I bought my first ever purchase for the baby yesterday. I had been looking online at all things baby from furniture to bathing to toys. I had no intentions of purchasing anything as I’m only just hitting 10 weeks so it’s still “early” but I came across a 3 piece furniture set that was on sale. It was originally £500 but it was down to £280. Unfortunately the deal runs out on July 17th and I don’t get paid till the 27th. I don’t have the whole amount available so I just put it down as unfortunate timing. I showed it to everyone and said how I liked it. My moms partner asked me how much I liked it? I said “if I had the money I’d buy it now, even though it’s early” so he agreed to pay for it on his credit card and I’ll pay him back when I get paid. It was very thoughtful of him. So we ordered it and it’ll arrive on July 23rd. I’m excited because it’s the first thing I’ve bought for the baby. Once I’ve had my 12 week scan I can go and buy a few bits here and there. Once I find out the gender I can go buy more bits.
I don’t know why I want a boy but I just do. It’s probably because I’ve only ever really looked after little boys so I’m used to them. I have a name picked out for both genders. For a boy I like Henry Jason and for a girl I like Scarlett Rose.
I’ve felt a bit hormonal this evening. I went to bingo with my Nan as I can’t stand being a home at the moment. All it seems to bring is stress and annoyance. When I got home I just came over all sad and started crying. I was thinking about how my child won’t have a father figure because his/her father doesn’t want to know. But also I just realised that the reason you’re meant to go through pregnancy in a couple is because when the woman is feeling down, feeling sick or whatever, the guy is meant to help cheer her up and help her feel better. I don’t have that. You could argue that I have family but I’ll be honest, I’m not sure that they are able to support me emotionally. Which is what I need. And I get the feeling that me being pregnant is now a burden because the initial novelty has worn off.