Goodnight Tillie

2 days ago I watched 2 new movies. They were ones I’d never seen before. The Grand Budapest Hotel and Into The Woods. The first one was okay but a little weird. The second was a musical of sorts. Lots of famous British actors and actresses.

Today my momma took our cat (I use the term “our” loosely as I’ve never been a cat person and learning I’m allergic didn’t help either) to the vets this morning because she was previously diagnosed with kidney failure. My mom tried for months, many different ways, to get the stubborn tortoise-shell to swallow the damn tablets. It was a hellish ordeal and I don’t think the cat took half as many as she was meant to, due to spitting them out. Naughty! So, she was diagnosed a few years ago but in the last 6 months or so she’d become progressively worse. She started peeing everywhere and she seems forgetful about various things. Finally today my mom took her to the vets and they agreed it would be kinder to put her to sleep. She they did. My mom was with her. She was very upset about it when she came home. Which is understandable, obviously. The cat, called Tillie, was 19 so she’d had a good old long life and now she’s not suffering.

The same day, my nan and her siblings finally sorted the arrangements for putting their mother (my great-grandmother) into a residential care facility. She’s got dementia but she’s very sociable so they chose a place that offers the nursing side but allows her her freedom whilst she’s still capable of holding a conversation (sort of!) and only needing prompts to remember to brush her teeth etc. It is sad. To remember her how she was when I was child and how she is now. She doesn’t remember half her life, various people. She lacks the mental capacity to make the connections between people. She thinks me and my mom are sisters. We are use to it now and we see no reason in correcting her because she won’t retain that information so it’s useless trying.
I believe they’re hoping to move her in on Monday. They’ve discussed it with her, not that she will have a lot of say because it’s now gotten to a point where she cannot be left to live alone for fear of her safety. She no longer has control of the part of her brain that allows her to walk down her path and see the road and think “oh that’s a road, cars drive awfully fast down my road, I should wait and cross safely”. She would just walk across and probably end up being run down and left for dead. It’s brutal but true.
She seems to be all for it because her dementia is at the stage where she thinks the day centre part of this residential place, where she spends 2 days a week already, is where she “works” so she’s taken this whole thing as “well I’m buying a new house so I can work in the centre full time”. It’s not a bad thing to think and we are all relieved she’s took it so well.

Speaking of Monday. I have a job interview at 11am at a company I previously worked for about 2 years ago. It would be comforting working in a building I’ve been in before.

My eye has been swollen for a few days. Bloody allergies. I am hoping it’ll go down before the interview. My nose is finally unblocked. However all the blowing it with a tissue has caused my nostrils to become sore, the skin to split and now I have scabby bits on my nose :(

I have no plans this weekend. To start off the week I had plans but they’ve changed because someone I’ve been chatting to has decided to be a right tool. It’s a shame because he seemed like a nice guy but I guess not.



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