A murder, a party and losing the will to live

Friday I went to work. I felt like absolute shit. I was manic all day. Trying to catch up. Trying to do stuff. I made a fair dent in my emails.

After work we went home. There had been an incident near to the party venue at 2pm and I wasn’t sure if the road would be open in time. There had been a fatal stabbing and the road was cordoned off.

Saturday we woke up at 7:30ish. Mom had worked the night so she grabbed breakfast on her way home. We ate when she got in. Scarlett ate loads. I was due to go to the venue for 11. I needed to go to town to get her cake. So I put her down for a nap then at 9:45 Grandad picked me up. The road was still shut. I had phoned the venue at half 8 and they reckoned I was still able to go ahead with the party. So I went to Asda to sort her cake. I settled on one of her Cake Smash pictures on it. I grabbed myself a new top to wear then we paid and left. I stopped by Home to grab what I needed then I went to my nan’s. She lives nearer to the venue than I do and I was due there at 11ish.

I walked over. I was perplexed. I couldn’t figure out how I was meant to get in when the front of the entire building/flats was cordoned off, including the road. I walked round behind and found the security guy (we had spoken on the phone). He let me in and said he’d lift the car park barriers so my guests could come in and out. And when we are finished later to call him and he’d come lock up the building.

The soft play guy arrived to set up at 11:15. My nan came with the food. I decorated and everyone blew up the balloons. I can’t because I’m allergic to latex. The guy finished setting up and left.

Just before the party was due to start I creeped into the toilet so I could slap some makeup on and change my top. Then I headed back out. I still felt like shit but the party was actually happening so I “put my big girl pants on”.

People arrived. People had a laugh. The kids played. They ate. It was good. I did some mingling. I met some of her Nursery friend’s parents. They’re all lovely. The kids too.

We did some presents from Brett’s brother because they’re big and they said it’ll be easier for them to take them straight back home in the car. Otherwise I’d have to drag it to their house on the train next time we visit. It was a crayola my first easel set. She’ll love it.

We did the cake at 2ish then everyone slowly parted ways. We gave them all their party bags and then when they’d all gone we tidied up. The soft play guy came at 2:50 and put everything away. I paid the remaining fee. I called security to inform them that we were leaving then we left.

We stopped at my nans house for a cup of tea then we headed home. Scarlett had eaten a lot so she just had some chips with Brett. I had a chicken curry. She had her bath then she went to bed.

We both felt knackered so we climbed into bed at like 9:30. We were going to watch a film but instead we just laid in bed chatting. We went to bed quite early, must’ve been midnight.

Sunday Brett looked at trains and they were rail replacement so he said he’d go home the next day. Worked for me. Scarlett got up at 8. We had breakfast at 10 then I put Scarlett up for a nap. We woke her at 12:30 so we could go out for dinner. We went to the Beefeater in town. I had garlic flatbread for starter then a buttermilk fried chicken burger with chips for a main. Scarlett had chicken bites, chips and peas. She ate a little but she wasn’t overly hungry. She helped my mom eat her dinner though lol

We left the restaurant a 3:15 and headed to my Nan’s. We had a cup of tea then headed home at 5ish. Scarlett had a yoghurt then went up for a bath at 6:30. We got her into bed at 8pm. We wanted to watch a film. Brett said Django so I found Django Unchained on Netflix. We watched it. I made him some supper. I ate my leftover rice from the night before.

The film finished quite late. I needed a shower as I had Work the next day. So we jumped in the shower then got into bed.

My neck has been really painful. Neck. Not throat. My throat is tolerable. My neck hurts if I turn too far either way. If I tilt my head. If I swallow or cough. It’s ridiculous. I cried. In bed. In front of Brett. I hate crying but I hate crying with an audience even more!! He cuddles me and said I’d be ok. It helped. We went to sleep.

Today I woke up and I just felt like utter shit. I was sick in bathroom. My head was pounding. My neck was killing me. I called in dead sick then booked a doctors appointment. They gave me a triage call first then an appointment for 11:40. I watched more Hemlock Grove then I climbed into bed with Brett. He woke up and said he was going to head home. So he left at half 10. At 11:20 I set off for the Doctors. I saw the same doctor as last week and she couldn’t get me out of there quick enough. Apparently my neck pain is muscular and will go away on it’s own. Basically put up and shut up!

After the doctors I walked to my nans house. I had some lunch at 12:30 then at 3pm mom came round. We went to Morrison’s to grab some food for Work then we went and picked up Scarlett. She had a good day. She ate and slept well apparently.

We went home and did some colouring. We played with her baby dolls. I took her up for a bath. She won’t get undressed. Turns out she needed a poo. When she was finished I stripped her off and she had a bath. She had her bottle and I took her up to bed at 7:30 but she didn’t settle. Mom went up once to sort her out. She’d taken her trousers off. I went up the second time and brought her downstairs. We turnedthe lights off and just had the tv on, down low.

I took her back up to bed at 9:30 as she seemed more ready for bed. I think she was missing me because she sat with me, cuddling and kissing my face. Rubbing my arm. Playing with my hair. So I can’t be mad at that!

I watched Vera at 10pm. It’s almost 2 hours long so it’s only just finished. I’m headed to bed now.

TTFN x

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2 looks good on her!

So last night Scarlett decided she wanted to have a birthday sleepover. So I let her. But at 2:30am when I woke up for the 3rd time (having real sleeping issues lately), I decided to move her. She didn’t stir. She went in her cot, no fuss. I climbed back into bed and eventually went back to sleep. Woke up at 4-something and 6ish. Eventually my alarm went off at 7. I got up and got dressed. Brushed my teeth and vomited. Twice. Awesome!

Went in to wake her and she was not down for that. She didn’t want to get up and then she was disappointed that she could not have cake for breakfast. I dressed her in her new tshirt. It says “I AM 2”.

I left for work at 7:45. I caught up on things I missed whilst off sick then at 12ish my mom picked me up. We headed to town. I needed to get a cake for Scarlett and then we headed to my Nan’s house for lunch. I was due to view a house I was interested in but they called last minute to say it was left agreed by someone who viewed it today. So that’s that. I was annoyed because I liked the location, price and what I saw online.

After we ate we headed home. Scarlett opened her presents and cards. My mom put her up for a nap and I put together some of the toys she got that require screwing together.

She woke up at 5ish. My dad FaceTimed to say Happy Birthday etc. It’s his birthday Saturday. Which is when her party is.

I put some dinner on at 6:30. I didn’t realise how late it was. Usually she’s eaten by 6 latest. She had pizza but kept stealing chips off of my plate. Cheeky!

I took her up at 7:30 for a bath then did her bottle at 8. I put her to bed at 8:30ish but I heard her an hour later so I got her back up. Sat with the light off, just the tv on, downstairs. She was fine but she started getting tired and miserable. So I took her back off and she settled this time.

I’m watching Hemlock Grove and then I’m off to bed as I’m working tomorrow and I can tell from my emails that I have a mega busy day ahead of me!!!

TTFN x

1 more sleep

Monday wasn’t that bad. I had a slow day at work. Apparently no one was doing anything in the business as I only received a few emails all day. Weird!

I taught her to say “Happy Birthday to you”. She says it in the cutest way!

Tuesday I still felt like shit. My throat was doing my head in and my eyes were sore. They haven’t itched that bad in ages. Took me by surprise. My mom went to her boyfriends. I watched the second part of Silent Witness then the season finale of Grimm and the ending of Delicious season 2.

I tossed and turned all night. My neck felt sore and my head felt too heavy for my body. It was weird.

Today when my alarm went off at 6:30 I felt so tired. My throat was raging. I took some painkillers then called in sick. I got up with Scarlett, sorted her out then my mom dropped her at my nans then we had breakfast. I got myself a Doctors apointment for 10:40. I started watching this new series on Netflix called Hemlock Grove. It’s proper weird so it’s right up my street. I watched 2 episodes then I headed to the doctors. They said it’s viral. Surprise! I can’t complain tbf as I don’t like antibiotics anyway.

My nans house is next to the surgery and it was raining buckets so I dashed to her house and stayed there. Scarlett arrived at lunch and went down for a nap. I chilled then she had some dinner. She didn’t eat much. Sometimes she’s not quite ready for it. So we took what was left, home. She ate more then had 2 yoghurts for pudding. I put her in the bath at 6pm. Mom put our dinner on. I did Scarlett’s bottle then mom put her to bed. We ate then we watched some TV.

I wrapped up Scarlett’s presents. Put her balloons and bunting in place.

I’ve just finished watching an episode of Hemlock Grove and now I’m jumping in the shower quick before heading to bed.

Tomorrow I will be the mother of a 2 year old. So exciting!

TTFN x

4 days till baby is 2!

So I’ve just had the shittest day I’ve had in ages. And a lot of it was fuelled by tiredness, hunger, hormones and the bastard rain.

Friday’s journey to Brett’s house wasn’t bad. Just bit packed on the train. That’s the problem with travelling at rush hour. We got on the 5:15 and got off at 6:35 so not too bad. Brett met us on the platform. His mom was in the car waiting.

When we got back we had some dinner. We had chip shop because it’s a Friday. Scarlett had already eaten at Nursery so she just had some chips. Brett bathed her then we put her down to bed at 9:30. She took ages to drop off.

Brett fell asleep on the sofa at 10. I left him. I climbed into his bed. Played my iPhone games then went to sleep at 12:30. He climbed into bed at some point, he woke me up. But we both went back to sleep.

Saturday Scarlett stirred at 6:55. I heard her but as she’d woke me, I really needed a wee so I ran past her cot and went upstairs. When I came back down she’d settled so I climbed into bed and went back to sleep. I heard her again at 9:30. She was singing. I left her till almost 10 then I got her up. Brett didn’t get up. It annoyed me. He eventually came out the bedroom after Scarlett had already gone shopping with his mom and I had had a shower.

When they got back we headed out to see his family. We stopped at McDonald’s on the way as I was starving and Scarlett needed some lunch. We ate on the way. We were there till 3 then we headed back. I put Scarlett down for a nap. She slept for 90 minutes. I woke her up trying to get past the cot (his room is an obstacle course).

We put her dinner on at 6ish. She ate at 6:30. She had waffles, fish fingers and beans. Then a yoghurt. Standard lol

We ate at 7ish then I put her in the bath. Took ages to get her to go to sleep. Mostly because Brett was on the PS4 and took ages to get off it. We put her down then we watched a film in the front room. We watched paycheck. Not bad film. It had you guessing things, which I like.

He played his PS4, again. Whilst I played my game on my phone in bed. I went to sleep at about 1ish.

Sunday (today) I didn’t hear Scarlett until 9. She was singing so I left her be. Must’ve fell asleep. Woke up at 10 and she was quiet. Rolled over to wake Brett up. Told him it was 10 and we should get up. Slide off the bed to see her and the cot was empty. I figured his mom must’ve picked her up so I went upstairs for a wee. On the stairs I could see her feet on the sofa, she was sat with his brother. So I brushed my teeth and came down to get dressed. I told Brett we needed to relieve his brother from babysitting duties. He just stayed there so I left the bedroom and went into see Scarlett. She had already had her bottle. Then she had some grapes and a yoghurt. The dog was asleep on the sofa and Scarlett slammed her hand down when running past. It startled him and he bit her. She was really upset. I picked her up and took her into the kitchen so I could see her hand. It was a smallest of grazes. I tried to console her but she was heartbroken. I washed her hands to be safe (let’s be honest, dogs lick their own arses). I told her it was okay and he didn’t mean it, she just spooked him. Her cry was really getting to me. I could feel my eyes watering. I hate crying. And I hate public crying even more. I held it back till she composed herself. I took her in the lounge to dress her. She was much calmer. Then she took her dirty nappy out into the kitchen to put in the bin. There was people in the kitchen so I seized my chance to escape upstairs. I had a wee and cried. I cried because my heart hurt. I don’t like when she’s upset. I don’t like not being able to control things. It wasn’t really anyone’s fault. The dog is old and was asleep. She startled him. But he shouldn’t bite. I’m so hormonal. Since the coil I’ve been skipping my period every other month. And it’s annoying. Because yeah, no blood, yay brill. But hormones still rain on me. So I’m either a blubbering mess or a psycho bitch. No inbetween #ideal

I tried to put her down for a nap before dinner. Brett was on his PS4 and didn’t get the hint when I said I wanted to put her to sleep. So after 90 minutes of trying I gave up. Then we had dinner. We got our stuff together and we left to get the train at 4ish. There was rail replacement buses from Woking (2 stops from Home) and I can’t do them buses as they are coaches and I get motion sickness. So I asked my mom if she minded picking us up from Woking. My brother’s girlfriend lives in Woking so she said yeah ok I’ll drop her back when I get you. So ok cool.

We got off the train at 5pm. It’s been raining for 2 days. So it’s soaking wet outside. They tell me to exit via platform 5. So I do. Then I’m told they got stuck because there is a road closed and they got diverted for like 2 miles and can’t get to me so can I go back through the station to platform 1’s exit. So I go back in and explain to the guard. They let me through. I come out the other exit. See mom waving down the road so walk as fast as I can carrying our overnight bag and pushing the stroller. Eventually we’re all in the car. Wet but in. Off we go to drop Natalia home. Scarlett is asleep within minutes. Not ideal. But whatever.

We had to divert again on the way home but we finally arrived just after 6. Kitchen was a mess. The water was still turned off. My mom nipped next door to ask if she could fill up some bottles with water so we could at least make tea. Scarlett had a hissy fit. She sounded like she was in pain. She was really upset. She wouldn’t let anyone pick her up off the floor. She ended up in my mom’s arms and she handed her to me. She calmed down. I asked her what was wrong. She said her elbow hurt (no idea) so I asked if she wanted me to kiss it better. She said Yeah. So I did. Then I asked if she wanted her tea. She shook her head. I said what do you want? She said “my bottle”. So I put her pyjamas on and wiped her face (no bath so it’s the best I could do) then I made her milk. She drank it and seemed to perk up. My mom’s friend came round to fix the pipe on the washing machine. Scarlett said Nunight at 7:30 and I took her up. She went to sleep. Water was back on so I watched Vera at 8 then at 10 I got in the shower. Omg it was so nice to wash my hair. I hate going to work with greasy hair and lately my hair is nothing but greasy. Ughhh!

I laid on my bed for a while after, enjoying the warmth from the heating that had come on whilst I was showering.

Now I’m in bed. Can’t sleep as I didn’t get up till 10 but I’ll try my best!

Scarlett is turning 2 in 4 days (although it’s almost 3 days now). It’s gone by so quick but at the same time it’s gone slowly.

I’m off to dream about the time when my kitchen wasn’t a shit hole, my hair wasn’t constantly greasy and I didn’t feel like shit (sore throat is back).

TTFN x

Her birthday is in T-Minus 8 days

Monday was a busy at work. Which I like. It makes the day go quicker! Scarlett did some singing with me and mom before bath time. We loves singing! More Silent Witness again. I love Monday’s atm!

Tuesday was slower at work. More Silent Witness. I’ve been catching up with Season 6 of Grimm. It gets better and better each time.

Scarlett’s Cake Smash photoshoot pictures came back. They are brilliant. I’m not even bothered they captured her red “post cry” nose lol it adds character. Look at the link below to the 12 I posted on my facebook page.

https://www.facebook.com/kayleighsblog/posts/1615070268571924

Today (Wednesday) I felt so tired at work. Lately I’ve not been sleeping that great. I mean I’m ok. But I can’t seem to nod off before midnight. More like 1am or later. Which isn’t great as I’m up for work at 6:45. But as I’m tired I’m not getting my ass moving till 7 lol #ideal

I did some laundry tonight as we’re at Brett’s this weekend and I need my jeans!

Scarlett’s Birthday in T-Minus 8 days. Yep, we’re on a countdown now lol

I’m watching Grimm. I’m heading to bed once this episode is done.

TTFN x

Laziest weekend ever!

Thursday Scarlett woke up in the night. She’s really into midnight Mama Snuggles at the moment. I’m loving it but I still put her back to bed. No bed sharing. It’s like sleeping with a drink octopus lol

Friday was looooooooong. It just seemed to drag. I felt really tired. I guess working a full week after being off for so long had caught up with me. Scarlett went to bed at 7:30. My mom went to work at 9. I watched some more Elementary. Scarlett woke up at 10:30. I brought her downstairs. I turned off the light, just had the TV as a light. She asked for a bottle. I gave her 5oz. She drank it. She’d had 5oz at 7. So that’s 10oz. That’s not like her. She must be having a growth spurt. She fell asleep on my lap on the sofa. So I left her. Brett turned up at 11:30. I woke her by accident when I got up to open the door when he knocked. She was so happy to see him. She was all over him like a rash. It was good to see because sometimes she really nonchalant about him lol

We put her back to bed then we watched some tele together. It was great just being there together. I think we went to sleep at like half 2!

Saturday Scarlett woke up at 8:30. I took her down to have her bottle. She watched some tele. We did some singing (wind the bobbin up). At 10 we went up and woke Brett up. I made breakfast. Scarlett loves porridge (or as she calls it “orridge”). He put her up for a nap. We watched some more Elementary. She woke up at 2ish. We got dressed and went to town for lunch. We went to Poppins cafe. We love it there. Scarlett had turkey dinosaurs, chips and peas. I had a chicken burger and chips. Brett had the all day breakfast. Mom had the mayo chicken baguette. Scarlett ate loads. My mom left as she was going to her boyfriends for the day/night. We went into the card factory as I needed to buy a few birthday cards. I’ve got a few friends toddler’s birthdays coming up in January and February. Plus my dad and Brett’s mom. And Scarlett (although I’ve already bought her card). So I went into the shop and Brett wandered with Scarlett. When I was done we went into Sainsbury’s. We got a movie to watch later plus he wanted some E45 bath stuff for his skin. We paid and then got on the bus to Home.

As we’d had a late lunch I didn’t plan on doing dinner until about 7. Usually Scarlett’s in bed by then but it’s a weekend and she was up late so I thought Ah Fuck It. So Brett had a bath at half 5. Scarlett and I chilled. My nan was making pies. I love her pies. She agreed to drop the first 2 round so we could have them for dinner. They were still hot (fresh out of the oven) so we had pie for dinner at 7:30. After dinner Brett bathed Scarlett whilst I put her washing away. She had her bottle then she went to bed at 9:30. That’s late for her but she went straight to sleep. We got into bed and watched Bridget Jones’s Baby. Brett actually liked the film though I doubt he’d ever admit it haha

Today she didn’t wake until at least half 9. I didn’t actually hear her until almost 10. She never cries or calls out. She just lays in her cot singing or she’ll get her book from the side and “read”. So I didn’t stir until her singing was louder on the monitor. I brought her in bed with us. I woke Brett up. He watched her whilst I nipped down to do her bottle. She had 8oz (I hate leaving a bit in the bottom of the carton so I poured it all out). She actually drank it all.

We went downstairs and I made her some breakfast. Porridge again lol she ate then she played with Brett. We watched some TV. He took her up for a nap at 1ish. We put on his Conor McGregor dvd. God I hate that Irish twat. But Brett likes him so I tolerated. Brett went up at 3:45 and woke Scarlett up. She was unamused but she can’t sleep all day. We watched some more Elementary and she played. He got his stuff together at 5 and then left to go home. His train was at 6. I put some dinner on at 6ish. We ate at 6:30. FaceTimed my mom then bath by 7ish. Bottle at 7:30. She wouldn’t drink much at first. She was trying to hang out bedtime lol she eventually went to bed at 8:15 but didn’t actually go to sleep until 9. She’s so funny. She was laid in her cot singing to herself and playing with her teletubbies. And she had the photo of her and Brett. She fell asleep holding it. So cute!

I watched Vera at 8 followed by 2 episodes of Elementary. I’ve almost finished season 5. What am I going to do with my life when it’s finished?

I tried to book our Sun Holiday today but they’ve changed how priority people can book so I’ve got to wait until tomorrow. How annoying. We’ve picked 4 sites around Weymouth/Poole area. So hopefully we get one of those. Will book it in the morning.

Back to work tomorrow. My work trousers are clean, I have food for lunch and Scarlett’s outfit for Nursery is laid out so I feel slightly organised lol

TTFN x

Throat is still sore

Monday was great. I was really busy at work catching up. It was unfortunate that I had been on annual leave previous to falling sick. So I had been out of the office since December 22nd. I had 50 emails. But most were tied into email chains so only 1 email out of say 5 were actionable. Still, I made a massive dent in them. I felt rather productive. Silent Witness started at 9pm. New season. I love it. So glad we have a series link!

Tuesday my alarm didn’t go off. I woke up at 7:45 to my Nan banging on my front door. I had to quickly get dressed, make my lunch and go. I left my Nan dressing Scarlett. I made her bottle whilst I was making lunch in the kitchen. But that was all I did do. I hate being late. My mom had arrived from work to pick me up and had to wait as I was running late. I got to work at 8:10. I was so surprised it wasn’t any later. I had text on my way that I was going to be late and why so my manager was fine when I got in. I said I’d make it up in my lunch break. Standard procedure.

I finished off all my email catchup. Then I looked into some upcoming tasks. Got a lot of database maintenance coming up. That’ll keep me busy!!!!

Wednesday (today) I had a quieter day. I felt really tired. I couldn’t sleep the night before. Think I didn’t nod off until gone 1am. I was feeling really tired by lunch time. I caught up with some more Elementary on my lunch break. I’m on season 5 now!

I’m almost finished with my antibiotics. I’m still coughing but not as much. My throat is still sore on one side. It’s annoying me. Like why does it need to be sore!?

Not got much planned this week. I’m working tomorrow and Friday. Usual!

Friday Brett is coming down after work. No plans thus far. Just chill out. Probably watch a movie Saturday (either cinema or in bed). I’m looking for a quiet weekend. I’m still not 100%. I’d say I’m functioning at 80%. Almost there but not quite!

TTFN x