11 days to go

Friday I had originally said to mom that I fancied going cinema as she was home so it was no hardship for her to babysit. But I changed my mind. I stayed in. We waited for her boyfriend to come over then we ordered a sneaky Chinese. I then went up to bed to carry on watching Salem. I have just started watching it and I am engrossed. It is a Netflix show so been streaming it downstairs on TiVo. But also on my iPad.

Saturday Scarlett woke up at 6ish. Put her back down. She wasn’t having any of it so we got up. Went downstairs. Let her play in the lounge whilst I attempted to doze. Every time I tried she kept coming over to show me her “baby” lol we had breakfast then she went for a nap. I woke her up at 11 as she had a swimming lesson finally. They had been cancelled for 2 weeks in a row due to a fault with the swimming pool so we’d not been in ages. She loves her lessons. She is getting more confident every time. When we were finished Mom dropped us in town. By then it was lunch so we had a cheeky McDonald’s. I just had a chicken burger. Scarlett had a cheese burger.

After lunch we took a stroll to the hairdressers as I needed my hair cut. She was really good behaved considering she had to sit in the stroller whilst they washed, cut and blow dried my hair. She whinged towards the end but that was due to her being tired and needing a nap. We hit the shops before we headed to my Nan’s. My mom, me and her boyfriend decided we wanted to go cinema so we asked my Nan if she minded babysitting. She said she would. So mom headed home to grab some bits. We had dinner at my nan’s then I bathed Scarlett in my Nan’s kitchen sink then I got her ready for bed. Nan said she’d give her a bottle and then put her to sleep in the stroller. Which she did.

We went off to the cinema at 8ish. We popped into Morrison’s first then headed to the movies. It was really busy. We all got a slushie then sat down in our seats. The movie was really good. Having studied History for 5 years at school I am really disappointed that we were never taught about Dunkirk. I know that if we had been I would’ve at least remembered the name of it. There is so much we aren’t taught in class and I feel like I barely know any of our history.

We Drove to my Nan’s and picked Scarlett up. Couldn’t transfer her from stroller to car seat without waking her so I didn’t other trying too much. She had a few extra ounces of milk in her cot at home then she was back to sleep. She is such a good little human, bless her.

Sunday she woke me up at 6am. Again! We were going out at 11ish so I gave her a bottle when she first woke then some breakfast at half 8. She went down for a nap at 9 and then I woke her at 10:45 so she could get dressed. We got picked up at 11 and off we went. We went to my aunt’s house. Her new house. Was hectic as with us there there was 5 adults and 6 kids. But we managed. Scarlett finally noticed there were 2 of the same kid. She was sat next to Frankie and then Freddie came in. She looked from Fred to Frank and back again. Then at me. Her face was a picture. She couldn’t figure out why there was 2. So I told her one was Frankie, the other was Freddie. She still wasn’t convinced, I could see it in her face lolIMG_3295

I don’t think anyone understands what that pic (^) means to me. Seeing my child with them. They were in-utero when I was told I couldn’t have my own babies. And I felt jealous that my aunt could just pop babies out. And I vowed I wouldn’t babysit for anyone ever again because it hurt too much to be near kids at the time. But time moved on and they were born. They spent as much time at mine their first 2 years than they did at home. They were terrors but I loved them anyway. And then Scarlett came along. My little dream. My miracle. MY terror. And to see her with them today. Her following them. Copying them. Yabbering away to them. Well, it made my heart swell… This is exactly what I had always dreamed of. My child with my aunt’s children, growing up as besties. Sometimes dream DO come true!

We got home at 5:30pm. We finished watched Hotel Transylvania. She had some supper [crisps, a gingerbread man and a yoghurt] then she had a bath. She was trying out her new skills from swimming. I got her ready for bed. We had a nice long cuddle on the sofa before I got up and made her bottle. She was in bed fast asleep by 7:30pm. When I put her down I got in the shower myself. Then I went downstairs just as mom got home. I hoovered whilst she made me some supper then we watched Poldark. When it was done I climbed into bed. I am in bed now. Work tomorrow.

11 days to go tomorrow until we go to Italy. It is getting very exciting!!!!!!!!!



2 week countdown

So my previous post got A LOT of traffic. I sometimes forget that people actually read my blog. I write as if I have readers but I don’t ever really expect many people to read. It’s almost as if I am just writing out an online diary or journal. I know people CAN read it but I don’t expect many to do. So when my stats say that my page was visited by 100+ visitors, it always throws me. So, hey, to all who do read, whether it is actively, sporadically or anything in between. Hey and welcome…

The 2 week countdown for Italy has began. We fly out from Stanstead Airport on Friday 11th August @ 6:45am. I am super excited but also apprehensive. I haven’t flown abroad since 2008 when I was just turning 17. To have my first flight with a toddler, what was I thinking? lol it will be okay. She is an unbelievably great traveller. We have done the trains, short distance, long distance. We went to Liverpool on the train last summer. We went to Hastings this month. She is fab. I cannot fault her. Plus knowing her, she’ll be all over her Daddy on the flight and leave me alone in peace lol

I have got a list [I love a list] of everything to pack. Where to put certain items such as liquids and nail clippers etc. I have decided to pack 2 “small-ish” books for the journey as well as a thin blanket, her TedTed and my iPad [for teletubbies, obvs]. It will be so early I am hoping she will go back to sleep. The upside of an earlier flight is that she can nap as soon as we land and check in. And once she’s up we can go explore/have lunch etc.

Our Itinerary is:

  • Friday 11th August – Flight 06:45 departing Stanstead. Arriving in Verona at 10:00am.
  • Check in Hotel 1 is from 11am. We stay for 2 days.
  • Check out Hotel 1 at 11am on Sunday 13th August.
  • Train from Verona to Venice – about 1 hour long
  • Check to Hotel 2 in Venice [13th August] from 2pm. We stay 1 night.
  • Check out Hotel 2 in Venice [14th August] from 10:30am
  • We will have lunch then head to the airport.
  • Our flight from Venice to Rome is at 4:20pm. We arrive in Rome at 5:25pm.
  • Check in for Hotel 3 in Rome [14th August] is from 11am. We will get there about 6:30pm – have arranged this.
  • We stay in Rome for 3 days. We are aiming to visit Naples on the 16th for the day. The train is about 2 hours.
  • Thursday 17th August – flight from Rome Ciampino departs at 11:15am and arrives at Stanstead for 1pm.

So that is our trip. We are city hopping and it’ll be hectic as fuck but we wanted to make the most of whilst we are there. And lots of people said Venice is alright for a day but spend more time in Rome as there is so much more to see.

I cannot believe we go in 2 weeks. In fact, we will be in the air this time in 2 weeks!!!!

Also, it is my birthday in 3 weeks today. I think we are going out for a meal as we only come back from Italy the day before!

TGIF. This week has been long. Scarlett has been grumpy as she is a bit unwell. She has this viral wheeze [doctor’s words, not mine]. And she has been crying to go to bed at like 6pm lol I selfishly have been making her stay up till her usual bed time of 7 as I want to spend my 2 hours with her. I don’t see her all day and the little moo wants to go bed an hour after I get home!


An open letter to my fiancé

An open letter to my fiancé…

Dear Brett,

I know we’ve had our ups and downs over the last 15 months since we met. I know you sometimes want to punch me in face or shake me when I am being ridiculous. I know that you love me so much that you would take a bullet for me. And more than that, you would take a bullet for my daughter because she has become OUR daughter.

I have had a tough time over the past few years. You knew this. You knew I was a little damaged and it never bothered you. I was afraid the damage was irreversible. But it isn’t. Thanks to you. You’ve shown me that not all guys are the same. That sometimes you find love when you least expect it.

When we met I was over all the place [not that I realised it at the time]. I had not long had a baby and I wasn’t even looking for a relationship. You came along. With your cheeky grin and weird sense of humour. You lifted me up and literally helped me learn to love again. Being single for 4 years had me so use to it that being your girlfriend, being A girlfriend, came with challenges. We rowed. We learned what we both want/need from life, from each other. But we are still learning. That time we went for a Chinese and I had no clue you don’t like Chinese.

When you agreed to marry me it was the second best day of my life [only coming second after Scarlett’s birth]. I know we aren’t in a place right now to marry. We need to find a place together first and sort out all of our shit. But when the time comes I cannot wait to marry you.

I love you baby. I love you for you. I love how you always try when we argue and I am ready to boil your brain. You get me calm. You get me to talk. You treat me like I should be treated. You’re my best friend and the best Daddy to our daughter I could ever ask for. I love you, she loves you. We are lucky to have you.

Lots of love,

Kayleigh – aka your future wife!



Happy 18 Months Baby

So today my tiny terror is 18 months old. She has 13 teeth [when I am allowed a quick peek]. She says Hiya to everyone she sees. She says it to me when I wake her for nursery, when I see her after work. Every time we see each other. I love it. She is currently obsessed with her baby doll. I told her that she won’t be getting a sibling any time soon. If she is lucky to actually have any siblings. There is no guarantee I can have any other babies. But that is a story for another time. I just count my blessing every day for this little miracle of mine. She is so smart and brave and cheeky. She makes me smile even when she has made me tear my hair out in frustration. She wraps her arms around my neck for a cuddle and says Mama in my ear. What I would do for her squishy cuddles forever.





Just born – January 2016


6 months – July 2016


26 weeks – July 2016


12 months – January 2017


18 months today – July 2017




Monday, again. What!


My Bridea gift box came. Inside was some random as hell items. Personalised sunglasses. A hand fan. Some sweets. Some other things and many leaflets. I think the idea is to look at all the options for what is available for when you marry. From flowers to decorations. What I really wanted from the box was the wedding planner.

Bride box

I left a book next to Scarlett’s cot to see if she would pick it up and look at it. As she sometimes has this half hour “faff about” after I put her to bed. She did pick it up and she played with it for a bit then she went to bed.


We were allowed to leave our office at 4:30 so mom picked me up then we picked Scarlett up after. She looked confused that I was there. I seldom pick her up as usually Mom does, then picks me up. We went home and did the usual routine. Mom went off to work at 7:30 and I settled in for the night.


Swimming was cancelled. Second week in a row. The pool still has issues apparently. Scarlett woke me up at 5am. Again. Starting to drain on my soul now lol we had breakfast then I put her down for a nap. I had every intention to grab a shower whilst she was asleep but apparently my body had other ideas. I fell asleep on my bed lol

We went out at lunch time. It had been raining nonstop since the night before and everywhere was soaking wet. We went to my Nan’s for lunch. Scarlett played and ran and jumped. Not bad for being stuck indoors lol Mom came round later, as she had slept all day because she been at work. They had dinner and then we went to Morrison’s on our way home as I needed stuff for work. Ended up spending £40 on clothes for the kid lol #momlife

She threw a little tantrum when we got home as she didn’t want to walk from the car to the house. But I had my hands full of shopping lol so she laid herself down on the concrete, ever so gently, and then whinged! #dramaqueen

I had a shower when she was in bed and just had a chilled evening with some tele – the usual.


We were going up the old folks home to visit my gran so we were up, fed and dressed by 10am. I decided to take some distractions so she wouldn’t wreck the place. So we took her baby doll and toy pram. As well as her ball and a book. She was all over the baby doll all day. It was really cute. I put her down for a nap before dinner as she was grotty but she wouldn’t go down so she didn’t sleep until gone 3pm. We went home at 6ish. She was in the bath and in bed asleep by 7:30pm. I did some washing up then I watched some TV. I climbed into bed at 11ish.

Monday [today]:

Scarlett didn’t wake up at 5am this morning. First morning in a fortnight. Well, if she did wake I didn’t hear her haha I woke up at 7 and I got dressed then woke her up at 7:15. She had her bottle and my Nan turned up at 7:30 whilst I was making my lunch. Mom turned up at 7:45. I got to work for 8:10am. Not good. I hate being late but mom was late leaving work so I was late getting to work. It’s a knock-on affect. Never mind, no one died due to it.


Hump day already

I woke up in agony at 3am. I had really bad stomachache and I ended up rushing to the loo with diarrhoea. I went back to bed and then Scarlett woke up at 6ish. Gave her a bottle and put her back down. I finally crawled out of bed at 7ish. I felt like crap but I decided to go to work so I did. I got in just before 8 and was heading back home by 10ish. My manager was nice and dropped me home. I curled up on the sofa and pretty much remained there all day. I felt bad mom-guilt that I was home [when usually I’d be at work] but I wasn’t spending my time with Scarlett. But I was sick. She was better off at nursery. So Mom and I popped past Morrison’s to grab some much needed groceries as we had literally NOTHING at home then we picked her up. She looked so confused when I walked in to pick her up. I rarely get her. Even the nursery staff were like “Hey stranger…” We went home and did our usual routine then she went to bed. Mom went off to work at 7:30pm. I still felt crappy and I decided that if I still felt dodgy in the morning then I would phone in sick.

I did still feel crappy so I called in sick. Scarlett had me up at 5am, then again at 6am – I gave her a bottle. Then I left her and woke her up just after 7am. My nan picked her up just before 8. She waved bye and they left. Mom and I had breakfast then she went up to sleep, having worked the night before. I caught up on some tele then later I felt like I needed to be productive so I tidied Scarlett’s room and washed up the dirty dishes. Then I headed to my Nan’s as Scarlett does a half day on Tuesdays so she was there from 12:30. I put her down for a nap when I got there and a bit later my nan woke her up by accident so she was very grumpy. I tried to put her back down but she wouldn’t so we just sat and played. Then we had dinner then headed home.

Today is hump day. I went into work and caught up on the emails I got whilst off, and finished the task I started on Monday. My brother is up visiting so we met for lunch with my mom and Scarlett. We went to the Harvester. Scarlett just had salad and garlic bread as the little fatpants had already had her lunch! After we ate my mom dropped me back at work.

My brother stayed at home for a bit after I finished work but my mom dropped him at the train station at 6ish. Scarlett didn’t settle for bed very easily even though she had asked to go to bed. I had to go up and cuddle her 3 times. The last time I went up she laid in my arms like a baby. She hasn’t done that for a very long time. It was very soothing for my soul to just rock her whilst taking in her baby smell. She eventually settled and Mom and I had dinner before watching Emmerdale. Then mom started doing some of her tasks for her NVQ whilst I caught up with NCIS.

I have just got into bed. Work tomorrow. Was suppose to have a job interview but having looked at where the actual office is based, and bus times, I don’t think I can get to work on time if I got the job so no point in attending the interview, so I cancelled.


Celebratory BBQ


Scarlett was fine and didn’t seem to hold a grudge. She went to bed like usual.


My manager let us leave early Friday so I was at my nan’s just after 4:30. It was a nice thing for a Friday. I got a last minute text from TurtleTots saying there was no swimming lesson Saturday due to a problem with the pool chlorination pump having an issue. So I agreed with Brett’s mom that we’d get an earlier train so we could have more time there.


We got up quite early and were on the train by 9am. His mom picked us up at 10:45 the other end and we went to Sainsbury’s for some groceries then after we’d dropped them back, and I made Scarlett some lunch, we set off to visit some of Brett’s family. We got a few engagement cards. So sweet. I wasn’t expecting that.

When we got back from visiting people Brett had finished work and was home. We decided not to go out (cinema). Scarlett went to bed quite late and then we watched tele with his family then we went into his room and watched a film. We watched The Mechanic. We had accidentally watched the sequel recently so we had both wanted to see the first one. So we did. I was shattered by the time it finished so we climbed into bed and I was flat out within half hour.


Scarlett woke me at 6am. She had only been asleep since 9:30pm (usually she’s down by 7pm) so I changed her nappy, made her a bottle and put her back down. She didn’t nod back off until 7:30 and I was behind her by about an hour. Then at 9:30 Brett woke me up trying to get frisky. Idiot! Then 10 minutes later told me to stop snoring haha I weren’t even asleep again. What a twat! She woke back up at 10:30 so I gave her breakfast then I got her dressed for the day. She played with her uncle Scott and followed him around like a lost puppy lol I put her down for a nap at 1:30 and fell asleep myself. We had a BBQ at 3ish to celebrate our engagement. It was nice. Scarlett wasn’t overly hungry so she just had a yoghurt and an ice lolly. She’s so funny. She was playing “basketball”. Meaning Scott was lifting her up to the basket and she was putting the ball in lol

Brett dropped his phone down the loo. It turns on and for the most part it does “work” but he’s got no sound and the microphone doesn’t appear to work if he calls you!!!

We got on the train home at 7ish and got off at 8:30. She didn’t go to bed until almost 10pm because it was 9 when we got home then we bathed together (well I showered whilst she was sat in the bath). She’s getting brave now. She usually hates the shower and cries. But this time she used a flannel to “wash” my feet and ankles whilst I was stood up washing my hair. Bless her.

I’m in bed now. Got work tomorrow. I’m quite tired. Travelling really does take it out of you!!!