Almost late

Sunday 28th:

We took Scarlett up to visit my gran in the old folks home. Scarlett got hold of some playing cards and found it highly amusing to hand random ones to everyone, then take it back, then hand it over again. Kept her amused the entire time we were there.

After we left we headed towards Morrison’s as she desperately needed her Soya Milk. She only had 1 carton left and she needed 1 for nursery, 1 for my nan’s and atleast 1/2 for home. So I grabbed some. Then we went to my nan’s as she was cooking dinner. Scarlett went down for a nap as she was tired and I knew dinner wasn’t going to be ready for at least an hour. She slept for 90 minutes, woke up just as we had finished eating. So she had her dinner in the highchair then she was let loose. We left for home. She had a snack, a bath and then watched some teletubbies before her bottle then bed.

Monday 29th:

Bank holiday Monday. Typically it was very wet outside so again we couldn’t do much. Scarlett had me up at 3am until about 4:30am. Then again at 6am. Finally we got up at 8:30 for the day. As I had given her a bottle at 4am, I just gave her proper breakfast at 8:30. She watched some teletubbies. We read a book. Played with her wooden music bits. Played sleeping lions. Just acted silly. Then I took her up for a nap at 10ish. She woke up at 12 when my dad turned up. I made him a cup of tea then we left to grab lunch. We were going to try out the new place that opened opposite Morrison’s but turns out it isn’t open, yet. Opens tomorrow. So we ended up at the Harvester. They were jam packed so we ended up waiting for our mains for so long. Scarlett did really well considering waiting isn’t exactly a toddler’s best skill. He dropped us home at 2:45 and sped off to his appointment. Mom was watching something on tele. afterwards we went to Morrison’s so I could attempt to get Scarlett’s passport photo done. It was the single most stressful 10 minutes of my life and they best be accepted by the passport people because I refuse to attempt that again! Scarlett was tired as she hadn’t had a chance to have an afternoon siesta but I managed to keep her up. She had her dinner at 5:30, bath at 6:15 and was in bed settled by 7. I watched Emmerdale then I watched 12 monkey’s. I have just started season 2. Season 1 was weird but interesting enough to warrant attempting the second season. I cleared away stuff, got our bags ready for the morning and climbed into bed at 10. I read a bit of my new book and was asleep by 10:30pm [according to my FitBit].

Tuesday 30th:

My stepmom’s birthday today. She is 42. 2 years ago she had a party for her 40th and I revealed I was pregnant there and then. My dad found it amusing that she was going to be a granny at 40.

Back to work today. Almost didn’t make it in on time. I was suppose to have been woken up by my alarm at 6:40am but I didn’t rise from the dead until 7:10 when my mom got in from work and enquired where I was? I managed to dress myself, brush my teeth and dress Scarlett [waking her beforehand] in the space of 8 minutes. Then I grabbed my lunch and off we went. We dropped her off at my Nan’s, swung by McDonald’s for a breakfast wrap then drove to my work. I got in the office for 7:55am. I start at 8!

I forgot to say the other day that I ordered a bunch of stuff for H&M for Scarlett. For our holiday. I got her a handful of dresses, some shorts and 2 pairs of shoes. I got her a pair of navy blue sandals and a pair of water/beach shoes. Very excited about those as I am hoping she will use them on all 3 of our holidays this year.

I also forgot to say mom and I have booked a week away Glamping in September. We are going to Notgrove in Gloucestershire. Just me, her and Scarlett. Should be fun.

On lunch now, watching Lucifer on Amazon Video.

TTFN x

Bank holiday weekend

Wednesday 24th:

Spent most of my day catching up with BBC news for more updates on the Manchester arena attack. More names were released over the victims who died. An 8 year old girl! What the actual fuck? She’s a child. Her life cut short. And to what end? What reason? I can’t even fathom what this world has come to! As a mother, this cut deep. 10 years from now, that could’ve been me and Scarlett at a concert. I cannot even begin to imagine what that poor little girls family are going through right now. All the families.

Thursday 25th:

2 years ago today I found out I was pregnant. I still remember it vividly to this day. I had been unwell with some kind of bug type thing and someone asked me if I was maybe pregnant? I laughed. Said of course not, I can’t get pregnant! Then I checked my period tracking app and realised I was in my “due on time frame”. I have very wonky periods. Some months I have a perfect 28 day cycle and other months I can wait 6-8 weeks for one. At this point I was on cycle day 34 so well within in my “I’m due on” frame. So I thought hmmm I’ll do a test. So I grabbed this cheap line one from my friend and did the deed. When I looked down I could not believe my eyes. Two lines. Albeit one line was faint. The positive line. But it was a line. I felt like I was on drugs. Everything was so surreal. I didn’t believe it. So I ended up taking another test the next day and the days after until I ended up making it “clearblue official” lol

Scarlett celebrates her 16 months today. She’s so cheeky and clever. She still only has 6 teeth but she’s definitely getting more. Hopefully soon.

Friday 26th:

Payday bitches lol spent £53 online at H&M on summer stuff for Scarlett. Got 20% off because I am a H&M member. Woohoo lol

Me and Amelia went for lunch at work together. We went to the harvester around the road. It was nice just us 2.

My mom worked the night so it was just me and Scarlett. The usual. I watched some tele, had a shower then read my book. I’m reading the latest Alex Cross book. I love it! I’ve read all 23 previous ones.

I came across a heart wrenching tribute on ITV before I went to bed. See below:

https://www.facebook.com/itvnews/videos/10154828722872672/
Saturday 27th:

Scarlett missed out on breakfast with me and mom as she wasn’t awake at 7:30 when mom got in from work with a McDonald’s breakfast. She woke up about 20 minutes after so she ended up just having a hash brown instead of a wrap. She wasn’t overly fussed tbh and she had a bottle, watched some teletubbies and then I put her up for a nap because she asked to go. She kept rubbing her eyes so I asked if she wanted a nap and she pointed at the stairs, got off my lap and walked to the stair gate. She didn’t settle in bed until about an hour after though. I listened to her talking to herself for ages. I watched NCIS from Friday and then I read more of my book. Scarlett settled and I must’ve fell asleep on the sofa because next time I know, the monitor is lit up and she’s crying. So I go up and sort her out. Get her dressed and off we go to my Nan’s house. As she hasn’t had lunch yet I defrosted her a shepherds pie but she wouldn’t eat it. She just wanted her bottle so I gave her some milk. Then she played. In and out the garden all day. She got her outfit soaking wet so I changed her into a new vest and a clean shirt so she could continue playing. We ended up staying for dinner then we came home.

She had a bath, watched 1 episode of teletubbies then up to bed she went with her bottle. She went straight to sleep as she had skipped her afternoon nap so she must’ve been shattered.

I’m watching 12 monkeys on Netflix and enjoying a quiet Saturday evening. Mom’s working tonight so again it’s just us 2.

TTFN x

My heart breaks for Manchester

Friday 19th:

We got to Brett’s at 6:45. Surprisingly Scarlett hadn’t napped on the journey. She was very tired but she perked up when we arrived. We had dinner and then she had a bath then went to bed. Brett was grumpy because he is trying to quit smoking and the withdrawal is obviously too much for him.

Saturday 20th:

Brett got up with us quite early (though I suspect it was under sufferance on his part). We had breakfast then I dressed Scarlett and we went out. We went to visit Brett’s cousins. When we got back home we had some lunch then Scarlett had a nap. We decided to go to the cinema later so we had our dinner and Brett sorted out Scarlett for her bath before we left. We watched “Guardians of the Galaxy: Volume 2”. It was brilliant. I am glad we went. Scarlett was very well behaved for his mom and went to bed at about 9ish. We got back at 10:45 and there was a film on tele. I was shattered [off energy drinks still] so I climbed into bed. I must’ve nodded off as Brett woke me up climbing into bed at 1:30am.

Sunday 21st:

Scarlett woke up at 5:30am. I gave her a bottle and put her back down for a nap. Once she was up again at 8 I got her some toast with fruit for breakfast. She ate it all then I dressed her. Once she was dressed I tackled the task of getting Brett up at a reasonable time. We went out at 10:30. We walked to his foster brother’s football tournament about 20 minutes down the road. I hadn’t prepared for sunny weather because, England. So Scarlett had no sun hat or shorts etc. I kept her in the shade but I got massively sunburnt. That’ll teach me lol we had pizza when the tournament was done then we got the train home. We were home by about 7ish. Scarlett had bath, bottle and bed. I chilled and caught up with tele.

Monday 22nd:

Back to work today. Was 8 minutes late because just as we were leaving at 7:30, Scarlett did an explosive poo through her tights and vest so I had to sort her out, undress, clean and then re-dress her in new clothes. Nightmare. So we were late leaving for work. I met Mom for lunch so we could do some food shopping. We had chicken for lunch. She dropped me back for 2pm. She picked me up at 5:10pm [made up my late 8 minutes]. Scarlett was bathed when we got in. I had my dinner and she stole one of my chicken fillets, little moo. I put her up to bed at 6:45 as she was getting grumpy but she wouldn’t go down. Her room was saying it was 26 degrees. Too hot. So I put her fan on and the room cooled. She was asleep by about 8ish. Mom and I watched tele together. We tried to share a bottle of rosé but I hate wine so I only drank half my glass [shocking I know]. I went to bed about 11ish.

Tuesday 23rd:

I woke up this morning to messages from American pals asking me if I was okay? Apparently some vile scumbags decided to bomb Manchester Arena last night after Ariana Grande’s concert. My pals were concerned as they have no clue how close or far I live to Manchester, and they’d seen the news reports [being hours behind the UK]. I assured them I was fine, so was Scarlett. Then I switched BBC on and looked at the news reports over what happened. My heart hurts for my country. For all the innocent people. For the teenagers/children who went to the concert not expecting anything more than just a fun night. The reports say that there are 22 confirmed dead and almost 60 people injured. I am in disbelief but at the same time it is almost “oh there has been a bombing incident, again”. It is scary that these events do not shock or surprise me anymore. Either I am numb to some of the BS in the world or I am just desensitised. However on the other hand I feel like bursting into tears at the drop of a hat. I have a child. This is her world. This is where she will grow up [if she is lucky]. How do I protect her from these things when they happen randomly? Like who knew that attending that concert may be the last thing they do? No one! I have a friend who lives nearby-ish. I am thankful she has a toddler same as me, was home and away from it. I can’t imagine what people must be going through today, those who have lost someone, those who’s friends/family are injured and those few who have missing people. My heart goes to them.

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I am on lunch and I am trying to block it all out by binging on Netflix with my headphones on.

TTFN x

Mom is home!

Tuesday 16th:

Today is my mom’s birthday. She is in Cyprus so we haven’t celebrated it with her. I sent her a “Happy Birthday” message and posted pics of Scarlett holding her birthday card that said “to nanny”, so that will have to do for now.

I had a half day today as I had a job interview scheduled for 3pm and Scarlett had the dentist at 5pm. So I left work at 12. Had lunch at my nan’s house. Chilled for a bit. Scarlett woke up before I left for my interview so I kissed her goodbye and off I went. It seemed to go okay. I got back to my nan’s for dinner and then we went to the dentist. She was really good.

Wednesday 17th:

I had lunch with my friend Rachel. She used to work with me at Mitie but she left on Monday. As I was off sick Monday I missed her farewell. Her and 2 other friends went for lunch, without me! So we agreed us 2 would meet. So we did. But the place nearby that we picked was unexpectedly closed so we ended up in McDonald’s. It was nice seeing her and chatting. We only ever use to have lunch together every other week as her lunch times alternated. One week she was on 12-1 and the other she was 1-2. I was always 1-2. She dropped me back to the office when we were done.

Thursday 18th:

I had my coil fitting appointment scheduled in for 08:50. I felt so dizzy and sick because my head was bad again so I called in sick. My manager said to mention it to my doc so I did. She did my BP and said it was low, so not a cause for concern. She reckoned it was most likely down to my hayfever stuffing my head up. So I had my coil fitted. People lie. Every female I spoke to about the subject said it was a “mild discomfort”, similar to a smear. I have had a smear. This was NOTHING like that, I tell ya! Honestly, the pain from a c-section hurt less than having this tiny device fitted! Also, they had to try twice as the first one they tried, popped back out due to “a narrow passage” [don’t even ask] so after two attempts, it is in! Success! We really do not want a baby in the foreseeable. I think this thing will most likely remain where it is for at least 3 years, but we shall see, I could change my mind in 18 months [not likely though]. I went back home after it was fitted because blood, and pain. I laid on the sofa for a while. At 3ish I walked to my nan’s and ended up staying for my dinner then me and Scarlett walked home.

She was so unhappy and she had so many nasty poos. She did 2 before Nursery, 2 at Nursery and my Nan had changed 1 before I arrived at 3. She then did 1 more not long after I got there, and then before bath time she had done 1 more. And then she got in the bath and did 1 in the bath. She was traumatised because I had to use the shower to hose her, and the bath, down. She screamed like I was murdering her. I fully expected my neighbours to pop by and check she was ok lol she had her bottle and went straight to bed. No fuss. I was really concerned about her, 8 poos is excessive. I am hoping it is just teething, not a bellyache/bug. I will check her a few times before I go to bed just in case she has pooed and not woke up. I don’t want her to get a sore butt.

Friday 19th:

Today I woke up late so didn’t have chance to eat breakfast. My mom got back from Cyprus in the night. She flew in at midnight but didn’t get home until gone 2 I think. She heard us get up so she came down to say Hi. Scarlett was more interested in watching Teletubbies. The usual lol my grandad picked us up, we swung by McDonald’s so I could grab breakfast then he dropped me at work. I had my first subway experience today. Note to myself for the future: make sure the steak doesn’t have peppers and onions in it. Spent 10 minutes digging through to pick them all out. So gross lol

We are due to go to Brett’s later. Aiming to get the 6pm train. I hope Scarlett isn’t as grumpy tonight as she was yesterday because it makes the journey much more stressful than it already is.

TTFN x

Monday migraine

Tuesday 9th:

Nothing exciting happened. Work. Home. Tele with mama. The usual.

Wednesday 10th:

Mom’s last night before she goes away so her and her boyfriend had dinner when he got there. I’d already eaten something else before that.

Thursday 11th:

Mom and her boyfriend flew to Cyprus today. She did the normal routine of driving me to work and dropping Scarlett at nursery. My grandad picked me up from work and I had dinner at their house before walking Scarlett home. Night 1 alone was a success. She went to bed normal time. I caught up on tele and then went to bed myself.

Friday 12th:

My manager told me I could leave work at 4:30 instead of 5pm as a thank you for manning the office. It felt naughty packing up and walking out. But I do appreciate the sentiment. I quite enjoyed being on my own for 1.5 days. I got a lot a fair amount done as I felt free to do it all in my own stride.

Saturday 13th:

We stayed indoors in the morning. I got some chores done. At lunch we popped to town so I could get my haircut. Scarlett was so well behaved. She sat in her stroller next to my seat at the salon, and just happily ate her carrot stick crisps whilst I had my hair washed, cut and blow dried. They were really impressed with her.


After my haircut we grabbed some lunch in BK and she shared my chicken and chips. Then we headed to my nan’s for a cuppa. We ended up staying for dinner. I had egg for the first time in almost 2 years. I went right off it when I was newly pregnant because it made me nauseous. I had some and I didn’t feel sick. However I also didn’t particularly enjoy eating it. So I think I’ll leave egg out for the foreseeable.

Sunday 14th:

Had a bad head when I woke up. I took some paracemtol but it didn’t shift all day. We went for a carvery with my grandparents and my nan’s brother (my great uncle) and his partner. Scarlett ate a lot, she loves peas and runner beans. We went back to my uncles house after for a cuppa and scarlett explored their front room. My grandad dropped us back home and my nan went off to my cousins baby shower.

Scarlett had some fruit for dinner (more like supper) and then bath, bottle and bed. She’s so good. I really can’t fault her. Even if she is a little monkey and climbs EVERY DAMN THING lol

I had a shower after she went to bed then I tidied up the lounge, washed up our dirty plates etc and then caught up on tele. I finally finished watched the season finale of Vampire Diaries. Can’t believe it’s over for good. How can they do that to me lol

Monday 15th (today):

Woke up with a seriously bad head so I called in sick. Sent Scarlett on her way to nursery and climbed back into bed. I felt a bit better when I got back up. I had something to eat then I did some more tidying up. Whenever I’m off sick, if I am able, I try to be productive. I hate just sitting around.

Scarlett got dropped off at 4:30. She went straight in the bath and then we played together for an hour or so. At 6:15 she wanted to go to bed so I made her bottle and took her up. She fell about 7ish when I was cooking my dinner.

I’m just watching some tele. The house is clean. The washing is almost done. Her bag for nursery is packed.

TTFN x

4 wake ups

Tuesday 2nd:

Today was Princess Charlotte’s 2nd birthday. It came up on my Facebook memories because I shared the announcement when she was born. I love the royals!

Wednesday 3rd:

I had the dentist today. I haven’t been since a follow up in July after my wisdom teeth extract surgery. For the first time in 2 years the dentist actually said my teeth were “fine” and didn’t require a cleaning, filling or whatever else. Pretty pleased with that because my maternity exemption ran out in January and I haven’t got money to pay for extras lol

I caught up with Pretty Little Liars. I can’t believe this season is the final one. Sad times!

Thursday 4th:

Blindspot catch up. As well as other shows. My focus is back a little. I can watch a whole episode and not feel fidgety. Progress! Brett got here at midnight. His face really annoyed me. I don’t know why. We had a row and went to bed.

Friday 5th:

We got up, Scarlett had breakfast then we headed off to the Harry Potter Tour in London. She fell asleep on the bus to the studio and we were early so Brett and I grabbed a sandwich in the studio cafe. The tour was brill but busy. They have added A LOT since I went with Reggie in 2014.


Scarlett did really well considering she wasn’t in the stroller much. We did take it with us rather than giving it to the information desk [they lock it away]. But she walked around the tour, mostly. We tried Butterbeer [Scarlett loved it] and I took home the souvenir mini tankard. We left at 4ish and headed for the bus back to the station. We got off the train at home just before 7 so my nan dropped us home. We had a good day. We got a lot of pics including the obligatory ones they do where you “ride a broom” lol we had dinner once she was in bed then we watched the Equaliser. Love a bit of Denzel.

Saturday 6th:

Today we went out at lunch to my Nan’s house. We had lunch then we got in the car to visit my aunt. It was a flying visit. My nan and Debbie had a cuppa. Scarlett played with the twins. I had a banging headache when we left so we stopped off at a shop so I could get some paracetamol and a drink. It took over an hour for it to fade away let alone go away. Eurgh! Hate those heads. We stayed at my nan’s for dinner and ended up going up the chippy. My grandparents, Brett and Scarlett had fish and chips. I had chicken curry [my version]. After dinner we went to Asda as Scarlett needed milk and then we went home. We got her in bed by 9 then we climbed into bed to watch Fantastic Beasts. Scarlett woke up really upset, coughing, tears and just overall unhappy. Brett saw to her. Took ages to settle her, she was not very happy. Managed to lay her back in bed eventually and we continued watching the film then we went to bed.

Sunday 7th:

Scarlett woke up at 8am but as she had been up in the night I gave her a bottle and put her back down. She slept until about 10ish. I just did some washing up and caught up with Riverdale. I woke Brett and asked if he was coming with us to visit my gran. He said no but he would get up and shower etc whilst we were out then meet us at my Nan’s when we were back as we were having dinner there. So I left with Scarlett at 10:30. We visited my gran and bumped into my nan’s sister who was visiting too. We left at 12ish and headed home. We detoured via my house and Brett was still asleep, as I predicted he would be. So I woke him, he jumped in the shower and I left. He came round my nan’s when he was ready. We had dinner. Scarlett played and then she had her supper then we went home. I bathed her, he dressed her so I could shower then she went to bed. We watched Harry Potter 6 then my mom got home so we chatted for a bit then we got into bed.

Monday 8th:

Scarlett had woken up once before we had gone to bed. In the night she woke a total of 4 times. Twice she was just crying, and twice she was coughing so much she woke up. Bless her. We had already agreed he would stay home with her today so he did. She didn’t wake up until 9:30, bless her. They had a good morning then they jumped in the car with my mom who picked me up from work so we could go food shopping. They picked me back up from work at 5. Brett went home at 7. Mom and I had dinner after I had bathed Scarlett. I put her to bed before we ate but it took her a while to drop off. She’s very fussy. But she’s asleep now so we are just watching Little Boy Blue.

TTFN x

5 months in

So we didn’t end up going to Godstone farm on Saturday :(

Saturday 29th:

I woke up in the early hours after tossing and turning all night. I felt sick. Scarlett had woken up because she had a dirty nappy. My stomach was already turning and the smell didn’t help. By the grace of god I managed to change her without hurling but I knew I was seconds from doing so, so I slammed the stair gate shut and pegged it into the toilet. I tried to shut Scarlett out but she was right behind me, hanging off my legs. I was sick. I cleared up and turned round. She was giving me the most judgmental look. I was like “it isn’t self inflicted this time”. I went into the bathroom to wash up, brush my teeth etc and I was sick again. This time there was blood. I won’t lie, it did freak me out a bit and it brought back memories of what I was newly pregnant. I ended up in hospital for 3 days because I coughed up blood. My throat was sore from being sick so quickly so I assumed I had damaged my throat – hence the blood. I woke my mom up so she could take over with Scarlett. She sorted her a bottle then put her back down for a nap. I went back to bed.

I woke up about 10ish and I felt better, surprisingly. I avoided having any food. I just had some water. My mom said she planned to take Scarlett out as planned but not to Godstone Farm. She said she was going to take her to a nearer one so we got ready and went to the Trilakes nearby. Apart from being exhausted and not feeling able to walk too much without sitting down, we had a good afternoon. Scarlett loved looking at everything and we even managed to convince her to feed the goats.


We went to my nan’s after for a cuppa tea and then we went home. Scarlett had dinner, bath and went to bed. I had my dinner and then after I watched Riverdale on my iPad I went to bed. Must’ve fell asleep by about 9pm [fitbit says so].

Sunday 30th:

We were going out so we got up and had breakfast. Scarlett was cleaned up [messy breakfast] then I dressed her. We got in the car and off we went. It took us 90 minutes to get to East Grinstead. Not too bad. We were going to this bus thing. My mom’s boyfriend loves old buses and stuff, and they do these “shows”, where you can get on one [free of charge] and ride it there and back. Scarlett did really well with them but as mom had told me not to bring the stroller, she was tired after she had her lunch in the cafe. Usually I would walk her round for a bit whilst she slept and I couldn’t. Next time I will do that. She did really well though. We went on a total of 5 buses [I think].


We went to the Wetherspoons for dinner. I had a hotdog and chips, with cheesy garlic bread. Scarlett shared my dinner, plus she had her fruit. She was SHATTERED! I changed her nappy before we got back in the car to head home. She was flat out snoring 10 minutes after we set off. She slept for over an hour. It was a danger nap [past 5pm] but it is a weekend, I don’t mind. I don’t see her much in the week because of working, and her going to bed at 7pm.

Monday 1st May:

So it is May. Where has the last 5 months gone? I feel like I have blanked and boom, almost half way through the year. I would say time flies when you’re having fun but I haven’t been in the best place recently to agree.

Scarlett got up at a normal time. She had a bottle, then played for a bit. Then she had some breakfast. I put her down for a nap shortly after and whilst she napped I watched some NCIS. When she got up we put our shoes on and headed out. We were going for dinner with my grandparents and it was 11:15 when she woke so I figured we might as well go round early, and she can play. So we did.

We went for dinner at 1ish. We went to the Harvester. Scarlett did really well considering she usually has her lunch at 12-12:30. She had cucumber, sweetcorn and bacon bits from the salad bar. Then she had cheesy garlic bread [deffo my kid] which was mine that I shared. She had char-grilled chicken strips with chips and peas for her main. She ate all the peas, some chicken and a few chips. She did so well. For someone so small she eats so well. After the harvester we nipped into Morrison’s and she wandered with my nan whilst I grabbed some bits. I got her some summery bits for our holidays. It will be hot in Italy, in the height of August, and it MAY be warm in July – we will have to see.

I am back to work tomorrow. I hate that Saturday felt like a write-off because I wasn’t well. We are off Friday because we are going to the Harry Potter studio tour in London. I went in 2014 and it was fab. They have changed a lot and added a lot to it so I am excited for that.

TTFN x