He blocked me

So the “father” has blocked me on Whatsapp. He basically called me a liar* and says I have trapped him. He also says I am being unfair to him because I didn’t give him the choice between keeping it or getting rid. YES I DIDN’T give him “a choice”, there IS NO CHOICE. I could not even begin to consider the alternative. It is not an option so I am sorry but it makes NO SENSE for me to say that option to him knowing full well I have no intentions of ever doing it. It was better, and far more honest, for me to say to him “Hi, I am pregnant and I wanted you to know. I am keeping it and I would prefer you were a part of it but I understand if that isn’t what you want”. I totally get what he is saying, I really do. He is saying that this shouldn’t have happened and he shouldn’t be forced to be a father but he is trying to force me into something I do not want. He isn’t listening to me. This isn’t just about what HE wants. So HE doesn’t want a baby right now? Well we made one and I cannot do what he’s telling me to do therefore he needs to live with it. I never asked him for anything, I never mentioned money or anything but as usual that was the FIRST thing he brought up when I first told. Typical. Does he genuinely think I am a some money grabbing whore? It’ll be tight on my own but I am not overly concerned as that isn’t anything new.

*He claims that I lied about my infertility issues. He reckons that I knew I would fall pregnant. As if! 3 years ago I was told I wouldn’t conceive naturally so if/when I wanted to try and conceive with a partner I would need to come speak to a doctor to discuss what medication to take. Therefore I never lied to him because this was not suppose to have happen but it has.

Everyone, except him, is really excited. I know my mom is. It is still early and obviously we don’t want to tempt fate so we agreed we wouldn’t buy anything until after my 12 weeks scan but we can’t wait for the early scan on June 13th. I just want to hear the baby’s heartbeat so I know there really is something cooking in there.

I had a great idea about how to tell my colleagues at work. My manager knows and she’s been brilliant. Two colleagues already know but the rest are completely in the dark. We have a suggestion box that we look at during our Friday morning meetings, even though a lot of the time it is empty we still bring it down to the meeting room. We have a meeting every week, always on a Friday between 8am and 9am. Well on the 19th June we have planned to have a breakfast meeting (to treat the team as we all works so hard) and we have all given a list of what we want for breakfast. I think that I should photocopy my scan photo from next weekend and write something on it like “I was 7 weeks when they took my picture but I have grown a whole week since but who is my mommy?” and watch as they all look around the meeting room table. Of course I will raise my hand and say “it is my bubba” and then wait for the hordes of questions. I asked my manager what she thought about that idea and she thinks it is a good one. What do you think? (feel free to leave a comment below)

I am going to the cinema tonight to watch Poltergeist. I will have dinner at the Harvester again but I shall eat a different dish this time to mix it up lol

TTFN x

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