Everywhere I turn

Wednesday 15th:

Today we had a meeting with the guy we will be reporting to. He still hasn’t answered that many of our questions but he did say “as far as he knows we will remain in our current building and no one is losing their job”. So that is good news, providing that doesn’t change in a few months…

My mom worked the night so we had dinner and then she went off to work. I bathed Scarlett and then she did her “I don’t want to go to bed yet” thing so she played whilst I watched Emmerdale and did some washing. I took her up at 8ish. I then got in the bath and it was lovely to relax. Used one of my face masks lol

Thursday 16th:

The day felt long. I felt tired. I think donating 1 pint of my rare blood had finally caught up with me. Mom couldn’t be arsed to cook so we grabbed dinner on my way home from work. Scarlett had a happy meal. She had a cheese burger and chips, same as me (I had a quarter pounder). Mom was working again so she went off to work and I got Scarlett bathed and ready for bed. I didn’t even try to put her down for 7pm. I let her watch Emmerdale with me. She facetimed Brett and then I put her down at 8:30pm. I watched some tele and packed our stuff as we are going to Brett’s tomorrow.

I think I know approximately 15-20 people who are pregnant at the moment. Whether they are newly pregnant, midway through, about to drop or have literally JUST had their baby. And I just feel like everywhere I turn there is a pregnant person/new mom. All I hear is baby this, pregnancy that. I understand it is exciting, and people who are having their first it is super exciting. And I hate being such a grumpy cunt but I just don’t have the mental energy to fake interest. Don’t get me wrong, I do have people who I have a real interest in and want to hear things, so I go out of my way to ask. Like my friend was due March 14th so I’ve been following her pregnancy for 9 months and I am super excited for the baby to arrive safely, so I am actively interested and I speak to her every other day asking her how she is doing etc. But everyone just seems to be popping up at the same time announcing they are pregnant. And they are people who I have listened to whinging for over a year about how hard being a parent is, so I am wondering why the fuck they would want baby number 2. There is a select few ladies who I am happy for because I know they’ve been actively trying and it is brill news. But some I am just proper eye-rolling at and I can’t help myself. I think it stems from the fact that Brett and I had a near miss recently and it made me realise just how much I DO NOT WANT to be pregnant. I love Scarlett as she is and she is entering a new age group which means she will get more challenging, but also more independent. And I am super excited for that. The thought of having to experience that whilst pregnant/looking after a small baby just makes me want to vom lol but that is just me. I think it is also because of my situation. Me and Brett have yet to hit the 1 year mark. We don’t live together and that isn’t the plan for the near future. I doubt if we will move in together much before next year, mid next year possibly.

My aims for this year are to change jobs (at some point), move out (am already saving and have a plan in place) and enroll Scarlett in swimming lessons before she is 2.

I am just finishing up watching NCIS then I am going to bed.

TTFN x

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