I Miss My Marine

Yep, you guessed it, Marine Guy is back. Not that he actually went anywhere but we hadn’t spoken in a while and I hadn’t mentioned him on here for some time. Talking to him has reminded me of how much I liked him.
I think the problem I had when we met was that he was good looking, had a hot body but he was so nice and friendly. He wasn’t a jerk. I’m not saying all good looking men are ginormous self involved cocks but 90% of them are. He wasn’t. At all. So I started to think: Wow he’s got the whole package. He’s single, friendly, so damn hot and he’s not much older than me. Therefore it makes sense that he’d have to move away. He’s perfect so the universe stuck it’s two fingers up at me and off he went, up north!

He says he wants to try and come down to see him before Christmas. I hope he does but deep down I don’t think he will. It’s a shame as I do like him and he still refers to me as his “girlfriend”. We spent 2 hours chatting tonight on Facebook. I miss him.

Another guy, probably the only other guy, that I “like” is my BFF. Shits gotten a little estranged between us. Ever since I had a shit day at work, my last day it turned out, and asked if he could come cheer me up that night and he said he couldn’t and I said some emotional spiel about “yeah of course don’t worry I forget it isn’t your job, to cheer me up. Sorry”. Since then things have been weird. I know I’m in the wrong because I shouldn’t have been such a girl but in my defence I was PMSing like a bitch, having not had a period for nearly 2 months. So I was bound to be sensitive.
The sad truth is, I like him. I’ve always liked him I just never realised till we started sleeping together. Now I’ve realised and its driving me insane because I think our sexual side is ruining our friendship side. We don’t speak as much as before. Sometimes days pass without so much as a “hello how are you?” And when we do chat it’s always about sex and when we can next meet up. He almost always asks me when I will next have a free place. I don’t know what to do. Do I carry on seeing him sexually and just forget I like him, as I’m sure it’ll wear off as time goes by. I mean, surely I cannot fall in love with him just by meeting up for fun. It isn’t like we hang out as just friends anymore. Sex is always involved. I don’t mind of course. I just mean, surely it’s unlikely I’d fall in love with the bastard if we only meet for sex and that’s it. Maybe it’s preferable than having sex AND hanging out to watch movies and chat. That would confuse stuff too much. More so than it already feels sometimes.

My only other option is to tell him I want our friendship back and we can’t have that if we are sleeping together.

Or a third option, ask him how he feels? Actually no, scrap that idea. He’d run a mile then we’d never even be friends. At the very least I want to be friends as that is how we started off and we were fine for 2 years before sex got in the way.

I think the next time I see him face-to-face I am going to ask him what he wants from “whatever it is we are doing?” And see what he says. I will also ask him if he thinks our friendship is being ruined by us having fun. Whatever he says, agrees or disagrees with, we can go from there. Okay, that’s the plan. Wish me luck.

TTFN x

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