Terrorised by a damn spider!

Tuesday I was knackered. No idea why. I filmed Scarlett singing/talking at home. I have to be sneaky otherwise she clocks the phone and shuts up! She didn’t go to sleep until gone 9, again. It’s become habit I think. I don’t even care as she’s not really any trouble. But I worry she’s not getting enough sleep. She has been a tad aggy when I wake her in the mornings.

Wednesday I had my blood test. Mom doesn’t usually work Tuesday nights but she agreed to help them out as they were short staffed. And she had forgotten about my prearranged blood test. So bless her she had to get up from her sleep at half 11 to pick me up and take me to the doctor’s. Thankfully it only took 5 minutes and then I treated her to lunch on the way back to the office. I will get the results on Monday.

Later I was told that Scarlett had had a meltdown at Nursery because a fly had landed on her arm. My mom said it was down to me and my “irrational fears” of bugs. Not entirely true. Yes I do have a fear of bugs, wasps and spiders. However I have tried so desperately hard not to project these fears outwardly when Scarlett is around. I do not want her to have fears for no reason [although IMO there are good reasons to fear them]. So I know she hasn’t “copied” me when it comes to flies. Plus I don’t actually have an issue with flies, except their buzzing is annoying.

Scarlett lost one of her earrings. No one idea where. I searched the flat but I can’t find it anywhere. Must’ve come off at Nursery/Nan’s house. As she’s only had them pierced 8 months they will close up. So I ordered her 2 sets of 3 pairs and Nan said she’d pick them up the next day and put a pair in her ears for me. I put her to bed at 7:30. She fell asleep but woke up at midnight as I checked her before I went to sleep and she was soaking wet. I changed her and she was still asleep. But she woke as I crept out of her room. Go figure! So she ended up in my bed. We slept ok, considering.

Today we woke up at 7ish. We were running late and had only just started eating breakfast when my Nan showed up. My mom called to say she was running late as she got stuck at work. She picked me up at 8ish and I was 15 minutes late to work. My dad was down, locally, so he said we should meet up. So he picked me up at 12 and we went to costa. I had a hot chocolate. We had a catch up. He told me he was down for dental treatment. We went to my Nan’s so he could see Scarlett. She was surprised to see me as she never sees me in the week usually. Bless her. He dropped me back just after 1ish.

Lately I have been feeling really out of sorts. Hormonal. It’s slowly been getting worse the last few months. Ever since my periods starting going whacky. It’s this coil. It must be. This is why I went to my doctor’s about it and they’re sending me for the scan and the blood test. As a rule I am not an overly emotional person. But lately I find myself either irrationally weepy or angry. I flip at the slightest thing. It’s very draining. I cried because I shouted at Scarlett, who was not bothered. But she cried when I cried and gave me a cuddle, wiped my tear away and said “mama what’s the matter?” – this in turn made me feel worse BTW. Actually hate being female ya know!

Not got much planned tonight. I do washing on Thursday’s [and Sunday’s] so I know my work trousers are clean for next week. Plus I have 4 days worth of washing from Scarlett’s room to do. Mostly just her paint-riddled outfits from Nursery lol

Going to sort Scarlett’s bath and then we’ll watch Emmerdale. Then she can go to bed. Then I’ll just catch up with some TV/reading.