Blood appointment

Tuesday Scarlett’s dad came over to see her for a while. He was very quiet. Not that I mind. I don’t have much to say to him. Believe it or not, I don’t actually like him. I’m civil and for the most part polite but it’s simply because I don’t feel it’s necessary to be rude to each other.

Wednesday he messaged me saying the child maintenance people had got in touch with him. He claims he was surprised because I had not mentioned I’d contacted them (Yes I had mentioned it). He is now saying he wants a DNA (yet when I offered it a month ago, he said he didn’t need it. Funny how money changes things). I said fine you can have one but if you’re having doubt then perhaps it’s best if you don’t see her until the DNA is done? I think that’s fairly reasonable. It’s too fickle for everyone if he’s seeing her but isn’t convinced she’s his child (she is, btw). He then twisted it back saying I was stopping him see her. Not at all what I said. It took all my energy to stay calm in my replies. I left him to it and didn’t expect to hear from him but after work he messaged saying he’s looked at DNA tests online and doesn’t think he can afford to have it done. He asked me if I knew why he wanted one done. I replied that it’s because we were not in a relationship together. He said “no its because you were sleeping around”. Umm excuse me? So sleeping with him means I’m automatically sleeping with everyone apparently. Then he went on to say that “well you must’ve been, you put out for me the first time”. Well when the whole point of meeting is for “a bit of fun”, it would be weird NOT to, right? Plus, I didn’t have sex by myself. He was there too. So HE put out on the first time we met too. Duh! Then he said “oh well you obviously don’t use condoms”. Ummm actually 95% I do. But with him I wasn’t “sleeping around” with anyone else so when we BOTH decided to just do it without on the 5th or 6th time (not the first) we met, I didn’t think it was a big deal. I knew I was “clean”. I trusted he was. I believed (from what I’d been told at 21) that I wouldn’t get pregnant. And I did. Massive shocker. But I don’t regret it. Why would I? I have a gorgeous girl now, who I never thought I’d ever have.

So yeah, he’s been a tad ridiculous and has spoken to me like that. I’m the mother of his child, (oh no wait “potential” mother), he should show a little bit more respect.

I was really rather upset by the whole thing to be honest. It makes me regret ever going out of my way to write that letter. I should’ve just left well alone. But shit happens and here we are!!!

Thursday I had booked a day off. I tidied up. I hoovered and washed up. At 2ish mom took me to Southwood community centre as I had booked to donate blood. I haven’t been to a donation since 2012. Previous to that it had been a year and I’d been banned due to low haemoglobin levels. Thankfully the prick test showed my level was fine. It was surprising given the pregnancy, the c-section and the blood loss. I had an extra sample taken as I’ve joined the national bone marrow registry. I did my donation and shockingly I didn’t pass out when the blood left my body. 3 times in the past I’ve been laid there after it’s been done and I’ve just passed out. My body really cannot hack it lol but this time I was okay.

I went to the rest area, had a drink and some biscuits then we left to pick Scarlett up from my Nan’s. I had missed her a lot. She’s just my whole world. My heart aches when she cries, it swells when she smiles or laughs and with pride when she learns something new.

Today was children in need. My work were doing dress up for it and I wasn’t in so I agreed to dress Scarlett up in something spotty and send it in. So I did.

I got picked up by my grandad at 12.30. We swung by the nursery to collect Scarlett then we met my Nan at Morrisons. I grabbed a few bits for lunches at work then I went back with them to their house. Mom picked us up and we went home for dinner etc.

Scarlett hasn’t long gone to bed. She was up and I thought seeing as she’s up I’ll keep her up as Brett is on his way but she started flagging so I put her to bed. She’ll be super excited to see him tomorrow. I can’t wait. I love how excited she gets.

I’ve just made my bed and now I’m gonna chill till he gets here. He was working today so he’s not gonna be here until like 11 or whatever.

Can’t wait for him to get here. I’ve had such a shit week since Wednesday.



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