A murder, a party and losing the will to live

Friday I went to work. I felt like absolute shit. I was manic all day. Trying to catch up. Trying to do stuff. I made a fair dent in my emails.

After work we went home. There had been an incident near to the party venue at 2pm and I wasn’t sure if the road would be open in time. There had been a fatal stabbing and the road was cordoned off.

Saturday we woke up at 7:30ish. Mom had worked the night so she grabbed breakfast on her way home. We ate when she got in. Scarlett ate loads. I was due to go to the venue for 11. I needed to go to town to get her cake. So I put her down for a nap then at 9:45 Grandad picked me up. The road was still shut. I had phoned the venue at half 8 and they reckoned I was still able to go ahead with the party. So I went to Asda to sort her cake. I settled on one of her Cake Smash pictures on it. I grabbed myself a new top to wear then we paid and left. I stopped by Home to grab what I needed then I went to my nan’s. She lives nearer to the venue than I do and I was due there at 11ish.

I walked over. I was perplexed. I couldn’t figure out how I was meant to get in when the front of the entire building/flats was cordoned off, including the road. I walked round behind and found the security guy (we had spoken on the phone). He let me in and said he’d lift the car park barriers so my guests could come in and out. And when we are finished later to call him and he’d come lock up the building.

The soft play guy arrived to set up at 11:15. My nan came with the food. I decorated and everyone blew up the balloons. I can’t because I’m allergic to latex. The guy finished setting up and left.

Just before the party was due to start I creeped into the toilet so I could slap some makeup on and change my top. Then I headed back out. I still felt like shit but the party was actually happening so I “put my big girl pants on”.

People arrived. People had a laugh. The kids played. They ate. It was good. I did some mingling. I met some of her Nursery friend’s parents. They’re all lovely. The kids too.

We did some presents from Brett’s brother because they’re big and they said it’ll be easier for them to take them straight back home in the car. Otherwise I’d have to drag it to their house on the train next time we visit. It was a crayola my first easel set. She’ll love it.

We did the cake at 2ish then everyone slowly parted ways. We gave them all their party bags and then when they’d all gone we tidied up. The soft play guy came at 2:50 and put everything away. I paid the remaining fee. I called security to inform them that we were leaving then we left.

We stopped at my nans house for a cup of tea then we headed home. Scarlett had eaten a lot so she just had some chips with Brett. I had a chicken curry. She had her bath then she went to bed.

We both felt knackered so we climbed into bed at like 9:30. We were going to watch a film but instead we just laid in bed chatting. We went to bed quite early, must’ve been midnight.

Sunday Brett looked at trains and they were rail replacement so he said he’d go home the next day. Worked for me. Scarlett got up at 8. We had breakfast at 10 then I put Scarlett up for a nap. We woke her at 12:30 so we could go out for dinner. We went to the Beefeater in town. I had garlic flatbread for starter then a buttermilk fried chicken burger with chips for a main. Scarlett had chicken bites, chips and peas. She ate a little but she wasn’t overly hungry. She helped my mom eat her dinner though lol

We left the restaurant a 3:15 and headed to my Nan’s. We had a cup of tea then headed home at 5ish. Scarlett had a yoghurt then went up for a bath at 6:30. We got her into bed at 8pm. We wanted to watch a film. Brett said Django so I found Django Unchained on Netflix. We watched it. I made him some supper. I ate my leftover rice from the night before.

The film finished quite late. I needed a shower as I had Work the next day. So we jumped in the shower then got into bed.

My neck has been really painful. Neck. Not throat. My throat is tolerable. My neck hurts if I turn too far either way. If I tilt my head. If I swallow or cough. It’s ridiculous. I cried. In bed. In front of Brett. I hate crying but I hate crying with an audience even more!! He cuddles me and said I’d be ok. It helped. We went to sleep.

Today I woke up and I just felt like utter shit. I was sick in bathroom. My head was pounding. My neck was killing me. I called in dead sick then booked a doctors appointment. They gave me a triage call first then an appointment for 11:40. I watched more Hemlock Grove then I climbed into bed with Brett. He woke up and said he was going to head home. So he left at half 10. At 11:20 I set off for the Doctors. I saw the same doctor as last week and she couldn’t get me out of there quick enough. Apparently my neck pain is muscular and will go away on it’s own. Basically put up and shut up!

After the doctors I walked to my nans house. I had some lunch at 12:30 then at 3pm mom came round. We went to Morrison’s to grab some food for Work then we went and picked up Scarlett. She had a good day. She ate and slept well apparently.

We went home and did some colouring. We played with her baby dolls. I took her up for a bath. She won’t get undressed. Turns out she needed a poo. When she was finished I stripped her off and she had a bath. She had her bottle and I took her up to bed at 7:30 but she didn’t settle. Mom went up once to sort her out. She’d taken her trousers off. I went up the second time and brought her downstairs. We turnedthe lights off and just had the tv on, down low.

I took her back up to bed at 9:30 as she seemed more ready for bed. I think she was missing me because she sat with me, cuddling and kissing my face. Rubbing my arm. Playing with my hair. So I can’t be mad at that!

I watched Vera at 10pm. It’s almost 2 hours long so it’s only just finished. I’m headed to bed now.

TTFN x

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