’s for lunch.

My Nan gave me my birthday gift which was this lush Harry Potter messenger-type bag. It was brilliant. We ate lunch then Brett and I left.

We went into town. We checked into the hotel then we went to the shops. He bought me some makeup as I have none. We picked up some Asti for later then we stopped for a game of ping pong. There’s this new place in town that lets you play for free. We had a right laugh. I am absolutely shit at it. I was whacking it at the wall. I couldn’t quite grasp the concept of just tapping it lol

We went back to the hotel to chill and Brett finally gave me my present. He’d bought me a new engagement ring. When he proposed last year he’d let me pick a ring and I’d gone for this really simple (and cheap) one and he kind of hated that I’d forced him to only spend like £100 on an engagement ring. He’d always said he’d buy me a “proper” one. I always laughed and said yeah ok I’m not fussed, I like my ring. Well I do. I will always love it because it’s the first one he gave me. But OMG did the boy do good! See the below!!!!

He had a bath whilst I got my makeup on and did my hair. We left for dinner at 7:30. We went to Wetherspoons across the road. I had steak. The steak was ok but there was a lot of fat on it. Very chewy lol we had a pitcher of Woo Woo between us then at 9 we went to the cinema.

We watched The Equalizer 2. It’s a good movie. I do love Denzel in that type of role. Kicking ass lol

We came out the cinema at 11:30 and walked back to the hotel. Now we’re just chilling.

I’ve had a fab birthday. I’ve spent it with the people I love. I do miss Scarlett but she’s had a blast at nanny’s house. And tomorrow we’ll wake, shower, eat and go see her as we’re having Sunday roast at my nans house.

I think 27 will be the best year yet!


Birthday in T-minus 1 day

Today (Friday) I woke up at 7:30. Got dress. Woke Scarlett up. Dressed her. We brushed our teeth then I did her breakfast then my Nan picked us up.

  • I dropped Scarlett at nursery for the first time in ages. Then we went to town. My cousin and I had breakfast. Then at 9 we went to the hair salon as I wanted a haircut. I got seen straight away. I had 1-2 inches removed. And it was thinned out then layered. Perfect! We wandered the shops then we got the bus back to my nans house. I walked to my moms from there and helped her sort her dining room out.
  • We left at 3 to go to my nans. We had a late lunch and a cup of tea then we hit Morrison’s for groceries. We swung by the nursery to pickup Scarlett then we went home.
  • Scarlett wanted to watch Moana instead of Frozen for a change so we watched that then I ran a bath. I had planned to just wash off the excess hair from myself and have a proper shower later. I changed my mind and was mid shampoo when I went to grab the conditioner and this big fucking spider was lurking behind. I swear my heart fell out my arsehole. I practically climbed over Scarlett to get out. She then started hyperventilating because she realised why I’d got out. I quickly wrapped a towel round myself and grabbed her out.
  • We dried and got dressed. We watched emmerdale and she helped me put my letters on my light box (which I’d finally picked up from moms house). We had a snack. She brushed my hair and gave me a massage (which is her just rubbing my back).
  • I put mine and Brett’s dinner on at 9ish. He got to mine just before half 9. Scatlett was pleased to see him but even more pleased he’d brought her new frozen dvd with him lol he put her to bed then we ate dinner. We had a nice couple of hours and now we’re in bed. He’s flat out snoring and I’m laid here looking at the clock. It’s 11:55. It’ll be midnight soon and officially be my birthday! Although I wasn’t born till 05:03!
  • 27 tomorrow. 27. Tomorrow. Wtf! Time flies when you’re having fun…
  • TTFN x
  • Countdown continues: 2 days

    Monday was busy. Scarlett is proper into frozen. She sat in her bed watching it on my iPad. She doesn’t have it on DVD otherwise I’d have let her watch it on her little TV (it has no aerial just a DVD player). She loved it. 2 hours she sits in bed with it. Then when it’s done she yells for me. If it’s before 8:30 I let her out to sit with me and we have a little snuggle. Read a book etc. She goes to bed at 9.

    Tuesday was fine. Same routine as usual. I had a bad headache almost all day. No tablets in my drawer at work so had to suffer on. Scarlett is usually really good for me if I say I’ve got a bad head. But she was a nightmare. She kept doing things she wasn’t meant to. Jumping on the sofa. Running at me on the sofa. Twice she banging her head on mine. Which did not help. I yelled at her too much. We had a bath together. She went to bed after snuggles (headache had gone by then)

    Wednesday (yesterday) was slow at work. I had stuff to do but the day just dragged along. I had lunch with my pal from my old office (next door). We had a natter. Was nice to do something different. Brett had to go up A&E because he cut his hand badly at work. So he had to get it seen to. Luckily it wasn’t as bad as it first looked and he didn’t need stitches.

    We spend a couple of hours at moms as it’s Wednesday and her friend pops in for a chat. We take turns hosting. It was moms turn. Scarlett got a bit overexcited seeing Wendy, and moms cat. She didn’t go to sleep till almost 10!!!

    Had to get my brother round at like 10ish. The spider fucked off before he got there so he opened my lounge cupboard and some big ass motherfucker of a spider was just in there casually. So he got rid of that. So now I’m on spider watch for the other one till it shows up again!

    Today was much the same. Busy but slow. I couldn’t wait to put my out of office on and clock out at 5:30. I’m now off all weekend. I mean I don’t work weekends anyway. But I do work Fridays. But I’m off tomorrow. Yay!

    I’m going to get my haircut. It needs it. Haven’t had it cut in 6 months or more. Then I’m going to go food shopping. I haven’t got much money but I need to buy stuff to tide me over till payday.

    In 2 days I will be 27! 2 days. That went quick!!!

    TTFN x

    A very quiet weekend

    Friday I went to work. I did lots of things I’d never done before. I was praised for doing so well in such a short space of time and that made me feel good. It rained on/off all day but I don’t mind the rain. We left work late as we had a last minute meeting at 5:15.

    Scarlett wanted to watch a film in bed. Frozen. Obviously. So I put it on my iPad and she watched it whilst I ate my dinner. When it got late I turned it off and she went to bed.

    Saturday she woke up at 9:15. We ate breakfast. We had cereal. She then picked up both bowls, and spoons and asked me if I was finished. I said yes baby. So she took both bowls and spoons out into the kitchen and put them in the sink (she throws them, which is why I mostly own plastic lol). She’s so helpful!!

    We walked round to my nans house for lunch. We ate then my grandad ran me up the shops so I could buy groceries. Nan lent me some money for it as money has been tight the last couple of months. I got stung with 2 payments of council tax in July as they failed to collect in June as the direct debt had an issue even though I set it properly. So they took two lots in July then we were away so it’s just been hard getting back to normal.

    After shopping we stayed at nans for dinner. Scarlett and my cousin T went upstairs to watch a film. When I went up to get her for dinner they were both laid on the bed asleep. I left them to it and woke Scarlett up about half hour later. She did eat her dinner then we got dropped at my moms. We had a cup of tea and terrorised my moms boyfriend. Scarlett loves him. She doesn’t leave him alone lol

    She went to bed at 10ish. I went to check on her about 10 minutes later and she’d got the tub of sudocrem and it was just everywhere (see pic). She was not having a bath at that time so I used her vest to wipe it off as best I could then I just wiped her bedding and told her to go to sleep. She’s a nightmare lol but I love her anyway!

    Sunday we didn’t wake till gone 10. I’m really very lucky. I’ve never been one of them parents who’s kid has them up at the crack of dawn. I bathed her quickly to get rid of the residue from the sudocrem. We had breakfast on the go as mom was picking us up. We went to visit my Nan in the old folks home. First time I’ve seen her since she broke her hip at the end of June. I saw her in hospital and she looked awful. But today she looked better. More herself. As much of herself she can be with her dementia being what it is. She asked me why I was so fat. I said it because I eat all my dinner, and everyone else’s. She laughed. Good job I’m not sensitive about my weight lol

    We left just after 12 as she was due to have lunch soon. We went to nans for dinner. We at 2ish then at 3ish I put Scarlett down for a nap. She slept till gone 5! When she woke she helped grandad feed Marley then she had her piece of Victoria sponge cake. We’d had ours. It was lovely. I’m not a massive fan of cake but I did enjoy it. Nan made it.

    We got dropped home at 6:15. Scarlett had already had a bath so I put her in her bed with frozen (she asked) then I had a lovely soak in the bath. I had put washing on and it had finished when I got out so I must’ve been in there about an hour and 50 minutes. It was lush. I don’t get to bath like that often.

    When I was dressed Scarlett came and sat with me. Frozen was finished by then. She said she was hungry so we had a sandwich then I put her to bed at 9. I watched some TV and now I’m in bed.

    My eyes have been playing up a lot today. They’re itchy and gunky. I hate hay fever. I hate dust. I hate the lack of control I have over this!

    It’s my birthday on Saturday. I’m going to be 27. I don’t feel 27. When I think of 27 I think of grown ups who have high powered jobs, drive expensive cars and have 3 holidays a year. Not me. I feel 18 lol which is weird because I have my own place, with a child and I work full time. So I should feel grown up…

    Will get my haircut Friday as a birthday treat. It needs it. I haven’t had my haircut since Christmas I think.

    TTFN x

    Baby is home

    Tuesday I woke up fine. I actually slept okay. Surprisingly. I think my mini meltdown the day before helped me relax. I still missed her, obviously, but I was almost at peace with her being away from me. Work was busy. I love it and hate it. Love it because the day flies by. Hate it because it boggles my brain a lot. I tidied my lounge, hoovered up the flat and did 2 loads of washing after stripping our beds. We had fresh bedding on. It was lush!

    Wednesday was the day she was coming home. I had a busy day at work then I practically skipped home. Mom stayed for a cuppa. Secretly I think she wanted to see Scarlett. She arrived at 7ish. Brett’s parents had a cup of tea and Brett fell asleep on Scarlett’s bed. She found that highly amusing, bless her. After they left I did Scarlett’s bath and cooked my dinner. She didn’t go to sleep till 9:30.

    Thursday (today) I got up at 7:30. But later than usual. Woke Scarlett up. She didn’t want to get up. She was very upset. That’s my bad for the 9:30 bedtime. She’ll be fine. We got dressed then brushed our teeth. I was doing her breakfast when my Nan turned up at 7:45. I made my lunch then I left for work. I had a really busy day. I watched another episode of this new series, Bloodlines, that I’m watching. It’s got 3 seasons on Netflix so I’ve got some watching to do. I’m trying to read again. I haven’t picked up my book in over a month. I like the story I’m reading. I just haven’t had chance to sit and read. My goal is still 30 books this year and I’m on book 16 I think so that’s good.

    It’s my birthday in 9 days !!!!!!! Brett is taking me away for the night for drinks, food and bowling or cinema. We’re not going far and Scarlett will be at my nans’s I think. I’m going to get my haircut next Friday as I’m off work. So I’ll have the opportunity to actually go and do it. I can’t believe I’m going to be 27. I don’t feel 27. Like I still feel like I’m only 20/21. I don’t feel like I’m nearly 30. I mean yes I have my own place now and that’s quite grown up, paying proper bills and rent. Making sure my fridge is stocked and making sure I put my bins out each week. But I still feel like a teenager lol although, that said, I don’t want to go and get smashed on the weekends. So perhaps I’m normal for my age.

    27 here I come!!

    TTFN x

    I’m not okay but that’s okay

    Thursday we did watch Moana. Scarlett had a nap then we went to ASDA. I tried to find a new pair of sunglasses but they didn’t have any. Or at least I didn’t find any! I packed our stuff for Brett’s house as well as Scarlett’s extra bits for her little sleepover.

    Friday we got up and got ready. I had a long day of catching up at work on emails. I did manage to whittle my inbox down to like 5 emails so that’s good.

    We managed to get on the 6pm train so we got off at Hackbridge just before 7. We had dinner then Scarlett had a bath. She didn’t settle till about 10. Late for her but it’s a Friday night so can’t moan. I had a headache and felt so tired so I went and climbed into bed earlier than usual.

    Saturday she woke up at 8ish. I did her some breakfast. She asked to watch Ana (frozen) so we put that on. When she was dressed we went shopping. I managed to pick up some sunglasses in Sainsbury’s. They are not half bad.

    When we got back Brett’s family turned up. It was his brother’s birthday so people popped in to say Happy Birthday etc. Scarlett handed Scott all his cards for him to open. She enjoyed being the postman lol

    We had some dinner then she had a bath. Managed to get her in bed for about 9ish. We were going to watch a film but I had a headache still and I said I just wanted to chill. I ended up going to sleep at half 10. I’m never in bed asleep so early. Must’ve needed it.

    Sunday Brett got up with her at 9. He let me sleep. I slept till 11. Woke up, headache still there. We chilled. She went shopping with his mom and brother. We had a BBQ at half 3. I got on the train at 6.

    I got on the train by myself. No Scarlett. I didn’t want to admit it but I didn’t wanna go alone. I felt sick the entire day and the journey home. It didn’t feel right being without her. More so because I knew I had a further 2.5 days without her. But I sucked it up and went home.

    I slept awfully. I woke up and forgot she wasn’t there. I’m not okay! I struggled all day because I knew when I got home she’s not be there. I never realised I’d feel like this. She’s slept overnight on the odd occasion. And I was ok. But it’s not a habit. I’m not use to her being away from me. I just felt off all day. Barely ate. Just worked and came home. She had a good day at Godstone Farm so at least that’s something. I had a meltdown on FaceTime about it. I feel better having said how I feel. It won’t change anything because I know she’s fine, I know she’s having fun so she isn’t coming home early because that’s silly. And selfish on my part as she’s not worried about being away from me. But I do feel better. Mostly because I know that it’s okay to not to be okay. It’s normal. She’s always been next to me and now for 3 days she’s over an hour away. It’s scary. And I’ll probably not sleep well tonight either. But I’m okay!

    TTFN x