Happy Birthday

Today is my uncle Jay’s 33rd birthday. Well he would’ve been 33. He died almost 13 years ago. Mom couldn’t visit the cemetery today so we’ve agreed we’ll go down with flowers tomorrow with my Nan.

Today my Nan and I got talking about his funeral. I didn’t go because I was only 10 when he died and my mom didn’t think it was appropriate I attend the funeral. I suppose in someways I am thankful that she felt that way. Today was the first time I’d heard my Nan speak about that day, how she felt about it and she revealed some things that I hadn’t known before. I am disgusted about the fact that her and my grandad weren’t given a seat at the front of the chapel. She’s his God Damn Mother for fucks sake. My aunt was 16 when he died and he is her only biological brother. You see my uncle, and my aunt, were adopted. My uncle it was obvious more so that he’s not my grandparents “biological” child simply because he’s black. But none of that changes who he is to us. As far as anyone is concerned, my grandparents lost a child when he died. My grandparents adopted 3 children. My uncle who died, my aunt – his biological half sister and my other uncle – the boxing guy. He’s only 4 years older than me. My mom is their biological daughter. Could never deny that, my mom looks like her mom lol my other uncle is also their biological son. He looks a lot like my Nan’s brother. My family is so big. I keep track of it all on ancestry.co.uk. It is a good job seeing as I have 17 first cousins and more than 80 second and third cousins.

Two of my Mom’s siblings have 5 children. I can’t say I’d like that many kids. One would be fine lol my mom was sensible, she just had two – one of each. I still have 4 siblings myself though because even though my momma only had 1 other child, my crazy dad had 3 lol so I have 3 half brothers and 1 half sister. All younger.

Enough about family. I could yabber on forever. There’s something I do wish to reveal on here. A little piece of vulnerability. I read another blog post recently that a lady had written about her previous relationship and how controlling he’d been etc. She shared a piece of her past and it made me think: I’ve never really gone into detail about myself and my ex. So when I get a chance to sit down and think it all through I’ll post my little piece about what when on and how I felt.

Food for thought.



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