9 months

Well the weekend wasn’t half bad except for kind of arguing with my dad about the situation with Harry plus Brett and I constantly back and forth about it as well.

Saturday me and Scarlett got the train down to my dad’s. We stayed at theirs till lunch. Scarlett was playing on the floor with everyone. Then we put her in the stroller and walked to the pub down the road for dinner. I had a delicious grilled chicken burger with chips. I had cheesy garlic for a starter and I shared with Scarlett. She loves cheese, and garlic it seems. We walked back to dad’s. My stepmom, my sister and me wanted to pop to town so we left Scarlett with my dad and off we went. We went into H&M and I got her this lush navy blue sparkly dress. I am thinking she can either wear on Christmas day or her birthday. It is lovely. I also got her a pair of fur lined boots. They are too big but she’ll wear them once she is walking. My stepmom got her 3 different grey jumpers and some gloves.

We got the train home at 5:20pm. Mom picked us up the other end and we went home. Harry and I agreed to meet Sunday lunch time instead of next Sunday as we were both free. I wanted to get it out of the way for 2 reasons.

  1. I couldn’t bear waiting. The anxiety in my stomach over it was driving me insane
  2. I needed to know if we could be in the same room as each other and it not be awkward. We hadn’t been face-to-face in 18 months, since the night Scarlett was conceived. So I had no idea what it would be like to see him.

Sunday I got up with Scarlett. Fed her. She slept a lot. Woke up for porridge. Had a little play. She was due a feed at 12ish so I fed her then she napped. She woke up at 1pm when Harry turned up. I could tell he wanted to play with her but (appreciatively) he asked me first if he could. He sat on the floor with her, playing. She was climbing all over him, giggling etc. I needed the loo so I nipped upstairs quickly. She usually would whinge if I left her but she didn’t. She just carried on playing. That was nice.

He came with some gifts. He bought her a multicolored cardigan (it is lush) and some velvety trousers. He and I chatted. A bit about the past but also about what we expect from the future. He picked her up and she sat with him. I took a few pictures. Mostly so that she has proof that he did at least see her once, even IF he does decide he doesn’t want to see her again. They are for her memory box.


I am not sure when he will see her next. Maybe the end of the week. We don’t want to overload her so he only stayed for an hour. And next time will only be an hour too.

After he left I walked Scarlett round my nan’s. She was asleep, again, so I left her there so me and Mom could go back to Vodafone to finish upgrading my iPhone. I am getting the iPhone 6S in Rose Gold, 32GB with 5GB of data and unlimited texts and calls. I can’t wait for that and my iPad to be delivered to store.

Yesterday (Monday) Scarlett was 39 weeks. She is so sassy. She loves waving at people and giggling. She is teething I think. Officially. As her butt is red raw and she cried when I wiped her when she had a dirty nappy. My poor baby. She had a salty bath to help keep it clean and heal better.

She had me up at 3am because she had pooped in the night and she was sore. After I changed her I put her in my bed to sleep with me. She slept till 5:30am then was up. She wouldn’t go back to sleep lol

Today my little princess is 39 weeks plus 1 day, which is precisely how far I was when she was yanked from my uterus after 2 days of induced early labour. She is also 9 months!!! I have a 5 inch scar and more stretch marks than before but I wouldn’t change any of that. She is my world. I love to show her off but at the same time I hate sharing her. Although that said, I share her with Brett already and we manage. I think we can safely figure out how to share her with Harry and his family too.


Harry is coming round tomorrow evening. Not sure what time but obviously it’ll be between 5:30 and 8 as she usually gets ready for bed no later than 8.

Brett is coming down this weekend and Scarlett is having her 9 month pictures done. I want some of me and her, some of her on her own and some of us 3 together. Maybe I shouldn’t do that because “he’s not her dad” but tough shit. He and I are in this for the long haul. We’ve had little wobbles, and big ones, but all that matters is we love each other. And he’s been the constant male figure in her life since she was 10 weeks old. To her, he IS daddy. And he still will be. She’ll just be lucky like I was and have 2.



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