Day off

Today Scarlett had her 8-12 month health visitor review. She did fab. They said that most babies get at least one mark in the grey or black area, which is totally normal. But all her marks were in the white. Go Scarlett!

Let’s review this week. It has been a very overwhelming and slightly stressful week.

Monday Scarlett was 38 weeks old…

Right. It all started on when I got a call from a woman saying she was a researcher for the Jeremy Kyle show. Apparently she had read my email from months ago (I had asked for their help in finding Scarlett’s dad). She reckoned they could help but needed some more background information. So we chatted and then she said she was going to try to get hold of him. She said she would call me back tomorrow if she had an update.

Tuesday I got a call off the lady in the morning saying she had apparently got hold of him via his grandparents. She claimed he was rude and angry. He claimed he didn’t know me at first, then tried saying the baby probably wasn’t his as I had “slept around”. I was furious. Who wouldn’t be. She said she would try him again and speak to his grandmother but that may not get anywhere, however she would keep me in the loop.

Wednesday I received an inbox message on my Facebook from a young-ish girl. She said she had opened a letter that had come to her house, addressed to her mom. She said she thinks she knows who I am looking for. She asked for a contact number but I was wary because it could’ve been a cruel hoax. So I asked how she may know the person? And she replied “he is my brother”. Mind blown. I gave my number and she said she had just rung their mom and she was coming over then she would call me. About half hour later she called. She was in tears saying she had no idea about me and the baby. She was disappointed in Harry for not telling anyone. She wanted to meet me, she said she didn’t mind if I didn’t bring the baby with me, she just wanted to talk. I said to come over when I finished work. So I spent the rest of the day totally unfocused. This was such a big deal. As stupid as it was I felt like I had to make a good impression, even though why do I need to? He left me with the baby. I have done everything for her, and done my utmost to keep her fed, happy and healthy.

So they came over at 5:30. We hadn’t long got home. Scarlett was playing on the floor. She brought her daughter (Harry’s sister) with her, as support I guess. We chatted. She said that she had spoken to Harry and he said the show had lied or at least exaggerated what had been said. I said I figured as much because whilst I was mad he had supposedly said that stuff, part of me didn’t think he would have said it. She says she was heading to his on her way home to discuss properly everything. She said they (her, and the family) wanted to be part of Scarlett’s (and effectively my) lives even IF he doesn’t. I told her that if he wants a DNA he can have it. No issues. I have NOTHING to hide. She is his daughter, 1000000000000%. She asked if she could give him my number. I agreed, obviously.

He later text me saying “thanks for seeing my mom and sister. I have seen some pictures of Scarlett and she is adorable” (yeah, no, duh!). “I hope we could arrange something in the future.” I replied with “yes hopefully we can. There is honestly no hard feelings. I just want what is best for Scarlett”.

Thursday (yesterday) I woke up with a nasty migraine. I haven’t had a proper one like that for a long time. It threw me. But I should’ve guessed I’d have one as I was due a period. I called in sick, waved Scarlett off to nursery and climbed into bed with my special eye mask (goes in the fridge) and some meds. I managed to successfully sleep it off in 4 hours, without being sick. Winning!

Brett and I had been rowing on and off since I had told him what had happened. He feels a bit pushed out. Then he wouldn’t speak to me. I can see this is going to be a struggle because he cannot see the bigger picture.

Today (Friday) Scarlett had her 8-12 month review with the health visitors. She did brilliantly. She showed off all her skills lol including her newly perfected “wave”. The health visitor said most babies have 1 or 2 scores in the black or grey bit on the chart, which is TOTALLY normal, but she had all hers in the white. My clever little jellybean. They weighed her at the appointment and did her height. She weighs 13 lb 14 oz, keeping her evenly on the 2nd centile but her height puts her on the 50th centile. She is 69cm. My little leggy blonde (currently, will turn dark eventually).

After her appointment we did our food shopping then we went to my nan’s so we could go with her to Costco to stock up on the bare necessities such as loo roll and bread etc. She doesn’t seem herself at the moment. She keeps coming down all feverish, dose her with some calpol and she’s okay but very grumpy and grizzly. I don’t know why. She has had this viral thing for almost a fortnight now. Maybe it is that? We went to Vodafone because I wanted to upgrade my shitty iPhone and my iPad is due for upgrade too. Whilst waiting a youth managed to steal and make off with one of the display phones. Madness!

Harry and I made plans to meet in town next Sunday. I just hope he shows up otherwise I will think he is messing us around. I won’t stand for that. He cannot be in and out. She needs stability.

Going to my dad’s tomorrow for the day. Hopefully we will have a nice day and I can forget about Brett and me arguing.

TTFN x

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